The Unlikeable Demon Hunter Collection: Books 1-6: A Complete Paranormal Romantic Comedy Series

Home > Other > The Unlikeable Demon Hunter Collection: Books 1-6: A Complete Paranormal Romantic Comedy Series > Page 165
The Unlikeable Demon Hunter Collection: Books 1-6: A Complete Paranormal Romantic Comedy Series Page 165

by Deborah Wilde


  “Malik only wants him for his mind,” I said.

  Kane shot me a look dripping with disbelief.

  “Malik can’t compel Ari unless he kisses him, so how about a little trust for your boyfriend?” Leo said.

  Kane looked chagrined. Damn straight.

  Surprisingly, or maybe not, given the sheer number of magic-wielding women, the insides were pristine and the school was filled with the smell of baking cookies.

  Wait. I only knew one person who could make cookies that smelled that good. I ran down the freshly painted corridor.

  “Other way,” Ari called out.

  I pivoted, ran back the way I’d come, and hit a dead end.

  “They’re for everyone,” Ms. Clara said, in her breathy voice that was tinged with steel.

  A whip cracked, and some guy yelped. I sped around a corner and skidded into the kitchen, hoping to find her and Baruch in some kind of kinky disciplinary power play.

  White tiles gleamed behind Baruch, who sat on the stainless-steel counter blinking, his equivalent of smirking, at Wangombe, the Rasha from Kenya.

  Wangombe rubbed the back of his hand against his blue AFC Leopards football club jersey, as Ms. Clara wound the whip back up and placed it on the counter.

  “She warned you,” Bao, one of the Vietnamese Rasha, said. He wore a fitted white T-shirt and gray sweat pants with his signature bright red runners, while his brother, An, was his spiffy self in a moss green linen shirt and rust-colored linen pants.

  “My people!” I jumped into the middle of everyone, dispensing hugs.

  Ms. Clara got the longest one.

  I held her out at arm’s length. “Are you okay?”

  “Right as rain, doll.” She handed me a cookie. Then reconsidered and added a second one.

  “That is unfair and unjust,” Wangombe pronounced.

  “When you have to dethrone Satan, you can have two.” Ms. Clara winked at me.

  “Oh goody. Everyone knows.” Well, it would save me having to tell them.

  “Quelle bêtise as-tu faite la?” Pierre stomped into the room.

  “It’s not stupid. It’s practical,” I said. “C’est pas si tant pire. You get to kill a lot of demons and we install someone who wants our continued existence.”

  Cisco poked his head into the kitchen. “Hey, kiddo. It’s meeting time. You’re up.”

  Chapter 18

  I pulled back the stage curtain and peeked out.

  That night at the compound, there’d been almost forty men fighting alongside me. They’d initially escaped with Ari, but now there were barely twenty-five, along with about a hundred witches. The room was depressingly empty.

  Were these the only women Raquel trusted, or the only ones who’d answered the call to arms?

  “Where are the rest of our Rasha?” I said.

  “Sienna recaptured five of them. The rest?” Cisco shrugged. “They weren’t man enough to handle joining up with witches or couldn’t stomach working with a demon.”

  Ms. Clara carried her laptop with the whip coiled on top of the closed cover and sat down in the front row, presumably to take minutes.

  Some of the Rasha and witches around her glanced uneasily at the whip. Ha.

  Rivka, Catalina, Elena, and Shivani sat in a group. My refuge if the crowd turned on me. Not a hair of Shivani’s white bob was out of place, and her pink sweater looked very soft and very pricy. Elena had taken out her Monroe piercing, but she’d shaved more of her head which worked with her latest steampunk getup.

  I let the curtain fall back into place. “Did we lose those Rasha she didn’t capture to Mandelbaum?”

  “Connor, Mason, and Luca said they weren’t getting involved one way or the other,” Cisco said. “The other seven defected to the rabbi’s side.”

  “Damn it.”

  Rabbi Abrams shuffled backstage. “Navela.”

  I hugged him as tightly as possible without causing bodily harm. He was more wrinkles, beard, and old man knuckles than anything else, but otherwise appeared healthy. “Are you staying here?”

  “No. I’m going home. I’m on my way to the airport now, but I wanted to see you first.”

  “Are you sure that’s wise?”

  “Who can say? But I’m an old man and I want the familiar around me now.” He patted my cheek. “The first time I saw you, Navela, I thought you were the worst thing to happen to the Brotherhood.”

  I winced. Wow, way to drop that truth bomb on me right before I had to take center stage, Rabbi A. “There are those who would still make that argument.”

  “I admit there were growing pains. Many growing pains.” Rabbi Abrams winked at me. “But we came out of them stronger. You were exactly what we needed. I’m proud to have had a hand in your development as an adult. You’ve done remarkable things, and if other people disagree then they’re fools. You’re quite possibly the best thing to happen to us.”

  The grin on my face was a mile wide.

  “Now,” he said, giving my cheek another pat, “you just need to keep going.”

  “Can do,” I said. Maybe I could pull this crazy thing off after all. Maybe—

  “We talking or letting our asses go numb?” Danilo called out.

  Cisco pushed me out onto the stage. Yeah, no. I wasn’t about to stand up there like the principal. I sat down on the edge, my legs dangling over the side.

  “Hi. I’m Nava.” I held up Esther’s lighter, the blue flame small but strong. A murmur rippled through the crowd. “This was left to me by Dr. Esther Gelman. It’s part of the magical fire that certain witches have always kept alive. In the same way they’ve kept the fight alive.” I closed the cap of the lighter. “I don’t know that I’m worthy of her faith in me yet, but I’m trying and I hope that all of you will keep the fight alive with me, because this is a team effort. You can’t have a bonfire without the logs fueling it to blaze high, and Danilo, if you make an inappropriate wood joke, I’ll smack you.”

  He snapped his mouth shut.

  I gestured at the audience. “Take a moment to look around, because seriously? This is historic. For the first time, we’ve got witches and Rasha working together. A pretty great mix of logs.”

  It was historic, but it was also weird for me. It had taken a lot for me to trust even those in my inner circle and here I was inviting people in that I didn’t yet know. There wasn’t hope without faith and trust, and here was my moment of throwing down and believing that these were the people that would make sure we won.

  “We’ve also got half-demons who choose Team Human,” Leo called out, raising her fist in solidarity.

  “That’s Leonie,” I said. “She’s been my best friend since I was thirteen. I didn’t know she was a half-demon and she didn’t know I was a witch. Though to be fair, I didn’t know I was a witch either. The point is, we were free to be two people, two friends, without history and preconceptions clouding our judgment of each other. That’s probably not going to be the case here, because we’re all aware of the lines drawn between us, but maybe this is the start of a different world.” I surveyed the crowd. Still with me. “I don’t know what you’ve heard about me—”

  “Plenty,” Raquel called out.

  Laughter rippled over the crowd.

  “You’re Ground Zero,” a wiry Rasha with tightly cropped red hair said. He’d fought with us back at the compound, but I didn’t remember the waves of hostility toward me then. I dug around for his name. Grigory.

  “I prefer to think of it as being a girl with her finger on the pulse of many things.” I placed my hand on my heart. “And I’m grateful you’re here.”

  “With this mess you got us into, it’s the safest place to be,” Grigory said.

  I bit back my retort. He’d been imprisoned and Sienna had attempted to take his magic. I wasn’t going to fight with him, though I was happy to see Mahmud go over and speak to him in a low voice.

  “What’s our team name?” Danilo cracked his knuckles, defusing the tension. �
�Something good like Night Stalkers or Wild Crew.”

  “Could you be more testosterone-laden?” Elena said.

  Danilo shrugged. “I’m easy.”

  “And cheap,” Cisco piped up.

  Danilo crossed his arms. “What’s your suggestion?”

  Much as he had a knack for being the “dude most likely to get punched in the throat,” he also broke the ice. People started shouting out suggestions.

  A whip whistled through the air, ending in a sharp crack.

  The room went silent.

  “Hex Factor.” Ms. Clara sat back down, whip at her feet, ready and waiting to take more minutes.

  Leo snorted into her sleeve, while I pictured dead bunnies so I wouldn’t burst out laughing because Baruch was frozen halfway between horror and indulgence, which had the rest of the Rasha staring at him like he’d grown a second head. The witches just looked confused.

  “Hex Factor it is. Moving on,” I said. “I’ll recap everything that I know, so we’re all on the same page. Bear with me if you’ve already heard this, and if you haven’t, well, brace yourselves.”

  I spoke steadily for close to an hour, starting with Sienna taking all of the Rasha prisoners because she was trying to remove their magic, restore balance in the magic universe, and in so doing, close the massive rift that the demons had opened and return the wards between earth and the demon realm to their original strength.

  The main proposal that was floated involved gathering every single non-dark magic witch in the world together, something never before accomplished, to project a concentrated stream of healing magic into the wards, for as long as it took. More debate ensued about whether even that could fix them, so long as any of the witches possessed dark magic. Could we convince Sienna’s crew to give their dark magic up?

  Next, I moved on to the topic of Rabbi Mandelbaum, the Ring of Solomon, and his plans for opening the Gates of Alexander and ushering in the End of Days on Rosh Hashanah.

  “If the rabbi gets his hands on the Ring of Solomon before we do? What then?” A young witch with a number of facial piercings stood up. “He could bind Satan and make him open the gates.”

  “That’s not an option,” I said. “We must find the ring first and destroy it. Anyone ever heard of the End Zone? That’s the message I was given by a King Solomon scholar about the ring.”

  The crowd looked blank.

  “Okay, well, if you think of anything, let me know. I do, however, have another line of defense against the rabbi.” I told them that I’d formed an alliance with Malik, a very ancient and powerful demon. “In case you have any doubts about the insanity of removing one enemy from the throne, only to help another claim it,” I said, “know this. The Gates of Alexander are in the demon realm. Both Satan and Mandelbaum have a high tolerance for the expendability of humans in order to further their own agendas. Malik, however, believes in the continued existence of humanity.”

  “Sure, to feed off,” another witch said.

  “He’s a demon, not a saint. Look, we have no way to seal those wards up for good. Our best hope is restoring balance and tempering the damage that demons do. That includes putting Malik on the throne and keeping the Gates of Alexander firmly closed.”

  “Gog and Magog are so terrifying and deadly that the demons themselves have barricaded them behind warded-up gates,” Leo said. “Think about it. These are the demons that scare other demons.”

  “In the spirit of full disclosure, there’s another reason why I want Malik on the throne.” I clarified my situation with Lilith and Satan’s line of super-demons.

  There was a lot of sympathy in the room for me.

  “Getting the ring is my best shot to trap and kill Satan.”

  “How are we supposed to charge in to the demon realm and not freeze up?” A witch in a red hoodie asked.

  “Through as much exposure to demons as we can give you.” Baruch outlined the buddy system he and Raquel had refined, pairing up Rasha and witches to deploy them to cities most in need of help right now. It was accompanied by a punishing training program.

  “Training starts this afternoon,” Raquel said.

  The women groaned. One asked if it was too late to change her mind.

  “This is war, people, and we’ll do what we have to,” Raquel said.

  I tamped down on my smile because I didn’t want to undermine her, but Raquel was fierce. She was going to be a great leader.

  “Remember,” I said. “We’re not taking on every demon in the realm. It’s a huge place. Once we cross Hellgate, we’ll jump directly to court for a surprise attack on the demons there. Which admittedly are super powerful, old guard who’ve helped keep Satan on the throne for a thousand years, but there should be more of us than of them.”

  Baruch stood up. “Hunting is in your blood. You have more power than Rasha do. It feels like you’re starting from scratch, but you’re not. Between training and practical experience, I will have you ready. For the assault itself, everyone will be assigned to a group and given a specific objective. Mahmud and I will interview you to determine your strengths and weaknesses.”

  Mahmud waved to the women so they’d know who he was.

  More than a few faces lit up.

  Raquel rolled her eyes. “Fatima, we’ve got about a month. Is that enough time to create Hellgate on-demand and enter the realm?”

  A plump, middle-aged woman in a hijab consulted with a no-nonsense looking Chinese witch in a smart blazer.

  “We will meet that deadline,” Fatima said. “But what can we expect to face in the realm when we storm the throne?”

  I described the leathery winged demons that had attacked me the first time Satan had come after me, and the cow skull demon of Night of Fog and Monsters fame. “We’ll meet these ones for sure.”

  “The first ones you mention, the winged ones, are ashut,” Wangombe said. “But I have never heard of the other demons you describe.”

  “Get us all the information you remember on ashut,” Raquel said.

  “Their kill spot is in the membrane between their wing bones,” I said.

  “We’ll prioritize this for the information system we’re compiling,” Pierre said. “Everyone will have access. Kane, Leo, and I are building this. We could use all the help we can get.”

  “Coders especially welcome,” Kane said.

  Elena raised her hand. “There are old stories in Romania of demons that sound like that other one you described. Zire demons.”

  “Rasha, do you know of this?” Baruch said.

  The hunters shook their heads.

  “Our fight is more effective together than apart,” he said. “Can you find out more and give Pierre or Kane anything that will give us a tactical advantage, no matter how small the detail?”

  “I’ll call my grandmother,” Elena said. “She’ll know.”

  “I’d like to volunteer myself and Shivani to work on the information system with you,” Rivka said. “We’re too old to fight on a regular basis, but we know stories of demons and our history of magic. All knowledge is useful knowledge. We can comb through our combined intelligence for any clues to the ring’s whereabouts.”

  “Bien sûr,” Pierre said.

  I jumped off the stage. “I guess that’s everything.”

  “I have one more question.” It was Facial Piercing Witch again.

  I bet you do.

  “You have Lilith’s magic, which means there’s dark magic in you, too. If demons can’t use the ring, how can you?”

  “I still have my witch magic. I’m light and dark and I’m human.”

  A loud debate broke out.

  “Hey!” I held up my hands for silence. “I’ll test that I can use it on some demon before I go into the realm and if I can’t, I’ll work with someone I trust and they can bind Satan.” I had to pull Satan’s true name out of him, but I didn’t have to be the one who used the ring.

  I just really, really wanted to be. Losing my enhanced magic, not wielding
the ring, I was feeling less and less relevant.

  Ms. Clara shot me a concerned look and stood up. “I’ve arranged for lunch. You can begin the interviews and break into your groups after.”

  The meeting broke up. There was still a lot of chatter, but on the whole, it seemed positive. I’d lost my appetite, so I portalled to Dr. Markovic’s place.

  Ro and Drio were in the middle of an animated exchange, but Ro broke it off to grab me and swing me around. “Durukti!”

  “Uh, mazel tov?”

  Drio righted a stack of papers on Dr. Markovic’s desk about to topple over. “She’s a Hindu demon born of anger and violence.”

  “She sounds fascinating,” I said. “Let’s have her over to our first dinner party, babe.”

  Ro grinned. “She and Hybris were best friends until Hybris fucked her over royally and tried to sleep with her husband.”

  “Demon Housewives of Hell? I’d binge watch all three thousand seasons. Did Dr. Markovic happen to write this down?”

  “Dr. Markovic may have been a noted Solomon scholar here on earth, but in the demon realm he was an ‘official biographer.’” Drio did the quotes on that.

  “Ah. One of those prized, low-paying, under-pain-of-death jobs. Kind of like my initial work with the Brotherhood.”

  “And look how well that worked out for them,” Ro said.

  Drio squatted down, running his finger along one of the many overflowing bookshelves. “Yeah, well, let’s hope this works out, because I’ve had it with this bitch slipping through our fingers. I haven’t had this much trouble tracking since that gig in the Sahara. Fucking sandstorms.” He pulled out a thin book bound in a red wrinkly cover with the word “Durukti” embossed in white. “Markovic’s got dozens of other volumes like this scattered around here. Entire books blowing smoke up demons’ asses about how great they are.”

  “Tell me that’s leather.” I said.

  “Leather from the skin of baby ertu demons.”

  “Babies?”

  “They’re vicious little maggots,” Drio said. “The bravest demons compete to trap and kill them.”

  “He’s talking shit, right?”

 

‹ Prev