by Lori Ryan
It seemed as if the group held a collective breath. Andrew looked down at Jill, who stood biting her lip. “I’m game, if you are,” he said and the grin on his face was wide and easy.
“Oh, thank heavens,” Jill said as she sagged against him with relief.
“Jill?”
“Yeah?” she answered, her voice muffled against his chest.
“You already told them yes, didn’t you?” Andrew asked with a laugh, and the rest of the group laughed with him when Jill nodded her head against his chest.
“I’ll take care of the flight,” Kelly said turning toward the house. Mrs. Poole followed, letting them know she’d book a hotel.
“Call the Towers, Mrs. Poole. Let them know to reserve a room for an open-ended stay for my friends. The manager there is Paul Grandon. He’ll set everything up,” Gabe said.
She called out a thank you over her shoulder as Jill explained that she and Andrew would likely have to be in Houston for at least two weeks, and possibly longer if the twins needed further care. They were in the NICU at the moment because they were born four weeks premature, but the agency had said that no major complications were expected at this time.
As PJ watched the group, feeling like an outsider, she was struck by how quickly and easily all of them pulled together to help when Jill and Andrew needed them. She suspected any of their friends would get the same treatment if they found themselves in need of support. But, it also made her realize that some of her decisions thirteen years ago hadn’t been wrong.
Yes, she’d slept with a man she had no business being with, and she’d done it at an age when she was far too young to take responsibility for the outcome of their actions. But the choices she’d made since then were all good ones.
As soon as she’d found out she was pregnant, she had gone to her parents. She quit drinking, and she’d made the heart-wrenching decision to put her baby up for adoption. Whoever it was that was tormenting her now, whoever had her journal…. They were wrong. She didn’t need to pay for that decision. It had been the right one.
Watching Jill and Andrew and the love that already shone in their eyes for two babies they had yet to meet, it was clear. Sometimes adoption was the right choice. These twins would have a wonderful life with loving parents. They would be safe and cherished and loved.
And Matthew had been given a wonderful life with her Aunt Susie and Uncle Brian. Letting them adopt Matthew had been the best decision she’d ever made. Whoever her tormenter was, he had asked if she thought her baby cried himself to sleep at night and how she felt about that.
And, she’d let it get to her. Briefly. But no longer. She knew Matthew had never been without Brian and Susie’s love and care. She knew he had a better life than she could ever have given him as a teenage mom.
Her gut still clenched at the thought of that information getting out, though. They hadn’t told Matthew she was his birth mother yet. He knew he was adopted, but he thought she was just his cousin. She didn’t want this person to force Brian and Susie to tell him before they were ready to—before Matthew was ready to hear it.
And she didn’t want to even think about the changes that would come to his stable life if that information was released before they were ready. He’d be hounded by the paparazzi and thrust into the limelight right after receiving the shock of a lifetime.
No, she thought. She couldn’t let that happen. She’d do anything, pay anything, to stop the truth from getting out.
Chapter 10
Gabe watched for any chance to slip PJ’s phone away from her, but she kept it in her pocket the whole time they were at Jack’s. Toward the end of the party, he slipped away and grabbed Chad.
“I haven’t been able to get her phone. You said there’s something you can upload to my phone?” Gabe reminded Chad when they were alone in Jack’s home office.
“Sure. I need to load some firmware onto your phone, but you’re still going to have to find out what carrier she uses for her cell service, and it will only work when you guys are within range of the same base tower.” Chad took Gabe’s phone and attached it to Jack’s computer with a USB cable, then put in the password to unlock the computer. “You sure you want to do this?”
Gabe nodded, his jaw set. If she wouldn’t tell him what was going on, he’d find out. No way was she dealing with this on her own.
Chad rolled his eyes and mumbled something about ‘dumber than a post’ under his breath, but his fingers began flying over the keys as he pulled up whatever illegal firmware he needed to make this happen. When he’d finished, he pulled the cord out of the phone and handed it back to Gabe.
“Call me when you find out what carrier she uses and I’ll walk you through the rest.”
Gabe ignored the guilt needling him and went back out to find PJ.
Later that night, a casual question about possibly changing his cell phone carrier got Gabe the information he needed. The following morning, he read the first of PJ’s text messages for the day. He wasn’t able to see the texts she’d gotten prior to that point. And so far that day, all she’d received was a text from Ellis checking to see how she was doing.
Gabe had met Ellis once or twice. He wasn’t a very memorable guy, but since he was part of PJ’s team, Gabe had made a point to remember him. He was small and mousy, often taking way too much crap from Lydia, but he was fiercely loyal to PJ. Gabe had to give him that.
PJ texted back that she was fine. Just trying to relax.
Gabe slid his phone under his chair on the patio when he saw PJ open her bedroom door and walk toward him through the kitchen.
“I thought maybe we’d go out on the boat today,” Gabe said, smiling at her.
“I didn’t pack a bathing suit,” PJ said glancing toward the dock where his sailboat bobbed lazily on the water.
“I’ve got extras. I’m sure I can find something horribly skimpy that’ll let me get cheap thrills all day,” he said and grinned at her.
Playing with fire, jackass. For whatever reason, Gabe couldn’t stop himself from feeding the sexual tension between them. Not that it really needed to be fed. It was alive and kicking and doing quite well on its own.
He watched her face flush with heat and smiled to know he’d put that color there. She had been even quieter than usual after the party yesterday, and he wanted to find a way to put a smile back on her face, and keep it there for a while if he could.
When they stepped onto his boat an hour later—picnic basket, towels and sunscreen in hand—she still looked tense and stressed. He hoped he could get her to relax and forget what was happening on Facebook and Twitter. He’d been checking social media sites all day and the journal entries had gone viral.
Everyone had an opinion, but he was glad to see there was a huge chunk of people supporting her. A lot of people realized what happened with her former manager wasn’t her fault. The blame should be put at his feet, not hers.
But, the stress of the situation was evident on PJ’s face. He stowed the picnic basket under one of the bench seats, then grabbed two bottles of water. They left the dock and set sail once PJ had settled in.
She seemed content to sit quietly, her face turned to the morning sun as he raised the sails. His boat was small enough to allow him to handle himself, and he had them skimming over the open water in no time.
He’d always loved the way the wind hit his face, the slight tinge of the salt mixing with the sun relaxed him like nothing else could. Maybe it could do the same for her.
When he reached their destination in a quiet cove, Gabe lowered the anchor over the side of the boat, grabbed their picnic basket and sank down onto the seat across from her. He wanted to sit next to her.
Hell, he wanted to pull her into his lap and devour those lips that had been driving him mad since the kiss they shared a few nights ago. He couldn’t get the taste of her, the feel of her, out of his head. He wanted more of her. A lot more.
But, he’d settle for talking to her for now. Maybe someda
y, down the road…. It occurred to him that he’d been saying that for a long time where PJ was concerned. But he had to be brutally honest, now really wasn’t a good time for her. Her world was crumbling. She didn’t need him hitting on her right now.
He would hate it if she thought he assumed she was easy because he’d seen all the reports of her sleeping with Mondo. That she’d have no problem putting out for him the way she did with Jimmy. The thought made him wince.
“So, when was the last time you took a vacation?” he asked her as he unwrapped the sandwiches and handed one to her.
She smiled, and the warmth of it cut through him. “Not for years, really. It was a complete fluke to have six days off like this. And, even when I have had time off recently, I haven’t gone anywhere except back home every once in a while.”
“What family do you have back home?” he asked.
“My parents, and my Aunt Susie and Uncle Brian and their son Matthew.” Gabe thought he saw a little bit of a cloud fall over her face at the mention of her family, but it disappeared as quickly as it had shown up, and he wasn’t sure if maybe he’d just imagined it. She took a bite of her sandwich and a swallow of water.
“Do you still have a lot of friends back home?” he asked.
“A few,” she said, but her face was sad again. “Nothing like the friendships you guys have here. It was really amazing to see how quickly everybody gathered around Jill and Andrew yesterday. How everyone jumped in to help them without any hesitation at all.”
“You don’t have friends who would do that for you?” Gabe asked and then wanted to kick himself as soon as the words were out.
PJ hesitated. “Honestly? I’m not sure anymore. It’s not easy making friends out on the road, and the friends I had back when I started my career have such different lives now. I was fifteen when I left to go on tour. They have husbands and families. They’re on a completely different path than I’m on.”
Gabe nodded. He knew exactly what she meant. He’d been watching his friends build lives here while he was out on the road, stopping in from time to time. If it was possible, he was pretty sure PJ traveled even more than he did.
“Do you think you’ll want to retire soon?” he asked.
PJ brushed her hair back from her face and looked back out toward the water. “I’ve thought about it some lately. Honestly? I just don’t know what I want to do anymore. You know? I usually have songs playing in my head, things I’m working on. I haven’t heard anything there for three days. It’s like the music has just stopped playing in my head, and it makes me wonder if maybe there’s just some… expiration date. Maybe I’ve hit mine.”
“You started pretty young and you’ve had a long career already,” Gabe said. “Do you think you want to do something else? Manage other singers? Start a family?”
Again, he saw the shadow fall over her face, and he had to wonder if she wanted a family more than she let on. She never did answer his question. She stared out at the water and was quiet the rest of the ride back as he packed up lunch, caught some wind in the sails and brought them back to the dock.
Gabe held out his hand to her as they stepped off the boat and then held it all the way up to the house. PJ knew she shouldn’t do it, but she couldn’t help it. She couldn’t help wanting to kiss Gabe again, even after his rejection the last time. She didn’t want to be trapped inside her head, obsessing over who had her journal and whether they would ever release all the truth or just make her suffer forever. She didn’t want to feel the way she was feeling anymore.
She tugged at Gabe’s hand, pulling him back to face her when they reached the patio.
He turned, a question in his eyes, but she just wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down close, close enough that when she stood on her tiptoes she could reach his mouth.
She let her fingers thread through his hair as she brushed her lips against his, and heard him drop the picnic basket next to them.
He let out a fierce groan as she deepened the kiss, but he didn’t kiss her back. Please, please don’t reject me. She knew she couldn’t handle his rejection now. She didn’t care if it was a pity screw or just friends with benefits, or whatever.
But, she knew she wanted to be closer to him—to escape. To feel something else right now. To feel him. His hands on her. His mouth on her. Him inside her.
Gabe broke away and looked at her, heat and desire smoldering in his eyes, but she also saw confusion, conflict. “Are you sure, Pru? You don’t have to do this for me. I don’t need this from you. Not now.”
“But I do,” she said. “I need this from you.”
She had only just gotten the words out of her mouth before he pulled her against him, assaulting her mouth with his as if he’d been waiting, tethered—dying to be released. As though she’d just cut the last rope that bound him.
He controlled everything about their kiss, lifting her off the ground and walking through the house as his mouth traveled down her neck and across her shoulders. PJ’s body was on fire as his mouth explored her, and she no longer had a thought or a care in her head. She had only this. This moment. This feeling. This escape.
This incredible, desperate escape.
Gabe nudged his bedroom door open and brought her to the bed. He lowered her down, his own body following to press her into the bed with his weight. The feel of him on top of her was everything in that moment—and she reveled in it.
In her heart she knew she couldn’t hang on to this beyond today, or maybe tomorrow. Even as he kissed her passionately, she knew that when it was time to go back to her real life, she’d need to let him go. But, she wanted this. She wanted today and tomorrow. Consequences be damned.
Gabe pulled back from her and trailed his hands down her sides, letting his fingers graze the side of her breasts, then along her rib cage, down her hips. The fire that burned through her settled tight and achy between her legs, and she wanted him to slow down and speed up all at once.
“God, you feel incredible, Pru.” His voice was ragged with need and PJ pressed her hips up toward him, wanting him to touch more. She wanted him to take off the scraps of fabric he called a bikini and put his hands and mouth on her there.
Then she heard a faraway voice calling to her and felt someone shaking her arm.
Leave me alone. As soon as she thought the words, she wondered why on earth someone would be in the bedroom with her and Gabe. But, the words came again. “Pru...? Wake up, Pru.”
PJ opened her eyes. Gabe was shaking her awake on the boat. She looked into his dark brown eyes and had a quick flash of panic, as she wondered if she’d been moaning and writhing in her sleep, just as she’d moaned and writhed in her dream. She felt a flush creep up her cheeks, but he didn’t bat an eye. Just smiled at her.
“We’re back at the dock, Pru. You fell asleep, so I figured we should head in so you can rest in your bed where you’ll be more comfortable. Then, maybe we can throw a hat and sunglasses on you and head out for dinner somewhere in town.” He spoke easily, so she figured maybe she’d kept the content of her dreams under wraps as she slept.
“Sounds good,” she said, sitting up and slipping her flip flops back on her feet. She tried to push the image of Gabe, above her in his bed, out of her mind. She couldn’t even look him in the eye as they stood and he helped her climb from the boat.
The way he took her hand in his was too close to the way her dream began. PJ pulled her hand from his as soon as her feet hit the dock. She kept her head down as they walked up to the house and then took his suggestion to go to her room to nap.
Just as she was about to get up and take a shower, her phone rang. PJ picked it up and felt her stomach clench at the sight of a number she didn’t know on her screen. She closed her eyes as she answered, though she didn’t really know what she hoped to accomplish by doing that.
“Hello?” she said cautiously.
“You little tramp. Who the hell do you think you are? Is this a publicity stunt, PJ? Your career
was drying up so you thought you’d go for sympathy?” She knew the voice.
It was the same cold, angry tone Jimmy Mondo had used on her years before when he’d told her to abort their baby. To take care of the mess she’d made, as he’d put it.
PJ disconnected the call, and with shaky hands, turned off her phone. She couldn't keep it off long. Not if there was a chance the guy with her journal would text with his demands. His last texts implied there was something she could do to redeem herself in his eyes or some amount of money she could pay to keep her secret.
Hopefully, Jimmy would quickly get over his need to scream at her, and she could turn her phone back on to wait for the demands from her blackmailer.
She rolled over on her side and pulled her knees up to her chest, hugging herself tightly. She wanted, more than anything, to tell someone what was going on, but who could she tell? Her parents had dealt with too much already. She had told her aunt and uncle, but they needed to help Matthew through this, not worry about her. And, she didn’t begrudge them that. She wanted their focus to be on Matthew.
Could she tell Gabe? She thought about it, but she’d hate to see the disappointment, the judgment she was sure would show in his face when she told him. She just couldn’t take censure like that right now. Especially from him. Instead, she closed her eyes and tried to forget that she’d stupidly written everything down and by doing so, had opened herself up to this kind of attack.
Chapter 11
Gabe stepped out of the shower two hours later. An hour and a half run on the beach and a half hour under the cold spray of the shower had done nothing to relieve his rock-hard erection. An erection he'd had since watching PJ moan and gasp in her sleep on the boat that morning.
