"I won't be able to affect a guard. Please. They won't hire guards who can be easily manipulated, and even if I could control a mind, my hold won't' be as strong in here as I would be able to command outside of these walls."
“Not only that, but the guards might be reading our minds,” I point out. “They might know what you’re planning.”
“Not planning anything.” Violet bats her eyelashes. “I’m a good little light fairy.”
We all crack up.
That night, I can’t sleep. Spring is tossing and turning, and finally, I roll over to face her.
“Can’t sleep?” I ask.
“No.”
“Did it hurt? Did they try to sever you from nature again?”
“Why do you care?”
“It majorly affected me,” I murmur. “I can’t imagine going through it twice.”
"Yeah, well, you're fine, aren't you?"
“Oh, yes, I’m fine.” I draw out the word.
“You think far too highly of yourself.”
“That so?” I grin. “Try and get into my mind again.”
“Seriously?”
“Yes. What number am I thinking of?”
“Really, Bay? You can’t think of something better?”
“I… Fine. What am I thinking of?”
I wish I had been a better friend to you, Spring.
Spring blinks a few times. I can tell only because of the whites of her eyes disappearing. At night, it’s so dark here.
What the fuck? I can’t get a read on her! I could earlier, before the procedure. Did they really tamper with me? Am I free? No. I can hear Fern and the others. Bay, though…
I rub the back of my neck. Seriously? Spring can’t get into my mind, but I can get in hers? How is this possible?
Drake. Whatever he gave me helped to protect me.
But if I can get in Spring’s mind, I can give her a nightmare. I can affect her dreams, do a little payback.
But that’s not me. I never cared for dream manipulation when I took the course, and I don’t care for it now either.
“Can’t do it?” I ask kindly. “You’re probably just tired. We can try in the morning if you like.”
“Whatever, Bay. Just shut up and let me sleep.”
“Goodnight, Spring.”
“Yeah, yeah, night.”
20
The next morning, I sit up, having slept deeply and more soundly than I have since I had been imprisoned. I sit up and stretch and then flinch as I realize Spring's staring at me.
Her eyes are narrowed, and she’s clearly concentrating hard.
“You trying already?” I ask dryly.
“No,” she snaps.
Of course not. I’m still protected, but for how long? Will I need to eat that wafer thing every day? I’ll do it. Maybe if I eat it enough, it won’t taste like shit anymore.
She hates me. She really does. I can see it in the tension of her shoulders, her sneer, her eyes. It’s an uncomfortable feeling, having that much hatred geared toward me.
Maybe I should try to get in her head, see what she has planned for me, but the bell rings, and the cells open, and Spring dashes out of there before it's our turn.
Whatever. I don’t mind having less time together.
To ensure we have more time apart, I wait to be last and walk so slowly to the cafeteria that the guard snaps at me to pick up the pace. There’s no wafer on my tray, and Drake isn’t anywhere near me. Oh well. Maybe the wafer doesn’t have to be consumed daily. That would be nice. I just don’t have any warning as far as when the wafer will wear off.
Unless the wafer is a coincidence. Drake did take Spring away for a procedure.
No. The wafer has to explain how I was able to get into her mind. Otherwise, there’s no way I could’ve pulled that off.
Hmm. Violet and the others aren’t sitting in their normal spots. I glance all around and spy Pyra talking to Spring.
Uh oh.
Lookie there. Over to the right is Rosa, and I head her way.
The redhead scowls at me, and I slow down.
Rosa jumps out of her seat, abandoning her tray, and marches right up to me. “Who do you think you are?” she demands.
“I beg your pardon?”
“You. You’re nothing but a slut, aren’t you?”
I shrug. “So I’ve had a few sexual partners. What’s it to ya?”
“Guard fucker,” she hisses. “You think you’re better than us, that you’re going to get perks, that you’ll get out of here faster than anyone else in here, don’t you?”
“I don’t think that,” I protest.
“Yes, you do. Admit it. You think you’re the shit.”
“I think we all have issues and whatnot, but—”
“I don’t have issues!” Rosa snaps.
“You let people bleed out from thorns,” I retort.
“Yeah, and if I had access to thorns right now…”
I shrug. “Go ahead. Insult me. Threaten me. I don’t give a damn.”
“You stay away from me. You’re bad news, and that’s saying something.”
“I’ll be sure to never let you visit once I get out of here because I plan on having a garden filled with black roses.”
Rosa’s eyes narrow. “You really are a bitch, you know that?”
"Why? Because you want to use a thorn to gouge out my eyes? Oh, yes, I'm the evil one."
Rosa purses her lips.
“You ever stop to wonder why you use thorns to hurt people?”
“They all hurt me first if you must know,” she snaps. “Not that it’s any of your concern.”
“So you were angry and upset. That’s fine and normal, but to—”
“As if you’re normal yourself. As if you have any right to judge! You drank—”
“Drank what?” I snap, bristling, hoping against hope that Spring never realized what I did.
“You drank and slept with Cosmo!”
“Yeah, before he was a prisoner here,” I say, my heart beating a normal pace now. “You can believe me. I haven’t—”
“I don’t believe anything you say.”
“Fine,” I spit out, “but Cosmo’s a good guy. He wouldn’t fuck an inmate. Think what you want of me, but don’t you dare think badly of him.”
Rosa lifts her eyebrows and whistles. “You care for that fucking guard, don’t you?”
“I care about one person.” I jab my thumb at myself.
“Not even your twin, huh?” Pyra asks, coming up behind me.
“Get away from her, Pyra,” Rosa demands.
"You have a sister. A twin!" Pyra says. "And you don't even care about her!"
“I—”
"You should've done everything you could to be there for her. You're terrible! She had to be the one to realize that Spring was setting those fires. You were living with Spring, supplying her with drugs, and you didn't even realize what a loose cannon she is! You hurt your sister!"
“I didn’t hurt my sister!” I say through gritted teeth, “but you can go ahead and believe the lies Spring’s spreading. I don’t give a flying fuck. I love Rosemary. We aren’t the same, but that doesn’t mean a thing. Rosemary’s a much better fairy than I’ll ever be, and that’s why I’m in here, and she’s out there. I wish her the very best, but Spring? Fuck her. Do whatever the fuck you all want. I don’t need you. I don’t need anyone.”
I blow past them, walking between them, my left shoulder hitting into Rosa then my right into Pyra.
“You really don’t know who you’re dealing with,” a fairy I never talked to before says. He’s a tall, lanky prisoner, and there’s a dangerous glint in his eyes.
“Not in the mood, buddy. Bother someone else.”
“Not here to cause anything, but I have to admit I have a soft spot for Pyra. There’s a reason why she sets fires all the time.”
“Yeah? I suppose you want to tell me.”
“Might as well.” He leans forward. “Her younger brother died. Their par
ents had been high on fairy dust. There was a massive ice storm. Her brother wandered outside. Pyra couldn’t find him in time. He froze to death. Pyra had wanted to set a fire to try to save him. Her mom had come back by that time and wouldn’t. She couldn’t start a fire herself, so they sent word to a neighbor, and it was too late.”
“Pyra blames herself.”
“No. She blames her mom.”
“She torched her, didn’t she?”
“Well, set the treehouse on fire, yeah. Her parents were both inside.”
“I tied them to their bed first after drugging them. They were awake and conscious when I sent the fire, if you must know,” Pyra says from behind me.
I turn to face her. “Think whatever you want of me, but I would die for Rosemary. She would die for me.”
“Yeah, well, it wasn’t just Spring who gave your sister issues. Thistle was a friend of yours, too, right?”
I wince. “Yeah, well, I don’t talk to him, and I don’t want to see him now either.”
Violet walks over and places her hands on Pyra’s shoulders protectively. “You can try to avoid him as much as you like, but I’m sure he’ll get over the fact that you have dark hair. He worships your sister, you know.”
“Thistle will stay in here forever and never come near Rosemary,” I say firmly. “If I have to make sure he hurts me so that he never gets out of here, so be it. That’s how much I care about her. So, yes, I’ve done some fucked up things, but I wouldn’t ever allow harm to come to Rosemary.”
Violet whispers in Pyra’s ear, and they walk away.
From not that far away, I spy Spring. She has a cocky little smirk on her face.
I almost glide over to her. “Hiya, Spring.”
“Losing friends?” she asks, feigning innocence.
“I don’t have any friends here, Spring. Didn’t you know that?”
“You’ve been sitting with them—”
“They adopted me, not the other way around. I don’t give a damn if I never talk to them again. Doesn’t matter to me.”
Spring’s nostrils flare. “Are you so sure you want enemies in a place like this?”
“What’s that human expression? Keep your friends close, your enemies closer? Something like that. Seems you and me are already doing that.”
“I…” She scowls.
“You want to blame me for your life’s choices? Whatever. I can’t stop you. I don’t give a rat’s ass what you think of me. You go after Rosemary, though, and I will fuck you up. As for me? Go ahead. Come at me. I can deal with you and your mind games.”
“I’m not playing mind games,” she protests.
“You’re playing games, and you’re gonna lose. Just so you know.”
She has her cup in her hand. It’s still half-filled, and I slap her wrist so the contents spill onto the floor.
“Don’t trip,” I throw over my shoulder, already walking away from her.
One, two…
On three, I turn around, my arm up, and my arm knocks the glass to the floor.
I wink at her, mouth, “Loser,” and head toward the door, ready to go back to the cell.
21
“Spring, clean this up right now!” I overheard one of the guards say.
I smirk.
“Bay did it!” Spring protests.
“Bay did do it,” Pyra says.
I inhale deeply. I see how it is. Honestly, I don't have to be friends with Pyra and them. That would just complicate my wanting to get out of here, but Pyra needs help. They all do. They need to have therapy, their minds examined. Why isn't there a means for fairies to be rehabilitated? No wonder there's no way for Spring to have a cell to herself. There's no room for all of us. Either we need another prison, or they're going to have to start to have three in a room, and that's just a recipe for disaster.
“It’s your glass, Spring, and I’m not going to tell you again,” the guard demands.
“Bay’s right here,” Rosa says, pointing to me.
I wave to her from my perch by the door.
“You shouldn’t antagonize them,” Drake mutters. “Come with us.”
I glance over at him. He’s hovering beside Trevan. Where’s Cosmo? He’s nowhere to be seen, but I don’t have any reservations following these two into a room that’s basically a supply closet.
“Just enough room for a little front and back action,” I murmur.
“I don’t think that’s why we asked you here,” Trevan says dryly.
“No?” I tilt my head to look up at him and then laugh outright as Drake shuts the door, trapping us in the tight quarters. “Maybe you need to think again.”
“I think you need to be careful,” Drake says.
“You’ve already given me warnings, and my mind seems to be safe from Spring. What else do I need to know?” I ask, holding out my hands. “Believe me, boys, I appreciate your taking an interest in me—”
“In your safety,” Trevan corrects.
“If you’re interested in my safety, then you’re still interested in me,” I say sweetly.
He slowly shakes his head, but he’s grinning. He has a great grin, perfect teeth, and his lips are rather kissable.
I’m lost. I’m so very lost. That’s the only reason why I’m even entertaining the idea of them. Trevan and Drake are worried about keeping me safe, but that’s their job. It’s only in my head that they’re taking a special interest in me. That’s all. They don’t have romantic feelings for me. I need to stop thinking about having one and then the other.
I exhale and nod slowly. “Go ahead, Drake. Tell me what you want me to know, what you want me to look out for.”
“I want to offer you something.”
“A proposition? Why, Drake, how scandalous. Yes.”
“You don’t even know what I’m proposing,” he protests.
“Still a yes, darling,” I drawl.
He chuckles and rolls his eyes playfully. “You’re something else, you know that?”
"Indeed, I do." I bite my lower lip and run my fingers over my choker. "What is it you're proposing?"
“I want to get you another cellmate.”
“Bump me to another cell?” I ask, shocked. “But there aren’t any open slots. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s what I was told.”
Trevan snorts. “You really think it would be a good idea to bump her to another cell? That’s just going to make Spring act up even more.”
Drake opens his mouth.
“Don’t you think Bay can take care of herself?” Trevan asks.
“It’s not that I think she can’t take care of herself,” Drake says hotly. “It’s just that the two of them antagonize each other.”
“I’m not just going to roll over and let her pile shit on me,” I say dryly.
“Riling her up isn’t going to help you any,” Drake says.
“I’m a big girl. Trust me.”
I can’t help it. We’re too close together, and there’s something about the worry and compassion in their eyes. They earnestly want me to be safe from harm, and I can appreciate that even if they aren’t ready to drop their pants.
My hands touch their chests, and my heart is beating fast. It feels so perfectly scandalous to be here with both of them, and I stare up at them from lowered lashes.
My lips come together, and I wink at them. “Don’t lose sleep over me unless it’s because you’re using your hand for a particular workout.”
“This isn’t the time to joke around. Spring is seriously fucked up.”
“Then lock her up in solitary. Put her in isolation.” I shrug. “I mean, all Pyra had to do was start a tiny fire, and she—”
“Pyra doesn’t know how to start a tiny fire,” Trevan says firmly.
“Plus, she burned one of the guards.”
“What? I didn’t…” My nostrils flare. “She needs help. Pyra isn’t dangerous. All she—”
“She is very dangerous, and if you think otherwise, you’re a fool,” Trevan sa
ys. “A hot fool, yes, but a fool nonetheless.”
“Don’t flatter me when you’re insulting me,” I say sharply. “I’m telling you that deep down, Pyra is in pain. Fire brings her comfort. If she could have—”
“Have what? A ball of fire with her at all times to be like a witch’s familiar?” Drake asks.
“Don’t mock. Witches aren’t real.”
“No, but my point remains. She can’t walk around with fire constantly.”
“What if… Tar of Everseal,” I exclaim excitedly. “That burns without ever going out. She could have a torch with her that never burns out!”
“Yes, and the fire that burns of Tar of Everseal isn’t ordinary fire. We wouldn’t be able to put it out without a hell of a lot of effort. The entire prison could go up in flames,” Trevan says.
“But it’s stone,” I protest.
“That’s how hot her fires run,” Drake says.
“Your heart is going to get you killed,” Trevan grumbles, “you and us.”
“Too light for this place,” Drake murmurs.
“Hardly.” I burst out laughing. “If you only knew what I would be willing to do with you, with you both…”
Trevan narrows his eyes at me, and I suck in a breath. He’s annoyed with me. Why?
“All you want to do is to help Pyra,” he says. “We overheard what she said to you. You two aren’t friends.”
“You’ve all given up on her, on the rest of us.” I hesitate.
No. That’s not true. They haven’t given up on me, clearly, or else they wouldn’t be so concerned about Spring and my beef. They would just let it play out.
There’s a reason why they are so worried about me, and I wish I could believe it’s because they have feelings for me, but they don’t. They don’t know me well enough to have feelings. If they do have feelings, it’s nothing more than lust, pure and simple.
I’ve been viewed as an object of lust for so long that it’s second-nature for me to use my body to get what I want. It’s my default. I don’t worry about feelings outside of lust because feelings are messy. They complicate things.
But I don't know if lust is enough for me anymore. Yes, I'm strong and capable despite being locked up, but I'm not the same girl I used to be. I might not be able to truly make a breakthrough with Illumination, but I am willing to redefine myself, to find a new me post-Zoth.
Dark Fae Penitentiary: First Transgression Page 10
