‘Can we still have until the fifth of January to come up with a solution?’ Mum asked, clearly determined not to give up. ‘After all, as is clear tonight, you must agree selling off the high street is not what people in this village want.’
Mr Murray nodded. ‘We are impressed with the community spirit here tonight, Mrs Williams, but it does, I’m afraid, all come down to how we can balance those books. You still have until January; I really hope you can find an answer.’ We all shook hands, and then they left, leaving me and my mum standing on the grass, feeling a little deflated.
‘I thought they might budge on the rents,’ I admitted once we were alone. ‘Was that really naïve of me?’
‘No, just hopeful.’ She smiled. ‘Don’t worry, we have time to come up with something. We aren’t giving up yet, okay?’
‘Okay,’ I said but I was at a loss as to what we could do next.
John came over to us then. ‘A kid got too excited in the grotto and has tripped the lights so I’m going to find a new fuse. It might be a good idea to start winding things up before we lose any more lights,’ he said with a shake of his head. ‘Bloody kids,’ he muttered as he sloped off.
I laughed. ‘John is happiest just alone with his plants, isn’t he?’
‘You’ve got that right. I can’t say I blame him.’ Mum smiled. ‘Let’s clear the trail then, shall we?’
‘Whatever happens, we can be proud that we did this, can’t we?’
We both looked at the lights ahead. ‘Definitely.’
Chapter Thirty-Five
Later, when everyone had gone home and we had turned off the trail lights, I went up to say good night to Izzy who was reading in bed and paused outside my gran’s room on the way. Her lights were still on, so I peeped in and saw her eyes were open as she lay in bed. ‘How do you think it went?’ I asked her, softly.
She smiled as I stepped inside. ‘It reminded me what I loved about Glendale. You know, I have lived my whole life in this house,’ she said. ‘I had dreams of going to the city once. But then I fell in love with your grandfather. He worked for my father when we still ran the family business. Like me, he was born and bred in Glendale, and once we were married and I had Caroline, there was never a question of us leaving.
‘And Caroline, she never really had dreams of moving away. When she married your father, they decided they would live here. Your grandfather had only just died and your mother didn’t want to leave me alone, but perhaps she too found it hard to be parted from this house. It becomes part of you. I think when you left, it shook us all because we couldn’t imagine living anywhere else. And perhaps we all fell a little out of love with this house and the village. But you’ve shown us that there is still so much to love here, and we should be trying to keep it for the next generation.’ My gran spoke slowly and softly but her speech was full of emotion, and her voice broke at the end of it.
I would never be sorry for leaving. I’d had to do it. I was sure of that. It was important for me. It had allowed me to grow and become the woman I was, raise Izzy the way I wanted to and create a bond between us that could never be broken. But I also understood why they had never left. ‘It is special. I think coming back after so long has made me see it with completely new eyes. I maybe didn’t appreciate it when I was younger or maybe it didn’t appreciate me. I am so glad we are trying to preserve Glendale. I’d like Izzy to enjoy it as she grows up.’
‘And you always loved our grounds, didn’t you? It must have been hard not to pursue your passion for gardening, to let that all go. I hadn’t thought about it before but seeing the trail tonight, I realised how it must have broken your heart to not do what you wanted.’
I nodded. ‘Being back here has reminded me how much I did love it. Working on this trail has been really special.’ I tried not to think about how I would feel in January going back to my desk job, every day the same, no window even in my office to see out of. A world away from Glendale. But we all had to do things we didn’t want to, surely. That was what life was about. ‘I did what I had to do, though.’
Gran nodded. ‘Perhaps now you can let yourself dream again.’ She closed her eyes. ‘Before you run out of time.’ She was asleep suddenly as if she had been pulled to it by a hidden magnetic force. I shut the door softly and left her alone, wondering if I could.
Chapter Thirty-Six
When I opened my eyes on Christmas Day, my room was in darkness and there was a stillness in the air that I knew could only mean one thing. I rolled over and sighed when I saw the time on my phone was five a.m. Sitting up, I pulled back the curtains and peered out of the window at the thick white carpet covering the garden. ‘A white Christmas,’ I whispered. Despite waking up so early, I couldn’t help but smile at the snow outside, knowing that Izzy, sleeping next door, would be beside herself with excitement.
Climbing out of bed, I pulled on my fluffy dressing gown, and slippers, and put my hair up into a messy bun. Padding softly out of my room, I went into Izzy’s room and smiled down at her curled up, sleeping under the blanket. ‘Iz, wake up,’ I said, softly, giving Izzy’s sleeping form a nudge.
‘What is it?’ Izzy mumbled, rolling over sleepily.
‘It’s Christmas,’ I told her.
‘It’s Christmas!’ Izzy’s eyes flew open and she sat bolt upright.
I laughed. ‘I have something to show you. Come on!’ I held out her dressing gown as she climbed out of bed. I passed her slippers and she shuffled into them. ‘Merry Christmas, love,’ I said, giving her a kiss.
‘Merry Christmas!’ she repeated, a smile spreading across her face. I took her hand and we walked softly downstairs. Glendale Hall was still and silent. We passed the huge Christmas tree, packed with presents underneath ready to be opened soon, and went into the kitchen where I took Izzy over to the patio doors. She let out a little gasp as we stood side by side and looked out at the winter wonderland in front of us.
‘What about the trail?’ she asked with sudden panic.
‘It’s okay. John made sure everything was covered, and if it’s still snowing tomorrow, we’ll have to get up early and clear a path. But I think it will make it feel even more magical.’ I knew that John would be grumpy about the snow despite what I told Izzy, but I smiled at it. I had missed it living down in London. It reminded me of my childhood, and I was thrilled Izzy was getting to experience it. ‘Makes it feel really Christmassy, doesn’t it?’
‘Can we go for a walk in it later?’
‘Definitely. How about some hot chocolate then?’
‘Can I open my presents from Santa?’
‘Oh, so now you believe in him?’
She poked out her tongue, and I laughed. ‘Go and get your stocking from the mantelpiece, and I’ll make our drinks.’ I watched her rush off and shook my head with a chuckle. When she was growing up I had tried hard to make sure Izzy had the best Christmases that I could but it wasn’t always easy on my own. Now we were ready for our first Christmas with our family and I was a little nervous about how the day would go but I was determined to make it special for my little girl as I always had.
‘There are so many!’ Izzy said, coming back in and struggling a little to hold all the presents in her arms. She put them on the table.
I took over two hot chocolates and we sat down at the table together. It was a silver lining to being up at the crack of dawn – a moment with just the two of us. Like we always had at this time of year.
‘It’s a shame Dad can’t come over,’ Izzy said as she opened up her first gift.
‘We’ll see him tomorrow. And he will ring you later.’ Now that April was here I was relieved that it had already been agreed we’d spend the day apart.
‘What are you two doing up?’ Sally said when she walked in a while later.
‘We saw that it had snowed and had to come and see it,’ I replied. ‘Merry Christmas, Sally.’
‘You too.’ She came over and gave us both a kiss. ‘I’m going to put the turkey in and th
en I think we all need a bacon sandwich and a glass of Buck’s Fizz. Just the Buck for you though, Iz.’ I liked that as it was Christmas she sat with us like one of the family. Which is what she was to me. She would be off to London soon to see Emily but it was right she was here for our first Christmas back at Glendale Hall.
‘What is she talking about?’ Izzy hissed at me as she opened her new diary from Santa.
‘I never really know,’ I whispered back. ‘Looks like you were on the good list after all,’ I said, gesturing at all the gifts on the table.
‘And, once again, you weren’t,’ she replied, reaching for the chocolate snowman. She held it up hopefully, but I shook my head.
‘At least have your bacon sandwich first. We have to pace ourselves today, Iz. Sally will make enough to feed an army; I can promise you that.’
‘I’ll need a helper though,’ Sally said as she pulled out food from the fridge. ‘What do you think, Izzy?’
‘Can I be the taster too?’
I laughed. ‘I have taught you well.’
Izzy jumped up to help Sally get the turkey into the Aga. I wrapped my hands around my mug and gazed out at the garden. Outside, large snowflakes fell down gently as if they were feathers.
The year before, as Izzy and I had got ready in our flat for Christmas dinner at Emily’s house, I had told myself that I didn’t miss being at Glendale Hall with my family, but I’d known I was lying. This would be my first Christmas here for ten years. It was crazy to realise that. Maybe I had stayed away too long. Looking at Izzy’s happy face, I knew that at least I had done the right thing in coming home this year.
* * *
‘Beth, your grandmother wants to come downstairs for Christmas dinner,’ Mum said, finding me as I came out of my room showered and dressed. I was wearing my traditional Christmas jumper for the day. It was black and fluffy with the face of a reindeer on it, the nose of which flashed red.
Mum stared. ‘What is that?’
‘The best jumper ever,’ I replied. ‘Wait until you see Izzy’s. We always wear them on Christmas Day.’
She rolled her eyes. Despite our relationship improving no end since I had come home, Mum still hadn’t got to grips with our festive spirit and love of all things tacky at this time of year. I wished I had bought her a jumper to wear just to see her face. ‘Anyway, will you help me?’
We went into my gran’s room. I could understand why she wanted to be downstairs. I couldn’t imagine being bedridden for as long as she had been. I didn’t like how she looked. It didn’t seem as if she had long with us. Sally was waiting there and between the three of us we lifted Gran out of her bed and carried her downstairs into the living room, helping her into the armchair with a stool to put her feet on. Mum draped a heavy blanket over her even though there was a roaring fire in the room. Gran smiled at being there despite the obvious pain she was in. It was still strange to see the woman who had been so formidable and such a force of character through my childhood looking so frail and weak now. I still didn’t know if I was ready to forgive the lies she had told but only someone with a heart of stone wouldn’t feel pity for her.
‘Can we open presents now?’ Izzy asked, appearing behind us. Her jumper had a penguin on it and was pale blue and sparkly.
‘Your father used to make you wait until after lunch: do you remember how upset that made you?’ Mum said to me with a smile. ‘Well, he isn’t here yet, so yes, I think we should. Izzy, why don’t you bring them in from under the tree? I think we’ll be nice and cosy in here for opening them.’
I grinned as Izzy skipped off happily. I quite liked this new-found rebellious nature of my mum’s. I loved my dad, of course, but he was so in the wrong in my opinion, not only seeing another woman behind my mum’s back, but also in putting money before the community, and helping to destroy Glendale. I hoped his time away might be making him change his mind about everything.
I sat down on the sofa and Mum passed me and Sally a glass of mulled wine. Soft Christmas music played in the background, and Mum had lit candles: it was sending me back to Christmases gone by with the scent of frankincense and myrrh.
Izzy’s face lit up as her dad phoned to wish her a merry Christmas. She skipped out to the tree after speaking to him to collect all the presents.
‘What a difference a Christmas makes,’ I said aloud, thinking about all the changes that had happened to us while we had been here.
‘How are you feeling about Drew?’ Mum asked me, gently.
‘I’m happy he’s in Izzy’s life now.’
‘And his girlfriend?’ she prompted, curling up her lip in distaste.
I shrugged, trying not to betray the disappointment in my heart. ‘What is there to say? We were over a long time ago, Mum.’
‘You were kids back then, and now you have one together. That changes everything.’
Izzy came back in, struggling with a pile of gifts so I couldn’t respond. I watched her make piles for each of us and smiled at how much fun she was having. I was disappointed about Drew and April, there was no denying it, but I had spent ten years without him. All that mattered was Izzy and how happy him being in her life was making her. My heart would be okay as long as hers was. I had to believe that.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Once we had a pile of gifts, and a pile of ripped up wrapping paper, Sally had to leave to check on the turkey, and then my dad walked in.
‘What did you get for Christmas then, Iz?’ he asked, sitting down on the sofa in his suit, flashing us all a smile as if nothing was out of the ordinary. My family really were experts at pretending nothing was wrong. Izzy showed him the beaded bracelet I had got her, with a book charm hanging from it. We had seen them at a market in London, and I had gone back to buy her one on my lunch break.
‘I’m going to go and help Sally,’ my mum said, fleeing for the kitchen.
‘David, what are you doing?’ Gran said, opening her eyes from the nap she’d been having. I looked at Izzy who was cross-legged on the floor studying the set of nail polishes Sally had given her. I hoped an argument wasn’t about to erupt. ‘You should go and talk to Caroline.’
‘Stay out of this, Margaret,’ Dad muttered. He sighed and rubbed his temples.
‘I think if you only had a short time left, you wouldn’t stay out of anything either,’ she replied. ‘That’s my daughter you are treating appallingly. There is only one choice – you leave, for good, or you stay, and you work at your marriage. Do you even care how she is feeling about you being here today?’
With a resigned sigh, my dad got up from the sofa. ‘Fine, I’ll go and talk to her. But I have every right to be here, this is my house and my family.’
‘I think,’ Gran said to his retreating back, ‘you’ll find this is my house, and it appears to be your family only when it suits you.’
Dad didn’t reply but I saw his cheeks grow pink as he went to find my mum.
I had been on the receiving end of my gran’s cutting remarks before, but it was hard to feel any pity for him.
‘I like that colour,’ I said to Izzy, hoping she hadn’t paid too much attention to their heated words. I wanted her to enjoy her first Christmas at Glendale Hall. ‘Shall I help you paint your nails later?’ I looked at Gran – she had closed her eyes again. ‘Iz, go and see if Sally needs any help with lunch, I’ll be there in a sec.’ When Izzy had gone, I went over to Gran’s armchair. ‘Can we all call a truce for one day? For Izzy?’
‘We can,’ Gran said, opening her eyes. ‘But I had to tell him what I thought. I am ashamed to call him my son-in-law. I know that my opinions haven’t always matched yours, but I think they do now.’ I sighed and nodded. ‘You will help them, Beth, I know you will. I just don’t want to go with any regrets. If I don’t say how I feel now, I may never get the opportunity. Do you understand?’
‘I do. I know it won’t be easy but I’d like us to all enjoy this day together.’
She patted my hand. ‘We will. This family
means more to you than you care to admit I think. Maybe you had to leave us to realise this is where you belong.’
‘I like being back here, Gran, but London is my home now.’
‘Hmm. Your home isn’t a place, it’s the people you share it with. Izzy is your home. And so are we.’ She closed her eyes again, signalling the conversation was over.
* * *
Lunch was spectacular. I don’t know what my parents said to one another, but everyone was on their best behaviour as we made our way through the turkey, pigs in blankets, roast and mash potatoes, honey-drenched carrots, cauliflower cheese and parsnips. Izzy made us all wear the hats from our crackers, and I kept smiling every time I looked across at my elegant mum with one on her head. Gran managed to have a small meal but as soon as we were finished, my dad carried her back to bed so she could sleep. We had Christmas pudding with brandy butter and then all piled into the kitchen to clear everything up. It was late afternoon by the time it was all done, and Izzy begged to have a walk in the snow before we lost the light. Sally went off to phone her family, and Mum went to check on my gran, so Izzy, my dad and I stepped out into the garden wrapped up in our warmest clothes.
‘I need this, I’m so full after all that food,’ I said, my boots sinking into the soft powdery snow. We couldn’t see any grass peeking through, it was white for as far as the eye could see. We padded our way across the lawn; it was slow work as our boots sunk deep into the snow.
‘I’m going to make a snowman,’ Izzy said, dropping to her knees to make a ball. My dad and I continued to walk on slowly. It was the first time we’d really been alone since we’d arrived in Glendale.
‘Let me show you the trail,’ I suggested. We walked towards the fir trees, Heather’s Glendale Christmas Trail banner moving in the gentle breeze. ‘This really isn’t about me and Mum doing something just to piss you off,’ I said to him. ‘I didn’t even know you were involved at the beginning. But when I walked into the village and saw how deserted it was, it made me really sad. I remember walking there one Boxing Day with you and Mum to have tea and cake. It had snowed just like today, and the cafe was full of people, really cosy and warm. Don’t you miss that? You’ve lived here all your life, just like us, do really want to see it turned into flats?’ I said all this gently so he didn’t get defensive. I was actually curious as to why he thought this development idea would be good for Glendale.
Coming Home to Glendale Hall Page 19
