‘I can only imagine. Look, we think Primrose gave her card to our murder victim. If that’s the case, she must have thought the girl needed it more than she did herself. We’re hoping that this Sara might know the circumstances, that Primrose might have told her about it before she left the city.’
‘Primrose gave away her card?’ Lsenko’s voice was a mixture of disbelief and awe, as if a priceless treasure had been spurned.
‘We don’t know that for sure. Lilit Petrosian opted to be repatriated. But although for that reason alone she’s the most likely of all of you to have given her card to another girl, we don’t see how she was ever in a position to do so while she was still here in the city. Lilit was driven from our station to London without ever mixing with anyone other than yourselves and us. The card ended up in Cambridge in the clothing of a girl from Peterborough. That’s why we’re focussing on Primrose and her friend, Sara.’
They all came to a halt when Lsenko stopped walking. She stood for a moment looking at the ground, scuffed at the same spot with her boot heel.
‘You know us, Marta,’ Bliss said softly, sensing the young woman’s hesitation. ‘We’re not looking to hurt anyone – other than those who deserve it. If you know something, anything at all, please tell us. If this Sara is an illegal, I promise you her information will go no further than us. All we want is a conversation.’
The moment Lsenko looked up again, Bliss knew she had something to tell them. She gave a long sigh before speaking. ‘I do know this girl. Sara. I also know Primrose from other than container.’
‘You two met up after you were separated?’
A nod. ‘I know Sara. Sara know Primrose. We had coffee at Costa in Queensgate by escalator.’
‘Okay,’ Chandler said, giving her a wide smile. ‘That’s good. It’s nice that you were still in each other’s lives. Do you know why Primrose left, and why she gave the card away?’
Bliss could tell the young woman was still uncertain. ‘Marta, I think you know how important this is. I promise you none of it will splash back on you or your friend Sara, and we are not going to chase down Primrose. I hope you believe me.’
‘I do. Yes, of course. You and Penny.’
‘In that case, please, tell us what you know.’
‘I worry what you will think of me.’
Lsenko’s pale features trembled from more than the cold and fine rain. Bliss took a half step closer, shaking his head. ‘You need never concern yourself with that. Penny and I know what you had to live through. We don’t judge you, Marta. You fought to stay alive, so you earned the right to choose how you live that life.’
Before he even finished speaking, her face crumpled and tears began streaming down both cheeks. She pawed them away carelessly. ‘I want to be more than I am. But I want the things I never had before. Back home. What I do is not easy for me as a woman, but is easier for me as a person. You understand?’
Bliss didn’t quite, but he nodded anyway.
‘Sara… she do worse things. I have sex with men for money. But I do nothing… I think you say… degrading. Just sex. Sara, she… do much worse. She have friend who do things Sara refuse to talk about. I think she call her Amber.’
‘Could it be Autumn?’ Chandler said. The moment she spoke, she winced and mouthed a ‘sorry’ to Bliss for interrupting the flow of their conversation. But Lsenko was nodding and smiling, agreeing on the name.
‘Did Primrose give her card to Sara so that she could pass it on to Autumn?’ Bliss asked. ‘Did she think Autumn might need help from me?’
‘Yes. Sara tell me she worry about her friend. Say she do dangerous things. Terrible things. Sara want her to stop. Prim come to me later, she say she is leaving because she not want to go back to Somalia. We speak about you, and we talk about card. Prim say she have no need of it where she is going.’
Bliss was keen to learn more about the card and what Autumn did that was so wrong her friend believed she needed protection. But he also wanted to put Lsenko at her ease. ‘Did Primrose tell anybody where she was headed? Have you heard from her since she left?’
The girl shook her head. ‘No. She think it better if I do not know.’
‘Are you sure? Like I said, I have no intention of searching for her. But it’d be nice to know that she is well and getting on okay.’
‘I know. I trust you, as Prim did. But she would not tell me where she go. Just that she would be with her own people in community that will accept her.’
Bliss nodded and said, ‘Then that’s all we can wish for. I hope she’s happy. So, we have to go back to Sara. Do you know how to reach her?’
‘No. I see her from time to time. This is all.’
‘Okay. How did she know Autumn?’
‘They work together sometimes. You know, when men want two women. They also do the… dangerous things. The things I will not do.’
‘Do you know who Sara worked for? Which agency?’
Lsenko nodded. ‘Is private. Secret. You not find on internet very easy. Only when you have correct way in.’
‘You’re talking about a dark website,’ Chandler said. ‘Is it called Dark Desires, Marta? Is that the one?’
Lsenko’s face scrunched up in horror. ‘You know this? You know about black card?’
‘We do. We told you our victim had Jimmy’s business card hidden in her underwear, yes? Well, she also had a black card with her. It had some kind of code written on the back of it in gold pen. Do you know anything about that?’
‘I do not write this,’ Lsenko replied, putting a gloved hand to her chest. ‘I do not work with black card people.’
‘No, I’m not saying you are. But Sara does. She must know how it works. Perhaps she told you enough that you can provide us with more information.’
‘All I know is what she tell me one time. This Dark Desires is for men and women who want more than sex. It is sex for them, but not for me or you or Jimmy, I am sure. They need girl willing to do things I would never do. Some dirty, filthy… ugly. Some dangerous. Make me scared. Too scared.’
‘And the card? How does the system work, Marta?’
‘You call number. You say what it is you want. You must prove who you are first, then get sent – what is called? – file. You prove more, you pay, you get sent way to enter. Once inside, you find girls who do these things.’
Bliss was trying to follow Lsenko’s broken and uncertain English, but having a good idea where it was headed made life so much easier for him. ‘So if this is me and I want something… out of the ordinary, I call Dark Desires. I provide my details. Presumably somebody checks me out, after which they send me a spreadsheet file. I pay for the service, I provide even more information about myself. If they are satisfied, they send me a password into the sheet, plus whatever needs to be entered into it. I do that, up pops the link and away I go. Into the dark web.’
Nodding throughout, Lsenko also continued to glance around; fearful they might be observed, Bliss guessed. ‘Marta,’ he said, ‘this is important. Do you know what it was that Sara’s friend Autumn offered the people who used this service? Did Sara ever mention it to you?’
‘Yes. Sara was not ashamed. She say Autumn was, but still she did the work. I don’t like to say. It scare me to even think about it.’
Bliss understood. ‘That’s okay. Let me tell you what I think it was. You just nod or shake your head.’
‘I can do that for you and Penny.’
‘No, not for us. For your friend Sara, and her friend Autumn. Okay?’
‘Okay.’ This time she raised a smile, and Bliss was glad of it.
‘Was it choking, Marta? Was that what Autumn offered her clients? It’s called erotic asphyxiation, but you probably know it as choking.’
Lsenko’s face screwed up again as she let out a loud sob. A fresh torrent of tears streamed from her eyes. ‘Yes,’ she said through her misery. ‘Yes.’
Twenty-Four
Bliss was conscious of how hard the team had w
orked since the discovery of the body at the chalk pits. Fatigue had to be setting in. Ahead of the evening briefing, during which the entire team were due to catch up with the day’s events, he had a word with Bishop. With most – if not all – of the team expected back the following day and quite possibly for the entire weekend, he suggested they cut out the briefing altogether and send everyone home early.
Bishop had understood, even agreed, but he had another take on it. ‘I keep coming back to our killer’s MO. If he does have another girl out there somewhere, I hate to think of her spending one second more in his company than she has to.’
‘You’re not the only one taking that into consideration, Bish. But you know this team; you think Penny, Gul, or even Phil are going to go home tonight and not spend much of their free time mulling it over? My point is, we’ve hardly stopped to breathe, and as exhaustion creeps in, so mistakes get made. It’s not only better for the case, it’s an issue of wellbeing. We’re asking people to give up their own time to come in over the weekend. Uniforms, too. Let them know you’re aware of this by telling them all to bugger off home now. It’ll do them the power of good – and you, in their eyes.’
Bliss knew his colleague’s heart was in the right place. They couldn’t know for certain that another girl had been abducted, however likely it seemed, and he didn’t expect any of the team to have a restful night. But he had driven his colleagues hard in the past, and experience told him that releasing the valve a little allowed the pressure to dissipate gradually rather than exploding in a single eruption.
Always ready to listen to and accept advice, Bishop weighed up the options and went with Bliss’s suggestion. The relief on the faces of the team was palpable.
Before leaving work, Bliss put in a call to Sandra Bannister. She didn’t pick up, but he neglected to leave a message. He and Chandler walked out to the car park together. ‘You got time for a quick one?’ she asked.
Bliss chuckled. There was a time when his response would have been automatic and obvious. Chandler caught on quickly. ‘No, I don’t mean that, you dirty old sod! That’s never been on the table.’
‘It doesn’t have to be on the table, Pen. Over a desk will do.’
‘Smartarse. All right: it’s never been on offer, and it never will be to the likes of you.’
‘That’s fair enough. Though once again I feel it’s only proper for me to remind you who put their lips on mine that night a few years back and almost snogged the air out of my lungs?’
‘We were pissed, Jimmy. You could have been DCI Edwards, for all I knew.’
‘Now that I would pay good money to see.’
‘Yeah, well you make the most of that memory. It’s never going to happen again.’
He remembered it well. Another of their brief flirtations. He had never been certain how far either of them had been willing to take it, but he suspected that at one time their shared loneliness might have thrown open a door lying slightly ajar. He was glad it had never gone past the point of no return. Chandler was his best friend, and nothing was worth ruining that relationship.
‘All right,’ he said. ‘But no, as much as I’m loath to refuse the offer of a quick pint with you, I have fences to mend at home.’
‘Ah. You and Em all set for a showdown, is that it?’
‘Not my choice. Although I think I passed some sort of test.’
‘You did? Tell me more.’
‘She said she’d come over provided we could talk about us. You can imagine how that went down with me. My first reaction was to try and put it off, but she was insistent: either we got into it or she wouldn’t come. She mentioned compromise or some such nonsense.’
‘And you broke first?’ Chandler’s eyes glinted. ‘I’m impressed, Jimmy. That’s a massive step.’
‘Yeah, but into what? I hate the whole idea of it. When I’m with someone, I don’t want to waste time having conversations like that. I want to enjoy the moment, not sully it with a shitload of soul-searching. Think about it; have you ever known a discussion like that to go well?’
‘It is what mature, loving couples do from time to time.’
‘Really? I mean, I remember having chats like that with Hazel – we spoke about where we were going, getting our own place, marriage, family – so yes, I’m not unfamiliar with the concept. But we were young, our focus was on spending the rest of our lives together and how that would all pan out.’
The lines on Chandler’s forehead grew deeper. ‘Then why are you surprised that Emily wants to have similar conversations with you? I know you went into this relationship reluctantly, but you’re a good couple of months into it now. You and Hazel were young and thought you had your whole lives together, stretching out far into the distance. You and Em are moving towards the other end of the same scale; believe me, Jimmy, she’s wondering if she’s going to grow old alone or with someone else by her side. And she’s asking herself if that person could be you.’
Dusk was deepening, approaching full darkness. It felt like a metaphor for life. His life. Emily’s. He raised his hands. ‘Okay, I understand the importance of the discussion I’m about to have. But why now, when I’m deep into a case and my mind is wrapped up in that? Surely we could have put it off for a few days, maybe a week or so?’
Chandler shook her head as if dealing with a simpleton. ‘Oh, Jimmy. Think about what you said from her perspective. When aren’t you deep into a case? And on the rare occasions you’re not fully immersed, you’re resting, overcoming the fatigue from your illness. There’s never a good time to have that conversation with you, is there? It looks to me as if she has decided enough is enough. Talk or walk, my friend. Talk or walk.’
Bliss had already chosen to talk. And when he arrived home, that’s precisely what he did. She asked him to sit and listen while he put away a bottle of San Miguel, but instead of listening, he began their conversation.
‘Emily, I realise we got this second chance and that at the time it felt like fate had taken a hand. Well, fate and the crafty mind of Penny Chandler.’ They exchanged warm, knowing smiles. ‘But in all honesty, I don’t think you’re getting what you need from me. And if you aren’t getting that at the moment, it’s right for you to question whether you ever will. My truthful answer is that I don’t know if I can ever be the man you want me to be, for us to have the kind of close relationship you want us to have. But I’m also aware that my saying I don’t know is of no use to you.’
Emily was soft on the outside, but she had a steely core. A stoical, intelligent woman, she had little time for tears or tantrums. She felt things deeply, but she also recognised the way things were. If she lacked the ability to change a situation, or compel it to be changed, she could live with the repercussions. Bliss knew this about her, and understood he was incapable of breaking her.
They sat together on the new three-seater sofa, his one concession to having another person sharing his home – even on a non-permanent basis. Emily sat with her knees pulled up to her chest, her head resting on his shoulder. As they talked, her hand idly brushed his arm.
‘I want to love you more than I already do, Jimmy,’ she said. ‘But so far I’ve been unable to let myself fall all the way; it’s a matter of self-preservation. So yes, I’ve been guilty of holding back.’
Bliss released a long breath. ‘I think I was aware of that. Though I’m not great at picking up signals when it comes to this sort of thing.’
Rolling her eyes, Emily said, ‘That’s an understatement. But there’s no blame here. The thing is, while I may be holding back for fear of getting my heart broken, I don’t believe you are. I think this is it for you. This is all you’re willing to give at this moment in your life – maybe even all you are capable of giving. I don’t know if the missing piece is whatever you’re still holding onto with Hazel, if it’s your commitment to the job, or perhaps a combination of the two. It might be me – that you can’t make that commitment to me. All I do know is that I never get all of you, Jimmy. And
I don’t see a point at which I ever will.’
He wrapped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer. ‘In my defence, I never promised you otherwise.’
‘I know. And please don’t get me wrong. I’m not angry with you. I didn’t expect more from you, either, but I suppose I did hope for it. For a sign, at least. A sign that you had it in you to put all that you are into what we have together. But I came into this with my eyes wide open, which is why I have no regrets.’
‘So because you think it can’t move any further forward, it has to be over? Is that what you’re saying?’
‘No. It’s not that at all.’
‘Then what is it, Emily? I’m lost here. You have to help me understand.’
Nuzzling him, her fingers moving with his, she gave a gentle sigh and said, ‘In some ways it has nothing to do with you and me. But at the same time, perhaps it has everything to do with you and me. The fact is, I worry about you. I am worried about you. This rage you have inside you towards Neil Watson… it’s as if you have a death wish. Not your actual death, but the death of your career and your happiness. Jimmy, you’re walking such a fine line with your probation, you’re approaching the final couple of years in the job – a job you’re extremely fortunate to still be out there doing – and yet you’re happy to risk everything because you think someone got away with committing a terrible crime.’
Bliss swallowed, digesting her disapproval and finding it hard to stomach. ‘And you think that makes me wrong?’
‘Yes. Not in how you feel about what happened or towards him. Of course not; the thought of what he did to that child makes me feel physically sick. But at times you’re such a hypocrite, Jimmy. You love going around telling people that things are what they are, not what we want them to be. But you think you don’t have to live by those rules yourself. Of course it’s wrong if that man did murder his stepson and got away with it. It’s horrendous. And I’m angry at the lack of justice. But why is it only you who doesn’t seem to be willing to accept that you can’t always get the result you want? It wasn’t even your case.’
The Autumn Tree (DI Bliss Book 8) Page 19
