by Sky McCoy
Thomas fidgeted with his hands, writhed on the sofa, nervous. Then leaned and reached for the bottle, poured another drink, and downed that too. He peered at me, studied my face, as I considered his. “Is that all?” he said, his voice quivering, not so anyone would notice, but I’d known him just like he knew me, and getting money from him that he thought to be his, even if it wasn’t, had left him shaken and insecure.
“No that’s not all,” I admitted. I thought I could look Thomas in the face and tell him that I was gay. Come out and own it with confidence, but in front of Thomas I found I still had that middle-child syndrome, allowing my oldest brother to make me invisible.
“Don’t just sit there and not say something, Jeremy, what the fuck is it?”
“I’m coming out?” I blurted that out, because I knew if I didn’t say it now, and own it, that Dorian would have been right about me all along, and I’d never have a chance with him. I’d still be doing stupid shit when it came to him, ruining whatever chances I’d have to have a happy life with Dorian.
“Where the fuck are you coming out from?”
“I think you know what I’m talking about. I’m sure you’ve heard that expression before since some of your newfound friends are gay.”
“You must be shitting me?” Thomas stood with his glass in hand, marched around the table glaring at me, then back to the bottle sitting in front of him, poured another shot and dropped down on the sofa. This time he placed the bottle between his legs as if he knew he’d need another drink soon. He raised his eyes and aimed an angry glare at me. “Tell me you didn’t say what I thought you had.”
“This is not a fucking dream you’re having, Thomas—”
“No. It’s not. It’s a fucking nightmare for me. I have two brothers who are gay and the next thing the media will be questioning is if I’m gay.”
“I doubt that, Thomas. No one would question a man like you. Dry and humorless, married to—well, a woman like Alice could turn the straightest man—”
“Can’t you leave Alice out of this and be serious for once? I have an election coming up and all you can do is laugh at me. That’s my life. I’ve always wanted to be in politics, ever since I was in high school, the best debater in school, and I lost only once to the prick that’s running against me. I can’t lose this race, that’s why I’m embracing the gay community. I need them to take me over the top.”
“Always about your selfish wants and needs. Always controlling and manipulative, you never disappoint, Thomas, so then your worries will be over when you tell them that you have two gay brothers.
“Jack had the good sense to get out of Seattle, but you, you’re going to be a problem,” Thomas muttered as if he’d planned to disown me as he’d done to Carter too many times to count.
“The only problem I see is the one you’re going to have if I tell the gay community that you’re a homophobe.”
Thomas’s face turned a sickly red. “You know it’s not that Jeremy, it’s just that I want this so much that—”
“That you’re willing to throw your brothers under the bus just to satisfy those ass-kissing pricks and your wife? Where the fuck is your common sense and decency? Don’t answer that, because whatever you say, it will be a lie or an excuse and I’m not in the mood for either.”
“That’s unfair of you. Alice is trying her best to embrace the gay community. She organized all these fundraisers and listened to their plight. She’s empathetic with them and she’s helping me to understand how difficult it is to be a gay man in this country.”
“How the fuck would she know? She’s a woman. She’s not a gay man, not unless you’ve been hiding something. She does act like she has balls.”
“Stop with the jokes about Alice. I thought you knew how difficult it was, even for Jack and—
“It would have been less difficult if your own big brother had embraced you and shown you kindness and understanding sometime.”
“I’m learning, Jeremy. You can’t expect me to change overnight. Alice spoke with a man who said that you were gay. I think his name was Dorian and she talked with him to try to understand what he was going through.”
“What the fuck is there to understand? We’re all human beings. We don’t need you to understand that we’re human. If you’re a man then nothing human should be foreign to you.”
Thomas made an attempt to pour another shot.
“Stop. I’m not driving you home because I have a baby to take care of, and you’re not going to drive in your condition.”
“I have a driver waiting for me.”
“It must be great to have a driver and someone to wait on you while your brother is languishing in a hospital waiting for someone to pick him up. He can’t leave because he’s not stable and you’re riding around and drinking.”
“What do you want from me?”
“I want nothing. I’m not expecting anything. I don’t care if you look down on me for coming out as gay. I don’t give a rat’s ass. It’s Carter our youngest brother who needs help now. All I want you to do is help with Carter, even if it’s loosening the purse strings, giving the money he needs to get help.”
“I’ll do what you ask if you’ll promise me that you won’t go around town and badmouth me and Alice, and that you’ll attend one of my fundraisers here in Seattle.”
When Thomas left my apartment, I’d agreed to his requests to attend a fundraiser. I didn’t promise not to take out an ad in the newspapers or get on Twitter and blast him for the homophobe that he was.
However, he’d had too much to drink and when he’d sobered I suspected that he would pretend he’d never had this conversation with me. Nevertheless, I wouldn’t let him forget his promises. I had him sign a paper stating that he’d do what I asked of him with regards to Carter, and that I’d attend at least one of his fundraisers.
Chapter 16
Dorian
After I’d talked to Christian, I’d discovered that we did enjoy the same things together. However, we yet to have that date that would seal Jeremy’s fate and close my heart for him forever. I’d driven around, bought groceries and shopped for some new jeans. I’d forgotten that I had to meet Jeremy at his home site. That had been a first, when normally my heart would skip a beat thinking that I would see him.
Just as I walked in, my phone began to ring.
“Where were you?”
“Who is this?”
“It’s Jeremy Westbrook, your boss.”
“The last time I’d checked I had no boss.”
“Well, Mr. Hart, you have missed an appointment. You were to meet me at the construction site and you never called or showed. I had the contractors waiting for hours and that was costly. What do you suggest I do?”
I wanted to tell him, how dared he make any demands on me. I wanted to tell him he could go fuck himself.
However, it was a good day and I had a friend now with Christian and I was feeling more generous.
“Do you suggest that I refuse to pay you for breach of contract? I’m a lawyer after all.” He did say business and not personal and he’d been right, however, I didn’t know if it was personal that he’d been this pissed.
“I’d like to apologize, Mr. Westbrook. If you give me another chance, I can meet you on the site at the time and place of your choosing, and we can discuss your concerns.”
“Can you meet me in an hour?” His voice thoroughly cold and indifferent. My heart raced, and my neglected cock which had been orphaned for too long, was eager to see the object of my affection, and the bane of my existence—Jeremy Westbrook.
As I rushed to shower before I met him at his house, I thought I should let Christian know that I’d be late, therefore I texted him hoping he’d be busy at his clinic, and I didn’t have to meet him tonight for what he’d termed a real date.
He’d offered to order food in, and I’d meet him at his home because it was conveniently close to his work. Whenever I met men I’d always catered to their needs. Why was that?
I’d wondered. Jeremy had been the only man I didn’t do that with, and the only man that I found I had genuine feelings for. I was so afraid of losing him that I’d walked away before he dumped me.
That had to be fucked up with a capital F, I’d rationalized.
When I’d considered why I’d felt that insecure, I came to the conclusion that perhaps it had to do with how we’d met, and how he’d claimed that he’d been straight, but I didn’t realize that it had to do with a baby. I’d been so envious and jealous of Jeremy having a relationship with anyone, a man or a woman, that I’d sabotaged my own happiness for my empty principles. Hell, I’d put up with much more from Phillip, and I hadn’t listened to one day of what Jeremy had tried to explain to me about Jack, a baby, and the other guy that always seemed to show up whenever I’d seen Jeremy.
I thought I needed someone to talk to about my fascination with Jeremy, but how could I go on a date with one man and end up obsessing about another? Only a doctor would understand, but Christian wasn’t that kind of doctor, but if I was lucky, he’d taken Psychology 101 and he knew a good therapist.
Dorian: Christian I’m going to be late. Order the food and I’ll just microwave it when I get there. A last minute job I’d forgotten about.
Christian: I understand. I hope you’re as forgiving when I’m late and I guarantee you it will be for more than your one time. I can order the food when you get here. It won’t take long.
Dorian: OK, but the next one’s on me. I’m bringing the wine, but if you’re hungry start without me.
Christian: Will do.
I had my clothes off, hopped into the warm shower, took a quick wash and I was out and dressed in a polo shirt, a pair of tight jeans. I threw over my leather jacket, and I was good to go.
I ARRIVED AT THE TWO-story luxury home, outside of Seattle in a gated community on the lake. There weren’t but a few homes built, or in the stages of completion. I thought I counted five so far in the development, but you could see more were blocked out and in the planning stages.
Jeremy had given me his code to get in. Driving around I saw his Range Rover parked at my dream home. I sighed, thinking that this home was almost complete and that it was supposed to be mine if I ever saved enough to buy a lot and build on it.
Driving my car close by the front entrance, I stopped in the driveway, and stepped out and looked around. The place looked as if it was ready to move in to, however, that was the outside. The flooring had been done, but the kitchen counter tops, and bathroom fixtures weren’t ready, but with enough crew it would be a week at most. That’s what I was doing here to go over what appliances and fixtures I thought would work well in this home, and to see if the contractors had built everything to specification.
I had this crazy idea that I should get back into my car and drive away, but the front double door opened.
“Mr. Hart, are you going to stand out there all day, or are you coming in. Let’s get this over with.” His demeanor hadn’t softened and neither had his voice.
Our eyes locked, and damn if I didn’t want him to fuck me. There was no power on Earth to stop the blood from coursing through my body and settling on my cock. Just being in Jeremy’s presence had proven toxic to me. There was no way I’d let him get that close to me again.
“You go first.”
Jeremy’s blue eyes swept over me in a second, then he turned on the balls of his feet, and stepped back into his beautiful house.
I watched his handsome confident ass strut with those long legs, and that fine hard ass was a man’s fantasy come true. I had to cup my cock to keep it from staining the front of my pants. Then Jeremy stopped and turned just as I held my anxious cock.
“What do you think? Did I choose the right color for the entrance?” His eyes flew straight to my hand, but he tried to pretend that he hadn’t seen me.
“Isn’t that for you and your partner to discuss? Not me. I’m here as a consultant on the products that you are planning on putting in. It’s not in my paygrade to decide on the color of your walls or the size of your dick.”
“What did you say?”
I’d fucked up for good. I’d been trying to maintain an aloof and cool manner when dealing with him. I couldn’t think of any word that would rhyme with dick that would cover up my slip of the tongue. I did my best to cover it up, though. It wasn’t good but it would have to do for now.
“I said that I’m not here to decide on the color of your walls or the size of your sick—”
Jeremy stopped me before I could complete that totally stupid sentence I’d planned on substituting for my original one.
“I can see Mr. Hart that you took me at my word. All business no pleasure.” When I started to climb the stairs he said, “Let’s take the elevator.” I didn’t want to get near him, especially in a confined space, but I went along anyway. “I need your advice about my bedroom.” He glanced over at me, “Don’t worry, it’s not what you think.”
It wasn’t what I’d thought, but it was what I wanted.
When the elevator stopped, the door opened and I stepped out into a large hall. Across were the doors to the master bedroom.
Before he opened the door, I turned around and said, “What do you think I’m thinking?” He raised an eyebrow. “You were the one who said it’s not what I’m thinking. Since you can obviously read my mind, I’d like to know what I was thinking.”
“Are you going to fight me on every turn, Dorian? Don’t you know why I invited you here? Do you lack emotions and passion that much where you don’t know how I feel about you?”
“It may not be my lack of perception as much as it is my perception of a man who has lied to me, and told me that he loved me. You didn’t have enough respect for me to tell me the truth. I don’t appreciate being laughed at. Your fiancé laughed at me, your brother laughed at me and now you are teasing me again. Is that why you asked me to marry you, so you and your boyfriend could have a bigger laugh.”
“You are fucking insane, Dorian.”
I turned to walk away. “I mean that in a good way. You have to be insane not to recognize how much I want you. I need you so much,” Jeremy’s voice was low and seductive.
“For what?”
“To be with me. I need you to be my partner and not to raise my baby, but it would help if you were with me and consented to being my husband.”
“Look, Jeremy, as good as that sounds, if you had said those thing to me before instead of letting me find out by accident, then maybe we would have had a chance.”
“What do you mean? I’m telling you now that I want you to marry me, and I have a baby. The truth is that you don’t know how I came by having this child.”
“I assume you fucked some woman when you were in your straight man phase, or bisexual phase, I don’t fucking know.”
“You’re right, you don’t know.” I slanted my head waiting for the big revelation. “Haven’t you heard about artificial insemination?”
I hadn’t thought about that. I’d been so jealous of anyone that had been a part of Jeremy, had lain under him as he penetrated them. I’d been wallowing in my own self-indulgence, with the feeling that I’d been betrayed by a man I wanted so much that I couldn’t see or think straight.
Sucking in a heavy breath, I mumbled, “Well, I’m waiting, Jeremy. This should be interesting.” I waited for this story. He narrowed his eyes. “Well are you going to tell me?”
“I’m trying.” Then I saw him brush his thumb under his eyes to wipe away a tear. I remembered the last time I’d seen him like this, and he wanted me to hug him. Me, of all people, who’d never comforted anyone when they needed me—not even my dog, had I been there to protect him and comfort him—but I was here now for Jeremy and I did love him.
I brought him into my arms, and when our eyes met, combining blue with green, our bodies slammed into each other as our lips collided. I breathed heavily into his mouth as we traded warm saliva sucking each other’s tongues.
Pulli
ng away breathless, I said, “I’m waiting, I can’t wait any longer. Jeremy pushed open the door to the master bedroom. I found it had been completed and he’d decorated it with a four-poster bed, the kind I’d imagined in the drawing. “How did you know?”
“When you gave me the first plans, you had sketched out the furniture, and materials for the showers, flooring, and how you saw each room.”
I walked around and touched the bed, ran my palm over the large chest, sat in the wingback chairs, where a Tiffany standard lamp stood behind, and I’d imagined I’d sit and read before going to bed.
The remainder of the furniture in the rooms of this beautiful house could be modern, but I appreciated the old-world sturdy bed that wouldn’t give when the man I married would fuck me each night. Any new beds would probably collapse under the strain. Maybe the influence of too many old movies, had me fantasizing about this bedroom I was looking at now. I thought I’d had it with Phillip, but another dream had been shot to hell. I couldn’t help but protest.
“But those were my ideas you stole. Now you’re going to share it with another man.”
“The only man I’d share this house with is you.” And Jeremy pulled me to the edge of the bed, placed his hand on my chest, and pushed me on my back.
“That hurt,” I moaned, clutching my chest.
Leaning over me, his elbows on each side, he whispered, “That wasn’t hard. I thought you liked me rough.”
“I like my man rough, tender, and exclusive,” I admitted, looking into his blue eyes made bluer by the soft blue pullover he wore over his black slacks.
Jeremy pressed his hips down and his hard cock crashed against my thigh as he dry fucked me. My hands encircled his neck as he took my lips once again, and then he sank his teeth into my neck. As he sucked and bit, his hips rolled over me and my hips lifted to meet his.
