by Sky McCoy
“Yeah, but I thought you were going to stay longer in California?”
“I had a problem with Max.”
“What? You offered to suck his cock and Max told Jami, and he kicked you out?”
“What do you think I am?”
“Don’t have me tell you, Jack, what I think. I don’t have all day. I have a dinner I’m going to. Next time, you’ll have to take my place, because I can’t take too much of Thomas blackmailing me to go to these fundraisers for him where he never shows up.”
“Don’t tell me Thomas has the LGBT community raising money for him? Are you crazy?” Jack barked. “You know once he’s elected, he’ll pretend that he doesn’t know them.”
“I’ll see that he carries out most of his promises.”
“Good luck. I’ll see you when you get home.” I could tell either Jack had more confidence in Thomas’s stubbornness and waffling on issues, than my ability to persuade. I had a few things left in my toolbox that would convince Thomas to carry out his promises.
“Can you give Parker a rest and help with the feeding and maybe the changing of diapers?”
“Is that all?” Jack said in a joking way.
“I have to go.” I parked my car because the crowd wasn’t as large as before. Perhaps it was because I saw four men to a car. Strolling up to the door, I was greeted by a young woman holding a computer. “Good evening, sir, are you the guest of Dr. Christian Bruhn?”
“No. But Tyler Nielsen invited me as his guest.” She glanced down and scrolled a list searching for something.
“You’re Mr. Westbrook?” I acknowledged that indeed I was. “I see where he included you on the guest list,” she said pulling up my name. “Walk straight ahead and you should run into a large room, that’s where everyone is gathered. Your brother, Mr. Thomas Westbrook, the guest of honor couldn’t make it tonight.” That sounded about right. Thomas had fucked over me once more. However, since I promised Tyler, and I was hungry, and I hadn’t had a conversation with any adults lately besides Parker, I welcomed this change. Therefore, I decided to continue walking and not turn around and call it a night.
When I entered the room, the first person I spotted was Dorian. Our eyes locked and he had this expression on his face as if to say, what the fuck are you doing here? I aimed an equally bored and fuck you expression his way. However, in reality I wanted to grab him by his shirt, push him against a wall, pull down his pants, leaving his jockstrap in place, and fuck him the way I wanted to—smack his hard pretty ass two or three times, ram my steel cock inside his tight pucker, pull out and start all over again.
I’d been standing and fantasizing for too long when Tyler sitting alone waved at me. He appeared to have his eyes focused on the man standing next to Dorian. I moved in the direction where Tyler stood. When I reached him he said, “What do you think about that cute twink?” He gestured in the direction of Dorian.
“I don’t think he’s your type,” I grumbled.
“Every man’s my type. I mean do you think we could become fuck buddies, because that’s all I need. I haven’t the time for anything else, and I don’t believe in any long-lasting relationships. It doesn’t work out. Never works out,” Tyler murmured as he bit his tongue and then swiped his tongue over his bottom lip in a flirty gesture.
“How do you know if you don’t try a long-term relationship, but I think he’s taken? Look at them. They seem to be into each other the way they’re laughing and whispering, and their body language.” The more I described the way Dorian and the man standing near him and leaning into him, the more I was becoming furious. How dared he take me through this? And now another man found him attractive. Three men after my Dorian, probabilities were that one of us would get him, and I’d already struck out.
“All I see is a handsome man with brown eyes and he’s looking for someone to fuck him hard,” Tyler noted flirting.
“I thought you were talking about the one with the green eyes.”
“Fuck no. I like a man that’s passive. I don’t need the trouble that comes from that one.” Tyler gestured with his head.
“Just look at his face. Handsome, yes. Pretty yes. A body to make you go to your knees even if you’re a top. But look at that smirk on his mouth. He’s hiding that he’s a ball buster. Any man would be crazy to get caught up with him.” Tyler reached for two drinks when the waiter passed by and handed one to me.
Tyler definitely knew men and he’d been right, that beautiful man looking my way and whispering into Tyler’s object-of-affection’s ear, had been difficult if not impossible to deal with. I’d questioned why I’d wasted my time when everything between us had been fucked up from the beginning. And yes, I’d been that crazy man Tyler spoke about.
The only answer I had for myself was that he was mine, and I’d never spent that much time in my life thinking and dealing with anyone. I had a lot invested in Dorian—my feelings, my love, my mental state. All this was wrapped up in Dorian, and I wasn’t going to walk away easily and leave him to anyone else.
When I turned to head in the direction where Dorian stood talking with a group of men, my intentions were to find out what the fuck was going on with him and that man. Then Tyler said, “Do you know Christian, he’s a renowned surgeon in Seattle. I’ve been trying to meet him forever. He’s been waiting for you.”
“What do you mean waiting for me?”
“When your brother said that he couldn’t be here tonight, Christian had text all the donors who contributed, and said that he would have to call off the fundraiser. It was too important not to have the dinner, that when I saw you, I asked you to come with me here. Then I text Christian and he sent out another text, and the meeting was on again. Thank God you’d agreed to this. I hope you don’t mind.”
I didn’t mind at all because I got a chance to talk to Dorian. Then I could tell him what I’d needed to tell him before. All the stuff that had been bothering me that had happened in a short time since I’d met him.
“Look, Tyler, I’ve got my eyes on Mr. Green Eyes. This might work for you after all. We go up to them, you take Brown Eyes aside and ask him out for a date, and I take Green Eyes.”
“Sounds like a great plan to me. We both get what we want. Well, maybe.” After one more drink, with what appeared to be the same purpose in mind, Tyler and I strolled across the room, as heads turned, recognizing me as Thomas’s brother.
When we reached Dorian and Christian, Dorian was seated at the edge of the sofa and Christian sat on the sofa with a spot for Tyler. Tyler plopped aggressively down near Christian, placed his arms on the back of the sofa behind Christian and locked eyes with him.
I stood over Dorian as his green eyes lifted to meet mine. “Can we talk in private?” He glanced over at Christian who appeared to be mesmerized by Tyler. Christian’s eyes and body never turned, but stayed fixed on Tyler’s gaze. He waved his hand to Dorian to go. Dorian rose from the edge of the couch, meeting my gaze. He swiped his tongue around his cute lips, eyes wandered over me, down to my hard length pressing against my black slacks.
Then he headed into the hall, strutting between men discussing the campaigns, and past another group arguing about the political climate in Seattle. When that group of men looked up and saw me following Dorian, I heard one say, “What did I tell you? I knew Jeremy was in the closet and gay. Word about him has been circling around forever.”
I stopped where these men were and Dorian slowed. “Yes, I’m gay and I’m proud of it.” Then Dorian kept walking and when we reached the room, he stood back as I closed the door behind me.
“What the fuck is going on, Dorian. Why are you here?”
“Why do you think I’m here?”
“To fuck that doctor. You found someone on that online dating site, and now you’re going to fuck him or maybe you have already.” My voice broke.
“Is that what you’re worried about? You’d think you would have more to worry about than who I fuck.”
“Not when you and
I were together recently.”
“If you must know, I’m getting involved in the politics of the gay community. I figured that if I could pay one hundred thousand for someone of no value to me, then I could pony up five thousand for something that makes sense. Although I didn’t have to do that because Christian is going to make the donation for me.”
I walked up to him, placed my hand behind his neck. Our eyes met. “Tell me now that you don’t want me.” Our lips met hard as I bit and nipped at his bottom lip. Our tongues fought for control as I rammed mine down his throat the way I wanted to ram my cock down his mouth.
Dorian broke off my kiss, pulling away, leaving me needy and unsatisfied. I had one last chance to make my case.
I told him about my sister-in-law Lindsey dying in childbirth, how Carter didn’t understand because of his earlier brain injury. I told Dorian about how I had to have Carter admitted to the hospital, after he’d expressed the desire to kill himself, and the time I had to devote to a baby because she needed me to be a mother and father. How Carter abandoned Jacqueline, and the callous behavior of my brothers Thomas and Jarrett when it came to helping me and Jack deal with Carter.
Then Dorian closed his eyes, opened them, then took in a large breath and said, “I need to go. This is too much for me to handle right now.”
I didn’t stop him. He had a right to leave because who could handle what I’d just laid at his feet?
Chapter 20
Dorian
It was as if I’d wandered into someone’s nightmare, and I didn’t know how to get out of it. I ran from Christian’s house with Jeremy tearing out of the room behind me moments later once he’d realized that I wasn’t trying to catch my breath.
It had been so much to digest that I needed time alone, away from him. I had just gone through a harrowing time myself and I didn’t want to burden Jeremy by piling on my problems. He looked as if he hadn’t had any rest although nothing could spoil his handsome face and his noticeably blue eyes.
Reaching my car before Jeremy had a chance, I took off, zooming down the highway heading home to sleep, and get some peace before I’d have to face Jeremy and tell him why I ran.
I hoped he’d be a little more charitable to me concerning my plight, than I had been to him. I still considered whether I should tell him, or just go through everything alone and not tell anyone. Not even Phillip who had been my friend when my parents disowned me. When Christian asked if I knew about loneliness, I’d thought I did.
I’d gone through a biopsy with no one to talk to, or cry on their shoulders, and ask for a hug, and waiting for the results had to be the hardest thing I’d ever done in my life, and that included being homeless as a teenager and living on the streets of Seattle. The results of the biopsy would take at least three days if Christian had his doctor put a rush on it. My mind had been full and swirling with awful thoughts. For one, if I were indeed sick, Jeremy would move on.
Jeremy’s explanation had been concise, he’d been able to explain everything about what had happened to him in a short period of time. I’d never listened before to what he’d had to deal with. I just had one minor inconvenience and I broke into pieces and couldn’t handle that properly. Jeremy had been shouldering much more than I could ever have imagined.
There shouldn’t be an excuse for what I did to him. I just ran. I should have stayed and told him that I understood and I’d be there for him. Probably admitted to him what he’d have to confront with me, but I didn’t.
But why didn’t I tell him how I felt when he’d poured his heart out to me? Instead of leaving, I should have hugged him, told him I understood and that I’d be there for him, and let him know that I’d loved him no matter what.
Nevertheless, I ran from the house like a scared animal in a burning forest and headed home to hide.
When the cold air hit my face and I woke to the reality of everything I’d done, and did not do, I’d parked my car, and headed up to my apartment. I turned off my phone, reached for a shot of tequila and before I’d realized it, I’d passed out on my bed.
When I awoke it was early in the morning when I heard movement in the apartment. I sat up quickly and before I could look for something to defend myself, the door opened and standing with a backpack in his hand was Phillip.
“What are you doing here, Phillip?”
“You gave me the key when you said it was okay for me to move in.”
“You said maybe a week or two.” Typical Phillip.
Something caught my eye in the dim-lit hall. “Then who is that?” I saw a tall figure moving past my door as Phillip stood blocking my vision. I leaned to the side. “I hope that’s not who I think it is? Tell me that’s not Eric?”
“What do you want me to do? I couldn’t leave him, he had no place to go.”
“How about sleeping in one of his dog cages.”
“Not even you’re that cruel.”
“You don’t know me as well as you think. I have a problem, Phillip—”
“Tell me another time. It’s six in the morning and we’ve got to get our clothes in here before Eric gets to the clinic.”
“You tell Eric to stay out of my way, and I don’t want him walking around my house nude. Get out of here and make sure you don’t crowd my house out with all that unnecessary shit you and Eric bought.”
“The only thing we have are our clothes, everything else is in storage.”
Phillip left me because he could see that I didn’t want to be disturbed. I tried going back to sleep, but with the sound of shoes and giddy laughter, that had become impossible. Yet still I tried, but after stirring in the bed and trying not to think about what I’d done last night, I realized that it was impossible. I showered instead and reached for my robe.
When I entered the hallway, everything was quiet except the shower and laughter. Phillip had been happy with his man, but mine I’d left alone and unhappy when we were the ones who should have been together sharing and finding strength together.
God I needed coffee or something. Instead of picking up a bottle, I took the lesser of two evils—coffee. I had the coffee on and it was wafting throughout the house when I heard the buzzer.
I marched to the door wondering what now and I opened it without looking.
“I took a chance that you would still be home. I don’t know where to go. I’ve been up most of the night and I had to see you.”
“Come in, Jeremy.” We stared at each other. His eyes remote as he stood considering me as if wondering what to do next. “Do you want a cup of coffee? I have some made.”
Jeremy followed me into the kitchen and each time I turned to make sure he was behind me because I didn’t hear his footsteps.
It was as if now he wasn’t there, when before he’d been a man who walked with a presence and attitude. You could feel him even if you didn’t see him.
He sat on the island bar stool looking intently at me as I placed a cup before him and poured. His eyes never left mine. “I want to be with you, Dorian. Not just for a minute, but for days, months, and years. I can’t see living my life without you. I know I have a child—”
“It’s not your child. How can I not want a child, especially since she’s part of you? I just didn’t think—”
“Oh I knew I’d smelled coffee,” Eric said, interrupting, standing in my kitchen doorway with a robe on open, his belt hanging to the side, and underneath he was naked with a cock and a pair of balls I’d wondered how he could keep from falling forward from the weight of all that between his legs.
Although I’d seen him naked before, I’d never looked at him. Of course at this moment he’d have to show up when I was trying to talk to Jeremy. This was the first time that we’d looked as if we could come to an understanding, and I could tell him what the fuck had gotten into me, when I ran from him.
Now I saw what had gotten into Phillip where he couldn’t let go of Eric who was the most arrogant, obnoxious man alive carrying a set of balls and a cock that would
make an elephant envious. I shuddered to think what it would look like fully erect.
Jeremy rose from his seat without drinking a sip of his coffee. “I’m sorry, Dorian, I didn’t mean to barge in here when you have guests.”
“Don’t go, Jeremy, he’s not a guest, he’s staying here.” Oh fuck that came out terrible.
“No Jeremy, you’ve got that wrong. My name is Eric.” Eric extended his hand and Jeremy glared at it as Eric looked down, and finally he tied the belt to his robe.
Jeremy turned to Eric, “Look Eric, I’ve never met you, but I want you to know that Dorian is mine. There’s no way in hell I’ll let someone like you have him. I’m not going anywhere, and if you think I can be persuaded by you walking in here and greeting me naked, think again. I’m going to take him into his room, and fuck him the way you never could.”
Eric smiled and met Jeremy’s glare, “That because I never have... fucked him I mean.”
Jeremy turned his gaze to me and I shook my head no.
When a puzzled expression covered Jeremy’s face, and reached his eyes, Phillip finally made his entrance like a bit actor with one line in a play. “I was wondering what all the fuss was about.” He grabbed Eric and kissed him.
“Jeremy, this is Phillip and Eric. You know the ones I told you about. Well, they’re my house guest for hopefully not long.” I aimed my glare at them, took Jeremy’s hand, and led him to my room. I closed the door and he sat on the edge of the bed staring at me.
“There’s something I have to tell you. First, I want to be a part of your life. Not just you, your baby, Carter, and, heaven forbid, your other brothers. I never really knew the kind of man you were before last night. I never sat to listen to you and understand what you were going through.” I walked up to him, gave him a hug when I needed one just as badly. Jeremy placed his head on my chest and I flinched. It was still tender from the prodding of the needles into that area.
“Are you okay?”
“That’s what I wanted to tell you, but not now.”
“Are you taking off today?”
