Leather is the only material that improves with our sweat. Our blood. Our tears. Our dedication to it. Leather stretches and morphs. It learns how to cling to our curves and to caress us in only the ways a lover can. Denim may stretch and come to fit us like a glove, but with each washing we strip away the fiber of its being until the threadbare cotton strives to hold on. In retaining our scent, leather keeps not only the memory alive of all of the places we have been, all that we are. It stretches, pulls, calls out to be ours. And once it learns our tale, that tale will always stand.
Even if leather finds a second home, a third, a fourth, each tale is retained in its shape and the way it has come to learn those tales. Passing down leather allows for the tales of those before us to live on, for tales to layer upon one another, for me to build upon what came before, but never forget.
Leather is armor.
We all wear armor in the world. Under a constant barrage of attention, both positive and negative, we need armor to stay strong, stay resolute in our missions. We build shields against our fears and heartbreaks, and when we slip on leather, we slip into a physical representation of these layers. Each modern highwayman is a knight errant, on a quest of his own, and each of us that don a leather jacket picks up that archetypal impression of the modern hero. We quest, we vision, and we use our armor as a tool along that journey.
But any shield needs to be reinforced, and each set of armor needs care. Our emotional shields need to be rebuilt, buttressed, and strengthened through our connections with other humans, through fulfilling our roles in this world, and through finding power in our passions. When we care for our physical armor, our boots and heels, our vests and jackets, we take a moment in meditation to care for our physical shield, in a way that many humans never consciously do for their emotional and psychic shields. We scrub away the detritus and debris of our encounters with the world as the heavy brush loaded with saddle soap and water touches the black hide of our second skin. We wash away the pain of our world and stare at ourselves, raw and exposed. We dip our fingers into the leather polish and make a commitment to strengthen our shields in a conscious manner. We build ourselves up to a high shine, exposing the possibilities of power we have buried in our beings. We wipe away the unneeded and unwanted remains, and find ourselves so much better than we were before, even if our core remains identical to what it was.
What happens then when we allow another to do our leathers for us? By receiving a bootblacking in its fullest message of soul, we are letting another human being scrub away the debris from our beings, wash away the pain, acknowledge our core, and build us back up to our full potential. I close my eyes as my lover massages my foot through the leather of my boot, and as I do so, I feel his skin touch my skin through the leather, penetrating not only my physical armor with this act of reverence and attention, but the armor of my being. My lover sees my core, and instead of leaving me as dusty as I came to him, instead he builds me up and makes me into the vision of what he knows I am able to be. He acknowledges my higher self. He builds up my highest shine and through constant reflection helps me stay at that level against all the pain of the world.
Leather is ritual.
Though leather is retooled and reinvented into different items with each generation, the icons live on through the remembering. We invoke through ritual our shared archetypes of James Dean, the Police Officer, the Biker Bar, the Leather Club, the Prada Fashion Model, the Footballer. We slip into the jacket and become the powerful characters living in the history of our culture.
We grant leather through capping ceremonies, gifts of vests, earning of boots. The charge of our kink forefathers is passed on through familial leather, generations of tales living in each hide as we cherish them, care for them. We slip on our club colors with the same reverence each time, polish our boots with the same attention to detail that we were taught. When we find a piece of abandoned leather, through the rites we have been given we can caress messages out from our past as the conditioner slides over an abandoned hide is found once more.
Our messages in leather can be found over and over again, a message in a tanned bottle to the next set of hedonists down the line. In our leather rituals, we have the power to awaken our dreams again and again. Our traditions. Our history and our future alike. For leather is not only used to make footwear and tight pants, it is the stuff of parchment and Torah scrolls. We inscribe our lives in our sweat and flesh, and pass it on through that which holds us tight.
Leather is sex.
Slings hang from dungeon ceilings and tongues press to chaps, hungry for the taste of all that will come. Glove-clad hands slide over the body, given permission to touch and poke and prod. Bodies bulge and yearn, stretching leather pants into cartoon capacity. Needy groans escape from behind a leather hood, mouths gagged with leather, an association between the two built for life.
Though leather may seem to create a separation between bodies, it only accentuates that space. It calls for the connection to be made. Lash to skin is an intimate act, a dance of desire. Leather cuffs are pulled against, not out of a need to escape, but a need to be held. We need to be held. We need to be touched. We need to be needed.
In leather we are given this—for our lover’s hands can only be in so many places at once. By lacing us into a leather corset or a pair of boots or strapping us into a strait jacket, our beloved holds us even when their hands have moved on. They continue to touch us even when they are gone.
By fucking us in leather, each time we stroke that piece of gear, our senses become alive with that memory. Each time we smell our floggers, we can feel their writhing body at the other end. We carry our memories in tangible form—a gift that leather carries so well, is embodied by so well, by having carried memories of tribal cultures for thousands of years.
Leather is identity.
Strong, tough, durable, memorable. Capable, flexible, patient, iconic, malleable. Unique, powerful, beautiful, tender. Rebellious, intelligent, raw, forgiving. Leather is the traits we long for, the traits that we create within ourselves, the traits we are.
By wearing leather, seeing it, remembering it, leather reminds us how we want to be in the world. Leather reminds us of the transformations in our lives—that which we have undergone, and that which we will undergo in the future. It reminds us of what we want to be when we fully manifest into our authentic selves.
Leather is spirit.
Having an awareness of the material of our beings, we become aware of the path we are undertaking in life. Just as a leather jacket conforms to the wearer, so does our spirit to the path of our lives. This is the truth of leather soul.
If our path does not call to us, we always have a choice, as hard as it is to cast aside a comfortable piece of leather. We can give away our trusty old boots, after debating long and hard the choice. We can choose a new pair. We can be pushed and challenged as we break them in. Leather reminds us that we have choices.
Leather is love.
In all of this and more, leather is love.
So yes, leather can be a fetish object. It can be about dressing up and having fun. And for years, that’s all I took it to be. But there can be more if you want it. If you choose to live fully. If you choose to live consciously. If you undertake a journey towards the conscious art of leather.
And I have.
In Leather, I have embraced my life and uniqueness. I have transformed and continue to transform the lead of my being into the gold of my potential. I am armored yet know how to set it aside. I embrace my rituals and my sex. I hear the calling of my identity and my spirit, and heed the call. And in all of this, I love.
I am a Leatherman. From Sole to Soul.
Appendix 4:
Additional Reading and Resources
This is a far from exhaustive list of books or resources that have been part of my own journey, and are a place to start. Please dig further. New resources are being produced all the time, stuff I was not aware of at the time of publication.
Ones with in front of them are my personal “must read” recommendations as books that changed my life, blown my mind, or deeply informed my personal journey on a profound level. I have chosen not to include “skills” books for Kink in this collection of resources.
Books
Sacred Kink
Beneath the Skins: The New Spirit and Politics of the Kink Community, by Ivo Dominguez, Jr. (Daedalus Publishing, 1994).
Bitch Goddess: The Spiritual Path of the Dominant Woman, edited by Pat Califia and Drew Campbell (Greenery Press, 1998).
Carnal Alchemy: A Sado-Magical Exploration of
Pleasure, Pain and Self-Transformation, by Crystal Dawn and Stephen Flowers (Runa-Raven Press, 1995).
Dark Moon Rising: Pagan BDSM and the Ordeal Path, edited by Raven Kaldera (Asphodel Press, 2006).
Kink Magic: Sex Magic Beyond Vanilla, by Taylor Elwood and Lupa (Megalithica Books, 2007).
Radical Ecstasy: SM Journeys to Transcendence, by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy (Greenery Press, 2004).
Sacred Power: Holy Surrender, by Raven Kaldera and Josua Tenpenny (Alfred Press, 2011).
Spirit of Desire: Personal Explorations of Sacred Kink, edited by Lee Harrington (Mystic Productions Press, 2010)
Spiritual Transformation through BDSM, edited by Sensuous Sadie (Gracie Passette Productions, 2007).
Sex and Kink
The Art Of Sensual Female Dominance: A Guide for Women, by Claudia Varrin (Citadel, 2000).
Ask the Man Who Owns Him: The real lives of gay Masters and slaves, edited by david stein and David Schachter (Perfectbound Press, 2009).
The Compleat Slave: Creating And Living An Erotic Dominant/submissive Lifestyle, by Jack Rinella (Daedalus Publishing, 1992).
Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance & Submission, by Gloria Brame, William Brame and John Jacobs (Villard, 1993).
Erotic Slavehood: A Miss Abernathy Omnibus, by Christina Abernathy (Greenery Press, 2007).
Exhibitionism for the Shy, by Carol Queen (Down There Press, 1995).
Leatherfolk: Radical Sex, People, Politics, and Practice, edited by Mark Thompson (Alyson Publications, 1991).
Leathersex: A Guide for the Curious Outsider and the Serious Player, by Joseph Bean (Daedalus Publishing, 1994).
Look into My Eyes: How to Use Hypnosis to Bring Out the Best in Your Sex Life, by Peter Masters (Greenery Press, 2001).
The Loving Dominant, by John Warren and Libby Warren (Greenery Press, 3rd edition, 2008).
Master/slave Relations: Handbook of Theory and Practice, by Robert Rubel Ph.D. (Nazca Plains Corp, 2007).
The Multi-Orgasmic Couple: Sexual Secrets Every Couple Should Know, by Mantak Chia Maneewan Chia, Douglas Abrams and Rachel Abrams, MD (HarperCollins, 2000).
The New Bottoming Book, by Janet Hardy and Dossie Easton (Greenery Press, 2nd edition, 2001).
The New Topping Book, by Janet Hardy and Dossie Easton (Greenery Press, 2nd edition, 2003).
On the Safe Edge: A Manual for SM Play, by Trevor Jacques (Alternate Sources, 1993).
Philosophy in the Dungeon, The Magic of Sex & Spirit, by Jack Rinella (Rinella Editorial Services, 2006).
Protocols: Handbook for the female slave, by Robert Rubel, PhD (Nazca Plains Corp, 2nd edition, 2006).
Re/Search #12: Modern Primitives, edited by V. Vale and Andrea Juno (Re/ Search Publications, 1989).
Ropes, Bondage, and Power, edited by Lee Harrington (Nazca Plains Corp, 2009).
Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns:
The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism, by Molly Devon and Phillip Miller (Mystic Rose Books, 1995).
Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving, by Betty Dodson (Crown Publishing, 1996).
SlaveCraft: Roadmaps for Erotic Servitude, by Guy Baldwin (Daedalus Publishing, 2002).
SM 101: A Realistic Approach, by Jay Wiseman (Greenery Press, 1998).
Ties That Bind: The SM/Leather/Fetish Erotic Style: Issues, Commentaries and Advice, by Guy Baldwin (Daedalus Publishing, 1993).
The Toybag Guide to Age Play, by Lee Harrington (Greenery Press, 2008).
To Love, to Obey, to Serve: Diary of an Old Guard Slave, by Vi Johnson (Mystic Rose, 1999).
Urban Aboriginals: A Celebration of Leathersexuality, by Geoff Mains (Daedalus Publishing, 20th anniversary edition, 2002).
The Whole Lesbian Sex Book: A Passionate Guide for All of Us, by Felice Newman (Cleis Press, 2nd edition, 2004).
Relationships
Building the Team: Cooperative Power Dynamic Relationships, by Raven Kaldera & Joshua Tenpenny (Alfred Press, 2014).
The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures, by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy (Celestial Arts, 2nd edition, 2009).
Intellectual Foreplay: A Book of Questions for Lovers and Lovers-to-Be, by Eve Hogan (Hunter House, 2000).
Open: Love, Sex and Life in an Open Marriage, by Jenny Block (Seal Press, 2009).
Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships, by Tristan Taormino (Cleis Press, 2008).
Pagan Polyamory: Becoming a Tribe of Hearts, by Raven Kaldera (Llewellyn Publications, 2005).
Partners in Power: Living in Kinky Relationships, by Jack Rinella (Greenery Press, 2003).
Polyamory: Roadmaps for the Clueless & Hopeful, by Anthony Ravenscroft (Crossquarter Publishing, 2004).
Spiritual Polyamory, by Mystic Life (iUniverse, 2003).
Swinging for Beginners: An Introduction to the Lifestyle, by Kaye Bellemeade (New Tradition Books, 2008).
Unequal by Design: Counseling Power Dynamic Relationships, by Sabrina Popp, M.D. & Raven Kaldera (Asphodel Press, 2014).
Tantra and Sex Magic
The Art of Sexual Ecstasy: The Path of Sacred Spirituality for Western Lovers, by Margo Anand (Tarcher, 1989).
Eastern Body, Western Mind: Psychology and the Chakra System as a Path to the Self, by Judith Anodea (Celestial Arts, 2004).
The Encyclopedia of Sacred Sexuality:
From Aphrodisiacs and Ecstasy to Yoni Worship and Zap-Lam Yoga, by Rufus C. Camphausen (Inner Traditions, 1999).
The Essence of Tantric Sexuality, by Mark Michaels and Patricia Johnson (Llewellyn Worldwide, 2006).
Magia Sexualis: Sex, Magic, and Liberation in Modern Western Esotericism, by Hugh B. Urban (University of California Press, 2006).
Modern Sex Magic: Secrets for Erotic Spirituality, by Donald Michael Kraig (Llewellyn, 2002).
The Red Goddess, by Peter Grey (Scarlet Imprint, 2011).
Taboo: Sex, Religion & Magick, by Christopher and Lon Milo DuQuette (New Falcon Publications, 2nd edition, 2001).
Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century, by Barbara Carrellas (Celestial Arts, 2007).
Yoga Mind, Body & Spirit: A Return to Wholeness, by Donna Farhi (Holt Paperbacks, 2000).
Spirituality and Magic
Anatomy of the Spirit: The Seven Stages of Power and Healing, by Caroline Myss, PhD (Harmony Books, 1996).
Angel Tech: A Modern Shaman’s Guide to Reality Selection, by Antero Alli (New Falcon, 1991).
Dealing With Deities: Practical Polytheistic Theology, by Raven Kaldera (Asphodel Press, 2012).
Drawing Down the Spirits: The Traditions and Techniques of Spirit Possession, by Kenaz Filan and Raven Kaldera (Destiny Books, 2009).
Ecstatic Ritual, by Brandy Williams (Megalithica Books, 2nd edition, 2008).
The Ethical Psychic Vampire, by Raven Kaldera (Ellhorn Press, 2009).
Evolutionary Witchcraft, by T. Thorn Coyle (Tarcher, 2005).
Hermaphrodeities: The Transgender Spirituality Workbook, by Raven Kaldera (Asphodel Press, 2009).
Info-Psychology: A Revision of Exo-Psychology, by Timothy Leary (New Falcon Publications, 2nd edition, 1987).
Kissing the Limitless: Deep Magic and the Great Work of Transforming Yourself and the World, by T. Thorn Coyle (Weiser Books, 2009).
The Power of Myth, by Joseph Campbell (Anchor, 1991).
&nbs
p; Principia Discordia, Or, How I Found Goddess and What I Did to Her When I
Found Her: The Magnum Opiate of Malaclypse the Younger (Loompanics Unlimited, 2nd edition, 1980).
Prometheus Rising, by Robert Anton Wilson (New Falcon Publications, 1992).
The Psychic Vampire Codex: A Manual of Magick and Energy Work, by Michelle Belanger (Weiser Books, 2004).
A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”, by Marianne Williamson (Harper Paperbacks, 1996).
Rites of Pleasure: Sexuality in Wicca and Neo-Paganism, by Jennifer Hunter (Citadel, 2004).
Sacred Contracts: Awakening Your Divine Potential, by Caroline Myss (Three Rivers Press, 2003).
Sacred Pain: Hurting the Body for the Sake of the Soul, by Ariel Glucklich (Oxford University Press, 2003).
Sex and Drugs: A Journey Beyond Limits, by Robert Anton Wilson (New Falcon Publications, 1987).
The Tree of Ecstasy: An Advanced Manual of Sexual Magic, by Dolores Ashcroft-Nowicki (Red Wheel / Weiser, 1999).
Uncle Setnakt’s Essential Guide to the Left Hand Path, by Don Webb and Stephen Flowers (Runa-Raven, 1999).
The Urban Primitive: Paganism in the Concrete Jungle, by Raven Kaldera and Tannin Schwartzstein (Llewellyn, 2002).
Wiccan Magick: Inner Teachings of the Craft, by Raven Grimassi (Llewellyn, 2002).
In The Flesh
Though there are MANY groups, events, locations and intensives on both kink and spiritual exploration of every stripe, the following are the publicly accessible ones that have some sort of Sacred Kink leaning, special interest group or track, or compatibility. Amazingly, new ones are popping up all the time!
Groups
Adventures in Sexuality [AIS] (OH) — http://adventuresinsexuality.org
Arizona Power Exchange [APEX] (AZ) — http://www.arizonapowerexchange.org
Bay Area Sacred Kink [BASK] (CA) — https://fetlife.com/groups/58632
The Eightfold Paths of BDSM and Beyond Page 43
