by A. M. Arthur
Colt hung his head, and Avery’s heart broke seeing him so miserable, but Colt had brought this upon himself. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have interfered, but—”
“No. Damn it, there is no ‘but’ in this, Colt. None. Fuck.” He grabbed his wallet and key card off the dresser, before realizing he had the added problem of still being naked. Avery yanked pants and a T-shirt out of his suitcase and shoved his body into them.
“Where are you going?” Colt asked, his voice so small it hurt to hear it.
“I need space so I can fucking calm down. I don’t want to keep fighting, so I’m going to take a walk. Please don’t follow me, Colt, I really can’t right now.”
Avery got his shoes on, grabbed his things, and stormed out, careful not to slam the door. He hated getting this angry, and he’d promised himself a long time ago to never lose his temper in front of his sub. And while they weren’t doing a scene, Colt was still his sub, and Avery didn’t ever want Colt to have reason to fear him. So he left.
He left, so he could have a fucking rational conversation at a later time without his anger clouding the air.
* * *
Colt stared at the closed hotel door, his heart sinking directly to his feet. He’d seen Avery pissed only a handful of times, but never this particular brand of pissed. Avery looked like he’d been completely betrayed, and it was all Colt’s fault.
Inquiring about the job had seemed like a smart move ten minutes ago. He’d done it mostly to satisfy his own curiosity, and he hadn’t made the decision if he’d share his information with Avery or not. But when he got the response that they were interested in Avery’s resume, Colt hadn’t been able to hide his delight from Avery.
That had been an epic mistake.
Shouldn’t have left the damned tablet open on the bed.
No, that wasn’t the real problem. The real problem was that Colt had known the rules, and he’d tried to bypass them. He’d broken Avery’s trust, and that had not been an easy thing to earn back. Would Avery give him a third chance?
Do I deserve it?
Yes, yes, he did, because Colt hadn’t tried to sabotage their relationship on purpose. He’d truly thought having the university information in his back pocket could benefit them down the road, but he also saw how he’d hurt Avery by going behind his back.
“I suck,” he said to no one in particular.
The walls silently mocked and agreed with him. He’d betrayed his Sir, and he didn’t deserve his forgiveness tonight. Colt picked up the small tablet of paper and pen every hotel room carried, and he started writing.
* * *
Walking around the block helped take the edge off Avery’s temper, but he couldn’t focus his racing thoughts. They’d agreed to rules going into this relationship, and Colt had tried to cheat those rules. That hurt. It cracked what Avery had assumed was a solid layer of trust between them, putting them back on uneven ground.
He stopped at an all-night coffee shop and ordered Earl Grey tea to try to calm himself down. A cute girl tried to approach him, but Avery was not in the mood, so he politely turned down her offer of company. He’d walked away from the person he wanted, but he’d done it so he didn’t take his temper out on Colt.
The biggest question he couldn’t find an answer to was: Can I forgive him for breaking the rules?
Colt didn’t have a malicious or manipulative bone in his body. He was a genuine soul with a kind spirit, but he was so reckless and impulsive, and those worst parts of his personality had sent the job inquiry. He’d probably believed he was somehow being helpful by providing information, but it felt like a trick. Colt found Avery a good position nearby, so how could Avery argue against moving?
Except Colt wasn’t that guy anymore. Maybe the Colt he’d dated five—almost six years ago, might have made that play, but not this Colt. Avery had chosen to believe Colt had grown up and changed, and he couldn’t allow that belief to waver. Instead of being angry, he’d go back and allow Colt to fully explain his rationale. They’d discuss it like adults. Storming off had been a bit childish on Avery’s behalf, and now that his actual temper was waning, he could see that now.
Avery left a tip on the table and returned to the hotel. Calmer now, he unlocked the door…to a dark room. Had Colt gone to bed already? Avery had been gone less than an hour. No, the light from the hallway showed an empty bed. Curious and worried, Avery shut the door and switched on the light. Checked the empty bathroom before he saw the note in the middle of the bed.
Dear Avery,
I’m so sorry for breaking your trust. I didn’t see what I was doing from your point of view, and I was wrong. I’m giving you the space you asked for and taking a red-eye back to San Jose tonight. I love you. I’m sorry.—Colt.
“Fuck.” Avery balled up the note and tossed it against the wall. The tiny wad barely made a sound as it hit the floor.
His temper roared again, because Colt had run. Just like after their first breakup, Colt packed up and headed for the hills, leaving behind an empty apartment and a bewildered, still-grieving Avery. And after one fight, Colt ran a second time, leaving Avery to pick up the pieces.
Is he always going to run? Things get tough and he’s on a plane?
Avery couldn’t live like that. He double-checked, but yes, Colt’s carry-on was gone, all of his things cleared from the bathroom. Avery stood in the center of the room and tried to catch his breath, because part of him wanted to burst into tears. Not only had Colt run, he’d left Avery behind in goddamn Texas.
He sank down on the edge of the bed and pressed his palms into his eyes. This wasn’t actually happening. Colt had not cut and run after one fight. He needed this not to be true.
The click of the door lock sent Avery to his feet, adrenaline kicking in, because who the hell was opening his—Colt.
Colt stood in the open doorway with his carry-on, his expression both tentative and determined. Avery gaped at him, confused and elated and frustrated.
“Can I come in?” Colt asked.
Avery waved his hand, indicating yes, because he didn’t completely trust his voice.
Colt moved in far enough to shut the door, then rubbed his palms against his jeans. Neither of them spoke.
“You came back,” Avery finally said.
“I did. Got to the airport, and told the taxi driver to bring me back. I couldn’t go inside without you. Couldn’t leave you behind again.”
Avery’s heart swelled with joy that he resisted feeling. “You still left, Colt. You ran away from me, and that hurts.”
“I know. I thought I was giving you space, but I realized that’s not what you meant, and I didn’t want you thinking I was running from us, the way I ran the first time, because I’m not.” Colt shocked him by dropping to his knees, his accent deepening with emotion. “I’m all in with you, Avery, and the thought of losing you kills me inside. I couldn’t walk away if I tried, and I am so fucking sorry for everything. I never should have inquired about the job, and I never should have left tonight. If you take me back, I will—”
“Shut up.” Avery sank to his knees in front of Colt and cupped his hot cheeks in his palms. “I’m all in with you, too, you big dork. Yes, I got angry, but I didn’t mean for my anger to drive you away. I understand why you thought the job inquiry was a good idea, even though I disagree. We’re going to disagree, and we’re going to fight. Every couple fights. But I need to know, going forward, that if I ask for space, you’ll go into another room, or let me go take a walk, but that you won’t run.”
“I promise I won’t. I’m done running.” Colt blinked back a sheen of tears. “I ran from my family when I thought they’d never accept me; I ran from you and my old job six years ago; I tried to run again after Mack learned the truth about Geoff. But I’m done running, because I have too much to lose. I love you, Avery Hendrix, and I want us to be together. Peri
od.”
“Even if we keep living apart for a while?”
“Even if. We’ve made it work for six months. I know we can do this.”
“So do I. No more secrets, no more running.”
“Secrets?”
Avery winked. “Colton.”
“Ugh. Isn’t Colt so much sexier of a name, though?”
“Sure is, even if the name-bearer is more of a wild stallion than a wobbly colt.” Avery reached down to hold Colt’s hands. “And in the interest of full disclosure, I have a confession to make.”
“Your name isn’t really Avery?”
“Dork.” Avery gave his hands a squeeze. “No. I reached out a few weeks ago to the department head at UCSF to inquire about any upcoming openings, and they have one for the fall. It’s a teaching and research position in the history department, and he’s given me first crack to accept it.”
Colt gaped at him. “Are you kidding me? You’re considering a job in the Bay area?”
“Yes. Like I said before, the decision to move has to be on the person doing the moving. Once I’ve defended my PhD thesis, I’ll have more freedom to consider a new position.”
“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” Colt pouted.
“Because I haven’t made my decision yet. I haven’t accepted the job. I have a few more weeks. I wouldn’t have to be there until August, so that’s another six months doing this long distance if I say yes. Which I haven’t.”
Colt looked like he wanted to climb out of his own skin with excitement, but he was doing an admirable job restraining himself, when he had to internally be screaming at Avery to accept the job. Avery loved him even more for not speaking up and trying to influence him.
“It’s your decision, babe,” Colt said. “You know what I’d say, so I won’t say it. I love you, and I’ll accept whatever you want to do. Promise.”
“Thank you.” Avery sealed that promise with a gentle kiss, glad to finally have that bit of news out in the open. “I promise you’ll be the first to know what I decide. Maybe I’ll even take a peek at the offer from San Jose.”
Colt perked up even more. “Really?”
“I might as well.” Avery winked. “Maybe they’ll offer a better salary.”
With a bark of laughter, Colt tackled him to the carpet in a hug, then kissed him soundly. “Whatever you choose to do, I love you. My Sir.”
“I love you, too, pet.”
Always.
EPILOGUE
Six Months Later
“Keep going, just a few more steps,” Avery said. He had his hands over Colt’s eyes and was slowly guiding his sub toward his surprise. They inched their way across the threshold and Avery stopped. “Happy belated birthday.” He pulled his hands away.
Colt blinked as his eyes adjusted, and then he let out a squeak of excitement over the brand-new spanking bench in the middle of the second bedroom. Similar to Avery’s first, it was a simple wood frame with padded faux leather and hoops for restraints. “Holy shit,” Colt said.
Avery had ordered the bench months ago, right after he’d made the decision to accept the faculty position at UCSF, so it would be ready when Avery moved into his new place. He’d managed to secure an affordable two-bedroom apartment in Glen Park with a year-by-year lease, and he’d purchased a foldaway couch for visitors, so the second bedroom could be a playroom. A playroom Avery was slowly starting to outfit with their favorite things.
New favorite things for the rest of the apartment, too, which Avery had officially moved into last weekend, with lots of help from Colt’s friends at the ranch. Wes had also enlisted Derrick and Conrad as volunteers, so the moving van emptied quickly, leaving Avery and Colt to unpack and get Avery settled. Avery had kept most of his belongings, leaving others behind, and he was giving Colt a chance to leave his personal touch on the place.
He always wanted Colt to know this was his home, too, and he’d given Colt a key the very first day.
Colt wandered over to the spanking bench and trailed his fingers over the shiny wood. “It’s beautiful. I haven’t been on one in forever.”
“I know. I can’t wait to break it in.”
“Me, too. Can we do it now?”
Avery laughed. “Not right this second. We’ve got all weekend.”
“True.”
Colt had gone to Arthur and Judson, and he’d negotiated to have a slightly longer weekend, getting off earlier on Saturday if he worked longer on Monday and Tuesday, and they’d agreed to it. Since he was frequently off Sundays, anyway, it gave Colt from noon Saturday until Monday morning to spend with Avery, either here in the city, or at the ranch if Avery wanted to visit.
With Avery new to San Francisco, they’d decided to stay here, so Colt could show Avery around more.
“Mack and Wes are in LA this weekend, aren’t they?” Avery asked while Colt continued admiring the bench. Hopefully he’d spot the inscription soon.
“Yup, premiere party is tonight, I think.”
The gay zombie movie Wes had filmed a small role for last fall had a premiere screening and party in Hollywood, and the pair had flown down for the occasion. It wasn’t a big red-carpet affair, but Avery could imagine the excitement of knowing he’d been part of a movie and was being celebrated for it. Wes had gotten several other TV guest appearances recently, and Avery was happy to see his career taking off.
“Any idea what he’s up to next?”
“Mostly hanging out at the ghost town doing reenactments until the end of September,” Colt replied. He’d squatted and was studying the side of the bench. “Then he’s got a guest spot on a new medical show that’s premiering in September on NBC.”
“Good for him.”
“He’s living his dream, just like us, and look at you being a romantic sap.”
Avery grinned. He’d had the bench’s builder etch an old-fashioned heart with their initials connected by a plus sign in middle. Like one of them had carved it into a tree while out on a picnic. “I thought you’d like that. It reminds me of your tattoo, and it’s our bench, no one else’s. Ever.”
“Just ours.” Colt stood and walked to him, slipping strong arms around Avery’s waist. “It’s completely perfect. I love it.” He dropped a gentle kiss to Avery’s mouth. “Have I mentioned recently that you’re completely perfect, and I love you?”
“Not lately, but it always bears repeating.”
Colt laughed. “And also so modest.”
“Of course.” Avery kissed him again, simply because he could. “So when are Brand and Rem coming again?”
“Next weekend. They’re really excited to be guests for the full dude ranch experience.”
“And to hang out with their big brother?”
“That, too.”
Colt hadn’t been back to Texas since his first visit, but he regularly chatted with his parents and brothers over the phone and in texts. His sisters were both standoffish, probably because of their husbands, so Colt didn’t want to push. He’d see them in a few months and at Thanksgiving. They both would, because the invitation had been extended to Colt and Avery.
It thrilled Avery to no end seeing Colt and his family coming together again after so long. His own relationship with Violet was tender, but no longer strained. They’d see each other less frequently now that Avery had moved, and he was okay with that. His life was with Colt. And while he and Colt still wouldn’t spend every night together, it was the start of a new life for them as a couple.
A new life Avery really wanted to make official.
“You make me happier than anyone in my life ever has, Colton ‘Colt’ Woods,” Avery said. He reached into his pocket for his other surprise. “I lost you once, and it nearly broke me, but the universe gave us a second chance. I won’t squander that. I want to share the rest of my life with you, if you’ll have me.”
&n
bsp; Colt’s eyebrows shot up when Avery dropped to one knee and held up a simple gold band. “Will you marry me?” Avery asked.
“Hell yes.” Colt yanked him up and into his arms, then kissed the breath out of him. “Hell yes, I’ll marry you. Damn it, you beat me to asking.”
Avery chuckled as he groped for Colt’s left hand. Slid the ring on the appropriate finger. It shined brightly against Colt’s tan skin. “It looks perfect.”
“You know, we’re totally cribbing from Sophie and getting married at the ghost town,” Colt said.
“Considering that ghost town is how we met again, I think it’s the perfect spot for a ceremony.”
“Mack’s gonna flip his shit. He always used to joke that I’d never settle down long enough to date one person, much less get married.”
“I guess we showed him. We showed ourselves, too, that we could do this if we wanted it badly enough.”
“Yeah, we did.” Colt toyed with the ends of Avery’s hair, which he’d allowed to keep growing and now hung several inches below his shoulders. “Is Sir happy?”
“Sir is very happy, pet. He’s going to marry the love of his life and spend the rest of their lives together making them both happy. Always.”
“Pet feels the exact same way. I love you.”
“I love you, too, Colt.”
Avery kissed his fiancé, happier than he’d ever been in his entire life. He had his PhD, a good job, a man he loved, and family to support them near and far. He couldn’t think of a single other thing he needed to make his life more complete.
“Hey, Avery?”
“Yeah, babe?”
“How would you feel about adopting a cat?”
Okay, maybe one more thing.
* * * * *
Acknowledgments
First thanks always goes to my wonderful editor, Alissa Davis. You help me polish and shine these books, and I am forever grateful for your feedback and encouragement. Thank you to all the readers and reviewers who have looked forward to this series, and who continue to follow me book after book. Extra big hugs to my Facebook reader group Pot O Gold for being a great group of people. Your humor and support keep me sane.
