by Sky McCoy
I glanced behind me and met the serious gaze of my friend. He wore an expensive black tux with all the accessories of a well-dressed man—luxurious white tux shirt, silk tie, black Italian shoes and a timepiece that cost more than any Mercedes I’d ever owned.
“You’re doing this because you love me, and you love being seen by women who think you’re so handsome they’re willing to forget that one little flaw you have, and you enjoy being the center of attention, Jeremy, so you should admit it. If I’m wrong then why do you wear those obscenely expensive Italian suits?”
He should talk, I thought.
“Now get your pants on and stop cocking around. Get your fine ass on that stage and do me proud this once.” When I turned, Max slapped my ass.
“Does Jami know you enjoy spanking my ass and not his?” I joked.
“He likes for me to stay in practice as long as I don’t stray.”
I ignored Max because I knew since he’d been married to Jami, he wouldn’t look at another man, and he’d never look at Jack the way Jack wanted him to. With the absence of Jack, Max and I had become like brothers.
“Why can’t I march on that stage like this, in just my jockstrap?” I teased, strutting over to a chair, reaching for my pants before someone entered and got the wrong impression. I couldn’t afford to give anyone the wrong impression, especially since I’d spent over twelve years cultivating this persona of a rich, successful, eligible bachelor even though there were rumors flying around about me.
Some rumors were true, however, most were not. The worst you could do was let someone create lies about you. So, I tried to create my own, and failed miserably at that. For example, I had been engaged to my girlfriend for years and still hadn’t married her. I guessed if I’d found the time, or could be bothered, I could have prevented the rumors from flying around about my homosexuality, such as it was.
A single gay man should have had men lined up ready to fuck him, or be fucked, and get his cock sucked or suck any number of cocks, but here I was pretending I’m someone I was not.
I hadn’t had a man since I was in college, and I didn’t count that, because I was on the receiving end of that gay relationship. I’d been careful not to fuck anyone for fear of my brothers finding out. But it was this young twink who would chase me around and offered to suck my cock whenever I wanted, and being hot, I wanted that a lot. I was a young man and horny as fuck, so I let him suck me off, but when he wanted a relationship, I pretended that I didn’t know him.
Wanting to move up in the world didn’t include announcing to everyone that I was gay. At the time everyone cared, and no one in my circle had enough money to buttress against the backlash of being gay, but Maxwell Gold.
When Max took me under his wing and promoted me, because he’d gotten married to someone he wanted to be with, and couldn’t travel as much as he wanted, or his family allowed, finally I’d admitted to him that I too was like him. To which he’d replied that he knew. “You recognize your own,” he’d once said to me.
“You have nothing to worry about, Jeremy, you can do this. You can prance on stage in front of a group of straight and closeted men and women. Pretend it’s like the back room of your own private gay bar. Now hurry, it’s almost time,” Max groaned, and tossed my shirt at me. I aimed my chin in the direction of a velvet box. He retrieved and opened the box, then handed me my gold cufflinks.
“What the fuck are you wearing those for?”
“These are my signature cufflinks, and besides, Annalisa gave them to me. You know Anna. I talk about her all the time.”
“Oh yeah, the one who thinks you’ll eventually marry her. Does she know that you’re not the marrying type?”
“Well what man is?” I glanced over at Max while buttoning my shirt. Max tugged at my wrist and straightened my cuff, then clipped my gold cufflink with my initials on into place. I glanced up at him with a smile. “You’re good at this.”
“You mean a man’s man?” He chuckled and placed the other cufflink in the hole without looking at it. “I guess you could say that,” Max confessed.
“Is that what you do when Jami wears a shirt?” I didn’t let him answer without another question. “Where is he anyway?”
“Waiting for your entrance, and my husband rarely wears shirts. Don’t ask. It’s none of your business, and I know how your mind works, Jeremy.”
I shot him a closed grin.
He dropped my wrist and stepped back. “Just put your fucking pants on and get out there. I don’t want Jami coming in here and thinking he has something to worry about. He doesn’t know how you joke around with me.”
I grinned and said, “You really think my ass is gorgeous?” I turned around and bent over, not expecting to tempt him. I knew Max only saw me as his friend, a friend who had known him since my first semester of college.
Well, we thought we knew each other. At the time he was straight, and to my surprise he’d completely flipped after a few years of being married to his wife. No one knew at the time knew that his preference was men. At least I didn’t.
I wished I’d had his courage and his money. I would have told the world that I preferred a face with stubble, and a hard body with a long cock next to me in bed at night.
Until I met the right one, then no one living in Seattle and working with me, not even my family, would know my preferences, and I wasn’t sure I could tell them without some long-term consequences I wasn’t ready to deal with now. If that time ever came, I would have to tell Annalisa. I hoped she would forgive me, because I liked her a lot, and I didn’t want to lose her friendship.
Max slapped me on the ass and disturbed my thoughts. “No, I don’t think your ass is terrific or special, or gorgeous, the way Jami gushes over you when I show him that picture of us in college.”
I didn’t tell Max that Jack had bribed me to let him have his picture taken with Max, because Max didn’t know that Jack was alive, nor did he know at the time that I had a twin until he saw us together at his wedding.
Max admitted, “Those descriptions of you aren’t my words, they’re Jami’s. I’d say that you’re selfish and narcissistic, but I like you too much, and besides, you’re doing me a favor tonight.”
“So he has a thing for me?” I winked at Max and he flipped his middle finger my way. I placed my legs into my pants and zipped up, then sat on the chair and looked up at Max. He strode around and stood in front of my chair as I tied my shoes.
“When are you going to stop spending all your money on clothes and shoes? You’re nothing but a billboard for designer labels, aside from wasting way too much money on your suits, shoes and cars. Shouldn’t you spend some of that money on buying an engagement ring? How long are you going to string that woman along before she rebels? When you see what you want, you have to take it, or it could get away.”
That’s the problem, I thought. I haven’t seen a woman or man I would want.
“She must have some qualities that appeal to you, Jeremy. Does she like the way you dress? You wouldn’t have spent all your time with Annalisa unless you had plans for her. It’s been five years you’ve been dating her, off and on. Shouldn’t you give her a ring if you’re going to remain straight on the outside?”
I have plans alright. How to get out of marrying anyone.
“Speak for yourself, Max. Look at you. Italian bespoke suits, ties and shirts. And I don’t need a lecture on marrying my woman, or my clothes. If I remember correctly you married one. How did that work out?” Max raised an eyebrow and aimed a telling glare at me. Warning me. “You catch Paige with another man and then you flip and marry Jami. A gay man... and trans.”
“I couldn’t be happier. And as far as the money, I have more than you, and I can afford to have a husband, and an ex-wife and two kids. I live in New York where I have to dress like this and you’re living in Seattle for fuck’s sake,” Max exclaimed with a grin. “If you don’t decide soon what you need to do with your money or your life, you won’t be able to
afford a wife, let alone a man on the side.”
Some of what Max had said rang true, however, he couldn’t read the future and mine was just beginning. As soon as I got the fuck out of here, I was going to spend it combing the local clubs just to flirt and keep my game fresh.
You never knew what life might throw your way, and if I couldn’t get a woman, then I knew I’d have some luck with men. If I got too old who knew I could be a Daddy. Fuck no. I shuddered at the thought. I wanted to grow old with a man I loved. I wanted to wake up and see a hard cock in the morning, fight over something trivial, then kiss and make up with hard punishing sex.
“Look, Max, you choose how you want to spend your life and your money, and I’ll spend mine the way I want. Besides, I don’t have children, or a wife or husband. You really should cut back on your spending. Before you know it, you’ll be borrowing from me.” I chuckled, meeting Max’s eyes. “I’m still working on that agreement you have to produce a movie. I guess you can consider yourself a producer, Max, with all of the pitfalls and money-sucking ways those actors will find to spend money. That gay actor, the blue-eyed heartthrob, Peter, and his young twink what’s his name?”
“Chase,” Max said with a sigh, “Unfortunately, Chase has a doctored video of himself, on a jump-drive, floating around the internet.”
“As I said, one flop and Jami will be taking care of your ass. But all’s not lost, there’s no such thing as bad publicity in your business unless—” I stopped when Max aimed a furrowed brow my way. I didn’t want Max to think about all the things that could go wrong and I was sure he must have thought about it, and didn’t want any reminders.
“Yeah. How about producing your ass out on stage, and you can start by getting the hell out of here before I forget we’re friends and kick your ass. I love you more than a brother, but I don’t want to hear your shit until you’ve finished looking over that contract.”
Max glanced over at me as I tied one shoe. “What’s with you and those fucking shoes? You’re going to be late.” He glared at his watch, then grabbed the lace from my shoe, stooping down and tied it.
“Now,” he said standing up. “I don’t do this shit for my husband and I adore him, and I don’t want to hear about it again.”
“But you love me,” I added, giving him an air kiss.
“Only because you were taller and stronger, and I fell in love with your brother. And you hid your preference for men well, like you’re doing now.”
“And you paid for me to get tutors and never asked if I was gay.” I smiled at him, leaned in and ghosted his lips. He aimed his probing eyes at me and shot me a closed quiet smile.
I didn’t want to broach the gay subject because Max knew my history and I knew his. He might have been the only one who knew me inside and out in Seattle. Not even my brothers knew me as well as he did.
“I’m not taller than you. Maybe by an inch or two, and you did alright hiding your sexual preferences. I never hung out with gay men like you did even if you said you were straight, and you were, from what I knew at the time,” I added.
“And from what I knew of you, you were like the guys I hung out with. We had an eye for women, but we yearned for a hard body under us. Maybe that’s why we’ve remained friends all these years,” Max whispered, and winked at me. It was the same caring gesture I’d seen through the years where he never crossed the line with me. Just a friendly kind of wink.
I’d been attracted to him, but was afraid to let him know, and I didn’t want to cross a line with him since he’d never looked at me that way, and Jack would never forgive me either.
Knowing the type of man Max chose when he came out, he and I never would have made it. We were both too physical, and would have probably have beaten each other’s brains out. And it didn’t help that we were both tops. But, then, Jack was another story. Jack was fluid. He could be whatever a man wanted, or if he’d found a woman who he was attracted to, he’d let her fuck him as well with her toy of choice.
I chuckled. “You’re too tense, Max. You should have your husband give you an old fashion blowjob, then you wouldn’t be back here fucking around with me. Let me get dressed in peace, will you? Give me a break. Go pester your husband for a change.”
Max twisted his mouth, turned, then sauntered over to an open closet, where he reached for my jacket and held it up. After I’d buttoned my shirt, I shrugged my arms through the sleeves, then he straightened the collar, stood back and glanced at me, before handing me a tie. I grabbed the tie and flung it across the room.
“I’d sooner go on that stage wearing a jockstrap than wear that bowtie. Where’d you get that shit anyway? Maybe they should see what they’re really getting, then those women might bid higher on me and you can get more money for your charity.”
“There will be women, oh yes,” Max said, with a long pause, “Men too, bidding for a night with you, and any of the men who agreed to this earlier.”
My mouth closed. I tightened my jaw, my expression turning from cheerful to serious. I raised an eyebrow and furrowed my brow. “You didn’t tell me that, Max.” I narrowed my gaze and bit my lip.
“The hell you say.”
“I don’t know if I’m going out there.” I shook my head. “I’ve built myself a good law practice in Seattle, and all the pussy I can handle. Now why would I put myself through even a hint of someone thinking I’m gay?”
“I’m not suggesting that a gay man looking for a wild night will bid higher for you. These men want a night on the town with a well-known lawyer, who has a successful law practice, and is friends with yours truly. They probably want to just pick your brain. And as for the women, you know they’re dying to get a date with a gorgeous man like you. It’s my law firm and I stand to lose a lot of money if you don’t get your ass out there.”
I’d never heard Max talk to me like that before. Maybe he was losing money with that production company he’d started in California.
“I thought it would be dinner and that’s it. You didn’t say that there was anything else involved. I don’t want to have a date with a man who’s fifty, bald, and unattractive, not unless he has a tight ass. No. Scratch that. If he’s fifty, bald, and unattractive, he probably doesn’t have a tight ass. I draw the line at fifty. I like my men young, and ripe for the picking, and who can keep secrets,” I joked. “If anyone gets me who doesn’t fit that bill, then I might drop out, or better yet, not go out on that stage because you didn’t tell me some loser might bid on me.” I knew Max well enough to know that I’d pissed him off.
“The hell I didn’t tell you what to expect. You weren’t listening. You know how you behave when you want to ignore something or someone. You tune them out,” Max said, slapping me on the back. I turned and glared at him. Just as I thought, he and I would never make it as partners. I’m happy it didn’t take me long to find that out.
“Like I’m doing now,” I barked. “I told you before, I’ve given up on men. I don’t have luck with men.”
“So, you just decided to fuck women? Don’t you think you’re being unfair?”
“I mean I decided to date only women. Not look for a partner. I realized that I’m not cut out for that settling-down shit, and lately I’ve been turned off by men.”
“Someone must have really disappointed you, or worse, fooled around on you, Jeremy. That’s it. You’re so wrapped up in how handsome you are that you didn’t think a man would reject you. So, get over it. Everyone gets rejected one way or another in their lifetime. That’s no reason to change. You’re being unfair to the women you date, and yourself. You can’t go back and forth. It confuses the brain not to mention the cock. You can’t fuck a woman like a man.”
Max was just guessing about me.
“No shit. You should know,” I murmured, turning my head away from Max. “What if I pull out of this fucking charade?”
“This is an auction, Jeremy. For a good cause, not to satisfy your ego. What you do tonight will provide shelter and food for th
e homeless in Seattle where you probably contributed to the housing crisis. But, that’s another story and we can talk about that later. Now get your fine ass out there and make the women swoon and the men wish they were gay.” I followed Max to the door as he opened it and turned to stare at me.
I thought I knew what Max was thinking at the time. He’d said to me that he was happy now that he had embraced and loved himself as a gay man, and only then was he able to find the perfect partner. He sounded like Jack. I wondered if Jack had something to do with those words.
Max spun around, and closed the door behind him. I leaned my head against the mirror, shut my eyes for a second, then stood back straight, and observed the man staring back at me.
“Yeah...” I murmured. “...but I’m still looking, and as the rock group Queen once said, “Can’t anybody find me somebody to love?”
“The minute I spotted his handsome face, those fascinating blue eyes, I knew he was hiding something, but I wanted him nevertheless.”
Chapter 3
Dorian
“Mr. Walker would like to see you in his office,” Kirsten said with a wide smile growing on her lips. I didn’t know how to take that. I’d known Phillip for years, we’d been friends before we became lovers, and I’d called him Phil for the few years we were together, yet now he was Mr. Walker.
Nevertheless, I tried to avoid Mr. Walker as much as possible, but how much could you avoid a man who you had been sleeping with and who you worked for. The best friend to lovers hadn’t worked out, and we had both agreed that if we were to work together and stay friends, then we needed some space. What I didn’t know was that Mr. Walker had already made plans for his future.
We did let each other down easy. It was either that, or I had to go work someplace else. Phillip Walker owned this architectural firm, therefore he wasn’t going anywhere—that would have been for me to do—but I loved my job, so the best thing was to stop sleeping together because Phillip loved to fuck around, and I didn’t. I wanted something and someone stable.
