Her eyes widen. “H-Hi,” she says, her voice squeaking.
“Did you like what you saw?” Zoth asks.
Okay, now I’m getting pissed. What’s going on? Why would he say something like that to her?
The woman bites her lower lip. “I-I wasn’t watching.”
“You saw me fuck her,” Zoth says. “Have you ever imagined someone doing that to you?”
I try to let go of Zoth’s hand, but he holds mine even tighter. He knows I’m uncomfortable, but he’s not stopping.
“N-No.” She shakes her head quickly.
“You just like to watch.”
The woman nods, her gaze on the ground.
“Come,” Zoth says, taking her other hand. “You can watch some more.”
“But you… you can’t be…”
Zoth places my hand on his cock. “With my woman, I’m always ready.”
He is hard beneath my hand, but I don’t know if I want to, not with the woman watching up close. She’s a petite little thing, something a demon would chew up and spit out, but Zoth doesn’t seem to care. He just marches us along to a nearby hotel, books us a room, and soon enough, the three of us are nestled inside.
“If you’re going to watch, you’re going to have to be quiet,” Zoth tells her.
“I… I don’t know about this,” she says.
“You can feel free to touch yourself,” Zoth says. “Don’t worry. We won’t touch you.”
He removes my clothes, and I pull him close.
“What the fuck is this?” I hiss in his ear.
“Trust me, Bay,” he says. “I’m doing this for you.”
He makes a show of touching my naked body, of kissing and licking it, and fuck me, but my body is turning on. His fingers are demanding as he forces some into my mouth for me to suck. At the same time, he shoves some inside me, his thumb on my clit, and he steals an orgasm.
The woman watches everything, her eyes so wide they’re going to pop out of her head. She squirms on the bed, shifting, trying to get comfortable.
The moment she slips her hand down her shorts, Zoth abandons my body. There’s a flash of silver, and he’s cut the woman’s wrist. She doesn’t even scream or anything, and Zoth collects her blood in a vial before licking the wound, which heals shut as if he had never cut her.
The woman lies there, eyes open, breathing yet but unmoving.
“What did you do to her?” I ask, coming over to him.
“Gave her a bit of a good dream,” he murmurs. “She deserves it. It’s not easy to find a virgin.”
“How did you know?”
He grins. “I have ways of knowing things.”
“And her blood?” I jut my chin toward the vial.
Zoth reaches inside his shirt and removes another vial, the contents black. With expert precision, he adds one, two, three drops of blood. His finger covers the opening, and he shakes it a bit.
“Drink,” he tells me.
“I don’t—”
“Drink.”
There’s that note of command in his tone that makes me want to drink, but separate from that, I want to drink just because I’m curious.
So I drink.
And my eyes feel as if they’re open.
"How do you feel?" he asks, coming out of me.
“I feel…”
I can’t describe it, and as he touches my body again, claiming me, I can’t do anything but give myself to him completely and totally. He sets my body aflame, and I’m falling in with him in a dark, dark way, and I don’t know if I’ll survive the essence that is Zoth.
3
More time has passed. I’ve been with Zoth for so very long now that I don’t want to think about before.
There are times, though, when he frightens me, when I frighten myself. I'm willing to do dark things with him, for him, and it terrifies me. Twice, without any prompting at all from Zoth, I've gone over to the land of the humans. I sought out humans, and I might've drunk their blood.
The first time, I had been terrified. I hardly drank at all, and then I sent the human away after invading his mind and ensuring he wouldn’t remember what had happened.
The second time, though, I couldn't make up my mind which one to target. Then, I saw a guy fall into step behind an inebriated girl. It doesn’t take a genius to realize that his intentions weren’t good, so I followed him. He tried to get the girl to come with him, but I trolled on up, draped an arm around his shoulder, and grabbed his crotch.
“Come with me,” I murmured.
He didn’t even ask me my name. The guy just let me steer him to an alley, and he went to kiss me, but I evaded and kissed his neck before biting hard. Blood filled my mouth.
Now, vampires aren’t real, but there is something about drinking blood that awakens me. It’s dark, so very dark, and my wings match my hair. Well, mostly. My wings are as black as can be, still translucent, though, but my hair is a mixture of mostly black with a few purple strands. It’s hot as fuck if I say so myself.
The guy jerked against me, not really fighting, and then I realized why.
I drank too much.
He’s not dead, not yet, and I healed his wound before notifying the authorities. From a distance, I watch as they save his life.
But then I read the newspaper. Learned just how many women he had raped. And now he was going to prison.
I should’ve just killed the fucker, but at least he won’t be able to prey on any more women.
Still, that I came so close to the darkest ledge possible makes me stay far away from humans. I don’t need that on my conscious or my soul.
In fact, there's been something nagging at me, my conscious prickling at me, not leaving me alone, not even for a second. I know that I can't have my entire life revolve around Zoth. As much as I care for him, in a dark, twisted way, I love him, but he isn't good for me. This blood drinking, this brush with the dark side, I need to stop. I almost killed someone.
I need to stop myself before I do something I’ll regret.
Instead of going to Zoth’s, I head to campus, but I don’t go to my cottage. Rosemary lives with me, and she’ll just judge me, try to get me to open up, and I can’t. She thinks too highly of me, and if she ever learned the truth about what I did to that guy, even with him being a criminal, she won’t ever forgive me. I did that. Not Zoth. He might’ve given me my first taste of human blood and, in doing so, helped to awaken a darker side of me, but what I did to Mark Fox, that’s on me. Mark will spend the rest of his life in jail, yes, and I saved women from future attacks, but that had just been plain stupid luck.
I’m no champion. Not like Rosemary, who saw through my friends Spring and Thistle. Thistle actually killed people, and I had no idea. Not a clue.
Blind. I’m blind to the flaws of the people I care about most.
One of my friends who I haven’t seen for a long while now is Cosmo, and he’s the one I seek out now. He’s graduated, but he’s still on campus as a guard now.
I find him patrolling near the entrance to the academy.
“You’re working?” I ask with a groan.
“I’m off in five. I can cut out now if you want. What’s up?”
“Want to drink?”
He grins and runs a hand through his glittery silver hair. “You know I do, but the last time you and I drank together…”
I shrug one shoulder. “Yeah, I might remember what happened.”
“It was the best night of your life.”
I burst out laughing. “That so? Don’t let Zoth hear you say that.”
He snorts and blows out a breath. “You’re still with that demon?”
“Yes. Be nice.”
Cosmo just shakes his head. “I can treat you better than he can.”
“Maybe,” I murmur. “Right now, treating me better means drinking.”
Cosmo brings me to his place, and he pours us healthy glasses of fae nectar. I tap my glass against his but don’t drink.
“What
’s on your mind?” he asks, not drinking from his either.
I blow out a breath. “I think I’m going to flunk Illumination.”
“Really?” Cosmo shakes his head. “I didn’t have to take that course, and I’m glad.”
“Yeah, I wish I didn’t have to. Looking deeper into myself? No thanks.”
He furrows his brow. “Why wouldn’t you want to look inward? You kick ass.”
“Cosmo.”
“I kick ass. We would make a great pair.” He wiggles his eyebrows. “We’ve made a great pair before, you and I, our bodies slick with sweat…”
I shiver, remembering more than a few good times. He and I have had sex before, but we had always been drunk for it.
So why am I here with him now, with a glass of fae nectar in my hands? That’s just asking for me to want to get drunk and fuck him.
We were friends before we ever had sex. Why can't we share a drink and not end up in bed together? We can just talk, and that be it, right? Cosmo knows I'm unavailable, so he won't do anything more than flirt with me, and his flirting is harmless. He's harmless.
A wonderful kisser, and for all of his flirting, he's a good listener too, so long as you're willing to listen to him make suggestive comments throughout. That's just Cosmo's way, and honestly, I love him dearly.
"What about illumination is so hard?" he asks.
“I would rather just deal with Astral Projection,” I grumble.
“You like separating your soul and consciousness from your body, huh? I can help with that because when I make you come, it’s an out-of-body experience.”
I grin at him, roll my eyes, and take a deep swallow of my fae nectar. “I still remember the speech the instructor gave the first day of class. ‘You will see yourself for who you truly are, and that is a rare gift. If you can learn who you are, you can see your limits, your strengths, and your weaknesses. You can even turn your weaknesses into new strengths. Growing, developing, changing… that is what life is about. As long as you continue to adapt, you are truly living. It is when you stop bothering to better yourself that you start to die.’”
“That sounds like something everyone should do.”
I glower at him.
“What? Do you want to start to die?”
“Every beat of our heart makes us that much closer to the end of our time here on Earth,” I retort.
“You don’t have to be so morbid.”
I drain the rest of my drink. He hasn't touched his, which is saying something. Then again, he's a guard now. He's not the big fairy on campus anymore. He's responsible.
And he looks good doing it.
“Why are you talking to me about this? If you’re scared about seeing who you truly are, shouldn’t you be talking to your guy?”
I grimace. “I probably should.”
"So, why are you talking to me instead?"
“Because.”
“Because why? You miss me?”
“Maybe a little.” I lift an eyebrow. “Don’t let that go to your head.”
“I’d much rather something else go to my head.”
“Why doesn’t that surprise me?” I scoff, but I can’t even pretend to be stern. “I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too. So does Rosemary.”
“I know.” I groan. “I just wish… Sometimes, I wish I could just break apart into pieces so everyone can have some of me.”
“Don’t you dare. Those who love you love you for who you are, and we deserve more than just a part of you. We want the whole package of awesome that is Bay.”
“You’re a sweetheart,” I murmur.
"I'm a dumbass is what I am because you should be talking to your boyfriend about your Illumination course and why you're blocked on it. Maybe he can help you unlock who you really are deep inside."
I hesitate and then don’t even bother to respond.
“You need to think about why you don’t want to see who you are,” he murmurs.
“I’m a dark fae.”
“Nothing wrong with that.”
“That’s all I am.”
“Nope. Try again,” he says cheerfully.
“You’re a goof.”
“Not nearly.” He winks.
We talk for a while more, and he kisses my cheek before I leave. A part of me doesn’t want to depart, but he’s right. I should talk to Zoth.
So I head to his place. Zoth eyes me. As always happens when I’m around, he grows hard, but I don’t let him drag me to bed. I swear he’s not just a demon. He’s an incubus. Maybe that’s why I’m so damn attracted to him. There are times when I don’t know who I am around him. It almost seems as if my identity is being reduced to Zoth’s girlfriend instead of Bay.
Instead, I sit down at the table and stare Zoth down until he sits too.
“You’ve been drinking,” he remarks.
“Yes.”
“With who?”
“A friend.”
"The friend have a number?"
“Yes.” I lick my lips. “Zoth, I need your help.”
“Anything, doll. What do you need?”
“I don’t want to fail Illumination.”
"Illumination," Zoth growls, his upper lip curling back to bare his teeth. His scowl is impressive, and his eyes glow red. His fists slam into the table.
And that’s when I realize that red means he’s furious.
“Yes. I can’t see…”
“You don’t need that damn course,” Zoth says. “You already know who you are.”
“According to my professor, I don’t. I haven’t made hardly any progress—”
"If you ask me, it's a stupid bit of non-magic. Humans pretend to understand the mind, how it works, and that's all that illumination is for you fairy-types."
I bristle, not liking his word choice. Fairy-types? Can he be more degrading?
“What does your professor say you don’t know, that you’re doing wrong?”
“I don’t know my strength, my weaknesses… my desires…”
“Bull shit. You know your desires.” He reaches over and slips his hand up my skirt. I’m not wearing panties, and he inserts a few fingers. “You’re always dripping wet for me. Fuck. You’re so hot.”
Zoth makes me come, and I hate myself for giving in to him, for being so weak and needing him to make me feel good, to make me feel like I belong.
Maybe that’s my weakness. Maybe he is, and that’s why I’m blocking myself.
Because I don’t want to give up Zoth even though I know I should.
4
I’m stupid. So fucking stupid.
“Your professor of Illumination,” Zoth said this morning lazily. “I bet you she has a third eye.”
“Of course. A mind’s eye.”
“No. A literal third eye.”
“You mean in her hair?”
"No. Separate from her. It's a powerful device. I would love for you to get it for me. You do that, and I will help you with illumination and anything else your little heart desires." He snuggled up to me, being all sweet and innocent for the first time ever, and now, standing outside of her office, debating whether or not I should try to lie to him to say I couldn't do it.
Because I can do it.
I just don’t know if I should.
Scratch that. I know I shouldn’t, but…
I don’t want to let Zoth down.
Professor Luna’s office is smaller than some of the other professors’. Pictures of landscapes and even seascapes line the walls, hung up by vines. Her desk and chair are both made from tree stumps. Folders and papers sit in neat piles on her desk.
The third eye has to be here somewhere, and it takes me a few minutes to find something interesting—a tiny engraving on the tree trunk. It almost looks like a lock, and I use the vine from the wall holding up the pictures to form a kind of key to press against the lock mechanism. A tiny part of the bark opens up like a drawer. Inside is a literal eye.
I’m more than a lit
tle creeped out by it, but I use a vine to pick up the eye and place it in a small pouch. Then, I’m out of there and off campus as quickly as can be.
But I don't go to Zoth. Something about this doesn't seem right. He doesn't seem to like the magic of illumination, and now he wants to steal from that professor? As much as I don't want to risk getting on Zoth's bad side, I can't let him have this. Maybe after I learn what the third eye can do, maybe then I'll be willing to give it to him.
So I hide it, sneaking into my room in my treehouse, in and out before my parents can realize I was ever there.
As soon as classes end, Zoth demands I come over, and we make love… if you can call it that. I have a harder time orgasming, but he doesn’t seem to notice.
“Have you had a chance to find the third eye?” he murmurs as he brushes my dark hair from my face.
“No,” I murmur, my heart racing.
I’m fibbing.
I really am dark. There’s no denying it now.
“No?” he repeats. “Come on. Let’s go and get it now.”
“But it’s so late. Let’s go in the morning.”
“She’ll be around her desk in the morning.”
“That’s if it’s even at her desk. What if she has it at home?”
"No, she'll keep it close to her breast. It'll be in her desk somewhere, but if you want to wait until morning…"
“Please.”
“Whatever my dark fae Bay wants.”
What I want is for him to drop it, but that won’t happen, and somehow, Zoth manages to get me to agree that we’ll head on over to the academy for dinner. I’m not at all surprised when he makes a detour. He’s outside the office building, waiting, watching. I’m a bit away, hoping Professor Luna will stay away because I have a really bad feeling about this.
And then, she leaves. He trails behind her, and I trail behind him by a fair margin. I should call out, warn the professor, but I don't. A part of me hopes my fears are irrational, that I'll be foolish to call out, but before Professor Luna can reach the front gate, Zoth whistles. She turns to look, and his hand reaches out. His fingers are claws, and he rips his hand down her front. Abruptly, he pulls his hand out, and he rips out her heart. Professor Luna falls to the ground, her eyes glassy, and Zoth lingers above her and eats her heart.
Dark Fae Penitentiary: First Transgression Page 2