The Unlikeable Demon Hunter Collection: Books 1-6: A Complete Paranormal Romantic Comedy Series

by Deborah Wilde

  “I’ve seen it firsthand,” Ari said.

  “The world needs both Rasha and witches in this fight,” I said. “Just like in any war, we need all kinds of abilities, all kinds of brainpower to defeat the greater threat. We need balance, peace, and co-operation between Rasha and witches, or humanity is doomed.”

  “Witches should have shown up before now.” This Rasha had Mediterranean coloring and a Spanish accent. “Not left us to be the only ones fighting. They have an obligation to use their magic as well.”

  “Get on that and mansplain it to them, Xavier,” Cisco said. “I dare you.”

  “Just because you don’t know what witches have been up to,” I said, “doesn’t mean they haven’t been part of the fight all along. We have, and believe me, it’s our power that is going to tip the scales.”

  I had more to say but was drowned out by the Rasha arguing amongst themselves.

  “Hey!” Everyone ignored me, busy discussing this turn of event. “Yo! Shut it or I’ll turn you all into frogs.”

  You could have heard a pin drop.

  I grinned at them. “Look. A female Rasha is one of those things…” I snapped my fingers a couple of times. “Like jumbo shrimp.”

  “All you can eat?” a blond Rasha called out.

  “It’s not an oxymoron,” Ari said over the laughter, “it’s just incorrect. A woman with magic is a witch. It’s reductionist to call her Rasha.”

  “You are such a nerd,” Kane said. He looked away before Ari could see his smile.

  “It makes sense,” Bastijn said. “Witches are the original hunters and the magic is passed down genetically, so why would any woman with powers merely be Rasha?”

  “Hey,” Danilo said. “We’re not ‘merely’ anything.”

  I patted his shoulder, relieved to note that my fingertips were no longer so much evil magic tainted as looking like I’d smudged ink on them. “I know, it’s hard being the most badass person around, but I’ve handled it well.”

  He tipped his chair back with a cocky grin. “My manhood is feeling threatened.”

  “Both inches?” Rohan said.

  The men hooted.

  “Stay with me, people,” I said.

  They didn’t listen to me, so Baruch whistled once more, shutting them up.

  “Right now, I have this window where I have mad power,” I said. “Let me use it for good. Let me be the weapon to turn this fight to our advantage. I can take out Mandelbaum’s men without any loss of life and I can stop Sienna. I want to stand beside you all and make this a better world. Are you willing to stand with me and my kind as well?”

  Rohan and Ari were the first to stand, followed quickly by Baruch and Kane and the Los Angeles crew. The rest of them varied in how fast they got up, but in the end they were all standing.

  I flailed my hands in front of my face. “Well, shit, boys.”

  I handed the floor back to Baruch and returned to my seat by Ari.

  He stared at my eyes, his mouth in a grim line, then he tugged his ear lobe. “Your mascara is smudged.”

  I wiped a finger under my eyes. “Shut up.”

  We discussed strategy for the next two hours.

  Baruch broke down what needed to be destroyed and what needed to be saved as proof to force Mandelbaum out once and for all. He assigned one of the Rasha to videotape every inch of the compound, a couple of others to find any sensitive documents, and the rest to find the demons or destroy dangerous equipment.

  Finally, Cisco begged for mercy. And beer.

  Rohan stood up. “After you drunks finish happy hour, my parents are putting on a spread for us at the main house. Meet there at six.”

  Baruch checked his phone. “Discussion with the rabbis broke up an hour ago and Mandelbaum left the premises, saying he couldn’t meet tomorrow,” Baruch said, “Assume he’s headed for the compound. We hit it up tonight.”

  “It’s a three-and-a-half-hour drive,” Kane said.

  “Meet at the trucks at twenty-one hundred hours.” Baruch paused. “Take care of any unfinished business.”

  “Kiss your loved ones goodbye,” Ari murmured as the meeting broke up.

  “I can’t call Mom and Dad,” I said.

  “Write them a letter. That’s what I’m going to do.”

  “I’m not writing you one, okay?” I crossed my arms. “Because, no.”

  “We don’t need letters. Whatever happens tonight, we’re gonna be fine. We all have each other’s backs.”

  Yeah, but I also had Lilith and if the power of her whisperings was relative to her growing strength, I didn’t have much longer before she was free.

  “I love you.”

  “Love you more,” he said.

  “Impossible and ridiculous,” I replied, repeating the phrase our grandmother had always used when we said we loved her more.

  He chuckled. “You have to survive because you still owe me a waffle breakfast.”

  I punched him in the arm. “I paid up months ago.”

  “Did not.”

  “Did so.”

  He shot me a smug glance. “Then you’ll just have to stick around and argue with me.”

  “Guess I will.” I cut a glance at Kane. “Are you going to write anyone else?”

  “No.”

  “You’re hopeless.”

  I went back to the bungalow I shared with Rohan. I must have started the letter to my parents a million times but in the end, all I was able to write was “I love you both and I’m proud that I was your daughter.”

  Leo’s letter was a bit longer because I rambled on telling her that if I was dead she should drown her sorrows in orgasms with Drio so I had some pervy thrills in the afterlife.

  Rohan entered and glanced at the envelope to my parents. “Ah. Yeah. Billie has mine.” He massaged my shoulders. “I checked the dark web and spoke to Leo. Hybris is public enemy number one. The demon realm has been closed to her. If the spawn don’t get her by the time we’ve dealt with the compound, we’ll marshal the troops and find her.”

  I licked Leo’s envelope closed and stacked it on top of the one to my parents. “If she’s stuck here on earth, I could do a location spell. We have the note she wrote. That should work.”

  “You want to do that now?”

  I placed my hands over his and shook my head. “No. She’ll still be around tomorrow. I want to spend this evening with you.”

  We had an hour before Maya and Dev expected us all for dinner. Lilith was quiet–hopefully all her threat uttering had tuckered the witch out–but she was still weak enough that I was able to put up a mental shield around the box for privacy, just in case.

  Ro led me into the bedroom which was bathed in pools of late afternoon sun through the filtered curtains. Our lovemaking was slow and dreamy, both of us relishing each languid touch, each murmured endearment.

  We spun out our desire until we lay limp in each other’s arms.

  Rohan nuzzled my neck, and when I wrote “Nava plus Rohan” with my finger on his chest, the smile he bestowed on me was happy and lazy, while his eyes reflected an appreciation and wonder that filled me to bursting.

  It was the perfect opportunity to tell him I loved him.

  Except once again there was a knock on the bungalow’s front door. I tensed, bracing for another demon-related disaster, but it was just his dad asking Rohan to come help him find a particular hat of his he was sure Ro had borrowed.

  More knocking.

  “Rohan?” Dev rattled the doorknob.

  “Seriously? Dad, wait. I’m coming.” Ro stole one last kiss and left me in the bed, grabbing his jeans on the way out of the room.

  It was three little words. Why was the universe conspiring against me?

  Dinner was a surprisingly festive affair. While the booze didn’t flow, since we were all too professional to get drunk before this mission, the conversation and laughter did.

  Rohan rolled his eyes when my reunion with Mahmud turned into a super over-the-top, play
ful flirtation, then dragged me away to introduce me to the newcomers. I heard an absolutely hilarious story from Bao and An, the Vietnamese brothers, about a naga demon and a stolen boat, discovered a shared love of the old kids’ cartoon The Fairly Oddparents with Wangombe from Kenya, and tried some delicious Israeli chocolate courtesy of Zvi.

  “Who’s the Hell’s Angel escapee?” I tilted my head at the lone Rasha I had yet to meet. His wild ginger hair was only slightly less bushy than his beard. Tattooed knuckles peeked out of the sleeves of his Harley Davidson shirt.

  Ro shot me an odd look. “Go introduce yourself.”

  The Rasha watched me approach through narrowed eyes. “Fait pas ta neuve, and say hello already,” he grunted.

  Only one hunter would tell me to stop being a princess in heavy Québécois.

  “Pierre!” I squealed and hugged him. “Look at you, Biker Boy. Figured you’d be more the cardigan-wearing type.”

  “Decriss!” he swore, swatting me away. “Like I’d wear that garbage.” He patted the seat next to him. “Sit down, hotshot.”

  “’Otshot.” I snickered.

  We got a lot of strange looks in the next ten minutes, nattering away at each other in French, one or the other of us guffawing at the insults flying fast and furious. Pierre also demanded an update on Hybris. He warned me to be careful bringing her in, though he agreed that spreading rumors so other demons would hunt her down for me had been pretty inspired.

  I glowed under his praise.

  He already knew Ro and Kane, and Baruch obviously since they were stationed in Jerusalem together, so I waved Ari over to introduce him. The two fell into an enthusiastic conversation about hockey–again in French, since I hadn’t been the only Katz twin educated in the French Immersion system.

  I couldn’t get away from the sports talk fast enough. My stomach rumbled and, thrilled I wasn’t queasy, I obeyed, beelining for the buffet.

  Between Maya’s Jewish and Indian sides, she’d provided enough food for a small army–or our bunch. If I wanted Indian, I could help myself to pakoras, samosas, tamarind chutneys, butter chicken, saag paneer, and fluffy Jasmine rice. I could go Cali local with fish tacos, an assortment of salads, farm fresh roasted potatoes or grilled vegetables with balsamic reduction, or satisfy my inner carnivore and load up on steak and sausages, with a side of pesto pasta.

  If this was my last supper, I intended to eat all the things. I’d already piled my plate high with yumminess when one of the servers brought out a humongous platter.

  I poked Rohan. “Is that fried chicken and waffles from Roscoe’s?”

  He looked pretty smug. “It is. I had Mom get some to prove to you how good it is.”

  Ro had waxed poetic about the stuff. I was amazed he hadn’t composed a song to the damn chicken. Unless “Rhapsody of You” was about those plump juicy thighs.

  I snagged a drumstick. There was no way it could live up to the hype.

  One bite and oh, how wrong I was. My breathing quickened.

  Ro smirked. “Admit it. I was right.”

  “I admit nothing,” I said through a mouthful of the crispiest, lightest, most mouthwatering fried chicken I’d ever tasted. I got a second plate and helped myself to two more pieces and two fluffy waffles, dousing all of it in maple syrup before sitting down on the nearest couch with my food arrayed in front of me.

  While Ari and Kane both seemed to be mingling, it was always somehow with the same group at the same time. Oh, how I wanted to see that finally reach its inevitable conclusion.

  And say “I told you so.”

  Raquel texted me to say she’d found the Tomb of Endless Night and I wriggled my hips joyfully. I was going to stop Sienna. And if that seemingly impossible event could come to pass, then maybe I’d even bully her into giving me a long life.

  “Who’s that?” Ro asked.

  I glanced up over him to answer, struck dumb for a moment that I might really get to be with this amazing man long-term. I ducked my head to hide my moony-eyed look and texted Raquel the coordinates and the approximate time we’d be at the compound. “Raquel. She’s got the Tomb.”

  He rubbed my back. “We’re in business.”

  Maya and Dev were circulating. They seemed to know a few of the Rasha quite well, like the L.A. contingent and Baruch. But eventually they narrowed in on us.

  Rohan moved over so his parents could sit down with us. I loved that he didn’t stop touching me just because they were there.

  I wiped off my mouth and hands, dropping my napkin onto my empty plate. “Thank you so much for dinner. I’m sorry I haven’t really seen much of you, just imposed on your hospitality.”

  Dev patted my knee. The linen fedora he was wearing was pretty cool and I could totally see Ro stealing it. “That’s okay. We know this was a working visit. Next time you’ll come to hang out. Maybe in a couple months when it’s not so hot.”

  Ro’s hand stilled for a fraction of a second, and I knew he was thinking of Lilith.

  I leaned against my boyfriend. “Sounds perfect.”

  “Next time bring your tap shoes,” Maya said.

  “She better,” Ro said. “Now that she has that new floor of hers to christen.”

  My breath caught. I could picture it so easily. Dancing for Ro at his place, him accompanying me on his guitar as it turned into a dance of another type.

  No one, not Lilith, not Sienna, and definitely not Mandelbutt was going to rob me of that future. “Have shoes, will tap.”

  “I’d like to see you dance in person,” Maya said. “The videos never do a performance justice.”

  “You’ve seen videos?”

  “Ro-Ro found them online and showed us. You’re very talented.”

  I blushed, more from the idea that Rohan had cared enough to share that with his parents than her compliment. “Thank you. It was my life.”

  “We’re sorry you lost that,” Dev said, “but we’re glad that path led you to our family.”

  What would have happened if I’d still been on track with my tap dream when I’d gotten my powers at Ari’s induction ceremony? Would I have come to resent my magic? My dancing? If I’d been at the top of my game instead of at my lowest, who would I be now? Because I really liked this woman, one with a deep purpose and a renewed, far more mature sense of self.

  A part of me would always grieve the future that could have been, but sitting here with Dev and Maya and the love of my life, I couldn’t have stopped the grin that broke free if there had been a gun pressed to my head.

  “Me too,” I said. “I can’t wait to spend more time with you both.”

  “Good.” Maya smiled. “That’s settled. Excuse us. We should check on our guests.”

  Dev stood up and offered her his arm. She gave him a saucy curtsy before letting him escort her across the room.

  It was the most adorable sight ever.

  Plus, they liked me. They really liked me.

  “You have good parents, Mitra.”

  “Yeah, they produced a top-quality kid.” He grinned at me and my heart did a little flip.

  We were surrounded by a few dozen people. There was no privacy, no romance, and it didn’t matter. I didn’t need a perfect moment to say this to him. I just needed him.

  “Rohan.”

  He blinked his golden eyes at me. “What?”

  “I want to tell you something. I–”

  “No.”

  I froze at the insistence in his voice. Tried again. “You don’t understand. I want–”

  “I know what you want to tell me and I’m not letting you.”

  I crossed my arms, magic sparking off my skin. All right, he didn’t love me, but was it so awful to even hear that I loved him? Did he feel guilty about his lack of reciprocal feelings?

  “You’re not the boss of me. I can say what I want.”

  Great start, idiot.

  “I can’t hear it if you’re saying it like some kind of preemptive goodbye.” He pulled me flush against him, bu
rying his face in the crook of my neck. “Say it tomorrow.”

  I’d shut down my magic before he could be injured. “Hmph. I might not want to say it tomorrow, you imperious bastard.”

  Ro flashed me his rock fuck grin, softening it into something so much more tender. “Say it tomorrow,” he implored me softly. “When it’s not goodbye. When it’s a promise for the rest of our lives.”

  He didn’t know that Lilith was growing stronger with each passing second, her siren croonings that my time of reckoning was coming, growing harder to ignore. My time was slipping away like grains in an hourglass.

  I mentally knocked that stupid hourglass onto its side. “Tomorrow,” I vowed.

  Chapter 29

  Three and a half hours was a long time to be crammed into a jeep with four men when everything on the radio was shit and there was zip to see out the window other than highway, desert, and night sky. None of it stopped my brain from churning at top speed about everything that could go wrong.

  Between Ari and I, we could have transported everyone there, but Baruch refused to let us expend our magic on that when we could suck it up and drive. Plus, we needed the armored truck in our convoy.

  The first hour wasn’t so bad. I sat up front with Baruch who drove, leaving Rohan, Kane, and Ari to squish into the back. I had full rein of the music, my edginess translating to me lasting about a minute on any given song, until Rohan started kicking the back of my chair, griping about the musical torture.

  We switched it up in hour two. I was now sandwiched between my brother and Kane, who did the grown-up version of “he’s looking out my window,” sniping, until Baruch threatened to punch both their lights out.

  Then there was hour three. Baruch was bear snoring in the passenger seat while Kane drove. Ari, still in the back with me and Rohan, stared stonily at the back of Kane’s head. Ro had fallen asleep as well and was making these adorable snuffling noises. Less adorable was his dead weight squashing me into the door and smushing my cheek against the window. My left side had gone numb but no matter how I tried to shove him, he didn’t budge.