He gets up in my face and shoves a finger into my chest. “I’m looking out for you, baby brother.”
“You’re not,” I say, enjoying how his dark eyes blacken with anger. “You’re letting your pride get in the way of me trying to help. Look, my job will make a lot more money than your boat’s currently pulling in.”
He shoves me hard, but I get right back in his face and hold him tightly against the wall. “What are you so pissed off about?”
He pushes me off of him, and I take one last look at him before I head for the door. I’m not going to get anywhere with him like this.
“Nice talking to you, brother,” I throw over my shoulder as I leave.
Bella
After Tari and I leave the beach, I head to town for my work shift. I’m sunburned and dehydrated, so I stop at the small grocery store at the edge of the square.
I walk through the beverage section. I’ve just grabbed a bottled water when I hear, “Mirabella. I didn’t know you shopped here.”
Making a slow turn around, my gaze lands on my mother. She’s pushing a small cart in front of her.
“Hello, Mom. I didn’t know you shopped here either.”
Her eyes are puffy beneath all her mascara. “I don’t normally,” she says. “I like the specialty store over in Ludslow. Everything is prepared ahead of time; you just pick it up, and you’re done.”
I nod, remembering those dinners.
“But your father has insisted on eating fish once a week,” she says. “So there’s the fish store on Main, which is very fresh, or there’s this place. This is more convenient for me. I’m picking up frozen fish in preparation for next week when he returns from his business trip.”
I look at her puffy eyes again. “Have you been crying?” I ask her.
Mom backs away from me immediately. “Have a nice evening. See you next week.”
“Mom!” I chase after her and her cart. “What’s going on?”
“Mirabella.” Her voice is shaky, but she keeps pushing the damn cart away from me. “Please leave it be.”
“I want to help, Mom,” I say in as low a voice as I can muster. “Please let me help.”
“Next week,” she gets out in a choked voice. “We’ll see each other then.”
And she’s gone.
Something feels off.
My mother never lets her pain show in public. And she just did.
I pay for my water in the self-service lane, and then I leave the grocery store and watch for my mother’s exit.
She comes out a few minutes later, but a store employee is pushing her cart full of bags for her. They walk to her car together, and he loads her bags into the back.
She climbs into her car and pulls out of the parking lot. She never sees me lurking on the sidewalk.
I’m going to be late for my shift if I follow her. But tailing her home won’t help anyway; she’ll just kick me out.
So I turn around and head for the pool hall to clock in. Once I’m inside the cashier’s booth, I take out my phone and scroll through my contacts until I find her.
Dr. Marianne Thibbs.
Mom warned me to never call her therapist. She said it was breaking all sorts of confidences to do so. But the look on her face—I don’t know what else to do.
The call goes to voicemail.
“Dr. Thibbs, this is Bella Wesley. My mother, Lucy Wesley, is one of your patients, and I was calling to check on her progress. I know she had discussed changing her medications with you, and I understand all of this is confidential, but if you could please return my call when you have a moment, I’d really appreciate it.”
Because it’s summer and Lucky Bay gets a ton of tourists, the pool hall is already packed. I put my phone down and try to focus on my job.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Work keeps me preoccupied for my entire shift, and when I clock out late that night, Preston’s still holding court behind the bar.
“Tell anyone you see I’m still serving,” he calls out. “We won’t be shut down for at least another hour!”
“Have fun.” I head down the hall and wave at Guy sitting at the piano.
He nods at me. “What’s up, Bella? You look stressed out.”
Normally I’d never open my mouth to Guy about my love life. But I’m knocked off tonight, and the idea of seeing Ayden in a few minutes has me shaking.
So I step inside the lounge and stand by the piano while I fidget with the hem of my shirt. “I just can’t stand this tension with Ayden. Can’t stand the way we’ve been dancing around each other all summer.”
“Really.” Guy raises an eyebrow. “Looks like you can stand him pretty good. Looks like you have for a long time from where I’m standing. And the feeling’s mutual, by the way. He’s crazy for you, Bella.”
“How do you know that? He dates every available female in Lucky Bay.”
Guy leans his elbows on the top of the piano. “That doesn’t mean shit. What you two have is different, and you know it.”
“He just…he’s all I think about these days.”
Guy chuckles. “That’s all that matters.”
“How long have you been with Melody?”
“Eight years.”
“And you still like her? You don’t like secretly hate her but stay with her anyway?”
“No.” His eyes light up as he smiles. “I love her more now than I did when I met her. Drives me mad sometimes, but she’s the only one I want.” He taps the counter with his knuckles. “Don’t give up on love just because you saw a shitty example.”
Unexpected pain hits me at his words.
“You want to sing a little? Maybe some more practice for my dad’s party?”
“Sure. Sounds great.”
I turn back to close the door behind me, but Guy calls out my name.
“What’s wrong?”
He raises his eyebrows. “Time to unlock the door, Bella.”
I freeze. “Guy…”
“You’re ready. You may not think so, but you are.”
He pauses with his fingers over the keys, as I stand frozen by the door with my hand on the knob.
This is different than singing to a bunch of strangers in Portland; this is much closer to home and much more intimate.
And much, much scarier.
So I do for myself what Ayden would if he were here—
I dare you, Bella.
I take a deep breath and let go of the handle, and then I leave the door open as I walk over to Guy and take a seat on the stool next to the piano.
He nods at me and breaks into a cover of one of our favorites, a Don Henley classic. He plays, and I sing, and when we finish, he breaks into another cover.
I keep my back to the open door. I hear some cheering in the hallway, most likely from drunk customers leaving the pool hall.
After three songs, Guy glances behind me and covers the microphone with his hand. “You got yourself some fans, honey. How about we give them a real show, for one song only?”
My face must show the panic I feel inside because Guy chuckles. “There aren’t that many people. Just a few drunk stragglers who heard us as they went to leave. Let’s give them a great finish.”
I lift my chin. “Okay. Let’s do it.”
“That’s my girl. How about one of your originals that you’ve been working on—just give me the chords, and I’ll figure it out as you go.”
The first song to pop into my head is the one I wrote the night Ayden and I decided to take a break from each other. “I’ve got one that’s an easy three-chord progression,” I tell Guy. “It’s kind of a sad song.”
“I have an idea,” he tells me. “When you’re halfway, if you’re feeling up to it, spin your stool around and face the people that are listening to us. Deal?”
Thanks to my gig in Portland, I’ve faced an audience since the last night I performed in L.A. But tonight, in my hometown where everything is more intimate, I feel especially vulnerable. Visions of Trevor and Ma
x in the crowd race through my mind. I try to erase that memory and my mother pops into my head instead. The tight bun, receded eyes, and pursed mouth. Shit. I break into a strangled cough.
“I’ll try,” I promise Guy right before I start to sing.
After I get through the first chorus, I take a deep breath and spin my stool around. A small crowd is scattered throughout the room, some at the small round tables and others just standing with drinks in their hands.
My eyes widen in surprise when I see Tari and Peter sitting at a table in the corner. I thought they were already at the beach, but they must have popped by to pick me up. Tari has a big smile on her face, and she waves at me. I smile at her and then my gaze travels past them, all the way to the back. And my heart lurches into my throat.
Ayden’s here.
He’s leaning against the open doorway, hands in his jeans pockets, baseball cap pulled down over his mess of black hair. When I make eye contact with him, his lips part and his eyebrows shoot up as if he’s as surprised to see me as I am him. He locks eyes with me and doesn’t break the contact.
Shaking more from the lyrics than from the fact that I’m performing, I deliver the final chorus just to him.
Wild boy,
I’m wild for you,
Good man,
I’m good for you.
Wish we could see it
Like they do,
Dream big,
My heart’s with you.
I’m so thrown off I stumble through the rest of the song, call out a thank you to Guy, and scramble off the stool and over to Tari and Peter. Peter gives me a high-five as Tari wraps me up in a hug.
“You sounded so great up there!” she says.
I hardly hear her. I’m too busy trying to subtly crane my neck so I can check out Ayden.
“What the hell are you looking at?” Tari says as she turns too.
“No.” I tug on her arm. “Don’t look there. Ayden’s back there.”
“Ayden’s here? But he said he was going to meet us at the beach. Where…” She trails off and covers her mouth with her hands.
The tap on my shoulder startles me, and I whip around.
Ayden grins as he takes a seat in the chair next to me.
“Hey,” I say softly.
“When’d you start singing here?” he asks.
“Tonight was the first time I sang for any of the customers. I’ve been practicing privately with Guy for a little while.”
Ayden puts his hand on my thigh. “You looked amazing.”
The heat from his hand burns through my jeans, and I catch eyes with Tari, who tries to stifle her laugh.
Ayden catches himself, and his cheeks flush. “You sounded amazing too,” he says as he keeps his hand on my leg. “Was that last one an original?”
I take a deep breath. “Yeah. It’s new. I wrote it…recently.”
Ayden’s dimple deepens. “I like it.”
“I’m glad.” I inch closer to him.
His eyes are glued to mine, and my pulse takes off.
When Guy calls into the microphone that he’s closing up the lounge, Peter stands up. “Let’s head to the beach.”
Tari and I hang back as the four of us walk through the square and across the docks to the sand.
“Wow,” Tari whispers in my ear. “Your performance was like a love potion for that boy.”
“That song I sang,” I say to her quietly. “It says too much. It’s called Wild Love as if that isn’t obvious.”
“And Ayden ate up every word of it,” she assures me.
Before I can answer her, Peter and Ayden have stopped on the flat part of the beach right by the ocean.
Ayden removes his hat and unzips his hoodie. Tari takes off her overshirt and cut-offs, leaving her in a cami and boy shorts. And Peter’s dropping his shorts and sliding out of his sneakers.
“No,” I say automatically, knowing what’s coming next. “The water’s always so cold at night.”
“Come on.” Ayden takes off his t-shirt and my gaze lands on his chest.
Good Lord, Ayden’s fit. His body doesn’t have an ounce of fat. He’s all muscle, and he seems to always be tanned. I know he sometimes landscapes shirtless, but that’s got to be a God-given gift, the ability to be constantly tanned in Maine.
“Bella.” He’s staring at me, and I jerk my gaze up to his eyes. “You’re swimming, right?”
I look out at the water. Tari and Peter are already waist deep. “It’s not that bad, Bella!” she calls out.
“Liar!” I say to her.
But I take off my shirt. Ayden’s still watching me, his mouth turned up in a grin. “Quit it,” I say to him, gesturing him away with my hand.
He drops his jeans off his hips and puts them in a pile with the rest of his clothes. Wearing only a pair of mouth-wateringly sexy boxer briefs, he turns away and heads into the ocean. As I watch his ass while he walks away from me, standing there by myself in the half moonlight, I wonder if he’s ever wanted me as desperately as I want him right now.
I slip off my shorts and sandals and head for the water.
By the time I get my first toe in, Ayden’s already dove underneath a wave. When he emerges from the water, I nearly hurl my body at him.
He looks like a freaking God, all dripping wet and with his briefs clinging to every important part of him. His mouth quirks up at my obvious ogling.
“Dive in with me,” he says. “The water feels great.”
“Then why are you shivering?” I ask him, reaching out to touch his chest. My hand feels warm against his wet body.
Ayden puts his hand over mine, and I can feel his heart pounding hard. But I take the plunge. I kneel down till I’m half wet. And before I can allow myself to think too hard, I duck my head and dive in.
At first, it’s so cold I get head-freeze. But then I start to feel the warmth underneath the cold, and I keep swimming.
Ayden swims alongside me until we reach Tari and Peter on the sandbar.
“I should have brought the beer cooler out here,” Peter says.
“Are you crazy?” Tari and I say at the same time.
Peter laughs. “Just wanted to hear you both say that again. That’s four years in a row, I think.”
The four of us splash around for a while until Ayden turns to me and says quietly, “Come with me?”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
We swim to shore, and Ayden hands me his hoodie. I put it on and we walk along the beach for a few minutes in silence. No one’s around, and the moon is just bright enough to see our way without a flashlight.
When I realize where we’re going, I shriek. “The tidal pools?”
Ayden’s dimple flashes. “Is that okay?”
I immediately scoot closer to him. He puts his arm around me and draws me into his chest. “Of course it’s okay,” I say. “I love the pools.”
After Ayden’s father died, Ayden was so sad, and I didn’t have a clue how to help him. I did the first thing I could think of; I asked him if he wanted to take a walk. We left his house and walked to the beach. We kept going until we found the tidal pools. They only exist at low tide after the waves fill up the empty divots of sand, and they’re the stillest bodies of water I’ve ever seen.
We made up our own game that day, a way for Ayden to express his pain when he didn’t know how. I asked him questions, and if he didn’t want to share, he’d duck. If he wanted to tell me something, he said “truth.”
But we didn’t just come here after Mr. Wild died. We came here after my dad’s first affair, when my mother checked herself into her bedroom and locked the door for over a week, only to come out for food and wine. We came here when I returned from L.A., and I found out my mother was far worse off than she’d been when I left.
As soon as we reach the pools, I immediately walk to the edge of the water and dip my toe in.
“Take off my hoodie,” Ayden says, his eyes glued to my chest. “You’ll regret it afterward if you don’t.”
His voice hitches, but knowing he’s right, I slip out of his hoodie. Feeling exposed in just my lacey white bra and matching underwear, I swallow as I throw Ayden’s hoodie toward him. He catches it in one hand and lays it on a rock, his eyes never leaving mine.
Before he can catch too much of a show, I step out into the pools until I’m in up to my waist. Then I sink in up to my shoulders. Immediately, I feel a release of pressure in my head, just like I always do whenever Ayden and I come here. I feel freed from daily stresses, if only temporarily.
“I hope you already know this, but in case you don’t—you have the world’s hottest body,” Ayden says as he joins me in the water.
I’ve always been on the thin side, more athletic-looking than super curvy. My breasts are fine but average-sized, and other than my naturally long, slender legs, I’ve never thought too much about the rest of me. At Ayden’s compliment, one he’s never paid me before, I immediately cross my arms over my chest.
“Don’t be shy,” he says in a serious tone. “I’m just speaking the truth.”
I pray my voice will sound even when I answer him. “Thank you.”
He shrugs casually. “So, are you ready to play?”
“I’m not sure.”
His mouth twitches. “Well, too bad. That’s what we do out here, right? We call each other out on our shit?”
“We always have.”
He fixes his gaze on me with a force that gives me chills. “You’re still a star up there, Mirabella Wesley.”
I try to look away from him, but he takes my chin in his hand so I can’t.
“I’m dead serious, Bella. I heard you singing from outside the room. It’s been a long time, but I’d recognize your voice anywhere.” He trails off as I swallow. “You were amazing. I’m just happy for you.”
I slip my arms around his wet body. “I wanted to tell you.”
“I don’t mind the secrets.”
“I guess I felt so much pressure and scrutiny, as it was, from myself.” I take a deep breath. “Ayd, I’m sorry about what happened on my front lawn. I feel like I could have handled things much better.”
He stares at me in the moonlight. “I sure as hell could have. We kind of ran scared.” His voice is warm like whiskey. “Am I right?”
Ayden Page 12
