by Abbi Glines
He looked like he’d had a rough day. His hair was extra tousled and messy. His shirt was the same one he’d had on at six this morning, and his eyes appeared exhausted. “Can I come in?” he asked. There was a heaviness in his tone, and I wondered if he was here to tell me bad news. I didn’t want to hear more bad news. If I couldn’t get a break from Rathe then I at least needed a break from bad news.
Stepping back, I let him inside, knowing this was only going to make things harder on me. It seemed the more I was around him the more attached I got. Maybe if I emersed myself with Rathe’s presence, I could become immune to it. That was supposed to work, wasn’t it? If I was around him enough, he may start to get on my nerves. I could start looking for things about him that annoyed me.
He was looking at my messy floor.
“I was working. What’s up?” I tried to sound casual. Get this over with.
He glanced back over his shoulder at me. I was keeping a bit of distance from him. “You got a job?”
I gave a short nod. “Yep. I’m a personal assistant to a lady who designs purses.”
His small smile was a pleased one. “I bet that pays well.”
I gave another nod. I wasn’t telling him how much. I hadn’t told anyone but Duely that. I felt like he deserved all the details since he got me the interview.
“Good for you, Catalina,” he said with a touch of pride in his voice.
“Duely got me the interview,” I admitted. I didn’t want to take the credit for getting a job like this one. I would have never known this kind of job existed for someone like me.
“He did her a favor. Not you,” he replied, still looking as if he was proud of me.
I gave a small shrug, feeling a bit embarassed by this subtle praise. “My boss is the most eccentric person I have ever met. I can barely keep up with anything she says. Luckily, she has a manager named Barney, and he translates her... chaos,” I said and realized I suddenly wanted to tell Rathe all about it. This could be a good thing. Friends talked about things. I liked talking to Margo and Heath, too.
“I hope I get to meet her,” he said, sounding sincere.
“If you do meet her, sit down and buckle up for the ride, because she will talk nonstop jumping from one thing to the next so fast your head will spin.”
He gave a low chuckle that made my skin tingle. “You started today then? Right after the interview?” he asked, glancing back at all the papers and files on the floor.
“Not exactly. She left for a show in New York today right after she hired me. This is all the info Barney gave me to go over before I start in two days.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Damn. That’s a lot to remember.”
I nodded slowly in agreement.
We stood there quiet a moment. Why was he here? He had come in asking questions, but he’d not explained why he’d come to see me. If he was delaying because it was something I wasn’t going to want to hear then I wanted to get it over with.
“Why are you here, Rathe?” I asked.
The corners of his mouth lifted barely. It wasn’t a smile really but a weak attempt at one. “To see you,” he replied. “I was going to make up some bullshit lie, so I had an excuse to come here, but that’s not fair. I owe you the truth. And the truth is that I wanted to see you.”
Not what I was expecting at all. Not even in the vicinity of what I was expecting him to say.
“I’m supposed to pick up this girl I met in my Ecology class. She’s nice. She made me laugh. We seemed to click. I asked her out for tonight during class on Friday. When I got in my car to go get her, I found myself driving here.” He paused and shook his head as if he was dissapointed. “I heard Heath tell Margo that you had moved out of your mom’s place, and you were staying here until you found your own place.” He turned around to face me completely. His hands were tucked in the front pockets of his jeans, and his shoulders slumped slightly. “I didn’t want to go pick up someone else. I wanted to see you. And that’s a problem, Catalina.”
Yes, it was a problem. One I didn’t expect. Sure, I was fighting my own crush on him but he couldn’t feel the same. I didn’t want to ever hurt Rathe, and I was a Kamlock. We were toxic for men. Even if I was different, even if I didn’t have my sisters around to ruin things like they had with Cody, even if I was older now and smarter, he was not safe around me.
“Last night, that was the hardest fucking thing I’ve ever done. Stopping us... making myself stop touching you, kissing you, feeling you. I can’t get it out of my head. The feel of your body, the way you taste, I can’t stop thinking about it. You want me to keep my distance, and I did my best. I tried so motherfucking hard to stay away, and I lasted less than a day. The longer I stayed away from you the more I wanted you. I asked another woman out, thinking it would help get you out of my head... and I can’t even go pick her up.”
Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. I backed away from him. Distance. I needed him to move across the room and give me a minute to catch my breath and calm my racing heart. Words should not have this effect. He shouldn’t be able to make me feel like he’d just kissed me senseless with just words.
“You want distance. You want to get over whatever you’re feeling for me. You need time to start thinking of me as a friend.” He lifted the corner of his mouth and flashed his dimple. “I’m not sure I can stay away from you, Catalina.”
I closed my eyes tightly. I was already a ball of emotions about to come unhinged at any moment. I did not need to see him dejected. Or his freaking dimple. The things he was saying to me were all things I desperately craved to hear. From the first moment I saw him, I knew he was trouble. I just didn’t know he was going to be this kind of trouble.
I had to snap out of this silly infatuation. Rathe didn’t know how badly he’d regret this. How he’d wish he’d never met me. I was poison. I fought it, and I did my best to be normal, but if I allowed myself to lose control of anything. Especially, my heart. If I let myself freely fall for this man, I could lose control. I had no idea what could happen and that scared me.
“Were you attracted to me the first time you saw me?” I asked, opening my eyes to see his expression. To know if he was lying. I had to understand why Rathe had been drawn to me when I had successfully kept guys away from me for years.
“Catalina, not to sound shallow because what I’m feeling has little to do with your physical appearance, but there is no man or woman on earth that can just look at you and not be struck by you. You’re beautiful.”
That description should not have made me want to throw myself in his arms, but it did. I had resented my beauty all of my life. Until this very moment. Until Rathe said I was beautiful.
“Most men don’t see me the way you do,” I whispered, not knowing why he saw past my repelling charm.
“They’re probably dazzled but intimidated. You don’t seem to welcome attention and that can scare men off,” he explained, as if that made complete sense. He was wrong. I knew it was the spell that kept them away. Without that spell, men would treat me like they did my sisters.
“You weren’t dazzled when we first met. You walked away easy enough and went to play your drinking game.” I tried hard not to sound jealous or insecure.
He laughed, soft and low, then he took a step in my direction. His eyes never leaving mine. “I was so dazzled that when Margo announced you weren’t into men, I was relieved. I thought it would keep me from chasing you like I assumed every man you met did. I didn’t want to be like the others. I didn’t come to Savannah expecting to feel like this. To lose my mind over a girl. This wasn’t in the plans.”
I laughed then. “ I didn’t plan on you either. I’ve always been careful with men and kept my distance.”
“You let Heath get close,” he said, without a smile. “Heath is so in love with you, he would drop anything and anyone for you. Even his sister. He worships you. He doesn�
�t remember a time he didn’t love you. He picks horrid females to date because he knows he won’t hurt them. He won’t break their heart. He won’t date a female who may fall in love with him because he loves you. And I fucking hate it. I’m so damn jealous every time you touch him or smile at him.” He ran a hand through his hair as if frustrated. “When I came home and he was sitting so close to you and feeding you, I cracked. I couldn’t take it. I had to get you away from him, and you came to me so easily.” He closed the rest of the space between us, stopping only inches from me. I didn’t move. I should have moved away and stopped this entire conversation, but I didn’t. I didn’t know how.
“Heath isn’t in love with me,” was all I could say. Breathing was a bit of a struggle at the moment.
Rathe lifted a hand and ran the back of his fingers along my jaw, so very slowly, while he studied my lips. I stopped breathing completely. His eyes were that strange steel blue color again when he met my gaze. “Catalina, he had no choice but to fall in love with you. Your outward beauty attracts men, but when someone gets close to you, they get to see what’s inside. They get to hear your smart mouth,” he said with a smirk. “When people see how selfless and kind you are, how deeply you care for those you love. It’s impossible not to fall in love with you. There’s something incredibly unique and rare about you.”
There was something unique about me alright, but not the qualities he’d just used to describe me. He didn’t know I was a liar, he didn’t know I had a cursed soul, he didn’t know there was a darkness coursing through my veins that I had to fight back every single day. He didn’t know loving me would be his worst mistake.
“You can’t love me,” I said the words needing them to be true. As much as my heart wanted to hear him say he loved me, he couldn’t. Shouldn’t.
Rathe cupped my face with both of his hands and tilted it back so that I was staring directly up at him. I had to tell myself to breathe. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. “I may not love you...yet, but I could. So easily.”
Oh. Hell.
I closed my eyes unable to keep looking into that deep steel gaze of his and remain standing. “Breathe, Catalina,” he whispered, as his lips softly brushed my cheek then my closed eyelid.
I obeyed and inhaled deeply.
“I came here for other reasons, but you changed it all.”
Here, as in this apartment, or here, as in Savannah? His mouth continued to trail kisses over my face and his scent was making me drunk. All the yearning I’d fought so hard to control broke free of any hold I had remotely had on it. There was no power strong enough to keep me from what he was offering. The greedy hunger to hold on to him as tightly as I could, terrified me; yet, I knew that terror wasn’t enough to stop me.
His lips brushed mine, and I opened my lips demanding more. The aggressivness of my kiss flipped a switch. Rathe’s sweet embrace of my face ended and his hands went to my waist gripping me tightly. With a hard tug, he pulled me up against him, causing me to gasp with the slamming of our bodies. I reached up and buried my hands in his hair that I always longed to touch. Tangling my fingers in his perfect locks, I savored the freedom to do as I wanted.
Lifting me up until my feet left the ground, Rathe broke the kiss. “Wrap your legs around me,” he demanded. Then he pulled me up until my legs clung to his waist, locking my ankles at his back. His mouth was back on mine. I felt heady with excitement as he kissed me senseless.
Rathe’s warm hard hands slid beneath the soft cotton of my worn tee shirt. I shivered with anticipation as he moved over my heated skin until both of his large palms covered my bare breasts. I moaned into his mouth, and he moved his head back, breaking the kiss, his eyes locking with mine. Both of us were breathing heavily as we just stared at one another for a moment.
A deep sound rumbled in his chest before he pulled my shirt over my head and tossed it aside. “Where’s your bed here?” he asked me. He was already walking toward the two doors behind me. I held onto his shoulders as he carried me, still wrapped around him. “The one to the left,” I said breathless with excitement.
He opened the cracked door with a gentle kick, and we were inside the darkness of the room. The full moon beamed like a spotlight on the bed as if it had been ready for this and was setting the mood. Rathe put me down on the bed, then immediately took his shirt off by unbuttoning only the top three buttons and pulling it over his head, not bothering with the rest of them. The sight of his bare chest filled me with euphoria.
I watched as his hands moved to his jeans, and although he wasn’t going slow, it felt like my own personal erotic strip tease. My desire for him was building, second by second, as he stepped out of his jeans. I had only a moment to take in the size of him. That was more than I expected. Rathe reached out taking my hand and pulling me up from the bed before I could decide if it would fit or kill me.
As his hands moved to my shorts and began slowly lowering them down my hips, I felt my entire body flush. I’d never stood naked in front of a man. That one time with Cody had been in the dark and clumsy, and we hadn’t even gotten all our clothing off.
My shorts dropped to the floor once he got them past my hips, and I stepped out of them, then moved them aside with my foot. I still had on black lace and silk panties. Rathe didn’t take his hands from my waist, but he took a step back and stared down at me. I wished I was more experienced at this. At least the darkness hid my blushing. Or I hoped it did.
“Sweet Jesus,” he said in a hoarse whisper. I knew my body was attractive. My family genetics made sure of it, but hearing Rathe’s obvious appreciation made the awkwardness I was feeling vanish. He touched the thin straps of my panties and I inhaled sharply when he began moving those down my hips, too. When they slid down to the floor, I was completely bare. I didn’t have to step out of them because he was lifting me again and placing me tenderly on my back in the center of the fullsized bed. Rathe’s body leaning over me and illuminated only by moonlight made him look otherwordly. Too beautiful to be real.
“Catalina,” he whispered my name, making me tremble
“Yes,” I whispered back.
He inhaled deeply as if he’d forgotten to breathe. My eyes moved down his body, eager to see all of him. I wanted this. Every fiber of my body wanted him.
“You keep looking at it like that and this is going to be over real damn soon. My self-control is real fucking weak at this point,” he said, and my gaze snapped back up to meet his dark eyes.
His dark expression was exciting. “You are going to fucking destroy me, and I will relish every moment.”
Lowering himself over me, he held my gaze until he was only inches from my face. His elbows pressed into the bed beside my head, enveloping me in his embrace. His eyes flared and he lowered his head to the curve of my neck. “I swear I can’t get enough of you.” His breath hot against my skin. “You’ve bewitched me.”
He had no idea how true his words were.
He began to kiss my neck, taking small bites and licks along my skin, causing my thoughts to go to mush. His body was heavy on top of mine but I relished its weight. I felt possessed by him. His hands closed over my knees and eased them up and out slightly, while he moved his thick, long erection between my open thighs. Rathe stilled his body and lifted his head to look down into my eyes.
As I stared up into his, I saw the frenzy, excitement, turmoil, madness, and anticipation that neither of us could express in words. He slid inside me slowly, the feeling of our bodies joining unlike anything I’d ever imagined. The urge to get as close to him as humanly possible came over me and I lifted my hips, clinging to his arms and not wanting there to be any part of us that wasn’t touching.
“Fuck,” he groaned and his eyes closed tightly as he hissed out a breath. “I expected you to feel like paradise but, holy hell, this is motherfucking nirvana.” He started to slide out and I dug my nails into his arms, not ready for this to
end. His jaw clenched and his nostrils flared as he began to slide back in. The slow rocking of our bodies caused pressure to build inside me, starting from the pulsing buzz that had been there the first time he ever touched me.
I begged, I panted his name, I made noises I’d never made before, and I couldn’t get close enough. I wanted there to be no beginning and end to us.
Our lovemaking grew faster and harder. The slapping of our bodies only added to my delirium. It was as if Rathe was trying to bind us permanently. “Goddamn,” he said and I felt his body tremble against me. His hand slid up my thigh, pressing my knee back so that he could get even deeper inside me. “You make me so fucking crazy,” he said with a growl. “Nothing should feel this damn good.”
It was his words, the way he was looking at me, our bodies being so close and touching everywhere, it was all of it that sent waves of pleasure slamming through me. A bolt of ecstasy shot through my body and exploded into a million pieces.
I screamed Rathe’s name and clung to him, afraid I’d lose him in this unknown bliss. I wanted him with me. He shouted and I heard my name come from him as if it had been torn from his chest. He was there with me.
When the rapture began to ease enough that I could open my eyes again, Rathe wrapped me in his arms and rolled to his side, taking me with him. His eyes were still closed. He was panting and there was a fierceness in his brow and line of his mouth. I reached up and ran a finger over his lips, not sure what he was feeling. My body was still humming from everything that had just happened between us and I wanted him to feel the same. I needed him to feel the same.
His fingers wrapped around my wrist then and his eyes opened. I stared at him and the same fierceness was there in his gaze. “I won’t give you up,” he said in a thick voice.
“Good,” I replied. All the reasons we shouldn’t be together no longer seemed important. There was no way I could give him up, either.
“Is it good, Catalina?” he asked then.
