by Abbi Glines
“Catalina,” Rathe’s voice called out to me, and I inhaled deeply.
“Heath is calling me,” I told him with difficulty. My throat was thick from the sudden return of emotion.
“Ignore him. I’ll text him. Now, Favorite movie?” His voice was soothing. It made me want to answer his questions just to hear him talk some more. I found that odd. Craving the sound of a voice was new for me.
“Too many to name,” I replied, after a moment.
“Fair enough. What was your favorite movie as a kid then?” he asked.
“Anne of Green Gables.”
“You read the books, too,” he said with confidence. It wasn’t a question. He was making a statement.
“They were my favorites.”
“Did you read Little Women, too?” he asked.
“Of course,” I replied, as if that was a silly question. Because it was.
“Favorite chip?” he then asked.
“Chip?” I asked, the word seeming out of place when we had just been talking about books and movies.
“Food. Snack item made from potato or corn sometimes rice.” There was a softness to his tone, and I liked it. I wanted to hear more of it and see his mouth when he spoke. That was an off-limit thought.
“Takis,” I said quickly, needing to stop my train of thought.
“So you like spicy then?” he asked. “I wouldn’t have guessed that.”
I was expecting him to ask me something else, and I was anxious to hear him talk more, when a knock on my window startled me. I didn’t want to be interrupted. This was a moment I wanted to hold onto. There was sadness clawing at me, but his voice was keeping that from taking over. When I looked up to see who it was, Rathe was there. All six foot three inches of gorgeous man. I stared at him, confused, then I went to unlock my door. The second the lock released, he jerked my door open.
“Let me drive,” he said, holding out his hand toward me. I looked at his hand, and our handshake yesterday flashed in my mind and how embarrassed I’d been then. Now, here he was coming to drive me because I had lost a friend. Mattia was my boss, but he had also been a friend. He had cared for me and the rest of his employees. He asked us about our lives and family. He had been more than just our boss. Tears stung my eyes, and I knew I was going to cry again. The distraction of Rathe’s voice and his questions no longer kept me from thinking of the horrible news.
Rathe pulled me up out of the driver’s seat and wrapped his arms around me in a hug. He smelled of sandalwood and something else dark and masculine that made me want to cling to him for several reasons. As delicious as the smell on his skin was, it didn’t take away the pain of knowing my friend was gone.
“Get it out. Go ahead and cry,” he said. “You’re not alone now.”
I would always be alone. He didn’t understand that nor had he ever felt alone, I was sure. Not my kind of alone. He hadn’t meant it that way, of course. He meant I was no longer alone in my car crying by myself. The truth of my loneliness added to the grief. He was so very wrong. I was alone. In everything.
I cried. This time it wasn’t silent tears. I sobbed as I thought of poor Greta. I couldn’t imagine Greta without Mattia. They’d been together for forty-five years this last August. They were always together. You didn’t see one without the other. Would she feel as if she had lost part of herself? How horrible that would be to love and be loved so deeply for most of your life then lose that person. That other half gone suddenly and you were left to keep going. Life didn’t stop, and you had to find a way to fight through the darkness and live. My heart ached for her, for her children and grandchildren who loved him so deeply. He’d been their center.
Yet, as painful as it would be, they were lucky they had experienced it. They’d known his love. Having him and losing him was better than never having him. My tears slowed as I thought of my father. His death had broken my heart. I’d been lost for a while, but his memory lived on and gave me strength. Once, I hadn’t been alone. For a few short years, I’d had a father who loved me. The crying had been for the loss of Mattia and the pain his family would experience, but I was crying for me, too. The little girl who had been loved once. The girl who had lost the only person on earth she knew loved her unconditionally. The loss at a time I didn’t know loneliness. The woman I had become was an expert at being alone. Heath and Margo loved me. I knew that, but the truth about me that they didn’t know would always cloud that for me. If they really knew me, would they love me?
“Are you ready to ride? I’ll take you wherever you want to go.” Rathe’s voice was deeper than normal. I stood there, not wanting to move from his embrace, but knowing I couldn’t stand here forever. Facing life and the ugliness that it held was there ahead of me. Clinging to Rathe wouldn’t make that go away. I let him go and stepped back. The warmth from his body began to fade, but I could smell him still on my shirt. I wish I could bottle that scent.
“Thanks,” I said, wiping at my face with the back of my hand. I was thankful there was no eye makeup to be smeared all over my cheeks. Even in the midst of heartbreak, I was still aware that I was standing in front of a beautiful man. I couldn’t help wishing my eyes weren’t red and swollen as he studied me. He wanted friendship and that was all I had to give. This should be a perfect situation. It would have been had I not craved him in a way that made my body act crazily around him. He wasn’t meant for me. No man was meant for me. I needed to remember that.
His hand reached down and clasped mine. Just that warm connection made me feel at peace. If only the world had been different. If only I hadn’t been born charmed. I could have wanted him then. I could have crushed on him and wished he liked me back.
Without a word, he walked me around to the passenger side of the car and opened it for me to get inside. He wasn’t perfect either. I knew that. He had flaws even if they weren’t physical. Everyone had flaws. His flaws were forgivable. Mine weren’t. Mine were a curse.
The kindness he was showing me made the flaws he did have seem unimportant. I could easily forget the playboy that Rathe was if I allowed myself to get wrapped up in his current chivalry. There had to be a reason he had come to get me. People did kind things but I’d found they chose the kind things they did when the action benefited them as well. No one wanted to admit it, but every human had a vein of selfishness they didn’t want to acknowledge.
“Why did you come?” I asked.
“We’re friends. I told you I would be an excellent friend,” he replied.
I didn’t expect the truth. He was human after all. He may not even realize he had a selfish reason for coming to my rescue. I wasn’t going to hold that against him. I just needed to remember it and not let my needy soul live in the fantasyland others seemed to do.
I gave a weak smile because I had no honest response to his answer. Telling him that human nature didn’t work that way would make me sound ungrateful, and I was very grateful. For whatever reason he came today, he had made it easier to bear. “Thank you,” I finally said, before getting inside my car. He deserved a thank you at least.
He wasn’t going to be my best friend. I had two of those. He was going to be my biggest heartache. I didn’t need a fortune teller to tell me that. I was already slightly cracked because of him. He was too damn charming. He should have been born a Kamlock. Even without magical blood and the ability to cast spells, he could charm a room full of females. He’d managed to charm me, and I was the one who had been born charmed.
That thought made me grin.
Fifteen
The Wine
Sitting on the sofa wrapped in Margo’s red fuzzy blanket, I pretended to watch an episode of The Office that I had seen several times. The Office was my go to show when I needed a laugh. Tonight, it wasn’t working. I found humor in nothing.
Heath was sitting beside me, and he didn’t appear to be watching the television either. Glanc
ing at him, I noticed he was busy texting someone, but I didn’t look over to see who. Heath had been single longer than his norm. When he had said he was taking a break from women, I hadn’t believed that would last as long as it had. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was texting a new romantic interest. Hopefully this time he found one that wasn’t crazy. It was highly doubtful, though. Heath attracted the worst females.
Margo was flirting with Duely in the kitchen. He’d come over to cook dinner even though I wasn’t sure how good Duely’s cooking was. His fridge had been pathetic this morning, but anything was better than Margo’s cooking. Duely also knew I’d want to go back to his place tonight. He’d come over with the excuse of cooking for us when it was just a way to check on me. There had been no sign of the stalking warlock though. I’d told him as much in a quiet whisper after he arrived. Although I’d spent the majority of the day inside this apartment, the idea that he might show up here worried me. I’d cast a protection around the building earlier, but I didn’t know if I was strong enough for whatever he was. I wouldn’t bring danger to my friends. Duely and I both being here was probably safer for them than my not being here at all.
As much as I wanted to see Greta and hug her while silently placing a rune of peace and ease around her, I knew she was surrounded by her family. She needed them more than she needed an incantation. Magic wasn’t always the answer. It manipulated things, and, often, that was to benefit fate, but I believed the love of family was stronger. I didn’t have that, but I had seen its power in others.
The staff at Grandezzas had met earlier at the restaurant to help clean up and put things away. It had been the only time I left the apartment. Heath had picked me up and taken me there. So many tears and sad hearts. It only spoke of the impact Mattia had on everyone. He’d cared for his employees, and this place had felt like a home for me. For others that weren’t as misplaced as me in life, it had been a place they enjoyed working because of the way we were treated.
Even after death, Mattia was taking care of everyone. The doors were closing for an indefinite amount of time, but everyone was given a check that covered two weeks’ worth of salary and tips. We were sent home with food as the kitchen was cleared out. Greta had family here, and she could use the food, but Jacque said she insisted the employees take the food. She was struggling with us all being without a job, but we all completely understood her need to close the doors. I couldn’t see her here without Mattia. The idea of it seemed so wrong and depressing.
The amount of food we’d been sent home with was why we were cooking tonight and not just ordering take out. There was too much food to fit in the fridge at Heath and Margo’s apartment. Duely had brought a cooler, and Heath had filled it with food when I had said Duely had an empty fridge.
Normally, being surrounded by Heath, Margo, and Duely would be enjoyable. They were the only three people on the planet I loved. They were the closest thing I would ever have to a family. I wanted to believe my grief was what had me so down. I’m sure part of it was just that. The sadness of this day was overwhelming. I was well aware of my faults and acknowledged them. I had fought my nature from the time I understood the ugly inside me. I knew that my current mood had much to do with Rathe’s absence. I wasn’t happy about it, and I wished I could make this longing I seemed to be experiencing for the man stop. I could make a man want me with magic; I could make him do anything I wanted. But I couldn’t make myself feel a certain way. I had no control over my emotions with magic. No manipulating myself. Which sucked about right now. I wanted him here. That was dangerous for him and for me. I did not need to be attached to him; yet, here I was… attached.
“Tell this woman that Italian food requires garlic,” Duely called from the opening to the kitchen.
“Ignore her. She likes garlic; she’s just worried about her breath stinking,” Heath replied.
I heard Duely’s laughter and then some giggling from Margo. We could see them when they were at the bar, but there was a wall between where we sat on the sofa and the stove area in the kitchen. I wasn’t sure what the giggling was about, but Duely had promised not to do anything with Margo or to give her the wrong idea. We’d had that talk years ago. I refreshed his memory regularly. He seemed to need it when he was around anyone he found attractive.
“She’s enjoying his attention,” Heath said with a smirk. “When he’s flirting, she forgets that his bisexuality confuses her.”
The power the Kamlock’s possessed was something I would not use on a man; however, Duely had been doing it with others so long, it came natural to him. His smile held a certain amount of bewitchment. It was part of the Kamlock curse that I countered with the spell I had placed around me to do the opposite with men.
“Most people do. Duely is charming. Lethally so,” I explained the best I could.
“Your family all seems to have that charm thing going for them,” he replied, as if he had read my mind. If he only knew just how charming they all were. It was worse than anything he could imagine. Not knowing was what would keep them safe.
“I’m afraid so,” I agreed, in a forlorn voice I hadn’t meant to show. I was tired from last night and today. Keeping my emotions in check and hidden was proving to be difficult when I was worn down. I needed to try harder.
He reached over and placed his hand over mine. “You doing okay?” he asked, lowering his voice. He’d noticed my tone. I had expected him to. Heath was observant when he cared.
“Yeah. I’m glad Greta has her kids with her,” I paused, then added, “We need to go on a job search.” I wanted to change the subject. My emotions were raw enough. The truth was Heath and I both needed an income and quickly. The check we had gotten from Grandezzas was helpful and gave us a small cushion. Heath had rent to pay and I wanted to have a rent to pay. I was close to saving up enough to get a place of my own with the security that I could afford it for the first six months, without needing my weekly paycheck. I still held the dream that I could go to community college and get my nursing degree.
He frowned. “I’ve been thinking about it, too. Not sure where to go look. You thinking of another server job?”
I hadn’t thought that far, but I needed to. Working at another restaurant for someone else seemed too sad. Maybe discussing a job right now wasn’t the best idea. There didn’t seem to be a topic that could distract me.
I shrugged in response and looked down at his hand over mine. How normal that felt, how comfortable, how easy. There was no racing heart or silly butterflies. It was just Heath. He wasn’t work to be around. No having to keep myself in check.
Sighing because my thoughts kept going to Rathe, I wished I didn’t think about him so much. He hadn’t said where he was going tonight. He’d been dressed in jeans, a black button up shirt, and his hair was brushed and tucked neatly behind his ears. He’d smelled more heavenly than earlier today. I’d been able to smell him from across the room.
The only explanation for his appearance had to be a girl. He had a date and didn’t want to bring it up after the day we’d had around here. The slight pain in my chest at the thought of him being with another female tonight frustrated me, and I pushed it aside. I should focus on my friends and think about anything else. It was difficult, though, when the memory of him asking me easy but pointless questions to distract me kept replaying in my mind. Duely had nothing on Rathe when it came to charm. Rathe’s was natural, with no magical enhancements. Although I’d never mention that to Duely. I realized then that Heath was looking at me, clearly waiting on more of a response than my casual shrug. Deciding I needed to say something when I realized Heath was looking at me
“I think I may look at some other places. I want to eventually take classes at the community college. I won’t ever get a four-year degree from a University they way y’all will, but I don’t require it to become a nurse.” There was no bitterness in my words. I was thankful my friends were given the chance to atte
nd Delvaux. They both wanted careers that would require a four-year degree from a university.
I’d been offered no scholarships because I hadn’t applied for any. I had been a very mediocre student on purpose. A family with my mother’s wealth didn’t qualify for financial help either. My dad hadn’t left anything to me, but then, he wasn’t expecting to die so soon. Everything had been left to my mother, which was the Kamlock way. They made sure it was all theirs. No sharing with the offspring. Which is fine. The Delvaux money my mother had was blood money. Evil money. I didn’t want what my mother stole from my father.
“You’re talented, you’re smart, you’re beautiful,” Heath paused then after saying I was beautiful. I wasn’t sure he’d ever said that to me. Was he as surprised as I was? I glanced up at him, and he was staring at me with a nervous expression. “You have a world of opportunities. A degree from Delvaux isn’t required to have opportunities. You could do anything you wanted.” He said all that too quickly and his voice held too much inflection.
I saw something there in his gaze then. Tensing up, I wondered if Duely was right? Had I missed it, and somewhere along the way, Heath had developed feelings for me? Was the time he spent around me too much and some of that damn cursed charm leaked through? Had I not been on guard with him, and let something slip? Could Heath feel something for me more than friendship because of who I was? If he was feeling something for me, it had to be the magic in my blood drawing him, not just me. We had been friends for most of our life. A natural attraction to me wouldn’t suddenly be developing. If Duely was right then this was the damn Kamlock curse getting to him.
“Who wants a drink of this expensive ass wine that Heath brought back?” Duely asked, walking into the living room with two wine glasses full of a lovely red color liquid. It was a welcomed distraction, and I wanted to hug Duely for it. He had no idea how awkward things were about to get in here if we were left alone. Heath looked like he was planning on saying more mushy things or singing my praises. No, not Heath. I could not let Heath be affected by my jinxed blood.
