The Unlikeable Demon Hunter Collection: Books 1-6: A Complete Paranormal Romantic Comedy Series

by Deborah Wilde

  We ran inside to the conference room where Bastijn was keeping a close eye on Benjy’s parents.

  Cisco motioned for Baruch to come into another office.

  Benjy’s mom Eun Ha was pale, her eyes glassy. Jung, his dad, wasn’t doing much better. He stumbled when he tried to get to his feet at Rohan’s entrance.

  Rohan hurried over to them, giving each a hug and vowing that we’d find their son unharmed.

  Bastijn came over to me.

  “How are they?” I asked.

  He launched into rapid, agitated Spanish, but caught himself mid-tirade at my look of confusion. “¡Discúlpeme! ¡Cristo!” He took a breath. “We gave them sedatives. I tried calling Ro the second I got off the phone with Jung, but it went to voicemail so I called Baruch.”

  “What do we know?” I said.

  “Pustema!” Baruch roared from the other room.

  “You need to see this.” Danilo poked his head into the room and motioned for Ro and me to come into the other office.

  A kitten with a snapped neck lay on a blanket on the desk.

  “Their place is warded,” Danilo said, “but the kid’s only five. The demon lured him out with the kitty.”

  Cisco held out a note. “This was stuffed in the collar. We’re not sure what it means.”

  It was a rough sketch of a square with a heart inside it. The words “sorry I missed you” were scrawled inside the heart.

  “Asha’s grave. It’s Hybris.” Rohan crumpled the note and dropped it on the table.

  “You sure?” Danilo said.

  “We’re sure.” I twisted my hands together. What had we brought about?

  “I’m not losing anyone else to her,” Ro snarled. “Nava, portal us.”

  “You want back up?” Cisco said.

  “No. We’ve got it.” From the icy menace in his voice to the rigid line of his shoulders and the deadly glint in his eyes, Rohan was a lethal predator, hell-bent on taking Hybris down.

  I snapped the men a small salute, took Rohan’s arm, and portalled.

  Cemeteries were creepy in the middle of the night. The artwork and gardens in this one only made for more looming shadows and places for monsters to hide.

  Hybris was filing her nails, carelessly sitting cross-legged on Asha’s grave. Her red hair flowed around her shoulders and her red trench coat billowed out behind her.

  Rohan bladed up instantly.

  “Ro–” I reached out to stop him, but he was too fast for me.

  He strode toward her. “Get your filthy ass off her grave.”

  “You’re more worried about ancient history than a little boy who’ll be dead within ten minutes?” Hybris cocked an eyebrow. “You’re no hero, Rohan. Not to anyone who matters.”

  “Just–” Rohan visibly tensed, trying to calm himself as Hybris flicked another shred of fingernail onto Asha’s gravesite. “Where is he?”

  He grabbed her by the collar of her trench coat, tracing the curve of her neck with the blade of his index finger.

  She laughed and flicked her hair off her shoulder to give him better access.

  My eyebrows shot up into my hairline.

  Rohan jerked her head back. “Tell me where Benjy is.”

  Tia was too unconcerned. Too certain he wouldn’t find her kill spot. Some demons literally did have to be taken apart to get at their kill spot, but while Rohan was more than capable of ripping her in half with his bare hands right now, the demon just looked bored.

  She flashed out, far away from us. “You’ll never get me, Rohan, and do you want to know why? I’m not your worst enemy. You are. Your self-destructive streak after Asha died, your inability to finish your album. You’ve framed yourself as the wounded hero determined to save the world. Do you know how much power I draw off all that lovely pride? I’m going to feed off you for your entire, pathetic life, and when the end comes, my face will be the last thing you see.”

  Rohan flinched and stumbled backwards. “You’re wrong.”

  Hybris laughed. “What? You thought you could escape by quitting music? That you’d beaten all the perils of fame? How sad. There will always be more temptations, and there will always be more ways for me to make you fall. Eventually, you’ll give in.”

  His eyes were wild with panic. “No.”

  Hybris spread her hands. “You’re only nervous because you know you won’t be able to last forever against me. At the end of the day, you’re the same person you were at fifteen.”

  To me, her words merely sounded like typical head games. Ro had heard worse, so the only reason he was acting this way had to be because of some magical influence.

  Was this how she’d gotten Gary to step in front of a car?

  I fired a series of lightning strikes at her, attempting to hit her flickering form as she dodged from tree to tree. “Let him go.”

  “I’m not doing anything. He’s fine. Alone with his thoughts.”

  Given the stark bleakness etched on his face, he was drowning in them. Neutralize Tia, snap Ro out of it, find Benjy.

  “Yeah, right,” I said. “You want to destroy him.”

  “True, but…” She stopped suddenly, her trench coat swirling around her legs and widened her eyes theatrically. “You think Rohan is my endgame?”

  “I know it. You have no idea how much compassion and love this man is capable of.”

  “Do you?” She looked genuinely curious. “Or do you just want to believe that because it makes you the person who saved him? Newsflash. You’re no savior either.”

  Her words lashed me, slithering inside me with an insidious whisper.

  I clapped my hands over my ears.

  Tia stood over Ro’s prone form. “He’ll never be able to destroy me, because he’ll never be able to forgive. I will always win where Rohan is concerned. Him and his revenge fantasies, trapped into believing that if he stamps out the offender, he’ll finally feel good. That his world will be this happy little place.” She caressed one cheek, crooning at him. “You lost your cousin, you lost your creativity, and now you’ll lose that kid.”

  “He won’t lose me,” I said.

  “No. You’ll do that all on your own.”

  She was right; I was a fuck-up. Why continue to live and torment myself with my existence?

  A choking rage bubbled up thick and black inside me. No. Hybris was nothing. She was no match for the righteous babes I was descended from and she wasn’t going to take me down.

  Standing tall, I reached inside me for all the wisps I could access, bound them to my magic, and poured all of it out toward her.

  My gold lightning was flecked with darkness, closing around Tia like fingers. “Where? Is? He?”

  “What are you?” she wheezed, her body spasming.

  “I’m your worst nightmare. You worried?”

  “Worried about you damaging some fragile business relationships of mine with this harassment.”

  “Then kill us,” I taunted.

  “Maybe that would damage some fragile business relationships, too.” She winked at me and slipped my magic net.

  Ro shook himself, coming to. He pushed to his feet, shaking with the effort, like he was being pressed against the ground with a heavy weight.

  “I’ll make you a deal,” Hybris said. “Stop chasing me for good and I’ll show you to the kid. Come after me and no matter where I am, I’ll drop everything immediately to make sure the little snot dies horribly. Your call. Tick tock.”

  Rohan hesitated, busy tormenting himself about who to let down: Asha or Benjy.

  I clamped my lips together so I wouldn’t yell our decision because there was no real choice here, but Rohan had to say it, not me.

  “Benjy,” Rohan said between gritted teeth. “I’ll kill you later.”

  Hybris laughed, seeming to grow taller. “Keep going. I’m getting such a rush off you.”

  Ro and I exchanged a look. I flicked my gaze to the demon and he gave a tiny nod.

  I slammed Hybris with the full po
wer of my electricity. Her body bucked and flew up into the air, bowed over backward like a string pulled taut.

  The second Ro reached her, I crashed her to the ground, but even scorched and brain rattled as she had to be, she blinked out a full second before his blades whistled past empty space.

  “Not even close.” Hybris popped up, standing on Asha’s grave, her left stiletto leaving a muddy smear on the stone.

  She was cut off with a strangled croak, Ro’s finger blades jammed through her throat.

  I’d portalled us to her.

  She cupped a hand to her ear, completely unconcerned with the blood burbling out of her. “Do you hear his little cries? Back off for good, or no kid.”

  She wasn’t anywhere close to being dead. The trachea kill spot was, sadly, simply a rumor.

  Rohan ripped his blades free with a curse, his features stark.

  Hybris flicked her fingers and, with a whisper of wind, opened a portal. A cluster of jagged, sawed-off stalactites hung down at the entrance like teeth in serious need of braces.

  “Have fun,” she said and vanished.

  We ducked under the stalactites and headed into the gloom. The farther we descended, the steamier the air grew. It smelled like rotting vegetation.

  I called up a ball of magic so we weren’t stumbling around in the pitch dark, but something in the air kept sucking the light out to the barest flicker.

  I’d never seen Rohan so grim, his body locked in some kind of death-march. He was still lost to his emotions, and I needed his rational brain back in control if we were going to get Benjy out unscathed.

  “Did you like the ‘I’m your worst nightmare’ bit?” I kept my words light, straining to see any release of his tension. “Because Hybris was pretty terrified.”

  Not in any reality.

  He remained silent for a moment before coming out with, “You realize that’s Batman’s catchphrase.”

  “Like I’d know that nerd trivia.”

  “You’ve Googled everything about him. And you know why?” He paused and then clapped his hands to the side of his head like the Bat cowl. “Because I’m Batman.”

  “No, you’re a majestic moose.”

  His look promised retribution. That I’d probably really enjoy so, there was that, plus he no longer was walking like he was about to snap. Those were the only upsides because the rest of this journey plumbed the depths of sucking balls. A ticking clock hung over us, the going was slow, and my portal magic didn’t work.

  The passageway narrowed. Fat drips fell on our heads, running under my neckline and leaving a slimy trail down my spine.

  Algae coated the floor. Ro skated along one particularly slippery patch, almost wiping out and taking me with him.

  We slid our way deeper and deeper underground. The wind turned phlegmy, the raspy, wet gusts reminding me of my breathing when I’d had pneumonia, while the ground beneath our feet rose and fell unevenly.

  I held my weak ball of light up to the wall. It had the squelchy consistency of mud, not rock, but was pink and fleshy.

  “Ro,” I hissed. “This isn’t a tunnel.”

  Rohan pressed his palm against it, the fleshy surface Hoovering it up. After a brief struggle, he freed himself with a wet gurgle.

  “What is it?” I whispered.

  He sucked in a breath. “Alive.”

  We crept forward, literally making our way to the belly of the beast. Every footfall sank into the spongy ground. Warm liquid rose until it swirled around our ankles.

  We threw our arms over our noses to block out the smell of half-digested food.

  My magic light cast a hazy glow over the stomach. The walls were soft pink, fleshy coils that glistened with a thick film of mucus. They pulsed with a faint pink light.

  There was no sign of Benjy. Had we fought with Hybris for too long?

  A rumbling noise vibrated up from our feet. The stomach walls contracted, the coils spasming and pulsing. Ro and I hung on to each other for dear life, trying to stay upright and ride out the convulsions. When it had settled down, except for the continued bronchial breathing, a weak whimper reached our ears.

  Ro froze, his eyes darting around.

  Most of Benjy’s tiny body had been absorbed into one wall, though his right leg from the knee down was still free, as was his bony left shoulder. The outline of his face pressed up against a filmy covering like he was wrapped in saran wrap.

  Rohan sprung forward, carefully slicing away the thin film.

  The second his face was free, Benjy started coughing, trickling milky mucus.

  I wiped his eyes and mouth with my sleeve.

  Benjy’s eyes were totally dilated. “It hurts, Rohan.”

  Rohan smiled. I hoped Benjy couldn’t see how forced it was. “I know, little man. You’ve been so brave. I’m gonna cut you out.”

  The ground bucked.

  Ro and I staggered backwards.

  My shoulder hit the stomach lining, sticking to it like velcro. My head was yanked back as my hair was sucked into the wall and gelatinous, slimy flesh slithered over my arms and legs, trapping me.

  A flood of pink liquid gooshed from the walls, soaking my feet and ankles.

  Rohan roared, thrashing. Every time he cut himself free, the flesh wrapped itself around him, grappling with him.

  The liquid rose to my knees.

  Benjy screamed.

  I let my magic loose. I was so tightly trapped that it rumbled around like a pinball on tilt between me and the wet flesh before the monster cave spat me free.

  I landed on my ass, in the warm, tingly goo, utterly drenched.

  Ro ripped himself free, jumping away from the wall and grabbing my hand to pull me to my feet.

  The entire stomach convulsed.

  Benjy’s face and shoulder were sucked deeper into the walls.

  “No!” Ro stumbled his way over the bucking ground and grabbed Benjy’s foot before that last part of him disappeared. He slashed at the walls, but the flesh had hardened into some kind of adamantine rock and his blades bounced uselessly off.

  My first blast rebounded off the rock and almost took us out. New plan.

  The liquid rose to our waists, swirling around us and trying to drag us under.

  I planted my feet wide, one hand on the slick walls desperately trying to keep my balance.

  Rohan kept at the rock, iron chips flying as his blades lost the battle, his face contorted in pain.

  Our magic wasn’t going to work. We were going to lose Benjy for good.

  Unless…

  My hand crept to the Bullseye pendant around my neck. Guaranteed extraction. No training required.

  I clutched the pendant. The Bullseye was a one-shot deal.

  So that was it, huh? Save Benjy now or save myself later.

  At the wall, Rohan was bloody and his blades were mangled, still not any closer to making a dent as the digestive enzyme liquid rose higher. Any second now the way out would be underwater.

  It was easy to be cavalier about the value of one life in the face of all humanity. But what about when it was one life versus another? When it was the life of a thin, pale child, whose glasses lay broken on the ground and whose foot was no bigger than my hand, against my own life?

  If I didn’t use the Bullseye before Lilith broke free, I could kiss my happily-ever-after goodbye.

  The stomach convulsed again.

  Rohan lost his grip on Benjy’s foot.

  Time slowed down to the naked desperation on my boyfriend’s face, a dirty Batman sneaker with blinking lights in the heel, and the solid weight of the pendant.

  Rohan was trying to regain his footing, though it’s not like I would ask his advice on who to save: his girlfriend or a little kid.

  It would be so easy to walk away. Say we’d done our best to help Benjy and keep this safety net in my pocket. I indulged in a brief second of a world saved and a long life fully lived at Rohan’s side, though ultimately, it was innocents like Benjy, like that little gir
l in Prague eating chocolate that I was doing this for. Embracing the darkness so they could have the light.

  Fumbling the clasp open, I dumped the Bullseye into my palm.

  Weirdly, it looked like a penny.

  In for a penny. I pressed the artifact to the rock right about where Benjy’s chest was.

  The Bullseye flared bright and shriveled in on itself, winking out of existence with a quiet pop. Failing to do anything.

  “No!” I beat at the wall. How the hell could it do nothing? What kind of bullshit magic artifact was that and how, in every goddamn possible way for this to have gone, had I managed to choose the one path where everybody died?

  All of a sudden, the stomach was silent and still. Even the air seemed to hang motionless. Then the world split apart.

  Benjy flew from his fleshy prison.

  Grunting, Ro caught him like a football to the gut.

  A hole opened at the opposite end from the passageway out and the floor tilted. Everything was being flushed out.

  Rohan hung tight to Benjy, who was sobbing but breathing, while I hung tight to Ro.

  We fought the liquid and the backwards pull, heaving ourselves toward the way out. No way was I going to be expelled from some demon ass. For every torturous inch we won, we lost two. I cursed whatever magic was keeping me from portalling us out of here.

  Sweat poured into my eyes and I felt like a brined turkey in this stomach fluid. I slipped, splashing down.

  Ro grabbed my collar and hurled me up into the passageway, slogging up behind me. Finally clear of the stomach, we sprinted for the mouth.

  My heart was in my throat, uncertain if we’d find a dead end with no way out, trapped by those jagged teeth. I was so slick with fear, that when I saw the pinprick of moonlight up ahead, my knees buckled.

  I tripped over my feet but kept going.

  The stalactite teeth pounded down with arrhythmic, bone-jarring thuds.

  With those deadly gnashers just missing taking a chunk out of the back of his head, I could barely watch Ro jump through with Benjy. I wasn’t worried for myself. I had my death sentence and this wasn’t it.

  I easily cleared the teeth, collapsing onto the cemetery lawn next to Ro who was holding Benjy, rubbing his back while he vomited mucus, but I scrambled up immediately at the sound of slow clapping, my magic at the ready.