“I hate you.” Freya looked at him, wild-eyed, as the door closed. “Why did I let you talk me into this? I can’t do this!”
Lewis urged her to keep her voice down, and he struggled to keep from laughing.
“What do you mean? You did great!” he whispered to her. “Well, you were a little rocky at the start, but you finished off with the fake tears like a pro. Getting into the bedroom for the first time is the tricky part, and we are already here. Nice work.” He lay down on the bed and stretched out with his hands behind his head. “We need to stay in here long enough to look like you slept. Perhaps you should actually get some rest.”
Freya looked at him uncertainly. She did not feel comfortable going to sleep with him beside her.
“Look, I know the gentlemanly thing to do would be to offer you the bed while I sleep on the floor, but the fact is, we could be here for years. Just come lay down. You will get used to me being here.”
She stared at him, not sure what to do. He was right. This wouldn’t be a quick mission, and this was something she had to get used to, but it was still difficult.
“I won’t try anything.”
“Yeah, I’ve heard that before,” she said, and then lay down with her back to Lewis. She laid there with her eyes wide open, unable to sleep.
Lewis found a tablet and began to play on it. After some time passed, he put the tablet down. “Why aren’t you sleeping?”
She wasn’t sure how he knew; she hadn’t moved. “I have way too many things running through my mind to sleep.”
“So talk, quietly of course—you are supposed to be sleeping,” he said.
Freya let out a heavy sigh. Where should I even start? “Why didn’t you give a false name?”
“Lewis is a false identity,” he replied.
“Your name isn’t Lewis?” She flipped over in surprise to look at him.
“Nope. Every new mission comes with a new identity.”
“What’s your real name then?”
“That is classified. Next question.”
“Were you ever really coupled before?”
“Nope,” he answered. “Not the way you think of it, at least. Once you enter the military, you are never coupled. I have however previously pretended to be coupled on a mission.”
“Did you love her?”
“Nope. She was also military. It was very professional. Why do you ask?”
Freya’s face flushed, and she instantly regretted asking the question.
“Is that what you are expecting to happen here?”
“No!” she blurted. “I mean, well, it’s just something that Victor said, is all.”
Lewis turned so they faced each other. “What did Victor say?”
“When I asked him what would happen after, if our mission was successful, he said I would have a choice to stay undercover with you if we fell in love. I just didn’t know if that was normal or not.”
“It’s possible,” he replied. “If you become a good spy, we could stay undercover together. The State would surely have many places to put us. You may enjoy living and working with me. There is no telling if there will be chemistry between us. Of course, there is no rule against us forming an attachment or having sex, but it is not an expectation of this mission. We only need to pass for a happy couple in public; we don’t have to be one. I did, however, read your profile, and I would be surprised if you did get attached to me.” He paused. “Then again, it was a surprise you got as attached to Colin as you did.”
Freya was not comfortable with the direction the conversation had turned. She did not want to discuss the possibility of relations between them, and she wanted to talk about Colin even less.
“So what do we have to do to pretend to be a happy couple in public?” she asked, searching for a subject change. Keeping her mind on the mission at hand was what she needed to keep her emotions steady.
“That part is simple, really. When we are in our living room with cameras or out of the apartment together, we will need to show some affection to each other. Holding hands, the occasional kiss, affectionate terms spoken to each other—nothing much really. And to start off, you need to be reserved—you are struggling with the loss of Colin. The hardest thing we have to do is already done: the first time a new couple enters the bedroom together. And like I said, you were a pro at getting us here.”
“I remember Colin telling me that Security loves to watch new couples meet for the first time. See how awkward they are and stuff.” She shrugged.
“That is absolutely true. I did Security once as a cover. It can be quite entertaining, actually. Now that we have gone in here together once, they will watch us less, reporting our coupling a success. I would say our mission has had a very successful beginning.”
Freya nodded. She was still terrified about all of this, but the lack of sleep from the night before was hitting her again, and Lewis picked up on it quickly and returned to the tablet again.
“Get some rest, Freya. You need it.”
She didn’t protest as her eyelids were growing increasingly heavy. She curled up in the bed and drifted off to sleep quickly.
Lewis didn’t let her sleep for very long. He woke her up, telling her if she slept any longer she would be up all night. He urged her to change into exercise clothing and turned his back for her privacy.
“Do I bring my gun to exercise?” She looked down at her ankle strap and lifted a pant leg.
“You always bring your gun, and hope you never have to use it,” he replied.
“What if my pant leg pulls up when I am stretching or something and someone sees it?”
“All of your clothing has been ordered with extra length in the legs to help conceal your weapon.” He then looked down at the holster and examined it. “You are strapped in correctly. It can’t fall out or anything—it will be fine.” Then he grabbed her hand as if it was second nature and led her out of the bedroom. “I am so glad you love to exercise too. I hope we can go together all the time.”
Another performance to the cameras. She did not say anything. This acting thing was going to take some work for her, but she let him lead her out of the apartment. They arrived at the exercise facility quickly. This one was on the top floor of the building they lived in. It was very similar to the facility she went to when she was coupled with Colin. A track went around the edge of the building, with bikes and mats in the centre. There were only a few other people there, and so she knew their conversation would be heard by Security.
“What did you do for your cardio yesterday?” Lewis asked when they entered the room.
“I run,” she replied simply.
“Every day?”
“Yes, and then do strength training and stretches.” This part was a little easier for her. They were talking about real things.
“Well, do you mind if I give you a suggestion?” he asked. She looked at his body, and figured he would be the person who knew about exercise, so she shrugged and nodded. “You shouldn’t run every day. You should ride the bikes in between. Bikes build up the muscles in your legs that running doesn’t. It will actually make you a better runner if you do.”
“How do you know that?” she asked, and regretted it the moment it left her lips. Of course he had to have had extensive physical training in the military, but no one else was told that. He just made a mistake and she drew attention to it.
“I hurt my knee a while back. I used to just run also, and the doctor told me to cross-train to help my knee, and I have done it that way ever since.”
He sounded so natural. He was so good at this. She started to feel a little more at ease. As long as Lewis was there to cover for her, she couldn’t say anything too stupid. She walked over to a bike, and he showed her how to work the functions on it, how to make it harder and how to change her pace to get the best cardio workout. They got started on their ride and he encouraged her to keep the pace he held, yet had her use a much lower setting than him.
Once they finished,
he walked her through the strength training and told her to alternate those too. There was a bar suspended in the far corner of the room. She had never noticed one before or anyone using it, but she figured she must have overlooked it. He showed her how to use it to pull herself up. Lewis kept his hands on her waist to support her while she pulled herself up and back down. She could only do it a few times, but he encouraged her and said she was doing well. He led her through a few exercises, instructing her as she worked, and then did the exercises himself afterwards. He was so encouraging, but after seeing him do everything so deftly, she knew she must look silly in comparison. He worked her until her arms trembled, and then he sent her for water and a cooldown while he continued. He instructed her to stretch out her arms and her back, and then joined her.
“You would have exercised longer if I wasn’t with you, wouldn’t you,” she stated.
He smiled. It was the first time she had seen him smile without trying to repress it.
“We have the day to get acquainted. It would be impolite of me to exercise without you,” he responded.
“I’m sorry I’m so weak. I thought I was in good shape until today.”
“You are in great shape.” He laughed. “I have just been doing this longer than you have is all,” he said politely. “I am just so thrilled that you want to come and do this with me. My last partner wasn’t interested in doing any more than the State’s required amount, and so she wouldn’t go anywhere near one of these facilities with me.” He hesitated for a moment, and then looked down. “I don’t want to pry into your life—I know it was only recently you lost your last partner—but can I ask, did you guys exercise together? I only ask because you are in really good shape. I thought maybe he helped you a bit. He was in Security, right?”
Freya’s stomach knotted up. She knew she had to answer his question, but didn’t want to discuss Colin in public. Why couldn’t he have asked me in private?
“Uh, yeah, he was in Security, but no, we didn’t exercise together.” Her emotions rose to the surface. It was not just him bringing up a fresh wound; it was the fact he did it publicly. She was angry. Lewis reached out and took her hand. The cameras or anyone watching would pick this up and see it as a sympathetic gesture, which just made her a little more emotional.
“His name was Colin, right?”
“Yep.” A few tears now flowed down her face.
“You can talk about him if you want. It doesn’t bother me. I am sure you still love him.”
Freya was now humiliated as well as angry for crying in public. She looked around quickly to see whether anyone was looking at her. A woman on the exercise bike near them was staring at them. She looked away quickly when Freya looked at her. There was something familiar about her soft features, yet Freya couldn’t quite put her finger on it.
“I’m sorry I upset you. Let’s go home, okay?”
Freya nodded and turned to leave. She looked back at the woman on her way out, hoping to never see her again. Lewis urged her to keep moving, and it was a good thing too. Just at that moment, she realized where she had seen that woman before. She was Colin’s mother.
Chapter 11
“Oh look, we must have exercised right through dinner time,” Lewis said as they walked back into the apartment. He grabbed the plates and set them up at the table. Freya could not comprehend how she could possibly sit down and have a fake conversation with him after what just happened.
“Actually, if you don’t mind, I would rather eat in the bedroom.”
Lewis looked at her in surprise. “You need some time to yourself?”
“No, I just prefer it. Old habits, I guess,” she said. “Because Colin worked in Security, we never spent time in front of the cameras.”
“What do you mean? There are cameras everywhere.”
“Uhh…” She sighed. “Crap, I don’t think most people know that. There are no cameras in the bedroom, so we spent most of our time there.” She paused. “Colin and I didn’t get along too well when we first met, and his friends made fun of him. I guess it has left me with a bit of a complex.”
Without another word, Lewis grabbed the plates of food and carried them into the bedroom. “I am sorry, Freya. I really am. You have to understand, we need to press every advantage we have,” Lewis said before she even had time to sit down.
Her jaw clenched. “I get it. It’s exactly what Victor said. My raw emotion would make this all more believable.” She went over to the window. “I have to hand it to you—you’re good. I didn’t even know she was there and you just exposed me to her like it was totally natural.”
“I know her schedule. She always exercises before the evening meal. That is why I woke you up. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I thought you might get nervous and clam up if you knew why we were there,” he explained.
Freya thought for a moment, and then headed over to the bed. She still really didn’t like this situation. She hated it, actually. The State was taking advantage of the misfortunes they had caused in her life, yet it was too late to turn back now. It was best to just do this as fast as possible and get it over with.
“It was best that you didn’t. I just hate this. I hate that those tears were real. I wish I could just pretend like you.”
“You wouldn’t do as well if you were pretending. Even that bit at the table—you have just cleared us from ever hanging out in the living room. That is going to make things way easier for us if we don’t always have to be on camera. It will also give us more time to strategize and talk.”
Freya nodded and picked at her food. “So we did exactly what you hoped for when we were exercising?” she asked between bites.
“No, far more actually,” he replied with a mouth full of food. “I didn’t think we would get a shot like that to let her know who you are so fast. And I know you don’t want to hear this, but your tears and my comment about still loving him—that will just make you more approachable.”
“You think she will come to me?”
“I do now. I thought it would take weeks of working together for her to find out who you are. If she thinks you have reason to hate the State, even better.” They finished eating, and then Lewis grabbed her tablet from her nightstand. “Here, you need to log on and get your civil duty assignment. It will look suspicious if you know where to go tomorrow without checking your messages.” He took their plates and put them out to be picked up. She pulled out the tablet and sure enough, there was a message from the State welcoming her to her new home and instructing her on her civil duty and hours she would work.
“Oh my gosh, I have to start my civil duty at 05:00 every day,” she said as Lewis walked back into the room.
He picked up his tablet and opened his mail also. “Oh my gosh, I have the same work schedule as you. Well, how convenient,” he said sarcastically.
It was the first time she had heard Lewis crack any type of a joke. She rolled her eyes, but smiled.
“Yes, that is convenient. So I guess I can’t exercise in the mornings anymore. That would be way too early, even if it is just below my greenhouse.”
“It is far too early, and you have to exercise right as you finish civil duty, like Ursa does.”
“So she has the same schedule as me? What does she do for her civil duty?”
“Don’t you know?” he asked in surprise. “She’s a greenhouse worker like you. I am surprised Colin never told you that. Hmm, must have been protecting his family.”
“Or he has a type,” she spat. “His girlfriend was one too. Maybe he was afraid he would slip up.” She was fuming mad. Colin could share with her that his family was part of the rebellion, but could not even tell her they shared the same civil duty? She started to pace the room again. After a few moments, the realization dawned on her. “You knew. The State knew. You didn’t react at all when I said he had a girlfriend!” she nearly yelled at him.
“Freya, keep your voice down and get control of yourself,” he said in a calming voice. “It’s in the f
ile, yes. I read it.”
“So that was the deal then. If he colonized, he got to get away from me and be with her.” She fought back a sob but failed. She had nowhere to hide. Part of her wished Lewis would leave the room; she felt humiliated at crying in front of him. It wasn’t just the tears. Everyone had known but her. If she had not watched the video, she would still be in the dark. Without her realizing he had moved, Lewis was there, offering a soothing touch to help ease her pain.
“We are sure going to miss that firing range, aren’t we?” he said.
Freya laughed in spite of herself. That was two jokes in one day. He pulled her close and held her while she cried for what felt like an eternity. He finally guided her over to the bed, turned out the lights, and curled up next to her, rubbing her back until she fell asleep. It was strange that someone who was a trained killer could also be so soft and caring when she needed him to be. It could have to do with his training—a part of their skill set—but she wondered if it was just his nature to be kind and nurturing.
Conflicted: Book Two of the State Series Page 12
