by Eden Rose
If Vincent can watch me leave with my ex-husband, then I can do this for him. I thought to myself that this was the right thing to do.
The detectives excused themselves for a few and left. I put my head down on the table and used my arms as a pillow. I will never know when things got this complicated. Just when I think things are about to follow some sort of path, that fucking fork in the road throws me for a loop. Even though I know that his death was in the works for a while, I still feel responsible. A man has died because he got caught in between my life (or lack there of) with Joel.
Everything is just absolutely ludicrous. If it were not happening to me, I would think that some soap opera conducted this drama filled saga. Oh, God! When will this be over?
About twenty minutes later, the door opened and in comes Sammy. He is wearing a smug smile along with his signature suit.
"Hello, Savannah. I have been hired to be your attorney for this," he sat down next to me and pulled out his brief case. Have I really been here this long? Did he fly here?
Uh, what? "You're a lawyer?" I asked as my mouth dropped.
I have never seen him look anything but happy but he looks as if he is about to start foaming at the mouth. Great, I can add his name to the People I Have Made Mad list. "Vincent sent me a text as you guys were being taken away asking me to come. Then, I seen him and Rossi with Anne calling you stupid because you confessed."
He looked at me and grabbed my bunched hands. I took a deep breath and let my head fall onto his shoulder. He felt good. Vincent is home to me but it felt comforting to see Sammy.
"That was stupid as hell to confess. We both know that you didn't do anything. We would have been fine. Why would you confess?" I am very surprised that his lips were barely moving and his tone was so quiet. Normally, he is boisterous.
I lifted my head and I felt my eyes prick with unwanted tears about to fall. "Sammy, this was all of my fault. I am the reason why this happened. I was the one that was marked and now I am the one who killed him," I felt my tears fall and Sammy wiped them off with his finger.
"You didn't kill him, though."
Can't he see that I did this? "I did too. Quit trying to remove the blame off of me."
Sammy gripped my shoulders and shook me forcefully. "You do know you are going to be going to jail because of this, right? We are about to go on a secured plane and go back to the city. Are you sure this is what you want to do?"
I nodded and took a deep breath and held on to it. As it came out, I willed my tears to stop and stared at Sammy. "I love him, I couldn't let him take the fall for something that I did."
The door opened, and the detectives were back to lead me to the plane while they hand cuffed me and read me my rights. As I looked down, Sammy put his arm around my shoulder to guide me towards the plane.
Anne came running up to me and tried to grab my arm and begged me to not do this. I asked her to tell Vincent that I am sorry and that I loved him. Vincent wasn't in the room as I left.
Vincent was standing by the plane entrance and he looked hurt. "Savannah, please, don't do this..." I walked past him and boarded the plane with Sammy by my side the whole time. There are no amount of words in the English language that can describe the amount of pain I felt as I walked past Vincent. We just got back together, or whatever this is, and now I am facing this. Yes, I put myself up for it but it doesn't mean that hurts any less.
Only until the plane took off did I let myself cry. I knew that Vincent will be so upset that I took the blame off of everyone. However, it was the right thing to do. Because of me, everything has spiraled out of control. Sammy sat next to me and looked out the window. Every time I opened my mouth, he told me to not talk about anything.
The plane is a basic one. There is no warmth and was extremely different the plane ride that I took a few days ago. I tried to steady my breathing to calm myself down and Sammy said that we will be landing soon. As I closed my eyes, I dropped my head to lay on his shoulder and I winced as the handcuffs cut into my already bruised wrists.
"Savannah, once we get off this plane, you need to keep your head down and not talk to anyone," Sammy informed me as the plane was landing. "We are going to be going to a private room to discuss what happened. No one is to listen to us since this is attorney-client privilege." Sammy reached down and unbuckled my seat belt since I couldn't because of my hands being cuffed.
The detectives led me off the plane and handed me off to a different set of police. People that are in the airport were so loud and kept screaming my name. I did ignore them though.
When I got to the squad car, that is when I noticed that Johnny, John, Sal and Leo were right by the car. I couldn't look at them in the face, so I allowed the detective to push me into the car. Sammy sat next me and discussed what he had done that weekend. Obviously, I really didn't care. But it was great to have the distraction.
We arrived to the station, and I was led through the back entrance.
"I will like to have a few moments to speak to my client privately. Where is a private room?" Sammy asked the officer. "Come on, Savannah," he pulled me off the seat and unlatched my handcuffs. As soon as the door shut, I sat down in a chair and looked up to watch Sammy get all of his stuff together and sat out in an order. "We need to discuss defenses. Normally, you wouldn't be tried so soon, but since you confessed to a crime that you didn't commit, they moved up your trial. You won't be sleeping here, I convinced the sheriff to let you stay at my house tonight."
"Wait-"
He cut me off and laughed. "Yes, Vincent knows and he wanted you to be with me over staying here." I looked away from him. Never did I expect that I would be talking about defenses with my boyfriend's friend. "We are going to be going with self defense. Since you were obviously beat up, and my wife took a sample of your blood after you were drugged, this should work."
"What is the worst that could happen?" I asked very quietly since I did not really want to know the answer.
"I think we both know the answer to that question. You will tell your story exactly how you told it in Chicago tomorrow. While doing it, please stress the amount of pain and suffering that you went through. Also, Savannah..."
"Yes?"
"Joel will be there to testify against you. Be prepared."
My major defense mechanism kicked I. Sarcasm is my friend and I will use it to cover up how I truly feel. I feel scared. Terrified. "Great," I looked at him and gave him half a smile.
"I just hope you know how much this means to us... Even though Vincent is extremely angry about what you did, I hope you know that he feels awful."
"This doesn't make me feel better."
Sammy stands up, and pulled my elbow so I stood up with him too. "Come on, let's go back to my house. My wife and kids are dying to meet Uncle Pop's girlfriend."
Chapter Eight
I slept in the guest room. Surprisingly I slept pretty well. Some one must have brought one of my outfits over because when I got out of the shower, I found my grey suit and black pumps.
I didn't do too much to my hair and I kept my makeup as natural as possible. I didn't want to over do it. As I walked out of the bedroom, Valerie, Sammy's wife, handed me a cup of coffee and smiles at me. She is very pretty in the sense of a curvy woman. I love her auburn hair and deep blue eyes. Valerie's skin tone is flawless since she looks like she just graduated high school.
Her voice sounds angelic and young as well. "Its so nice to meet you. We have really missed you during our Sunday dinners this past month," she says and I accept the cup and smiled. I never heard of these Sunday dinners. That's so polite for them to not invite me but bring it up. I decided to not take it out on Valerie.
"Well, maybe if everything goes according to plan, I will be able to attend those." Pending on an actual invitation, that is. I'm sat at their kitchen table surrounded by Sammy and Valerie juniors. His son is about ten and his daughter is about twelve and the both of them look like mirrors of their parents.
&nb
sp; Sammy comes into the kitchen while securing his tie. As he sat down at the table, he pulled his daughter's pony which made her squeal. I knew right then and there what I have been missing. A sense of family. I tried to not cry as we left his place and got into his car.
"Here," Sammy hands me a bag. "Open it, its from Pop."
Inside the bag, was an envelope. I pulled it out and opened it. The envelope held the lyrics for Vivo Per Lei. I started crying as I read it over. On one side of the paper was the Italian translation, and the other had the English.
Sammy's car phone is ringing very loud and sounds as if it is coming through the speakers. I am pretty sure that his phone is blue-toothed through his stereo speakers.
"Hello?" Sammy asked as he hit the talk button on his system's face.
"Krosilo?"
"Hey, Moretti. What's up?" Sammy drove over towards the court house.
I remained quiet through their introductions. I was too sad and nervous over this whole situation.
"Is she right there?" Vincent asked and his voice catches as he said the last word.
Sammy looked at me and I looked out the window. "Yes, she is right here. Savannah has had a tough day already though."
"Baby doll, I love you," his voice was filled with love and nerves.
I whispered back to him: "I love you too. Thanks for the lyrics."
"Baby doll, we will get through this. Don't worry. Sammy? Take care of her please." With that he hung up and we walked through the court house doors.
Every single person that I have met through Vincent is standing by the door. I kept my head down while I walked into my room. Anne tried to call for me, but I'm too embarrassed to answer her. I was surprised to not see Vincent outside of the room especially since I just spoke to him and he didn't tell me that he wasn't going to be there.
"Savannah, sit right here," Sammy signaled for a chair right by the door. I looked around as I sat and noticed Joel on the other side of the room. "Don't be nervous, everything will be all right," Sammy sat next to me and poured me a glass of water.
The judge came in and looked from me to Joel. I watched every movement that the judge made and calculated those movements. If there was anything awkward about her... maybe I could see what my chances of winning are. Silly, I know. Due to the circumstances on why I am in the defendant seat- I have become so desperate that I am looking for signs.
"All right, everyone be seated. I am Judge Harold," the female judge sat down on her seat and we all followed. "I have seen that we already have a confession. Council, are you sure you want to remain with this plea?" With her silver hair in a bob, she shook her head and then adjusted her glasses. Even though she is clearly old enough to be a grandma, she looks pretty hip.
Sammy looked at me and I nodded. "Yes, your honor, we have."
Again, she adjusted her glasses. "What is your plea?"
"Self defense."
The judge went looking some files and then looked at me. "You may approach the bench."
I stood up on wobbly legs and walked towards the witness stand. As soon as I am seated, the bailiff swore me in.
Sammy came and walked across the room to stand in front of me to begin questioning. "Ms. Cavanough, could you please fill us in on your relationship with Mr. Millstone?"
I took a deep breath and scanned the room. Vincent wasn't here, but Ronnie was and he was sitting with Anne. That made me feel better... well as much as I could in these circumstances.
"Mr. Millstone called my business partner and myself to discuss a listing that he was wanting to establish. We met with him, and my date was with me. Mr. Millstone had a prior relationship with my partner and my dates, however they were extremely well behaved through out the dinner. During dinner, I found out that my new car was broken into and trashed. Then whoever did that, took my car to a field and set it on fire." I was lying and I hope that I was at least good at it.
I took a breather and looked around at audience. "Go on, Ms. Cavanough," the judge encouraged me but didn't look up from whatever she is doing. I wasn't looking at her though, I found the Exit sign and I concentrated on that as some sort of focal point. As long as I didn't look at anyone in the face, no one will know that I am lying.
Well, that's the plan.
"He didn't admit it, however my ex-husband admitted it for him. While, I was celebrating one night, I was drugged at a bar by Mr. Millstone and my ex-husband. They carried me into a room and stole my jewelry. My date was the one that rescued me." There is a perfectly good reason as to why this story has holes in it. Obviously I couldn't tell her everything but much more than that, I honestly don't remember.
"And then, what happened?" Sammy asked as I took another breather. I am still staring at the sign and I could see that Sammy is trying to get my attention by pacing in front of me.
I am so emotional right now that the sight of the familiar will have me busting out in tears. In every other situation, I am the one with the stiff jaw and can be impassive to my surroundings but right now is waaaaaaay too personal. Emotions that I never knew I felt came crashing in on me. All I want to do is to curl up in a ball and cry.
With my parents dying when I was so young, I jumped some major stages in my life. I had to be tough and graduate in order to honor my parents and their memory. I only remember breaking down a handful of times and the psychologist that I was forced to see said that my guilt over their deaths will hit me when I least expect it. Of course I thought he was full of shit, but I understood now.
Dr. Harder's advice rang true to me now, which is so unfortunate. All of this time, I have bottled up every single one of my emotions and never let anyone see that I can feel something. I never truly went through the grieving process but something about this situation that I am currently in, feels like I am grieving. Its strange when someone understands something that is so hard to explain.
"I was passed out for a whole day after I was drugged. About two weeks later, my ex-husband broke into my apartment to try and kill me. I was on a weekend trip, but my... significant other's friend went to my apartment to pick up some of my things. Joel," I nodded towards Joel, "thought it was me in the apartment and shot him."
The judge put her hand up to stop me and looked through her notes. When she nodded I knew she had the confirmation that she needed.
Play it fast and lose. Just rip the band aid off and get it over with. I am mortified by admitting these partial truths because I feel like the wimp girl who cries when she doesn't get what she wants. "Mr. Millstone put a contract up on my head because he wanted me to reconcile with my ex-husband. Long story short, I went and stayed with my ex in order to not be killed. At the gala the night he was killed, he captured me and held a gun to my back as he pushed me into the awaiting car."
I took a deep breath, and seen that there was shuffling in the room. As I looked up, I was met by Vincent's smile. There is just something about him that just calms me. He is my own relaxer. My personal stimulant. I need him.
"He told me that I couldn't scream and that I would be killed if I didn't follow what he wanted me to do. After he hit my face a few times, he tried to pull off my underwear," my voice started to shake as I remembered that night. "As he pulled my underwear down, he unzipped my dress. Mr. Millstone had two people hold me down by my wrists and ankles. I came to just in time to see the gun that was held in front of my face," I looked away and when I looked back Sammy's standing in front of the stand and smiled at me. "I had to protect myself. Living with my ex-husband gave me access to a gun," I looked through the crowd and I seen the pain on Vincent's face, "I reached into my purse and took out my gun to shoot him. After I shot him, my significant other came into the room." Well,more than my significant other... I didn't think "my next breath" would have flown over well in order to describe our relationship.
"What were you feeling during this?" Sammy asked.
"I seriously thought he was going to rape me or kill me. I never wanted to shoot anyone. My mind snapped and I s
hot him," I started to cry as Sammy left me. These weren't fake tears. Very much real.
The prosecutor came to speak to me. "That must have been really scary, Ms. Cavanough. What I would like to know is what your ex-husband has to do with the victim. Care to elaborate?" The prosecutor was a female. Maybe early forties and very in shape.
"They were friends. Mr. Millstone was trying to have my ex and I reconcile."
She paced the room and scanned the room as well. "Why did you two get a divorce?" I was shocked by her question.
"Objection! Relevance?" Sammy asked asked as he stood up from his table.
Joel signaled to his lawyer and she walked over to him. As they whispered together, I became more nervous. Nothing good can come from their whispering. "I believe that all of this happened to you. I have seen the pictures of your bruises and I seen your toxicity report, however what I don't believe is that you had to kill him."
