by J. N. Baker
Closing my eyes, I pulled away from him. “I kill people. It’s what I was created for.”
“Are you,” he hesitated, “are you like a vampire? Are you going to suck my blood?”
I gave him a crooked smile. It took all my effort not to burst into laughter. I didn’t know what was funnier, his horrible Dracula impression or that he thought I was one of the bloodsuckers. Then again, wasn’t that what I first thought when I’d met William?
“No, Josh, I’m not a vampire. Besides, they’re nothing like the vampires in books and movies. But that’s a bedtime story for another day. Our kind has been mistaken for vampires for centuries. It’s easy to confuse us with them. Similar skills, but we’re stronger, faster, better.”
He took a moment to digest my words, probably mulling over the existence of vampires, definitely contemplating if I’d lost my damn mind. If only there were a handbook for something like this—How to Talk to Your Best Friend about Vampires and Other Supernatural Beings.
“Then,” he paused, swallowing, “what are you?” He didn’t sound like he really wanted to know. Life would’ve been easier if he never did. Then again, life would’ve been easier if none of this had happened to begin with.
My head spun a bit with the effects of the whiskey and I sat down, trying to make my movements as slow as possible. I didn’t want Josh having a heart attack on me.
“The seven of us,” I started, “we’re like some sort of…hybrid. We have better eyesight and hearing than a human. Our skin is tougher and our bones are stronger. We can feel vibrations in the air and react ten times faster with ten times the strength. When we get injured, our bodies heal themselves. Centuries ago, people called us the archangels, which always struck me as rather odd since there were no female archangels in the bible. Nowadays, those who know of us refer to us as God’s warriors. All I know is that I’m one of the ‘Chosen.’”
He sat beside me, reaching over and taking the flask back from me. He took a long pull from it. Yeah, it was a lot to take in. “So, you’re an angel?” Josh didn’t sound so sure.
At that I couldn’t help but laugh, but the laughter quickly died on my lips. “No, I’m definitely no angel. If I wanted to, I could slip right by you and you’d never even know I was there. Not until you were on the ground with your throat slit.” I shuddered at the thought. “I’m not an angel. I’m a monster.”
“Zoe…”
“Sometimes I see things,” I continued before he could say more. “Things that haven’t happened yet.”
“That’s how you knew about the earthquake.” It wasn’t a question.
I nodded. “That’s not all of us though, that’s just my thing. We each have our own ‘gift.’ Mine is the gift of sight. It’s more like a damned curse. I’m forced to watch a future that can’t be changed—people dying who can’t be saved…” I trailed off, eyes fixed on the star-studded waves.
“Thank you,” he whispered.
“For what?”
“For saving my life. And for trusting me enough to confide in me. I’m glad you told me.”
I sighed. “Yeah, no problem. And don’t be too happy about knowing. When William finds out I told you, he’ll probably kill me.” Or you. I left the last part out for obvious reasons.
Once again, silence consumed us. An ache I hadn’t felt in years tugged at the heart I no longer possessed. Things would never be the same again, all because I was one of the Chosen. Well, I didn’t choose anything.
Josh emptied the flask and stood, dusting the sand from his pants. For a second, I thought he was going to leave and then he extended a hand to me. “Let’s go for a swim.”
“What?”
“Come on,” he said, reaching down to grab my hand. As my hand connected with his, it was like we were back in high school again—two kids doing stupid things for the hell of it. Everything else faded away.
Josh pulled me behind him, dashing for the icy water, which was still considerably warmer than the water we’d grown up with in Washington. As the first wave crashed against my legs, I cringed, forcing myself to push on until I was past the breaking point, until the water calmed around me. My arms floated out at my sides as my body swayed back and forth with the subtle rocking motion of the ocean.
I tried to let my mind go blank, if only for a few seconds, but my hyper senses wouldn’t allow it. I could hear everything, smell everything, feel everything. The crash of the waves against the shore, the beating of Josh’s heart within his chest, the smell of saltwater on my flesh, the vibrations of Josh’s movements as he treaded up behind me.
“I don’t care what you are,” he murmured into my hair, the smell of whiskey on his breath. He slipped his hands around my waist, flesh against flesh as my tank top gathered under my chest. I shivered, pulling away, keeping my back to him.
“You will care,” I replied, prying stray hairs from my neck. A few drops of water trickled off the center of my parted lips, the salt stinging my tongue. I savored the pain. I deserved pain. “One day, you’ll care about what you see, what you hear. You’ll care about the monster I’ve become. And then, you’ll learn to stay away from me.”
“That would never happen,” he said. “I’ll never leave you. Not now, not ever. I promise you that, Zoe.”
He could deny it all he wanted, but it would happen. Whether it was in five minutes when my words really sunk in, or in a week when he witnessed me killing again. It was just a matter of time. And if that time was coming soon, there was something he needed to know.
“Josh, what you said at the hospital,” I started, still unable to face him. “I don’t blame you for what happened that night. You have to know that. I never once blamed you for any of it. It wasn’t because of you, or even the ‘accident’ that caused me to pull away…it was this. All of this.”
A hand reached out for me, gentle fingers latching on to my forearm and twisting me around. Josh’s arms enveloped me and I returned the embrace, melting into him. His warmth sent shockwaves down my spine, a sharp contrast to the water around us. When was the last time someone hugged me? I rested my head on his strong shoulder as if he could carry the weight of my world.
“The phone was always so much easier,” I continued, whispering confessions to the darkness. “Easier to be someone else, someone you still knew. But when you came to visit, I didn’t know what to do. Believe me, Josh, I wanted you here. I wanted to see you. But I had to work so damn hard to hide what I’d become. I withdrew, closed myself off from you—I couldn’t let you see the monster.”
“You’re not a monster. You’re my best friend, you always will be. I know you, Zo. You’re a good person.”
“The girl you used to know is long gone. She died in a parking garage six years ago and she’s never coming back.”
Josh pulled away from me, just enough to look me in the eye without breaking our contact, and I froze—not even the ocean itself could move me. Never before had I seen such a look in his eyes. Was it desire? No. It couldn’t have been. My pulse pounded in my ears as his hand found its way to my cheek, caressing my jaw with his thumb. “She’s right here,” he whispered, leaning toward me. I forgot to breathe.
“Hey, guys!”
I gasped, pushing myself away.
Cody was on the shoreline, waving a long arm our way. Josh let out a breath and we headed in.
It was nothing. I was sure of it. It’d always been nothing. And that’s exactly how it was meant to be. We knew that. Just one too many shots, that was all. At least, that’s what I told myself.
“Always perfect timing,” Josh muttered. “Nice to see you with your clothes on.”
Cody ignored him. “Dude, you need to check your cell. You’ve had, like, five missed calls since I got here.”
Speak of the Devil, the phone rattled inside of Josh’s shoe. He picked it up and scanned the caller ID. “I’ll be right back,” he said, walking away, the phone already glued to his ear.
I locked eyes with Cody. He put up his hand
s as if he were trying to calm a wild animal. “Easy, Fido.”
“Where’s my cat?”
“Don’t worry, he’s safe. I got him locked up. You can trust me, I’m on your side.”
“Now would be a good time to start explaining.” My mind raced, going over each possible way I could kill him. I couldn’t be too careful. Friend or not, everyone had the ability to be a traitor. “Let’s start with how you found us.”
“William told me where you’d be.”
“Keep going,” I said, suspicion only rising with his words.
“I’m a shift.”
I gaped at him, lowering my guard just enough that I wasn’t constantly thinking of ripping his head off. “A what?”
“A shape shifter.” His lips curled up, flashing a cocky grin. Maybe “cocky” wasn’t the right word. I shuddered at the thought of his, um, manhood, hanging out on display in my living room. That image was definitely burned into my brain for the rest of my long life.
“Like a werewolf?” I couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled out of my throat. I guess anything was possible. Hell, vampires existed, maybe not the same ones that movies portrayed, but they existed, nonetheless. And we existed, whatever “we” were. Who knew what else lurked in the shadows, just waiting to crawl out?
Cody’s mouth tightened. “Werewolves don’t exist,” he said in all seriousness.
“Oh, sorry.” I tried my hardest to keep a straight face. “Of course they don’t.”
“We’ve been around for centuries, just like you guys. It’s our job to protect the Chosen. Not that you need protecting, Fido,” he added quickly, taking a step back. “We’re kind of like your kick-ass furry sidekicks. Not long after you did your little disappearing act from the hospital, William found me and damn near killed my ass for what happened to you in that parking garage. At the time, I had no clue what you were. William told me it was time to fulfill my duties as a shift. He thought it’d be best to have someone you knew keep an eye on you. It’s a huge deal for a shift to be called to protect one of the Chosen, like one of the greatest honors for our kind. I couldn’t refuse.”
“All this time, you knew about me?” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. To think I could have had someone to talk to this whole time, someone who understood what was happening. “Why the hell didn’t you ever say anything?”
He shrugged. “Dude, you had enough to deal with. Plus, William didn’t think you needed to know. He told me not to say anything. You were the reason I moved here. William wanted me to be closer to you. You know, to watch after you—make sure you didn’t do anything too stupid.”
I laughed. “Well, you must have had your hands full then. Stupid is my middle name these days.”
Cody’s eyes fell to his feet as he buried his toes in the sand. “Did you ever know that I used to have a thing for you?” he asked, completely blindsiding me.
“What?”
“Yep,” Cody laughed, looking back up at me. “Back when you were, you know, human, and I was just a horny teenager,” he added with a coy smirk.
“So, what made you come to your senses?”
Cody’s face fell. “William.”
I searched his eyes, waiting for more. “I don’t understand.”
“When he told me what you were, I knew it could never happen. See, shifts, we don’t live forever. We age slower and usually live seven or eight times longer than most humans, but we aren’t immortal. Don’t get me wrong, there’ve been a number of Chosen-shift hookups throughout history from what I’ve been told. You guys don’t exactly have that many options when it comes to a life partner and we’re as close to immortal as it gets. That is, unless you wanted to be with one of the vamps. Don’t look at me like that,” he said when I wrinkled my nose. “It’s happened.”
“How old are you?” I asked, more than a little confused. “I mean, I’ve known you since we were kids.”
“I guess I’m the same age that you would be right now if you were still human, only my internal clock started running a hell of a lot slower when I hit eighteen and started shifting. We don’t age when we’re in our shifted form. The more we shift, the longer we live. I probably won’t get a gray hair until I’m five or six hundred years old.
“As far as shifts go, I’m still crazy young. But, don’t worry—I’m strong for my age. William wouldn’t have picked me to guard you if he didn’t think I was a bad ass.” Cody grinned. “Besides, you’re still young for your kind also. We’re the perfect match.”
I thought over his words. “So,” I started, “you could live forever in shifted form, or pretty damn close to it.”
“Yeah, but who wants to live forever?” He cringed, realizing what he’d just said. I could practically see him trying to eat his words. “That didn’t come out right.”
“No.” I shook my head. “You couldn’t have said it better. Who would ever want to willingly live forever?” It was strange hearing my worst fears come from someone else’s mouth.
“So,” I said, changing the subject, “it was William who made you move twenty minutes from me?”
“Not exactly…” Cody hesitated, scratching the back of his head.
“What do you mean, ‘not exactly’?”
“Um, well, I’ve been living a little closer than that.”
“Where?”
“In your, uh, apartment,” he mumbled.
“In my—” I stopped short, letting it sink in. I saw red. “Mr. Whiskers?!” I raged.
“While we’re on that, who the hell names their cat Mr. Whisk—”
I slapped Cody so hard it knocked him clear off his feet. I hovered over him as he spat out grains of sand, rubbing his jaw. If he were fully human, that probably would’ve snapped his neck. Not saying he deserved that. Not saying he didn’t.
“Whoa!” Josh shouted. He ran up behind me, linking his arms around mine. He dug his heels into the sand, trying to hold me back. I shook him off with little effort.
“You slept in my bed!” I exclaimed. “You saw me naked!”
Josh made a choking noise.
Cody cowered on the ground, holding his hand out in a pathetic attempt to stop me. “It’s not what you think, Zoe! William made me do it!”
God, I was sick of hearing that.
Josh stepped between us. “What the hell is going on here?”
I was pretty sure he was directing the question at Cody, but I answered anyway. “Nothing.”
Josh dropped his cell back into his shoe and grabbed Cody by the arm, yanking him to his feet. “I’ve got a feeling I’m saving your life right now. I need to talk to you.”
Someone stepped beside me, their feet balanced perfectly on the uneven sand. Only one person I knew could be that graceful. William dropped a hotel keycard onto my lap. “The address is on the back,” he said. “I will see you shortly.”
I looked over my shoulder, but William was already gone.
An annoying buzzing sound filled my ears, tiny vibrations pulsing against my thigh. Josh’s cell. I waved it at him, but he was too preoccupied with Cody to notice. They both looked pretty heated—what else was new?
I flipped the phone over and pressed talk. Before I could get a word in, a woman’s voice exploded through the receiver.
“Josh, where the hell are you? I still can’t believe you dropped me off at some grimy motel and just left. What were you thinking? And now you’re hanging up on me? I can’t believe you! You need to get back here, now. And God help me, I better not find out that you’ve been with that Zoe chick. You know how much I hate the thought of you being alone with her. You give her too much of your attention as it is. It’s totally inappropriate. I’m your girlfriend! I’m the one who loves you—not her. You promised me that you were done with her. You promised you wouldn’t see her anymore. You promised me, Josh!”
I tore the phone from my ear, hanging up before she got the chance to catch her breath. I checked the caller ID. Tiffany. I looked up, watching Josh and Cody’s animate
d conversation across the beach. A girlfriend? Josh wouldn’t keep something so important from me, would he? Had we really grown that far apart over the years? A voice from somewhere deep inside me said yes.
Regardless, this Tiffany had no reason to be threatened by me. There was nothing going on between Josh and me—not to mention that I wasn’t even human anymore. We lived two very different lives and had two very different futures. For example, one day he’d succumb to death, while I’d continue to create it.
Still, I couldn’t help think about that almost whatever-it-was back in the water.
And then something she’d said hit me, like the house falling on the Wicked Witch she apparently thought I was. You promised me that you were done with her. You promised you wouldn’t see her anymore. Never in my life would I have thought that Josh would make such a promise to anyone—girlfriend or otherwise. Hell, he’d just promised me the exact opposite. But, clearly, I was wrong.
My face grew hot as the men returned, the anger within me boiling over. I clutched Josh’s cell in my right hand, the protective case cracking under my fingers.
“Zoe, what’s wrong?”
I chucked the phone at him, careful not to actually hit him. I didn’t want to put a hole through the man, regardless of how angry I might have been. “Your girlfriend called,” I snapped, rising to my feet.
Cody’s face paled. He stepped back. Smart move. I thought I saw Josh pale in the moonlight.
“She wanted me to relay a message to you. Something about a promise you made to her. I’ll make things really fucking easy for you—I’m gone.”
Never in my life, neither before nor after my transformation, had I looked at anyone the way I was looking at Josh. The anger was palpable. I felt my heart breaking and wasn’t sure why. Heart, what heart? I was a monster. I was forced to give up the right to say I had one. Maybe it was for the best. It was only a matter of time before he left me anyway. Better now—just rip the Band-Aid off and get it over with. I straightened, pursing my lips to keep from saying something I’d regret. Well, shit, looked like it was too late for that.
