by Sky McCoy
Not bisexual, but straight, was what he’d stressed when we first spoke. I guessed it was my fault that he was now gay.
He’d been looking for someone to take care of his baby. He had a baby by a woman and I had been the dupe when he’d asked me to marry him. It was only to take care of a child like that man he’d tried to quiet and get out of the office before I came back. The same one I’d seen at the restaurant.
I didn’t know who to turn to, but Phillip. I called him on my ride home. “Phillip? Have you gone home yet?”
“I’m walking into my building now. I don’t know what you said to Eric, but he called me and he’s never been this agreeable and sweet.”
“He should be nice to you, Phillip. You’re a great guy. If you weren’t such a slut we could have gotten along. I say a slut because obviously Eric likes sluts and you two are made for each other. If you’re wondering why I’m calling, it’s because I have a problem. Can I come over to your house to talk?”
“Not today, Dorian. Eric and I are having make-up sex and he ordered out for me tonight. It’s the first time he’s done that since we got together.” I heard Phillip get into the elevator as we talked, then open the door to his apartment, and drop something on the floor as he kicked his shoes off. I knew those sounds because I knew Phillip, and he never changed his routine.
“I need something to get Jeremy off my mind. I want to forget him. It’s not going to work out. You know how I am. I don’t like to be second fiddle to any man. I think he was trying to use me.”
“The only thing I can think of is when you want to forget a man, you have to go out on a date. The sooner the better. Either that will make you forget him, or you’ll discover why you liked the man you’re with in the first place. I’d say online dating. That’s where you’ll find someone.”
“Is that your answer? Find a man online?”
“That’s where I found Eric.”
“You mean you found Eric on an online dating site? You mean you were cruising dating sites while I was working my ass off for you?”
“Let’s not plow that road again, Dorian,” Phillip said so casually as if he’d done nothing wrong, and in his mind he hadn’t. “Dorian, you’d said that I was a slut, and I admit to that. Some men like sluts and then there’s you.”
“What the fuck does that mean, then there’s you?”
“We just weren’t meant to be together, Dorian. You wanted something I didn’t want.” Yeah, like a loving relationship where there wasn’t any cheating. “You wanted exclusivity and Eric doesn’t mind if I stray—”
“I guess you don’t mind if he strays either.” There was a long silence. “Phillip, did you have a stroke and can’t talk? It didn’t look like you were comfortable with him dryfucking that young twink on the dance floor. He would still be holed up with that twink if I hadn’t threatened him.”
“You threatened him?” I guessed from his response, he was still alive. “That’s just the way Eric is. He fucks around, and then comes back and before he fucks me, he tells me all about it. He tells me how large—”
“Spare me the gory details.”
“You asked me—”
“I didn’t ask you to reveal what goes on in your bedroom. If you can’t help me out, then maybe I should have consulted Eric.”
“Eric is right here. Do you want to talk to him?”
Oh fuck, no. “What’s the matter with Eric? I’m sure what I said to him didn’t bring him home and be a good boy. Did the ASPCA finally catch up with him and bring charges, and now he’s on house arrest wearing an ankle bracelet?”
“I heard that,” Eric said.
“Fuck you, Eric, and fuck you, Phillip, for sharing my conversation with him,” I barked. I hit the button because Phillip was of no use to me. He was caught up in Eric’s world.
WHEN I REACHED HOME, sitting around with a glass of wine, I opened my computer and decided to take Phillip’s advice. I was sure I’d regret it later, but I had to do something because I’d go crazy sitting here alone, thinking about Jeremy and drinking. Bad combination. This was the time I wished I’d known Jack better, if just to have a talk with him to find out about where Jeremy’s head was. But that time had passed and it was time to face the truth. It was over between me and Jeremy. “Move on,” I shouted.
I landed on this dating site, named Top-Notch, exclusive to gay men. The name was impressive and I assumed that whoever signed up for it had to be classy and top-notch as the name implied. Another reason it caught my eye had to do with all the reviews. Five hundred five stars. Now that was impressive.
The site had apps where I could spend my time navigating it on my smartphone when I went out to the construction site of Jeremy’s home, which he’d placed into the contract, and I’d placed into the construction proposal.
I’d inadvertently signed it because of the money he’d offered for my time and expertise. The firm had been paid handsomely for it—another thing Phillip had to thank me for—but that bastard, Phillip, had been too eager to spend more than we had made last year, and I would have to work hard once more to get the company healthy again.
I scrolled through the pictures and resumés, where handsome men with bodies to die for, and some were doctors and lawyers, “Oh hell no, no more lawyers,” I murmured. Had I missed something? Yeah I had. I’d settled for Phillip and his cheating ass when I could have been sampling the hundreds of available men out there, I thought as I looked through the many delicious-looking hot guys showing up on the screen.
Just looking at their faces and bodies I could relieve the constant ache of my cock that Jeremy had left me with, but I didn’t want to use my hand and toys were out of the question. I was too self-conscious and straitlaced to even consider going with my fist now that I’d met Jeremy Westbrook. What the fuck was it with me that I couldn’t fuck around like Phillip once I had found a man I wanted? However, I was sure that was a disaster waiting to happen to me. If I don’t get with it I could find myself lonely and old.
“I’ve got to do this,” I murmured as I scrolled through a hundred pictures.
Some were showing dick picks instead of their faces. I knew what they were selling, but I wanted much more than a heavy and thick out-of-this-world cock. How would I know he wasn’t catfishing me? That could be a fake dick, or belong to someone else. I wouldn’t know that until I’d seen it. I didn’t want to go down that road again, nor did I want to wait forever to find out that the dick I’d seen didn’t belong to the man I’d fallen in love with.
I wanted a man that would take it slow. Maybe cuddle with me on a cold rainy night and watch old and new movies, bring me flowers. “Oh what the fuck am I doing?” I mumbled as I swiped through the pictures of bodies, hard pecs, and cum-worthy cocks.
Thumbing the screen, picture after picture, I found one that I thought had potential. And he was a doctor no less. He wasn’t as great looking as Jeremy, but then who was?
“Maybe Jack.”
I’d found a great picture of me which I loaded up to the site, after filling out a profile—which took way too much time for my taste. I was looking for a man to have a conversation with, go out on a date, not buy a fucking house with, nor marry him.
Finally, I got a hit, and when I brought up the picture it was of the man I’d seen earlier. Not too handsome or too good looking, but a professional with his own practice. At least he could pay for something. “Dinner maybe?” I mumbled, “And he’s a real fucking doctor not that pretend doctor Phillip planned on marrying.
Reading on, I had to learn about online dating and what was expected. After all we were adults no one would knowingly place a phony picture up, would they? If I had to ask that question, I’d been out of the dating scene for too long. Wasted my time with Phillip.
I tried calling the number, however it went to voice mail. Then I sent a text, and ten minutes later I received a text telling me he was busy and had patients, but he had a few moments to chat.
Dorian: Hey. I scrolled
and found a picture of you.
Christian: Not one of my dick pictures. If you look at the small print it says this image appears larger than you think.
Dorian: Maybe I contacted the wrong person. You’re a doctor and your name is Christian.
Christian: I was just kidding. I thought I’d lighten things up. You do appear to be uptight. Do you think we’d make a good fit?
Dorian: I picked you because you placed your picture on the site and I liked your face. It’s handsome in a unique way.
Christian: How do you know it’s me? Just kidding. It’s me and if you meet me for lunch one day, if you have time, then you can see for yourself that what you see is what you get.
I agreed to meet Christian for a quick lunch at his clinic. Since my schedule was more fluid and I needed this opportunity to get my mind off of Jeremy and focus on someone else. If nothing else it could be a good chance to get out and meet someone different besides married men who wanted to build their wives the most amazing houses, or businessmen who had no time for anything except building and destroying neighborhoods around Seattle.
Or hot men who had too many secrets buried in their closets and didn’t want those skeletons spilling out into the open. I had to get my mind off Jeremy. Every thought in my head had Jeremy’s name on it and I definitely needed a distraction.
Maybe a doctor was what I required. I’d know where he was at all times. Or maybe a prisoner? Now that thought alone made me realize I had to get my jealousy in check.
Chapter 13
Jeremy
After working at the office all day and helping Parker with Jacqueline at night because of her wild sleeping patterns, where she played at midnight as I’d just fallen asleep, I’d been exhausted and numb.
“Parker can you help me out. I can’t work all day and then play all night.” I stood over the bed where Parker appeared to be dead to the world. Even when I touched his shoulder he didn’t wake. I knew he’d taken on too much with the cleaning, cooking, running errands for me, and dealing with a small child. Therefore, I let him sleep then I picked up Jacqueline and sat in the rocker, closed my eyes and she fell asleep.
I placed her in the bassinet, which Parker had suggested she sleep in until she’d gotten older. Parker woke just as I laid her down. “I’m sorry but I closed my eyes for a few minutes and now it’s two hours later.”
“I’m going to have to hire someone to do the cleaning and cooking because the baby needs you all the time and I have a lot of things to do. The house is almost ready to move in.”
“That soon?”
“I knew the president of this construction company and he agreed to put his best men on getting my house done quickly. Now since the house is almost finished there is packing and shipping some of my furniture. I have a lot to do and I need you awake and healthy for Jacqueline.
“I think you’re right. I thought I could do everything and be everything. I’ve been trying to prove something to myself, and I didn’t do a good job of it.”
With a baby, we were both tired and that wasn’t good. I thought two men could handle this house with one child, but we’d failed, and I didn’t have time for anything or anyone when I finally made it home each night.
I needed time to repair my relationship with Dorian and I didn’t have one minute to spare on that endeavor.
Today I had to see Carter and take him some clothes and I’d been sleeping on my feet. It was this time I needed Jack to be here and sit in on some meetings for me. I hated to delegate but I finally had to. I hadn’t had but a few hours’ sleep last night, and when I passed a mirror on my way to the shower and shave, I paused, because I didn’t recognize the strange man staring back at me. I look like shit, I thought.
After a quick shower and shave, I smelled coffee. Parker, although exhausted, was still able to get the coffee going. Pulling out my suit, and a packed bag with clothes in it for Carter, I dressed and headed for the kitchen where I’d left my phone.
I checked it, just in case Dorian left me a text. I didn’t expect one, but it would have been nice to realize that maybe he’d had been too eager to bring me in guilty. As I scrolled through, I saw that Jack had been calling.
“What’s so important?”
“I’m coming home. I’ll be at the airport in about an hour. Can you have someone pick me up?”
“I took the day off and after I see Carter, then I’ll head over there and get you. How did everything go?”
“The training of Max’s bodyguard went great, my relationship with Max went down the toilet, but Jami was a godsend. He patched things up between us and we came to an understanding.”
“What the fuck did you do?”
“Pick me up and I’ll tell you.”
“Why didn’t Max bring you back on his jet?”
“We weren’t talking that much. He offered, and I told him to go fuck off and I had to leave.”
“I’ll be there to get you. Just wait there for me. Don’t take a cab. See you then.”
I closed my eyes, walked over to the counter, and poured a cup of coffee. Today I’d take it black. I needed the boost it would give me to deal with all this crap and those Westbrook boys. I hoped I had the stamina. However, I doubted it since I’d had very little sleep and I’d been walking around with a hard cock since the last time I’d seen Dorian looking up at me with my shaft in his mouth. “Oh fuck me,” I groaned, and shivered when heat shot through me. I cupped my stiff cock to quiet it.
ENTERING THE HOSPITAL and going to the ward where Carter was being held, I headed straight to his room. I glanced around at the small room with two beds in it. He had a roommate, which I thought was good, someone to talk to, someone in the same circumstances he could relate to. Carter had been sitting on the side of the bed and rose when he saw me walk through the door.
“Did you bring me something to wear? These hospital things do nothing for my mental health. I want to feel like myself.”
We all do, I thought. Just recently I’d been a man with few cares and I could do, or go anywhere I wanted. I’d finally gotten Carter settled with Lindsey after all these years, and she’d taken care of him. I didn’t know that now I’d have Carter and Jacqueline, and no one to ease the pain I was feeling now looking at my broken brother.
I placed the bag down in front of him, sat in the chair for visitors, and looked at him. Carter rifled through the bag as if he was a child opening his presents on Christmas morning. He pulled out a sweatshirt with a logo of his favorite football team on the front, along with matching pants. I’d sent Parker to pick up those things in a hurry, and to find something Carter would like and he did. I hadn’t seen such a broad smile from Carter in years.
He’d pulled the clothes out, and placed them at the foot of his bed, then looked at the ensemble, his eyes glowed when he turned to me, then he asked the question I’d dreaded on my drive here, “Are you going to sign for me to get out?”
“Yes, but not today.”
And just like that his head swung to the side and he stared at the wall, offering his statement as if lost and confused. “I don’t want to stay here any longer. I want to go and get on with my life.”
I’d known that it wasn’t that easy to do. I didn’t know how long his company could carry on without him, I hoped it could last long enough where I could get Carter help, so he’d have some place where he couldn’t hurt himself, and I could get my life together.
“But you tried to kill yourself. Don’t you think you need more time where you can get help? The doctors here are good. They can help you cope with your loss.”
“I wasn’t going to kill myself, Jeremy. I just needed time to get over Lindsey’s death. I was confused. I just said that I felt like killing myself to one of my employees, and he freaked out, called the police, then the news people came around, and it became a big circus with everyone screaming for me not to do anything. I asked for you because I didn’t want to talk to anyone, especially Jack. Jack never understood me, but you did.
I love you, Jeremy.” Carter slanted his head to the side and at that moment I was taken back to the day I ran to him to see if he’d died. Then he’d been in my arms and looked so helpless, the same way he looked today.
“I asked for you and they sent Jack up. No one would listen to me. Only you knew about what I’d gone through.” I knew what he went through the night Lindsey died, and I was certain that he had to stay longer to heal. There was no way I’d sign him out now.
“I’m here, Carter. I understand what you’re going through, but you have to give me time. I’m taking care of a baby. I named her after our mother.” He turned and stared at me, bit his nails like a child trying to decide what to say.
“That’s nice.” Carter didn’t want to face the responsibility that the baby was his and Lindsey’s, especially since there was no Lindsey. “What I need is time to get over my wife dying. And I can’t do that around strangers. I need to be with you.”
“I can’t bring you home. I have my little girl to think about.”
“You and Lindsey had a baby girl. We have a girl in the family. So many boys and only one girl. Yes I remember,” Carter said as if he’d tried to remember that night and something wouldn’t let him. He’d probably blocked that out of his mind that the baby should have been his and now she was mine.
“I know you can’t bring me to your home, but I can go to mine. If you make arrangements for me to have a nurse, then I can get to my doctor’s appointments, and get my meds so I can get better. Yes of course, you have a baby,” Carter repeated, before he reached and pulled out his comic books, some he’d saved since he was a teenager. When he opened one and fell across the bed to read it, he didn’t notice that I left.
I didn’t take a breath until I’d gotten outside. I rushed back to my car and headed to the airport to pick up Jack.
