by A. M. Arthur
“But is too much aftershave better or worse than no deodorant?”
“Ugh. Tie.” A light drizzle was starting. “Ready to go?”
“Yes,” Colt replied. “I’m dying to see your new place.”
“It’s no fancier than my old apartment, simply a different building. But my neighbors are quieter, so I can’t complain.”
Avery climbed into the driver’s seat, stupidly happy to have Colt in the car with him. He never used to understand what some couples said about aching for their partner when they were apart, not until his reunion with Colt. Avery didn’t ache for him exactly, but his body definitely knew when Colt was back in its proximity.
He eased his car onto the 405 freeway north to Brentwood and Friday evening traffic.
“I don’t suppose we could make a pit stop?” Colt asked. “Can we hit In-N-Out? I’ve been craving their Double-Double.”
“They have In-N-Out in San Jose.”
“Yeah, but they taste better in La La Land.” Colt wiggled his eyebrows. “Please?”
“Okay, fine. We’ll stop for burgers.” How could he deny Colt something as simple as his favorite fast food?
It added about twenty minutes to their drive, but it was worth it for the way Colt tore into his food, while Avery snacked on some of his fries. He’d eaten an early dinner, unsure if Colt would be hungry or not, and now that question had been answered.
“So am I still the surprise guest tomorrow?” Colt asked. He had ketchup smeared on his chin, and Avery wiped it off with his thumb.
“Yes. I told Violet I’m bringing a plus-one, but not who it is. Are you okay with that?”
“She’s your mom, Avery. You need to do this the way you think is best.”
“I just…she won’t pitch a public fit, because it will upset Nana and Pappy, and if I tell her ahead of time, she’ll just work up a good snit by the time the party starts. I think it will be better if we simply show up together so she can see how happy we are.”
“If that’s what you think is best, that’s what we’ll do.” Colt reached over the console and popped a fry into Avery’s mouth. “Believe it or not, I’ve been looking forward to this party.”
“Big fan of mixing it with dozens of people over the age of sixty?”
Colt snorted. “No, meeting your family. Specifically meeting Violet and Mike. I’ve only ever heard about them.”
“Don’t worry, they won’t wear bondage leathers to the party. Although Mike does wear a collar, so I guess that’s technically gear. They aren’t ashamed of their lifestyle, even though a lot of Mike’s family doesn’t understand.”
“Can’t imagine his family would understand our sexual proclivities, either.”
“Don’t know, don’t care. What we have is special.” Avery reached over to squeeze Colt’s thigh. “And like I said before, Mike has a gay sister, so we won’t be the only queer couple at the party.”
“How many people are going?”
“About a hundred and fifty, I think. They rented a hotel ballroom for the event.”
Colt let out a low whistle. “Fancy.”
“My grandparents have money thanks to some property they rent. Sixty years together is a good reason to spend some, don’t you think?”
“Definitely. Think we’ll make it to sixty years?”
“That would make us ninety-three and ninety-four? You might want to start cutting out some red meat.”
Colt grunted. “How about fifty years? I like my steaks.”
“I know you do.” He gave Colt’s thigh another squeeze, then returned his hand to the wheel so he could navigate a two-lane shift. Their exit was coming up.
Avery drove through the now-familiar neighborhood. He used to live on the other side of the city and hadn’t often gotten this far north, but he’d wanted to be as far as possible from the memories he’d once had of Colt. And it had the added bonus of being much closer to campus than his old apartment.
The gated apartment complex had four-story buildings with wide breezeways, and were new enough to have in-house washer/dryer combinations, which saved Avery quarters in laundry. It also had a private balcony, which he enjoyed sitting out on in the evening with a glass of wine.
He already had a bottle of Riesling chilling in the fridge.
“Nice digs,” Colt said. “You’ve even got a gate.”
“Keeps out the riffraff,” Avery quipped. “But I suppose I’ll allow you in just this once.”
“Brat.” Colt swiped lightly at his shoulder.
Avery found his assigned space and parked. Colt grabbed his overnight bag from the back seat and followed Avery up to the second floor. His apartment was on the corner and easy to get to, which sometimes meant hearing lots of neighbors coming and going, but he had a great view from his balcony, so he didn’t mind.
Colt stood in the center of the living room and gazed around the open space. “Did you keep anything from your old apartment?” he asked.
“My clothes,” Avery replied. He tried to see his very modern, beige-and-chrome home as Colt might. “I needed a fresh start. Not only from you, but from doing scenes. I left behind almost everything that reminded me of that part of my life.”
“Except your clothes.”
Avery tugged Colt toward the coffee table, where he’d left one particularly important item out. “And this.”
Colt’s face went perfectly still as he bent to pick up the original contract he’d signed with Avery. His yeses, maybes, and hard limits. The agreement they’d made once upon a time, long before anything sexual developed between them. “I can’t believe you kept this.”
“I couldn’t seem to put it through the shredder with the others.”
“We may have to revisit the maybes, and hard limits. I’ve learned a lot since I signed that.”
“Hmm. Sometimes I wonder if I kept it because deep down, I hoped I’d find you again.”
Colt smiled. “I like the sound of that.” Then he cracked a big yawn. “Ugh, sorry, I was up earlier than normal. We’ve had a drier than usual winter, and I got an alert about a brush fire in the area, so everyone was up and ready to evac the horses if it got too close.”
“Holy shit, that’s nuts.”
“County got it under control fast, so we were fine.”
“Does that happen a lot?” Avery asked as he walked toward the kitchen for the wine.
“Once or twice during fire season, but not so much in winter. It was probably some idiot hikers up in the mountains.” Colt followed him and leaned on the island while Avery got out his wine bottle opener. “You give me wine and I’ll be asleep in ten minutes.”
“Sounds like you need the rest, and we do need to be up and on the road by nine.” Avery poured them both a glass, then handed one to Colt by the stem. “Drink up, lightweight.”
“Watch it. I can tequila shot your ass under the table.”
“I don’t doubt that.” Avery swirled his wine, then breathed in the sweet scent. Took a sip. “I must admit, you’re showing amazing restraint, considering it’s been almost a month since we’ve seen each other.”
Colt smiled shyly. “I didn’t want to take too many liberties in your own place. Figured if you were up for anything, you’d initiate it.”
Avery turned that over in his mind, and it hit him that Colt was almost always the one to initiate physical contact. Not simple kisses and touches, but anything that might lead to sex. And that made sense, because Colt was a very sexual guy, whereas Avery…wasn’t. Yes, he loved the sex he had with Colt, but he could also take sex or leave it, as evidenced by Colt being his only lover.
“Thank you,” Avery replied. “You don’t have to hold back for my sake. If I’m not up for something, I’ll tell you.”
Colt sipped from his wine. “I know you told me you didn’t date anyone else besides me because
you were so focused on your work, but do you think maybe there’s another reason?”
“Like what?” He forced back a weary sigh, already over this particular conversation. “Low testosterone? Violet and I had that conversation years ago, and I’m fine, thank you very much.” Avery took his wine into the living room and sank down on the sofa, pleased when Colt joined him so their legs and hips touched. “I just…had no interest in being part of a pair.”
“Until me?”
“Until you. Why can’t that be the simplest answer? Why does it need to be any bigger than I simply chose you and don’t need anyone else?”
“It doesn’t.” Colt tipped back half his glass of wine. “I just got to thinking about something thanks to Wes and his nosiness.”
“Wes being nosy?” Avery deadpanned.
“I know, I know. A few weeks ago at dinner, Wes was at the ranch and we got chatting about stuff. I told him more about us, and I guess it stuck in his craw that you’ve never dated other people, and he started emailing me articles about asexuality and aromantic people.”
Avery knew the terms in an academic sense, and he’d given passing thought to them in regard to himself, thanks to Violet, but never any serious consideration. He didn’t need a sexual orientation label in order to feel complete as a person. He’d accepted himself and his unusual preferences a long time ago.
“So you think I fall on this spectrum of orientations?” Avery asked.
“I mean…yeah? I read the articles and website links, and I see a lot of you in what I read. I’ve been thinking about it, and I wanted to talk to you in person.” Colt tilted his head. “I’m guessing from your reaction you know what those terms mean.”
“I do. I’ve researched them in the past, and to be honest, demisexual does seem to fit me, because I began being attracted to you sexually after we’d established a strong relationship. But Colt, I’m happy just being me. I know that having a label helps other people feel more comfortable, feel like they belong and aren’t broken or alone in their feelings or desires. And I respect that. But I don’t need that label to define myself to me. I don’t need to call myself gay, asexual, pansexual, or any other label in order to love you. I hope that’s okay.”
“Of course, it is.” Colt put his wineglass down and angled to fully face Avery, his expression so open and tender that Avery fell in love all over again. “I just wanted to bring it up, in case you hadn’t heard of the terms yet. To be honest, until Wes set me straight, I had no idea asexuality was a thing. And now I do. I will respect whatever you want in regards to labels. But just FYI, I am a rainbow-flag-waving, Britney-loving, full-on gay man who loves you for exactly who you are.”
“This I know.”
Colt laughed. “Good.”
“So is this conversation why we haven’t even kissed since we’ve been alone?”
“Pretty much.”
Avery added his wineglass to the coffee table. “Then come here, hot stuff.” He tugged Colt into a long, sensual kiss. Lips dancing, teeth nipping, tongues playing. The kind of slow kissing Avery loved best, because sometimes it led to more, but other times it didn’t. Tonight, fatigue and wine won the battle, and Colt pulled away to yawn again.
“Okay, bedtime for you,” Avery said.
“Sorry to ruin the mood.”
“You didn’t ruin anything. I’m perfectly happy to kiss you senseless and then put you to bed. Come on.” He pulled Colt up from the couch and led him to the bedroom.
They both changed into sleep clothes and took turns brushing their teeth in the bathroom. Avery wasn’t tired, but he didn’t want to lose this chance to watch Colt fall asleep in his arms, so he tucked them both into bed. Tomorrow was a big day, but Avery could wake up in the morning knowing he was loved by the man in his bed.
Everything else was details.
* * *
Colt woke up slightly muzzy from the wine, but also happy to be in his very favorite place: in bed with Avery. Any bed, he didn’t care, because the important factor was his slumbering boyfriend. They were both facing the center of the bed. Colt had lost his pillow and was using Avery’s outstretched arm instead, and Avery’s mouth was open, letting out a soft snore. Mahogany hair fanned his cheek, and Colt softly brushed it away.
These quiet moments were the ones he treasured the most, because they happened so rarely. Sitting together during a movie, sharing beers on the cabin porch, waking up to the other still asleep. Small moments Colt kept close to his heart, so he had a wonderful memory to help him through all the days he didn’t have them. All the days he and Avery spent apart.
It wasn’t easy, and the more deeply in love Colt fell, the harder those days became. Sometimes he missed Avery so much he physically ached, and those were the worst. He threw himself into his work, and into carefully rebuilding his relationships with Reyes and Mack. He hung out with Robin more frequently, too, and in turn, with Derrick. The pair wasn’t dating as far as Colt knew, but they did like to get cozy when their threesome hit the clubs.
And for the first time in years, clubbing wasn’t as fun as it used to be. Yeah, Colt loved to dance and drink and get his freak on once in a while, but now that he wasn’t out prowling for a good lay, the whole thing was losing some of its appeal. Which wasn’t unusual when someone settled down and grew up. No one clubbed forever; he was on the cusp of turning thirty-five, and Colt had his guy.
He watched Avery sleep for a while longer, until his full bladder demanded he get up and take care of things. Avery had shifted to his stomach when Colt returned, his arm still stretched out toward Colt’s side of the bed. Colt climbed on top of the covers and eased his body down so he covered Avery’s. Kissed his cheek. Avery snuffled, then tried to stretch beneath him.
“Mmm.” Avery scrunched his eyes, then blinked them open. “That’s not where I left you last night.”
“I know. I improvised. Good morning.”
“Morning. Sleep okay?”
“Like a rock. You?”
“I always sleep well when we’re together.” Avery nudged a bit, so Colt rose up long enough for Avery to twist around to his back. “What time is it?”
“A little after seven, so no rush.”
“Oh good, because I’m quite enjoying this. Although I’d like it better if you were under the covers with me.”
Colt didn’t have to be told twice. He slipped back under and right back on top of Avery, his bigger body cradled between Avery’s spread thighs. The position was doing wonders for Colt’s faded morning wood, and Avery’s pressed nicely against his belly. Colt began a slow, steady rocking of his hips, giving them both enough pressure to feel it, but not enough to get them off.
Avery grinned up at him, his face pillow-creased but also awake and aware of what they were doing. After last night’s conversation about Avery’s sexuality, Colt had stopped worrying that he was ever pushing Avery into doing sexual things. Avery had always been about safe, sane, and consensual—since the first day they met when sex wasn’t even on the table—so Colt wasn’t sure where that fear had come from. But their chat helped, and he no longer worried Avery wasn’t as into their physical relationship as Colt was.
“How do you want to get off, baby?” Colt asked.
“Like this, but no pants.”
They both raised up long enough to get their pajama bottoms off. Colt spat into his palm and helped smooth the way a bit for their cocks, then pressed against Avery again. Avery hitched his knees up, giving Colt a better channel in which to thrust. Something as simple as rubbing off together was an amazing gift because it was Avery giving it to him. His beautiful Avery.
My Sir.
As if sensing his thoughts, Avery nudged at Colt until they rolled, putting Avery on top and in control—exactly where Colt loved him the most. They thrust together, getting them both close, and then Avery stopped. He stared down at Colt with a lus
t-drunk expression, then bent to bite one of Colt’s nipples.
Colt yelped at the flash of erotic pain. “God, I love when you do that.”
“Do what?” He bit the other nipple.
“Surprise me. Keep me on my toes.”
“I’m happy to.” Avery gave a hard, slow grind of his hips that had Colt seeing stars. “Part of me wants to take you right before the party, come deep inside your ass, and then make you wear a plug for the duration.”
Colt’s balls drew up tight at the idea. “Jesus, you’ve got a dirty mind. I like it.”
“But do you know why I won’t do that?”
“Because our scenes are private, and Sir can’t relax enough at the party to enjoy himself if he’s worrying about my comfort the entire time?”
Avery’s face lit up. “Exactly that.” He kissed Colt lightly, just enough to feel it. “You really do understand me, pet.”
“I think I finally do. And if you want to do the whole fucking and plug thing after the party, I’m totally down with it.”
“We’ll see. Everything will come down to Violet.” Avery frowned.
Colt didn’t like that frown. “Hey, whatever happens, I love you. I am here for you and for us, no matter what.”
“I know, and I love you, too.”
Avery still didn’t look as happy as before, and Colt needed to fix that. He pushed Avery to his back, then slid down between his legs so Colt could try to suck all of Avery’s doubts and worries out through his dick. He rolled Avery’s tight sac and rubbed at his hole, while he repeatedly took Avery into his throat, working his Sir right to orgasm. Avery shot down his throat with a soft moan and Colt swallowed every offered drop.
“Fuck, that was amazing,” Avery said. “Didn’t expect you to do that.”
“Blow you?”
“Take over. It’s sexy.” He tugged on Colt’s hair, until Colt crawled back up the length of Avery’s still-quivering body. “I like it when you take charge once in a while.”
“I’m happy to switch things up.”
Avery clasped Colt’s hard cock and stroked him lazily. “How do you want to get off?”
