Until Us

by Cristin Cooper

  “I don’t know what I would do without you,” she said.

  His chest tightened with pent up emotion. He kissed the top of her head. “I hope we never find out.”

  Chapter Seven

  September 2015

  Katie

  “No, Mom. I’m going to stay. I have school and a job,” Katie said with as much conviction as she could muster. But the fact was, she desperately wanted to run home and have her mother and Billy take care of everything for her. However, if there was ever a time to be responsible, it was now. She had another human being counting on her to be an adult.

  “But what about the baby? You’re going to need help.” Her mother pointed out. Again.

  Katie sat at the dining room table with Tyler on her left, and all four of her parents across from her with Tracy and Jeff at the ends. She wanted to groan even, though she knew this was going to happen when she told them about her pregnancy.

  Her mother went back and forth between chewing on her lip to pinching her brows together. Billy sat next to her with his phone out, looking up plane tickets so Katie could fly home with them.

  She looked over at Tyler while reaching for his hand under the table. He cupped her hand between his and squeezed. When she had first met Tyler, she’d liked him immediately. What wasn’t to like? He was funny and sweet. She understood completely why his friendship was so important to Eric. He was loyal, hardworking and cared deeply for his friends and family. A year ago, she had no idea how much his friendship would mean to her. She hoped she could be even half the friend to him as he was to her.

  “I don’t know what I’m going to do, but I have time to figure it out. For now, I’m staying.” She hoped her parents didn’t catch the slight waver in her voice.

  Phillip spoke up, which earned him an evil eye from her mother. “Bridget, Jenny and I live nearby. If she needs a place to stay, she can always move in with us. She already has a room. We can help with the baby or whatever she–they–may need.”

  “I understand you want to make up for the past, but this is her decision,” Bridget said between clenched teeth. Katie found it ironic that her mother would say that, considering she and Billy were already planning on her coming home with them.

  “I’m not making up for the past. I know it isn’t possible, but I’m her father and I can help.”

  Katie looked up at Tyler again, who gave her an encouraging nod. This wasn’t going well and only getting worse. She was pretty sure steam was about to come out of her mother’s ears. If Bridget weren’t currently nursing Will, Bridget would have raised her voice.

  The only ones who hadn’t spoken yet were Tracy and Jeff, but she figured they were still processing it all.

  Katie cleared her throat, but Phillip and her mother ignored her and kept listing the pros and cons of her prospective living situations. Finally, Tracy broke in. “Katie?” she asked. The table went silent and all eyes turned to her.

  “Yeah?” Katie murmured as she looked into Tracy’s sad eyes.

  “I think I can speak for Jeff.” She looked over at Jeff, who nodded, then back to Tracy. “We would like for you stay nearby. I realize moving closer to your parents would be a great option, but…” She looked into Jeff’s eyes. “We would like to be close to our grandchild. You’re carrying a part of Eric, and we want to be a part of the baby’s life.”

  Thinking about how the night before she had been online looking up adoption agencies, Katie’s chest tightened. “I’m retiring this year, so I’ll be home and could help with the baby.”

  Katie looked at Tracy and wanted to beg her to stop talking. She shouldn’t have told them at least until she knew what she wanted to do for sure. “I know you and Alexis enjoy being roommates, but we have a large home and have plenty of room for you and the baby.”

  All eyes turned back to Katie. She thought telling her parents was going to be the hard part. She had no idea they would put so much pressure on her to decide what to do. “I appreciate the help everyone is offering, but I have no idea what I want or should do right now. I just found out, and I need some time to figure it out.”

  Telling them she was pregnant was hard, and she didn’t want to think about what they would say if she decided to give the baby up for adoption? The idea of being a mother was not only terrifying but just thinking about how she would support a child weighed heavily on her heart. She could do it, she knew she could, but would it be at the expense of the baby? Would it have a better chance in life with two parents who desperately wanted a child?

  Tyler pushed back his chair and stood.

  He’s leaving me?

  Just as her heart fell at the thought of being left alone with the parents, he held his hand out to her. “Katie, let’s go for a drive.”

  When they stepped outside, he said, “I figured you might need some air…and maybe a chocolate shake.”

  She grinned and bumped his arm with her elbow. “It’s like you can read my mind.”

  The moment the waitress placed a shake in front of her, all of her stress melted away. Her stomach unclenched and her shoulders relaxed. “I know it isn’t good to stress eat, but at least the dairy in here will be good for the baby. Right?” She looked at Tyler over her chocolate shake with a brow lifted, waiting for him to agree.

  He chuckled. “Absolutely.”

  She placed her elbows on the table and leaned her head on her hands as she slurped her shake. “I can always blame my mom. She used to have a shake whenever she had a stressful day.”

  “I hadn’t realized how much you look like her, well except for…”

  “The eyes. I know.” She gave him a tired smile. “That’s what everyone says, and I like looking like her. I always thought she was the prettiest mom.” She was also the youngest. It was why Katie’s friends loved coming over to hang out at her apartment. Her mom was cool and easy to talk to when she wasn’t freaking out about Katie having sex.

  Tyler moved so he was leaning against the wall with one leg on the bench and his arms folded across his chest. He closed his eyes and said almost offhandedly, “I’m pretty sure you’ll be the prettiest mom.”

  Katie blushed and lightly kicked him under the table. “Thanks. I still can’t believe it.” She sucked in a deep breath and slowly released it. “I’m going to be a mom,” she said in a half-whisper. Even if she did give this baby up for adoption, this child would always be hers.

  Looking at Tyler, she noticed the dark circles under his eyes. He had stayed up late with Alexis two nights in a row. This morning she found them asleep on his bed still dressed in clothes from the day before.

  She had wondered if there had been anything between them, but Alexis made it clear that, except for a short time in middle school, she felt only brotherly love.

  He’s been everyone’s rock this week but has anyone been that for him?

  When they returned, the house was quiet, and everyone was in bed except for her mother, who sat on the couch waiting for her.

  “I’ll leave you two alone,” Tyler said before heading to the spare bedroom. A part of her wanted to follow him and avoid talking to her mom, but this conversation needed to happen.

  Bridget stood and pulled Katie into a hug. “Baby girl.” At her words, Katie melted into her mother’s arms.

  “I’m sorry, Mom. I know you must be disappointed in me.” Even though she knew her mother would always love her no matter what, she hated letting her down. They were the Larson girls. Not only mother and daughter but also friends.

  “Katie, I’m the one who’s sorry. I panicked. When you told us you were pregnant, it brought up all these old feelings, but I know better. Our situations are completely different. You’re older, more mature, and have so much love and support. I just want you to be happy. Of course I would still like you to come home with us, but I understand if you want to stay.”

  “Mom.” Katie pulled her to the couch, and they each took an end and faced each other. “I want to be honest with you. Going home is really
hard.” Bridget opened her mouth to speak, but Katie shushed her. “I love being with you and my Billy and I would like nothing more than to spend more time with Will, but it’s…different. Not in a bad way, but I don’t feel like my life is there.”

  Bridget’s eyes watered. “Sweetie…”

  “Let me finish. I’m not trying to make you feel bad, but you and Billy have created a life together. It hurts knowing you waited for me to leave before you admitted your feelings to each other and it’s hard seeing the life you guys have now. It’s what I wanted when I was growing up. You’re so happy, and I wouldn’t want it any other way, but being in the apartment makes me sad. Some of our stuff is there, but it isn’t ours and even though you two made a room for me at Billy’s, it just isn’t the same. You two have a baby, and I know Billy wants to have another and it doesn’t feel right to ask for your help when you’re starting your family.”

  Bridget wiped the tears from her eyes. “Katie… You are our family. You’ll always have a home with us. You’re our girl no matter how old you get or how many kids you have or how many kids we have.”

  They met in the middle of the couch and held each other. “Just think about it. The offer will always stand.” Bridget leaned back and wiped the tears from Katie’s eyes. “I don’t know what we’re going to do about Billy. I think he already bought you a plane ticket, started your application process for Northern Arizona University, and has painters and cleaners scheduled to refresh the apartment for you,” she said, barely keeping a straight face.

  They laughed as tears streamed down their faces. This was why he was her Billy. “God, I love him,” Katie said, rolling her eyes as she leaned back into the corner of the couch.

  “Me too,” Bridget said with a loving sigh.

  “I’m so thankful for both of you, and it’s comforting to know I’ll always have a home. I love you, Granny.”

  “Oh My God! I cannot believe you just said that to me!” She pinched Katie’s toe and glowered at her.

  “I can’t believe my brother is going to be less than a year older than the baby.”

  “Let’s not think about it,” Bridget huffed. “And if you call me granny one more time…” She pointed her finger at Katie. “I’m Nana to this baby. Got it.”

  Katie giggled. “Got it, Nana.”

  Chapter Eight

  September 2015

  Tyler

  Just as Tyler finished placing Billy and Bridget’s luggage in the trunk of his car, Billy walked over and shook his hand. “I appreciate everything you’ve done for Sweets. She might be strong, but sometimes it’s the strong ones who need the most support.”

  He looked over at Bridget as she walked towards him carrying a crying Will. Billy’s smile grew as he pulled her to his side and kissed the top of her head. Billy happily took Will from her arms and placed him against his shoulder and bounced, but it didn’t soothe the fussy baby.

  When Katie described Billy to him, she said he was soft and gooey on the inside with a hard tattooed outer shell. She wasn’t far off. The way he stood with his shoulders back and his heavily tattooed arms crossed in front of his chest was intimidating. But spending a few minutes with him and the women he loved, it was obvious they had him wrapped around their pinky fingers.

  “He just won’t stop crying,” Bridget said between yawns.

  “Colic?” Tyler asked.

  “Yes,” Bridget groaned.

  Billy kissed her cheek as she put both arms around him. “We’ll get through it,” he reassured her. Something passed between them when their eyes met. Tyler felt like he was intruding on an intimate moment but couldn’t turn away. They seemed to communicate with each other without saying a word. He wondered if that was what happened when good friends turned into lovers.

  Tyler swallowed the growing lump in his throat. He wanted what they had. He thought he had been content with his life, but since seeing Audrey again, he was reminded of what he had wanted and what he had been so close to having.

  “Well, hopefully, the car ride to the airport will help him fall asleep,” Tyler offered.

  “Why didn’t we think to do that?” Bridget said with another yawn.

  “It’s been so long since Katie was a baby, we forgot what it was like to have a newborn,” Billy admitted.

  With a tired smile, Bridget said, “We have to relearn everything.”

  We, Tyler thought. Who was going to be Katie’s we? Who would help her when the baby had a rough night? It was difficult for two adults how much worse would it be for one?

  Katie stepped out of the hotel, pulling the last piece of luggage behind her. “You don’t want to forget this.” She lifted the diaper bag then placed it on the backseat.

  “You guys ready to go?” Katie asked.

  As Tyler pulled away from the airport drop off area, Katie released a heavy sigh. When he looked over at her, she gave him an easy smile. He was happy to see her finally relax, especially after being pulled in so many directions from her loving, well-meaning parents.

  She commandeered the radio and turned it to her favorite radio station that played music from the 80’s and 90’s. He learned early on that she was a fan of 80’s music and had several compilation CD’s she liked to play when she studied, to Alexis’s chagrin.

  “Um…can I ask you about Audrey?” When he looked at her, he noticed her foot taping and her eyebrows drawn together.

  “What do you want to know?” he asked, even though he hated talking about her. He managed to avoid it since she broke his heart eighteen months ago.

  “She was your girlfriend?”

  He had a feeling if he didn’t get it all out right now, she would keep asking uncomfortable questions. He sighed. “I met Audrey at the hospital in Bend when I worked as an emergency room nurse and she worked in administration. She asked me out to coffee one day, and we ended up dating for two years.” He ran his hand down his face as he went on. “I was planning on proposing when she told me she was offered and accepted a job in Portland.”

  “She didn’t want to try the long distance thing? Portland is only three hours away from Bend.” Of course she would ask. She and Eric did everything they could to keep their long distance relationship going.

  “She made it clear her job was more important than what we had.” He was surprised how bitter he sounded. He thought he was over it or at least mostly over it.

  Horrified, Katie asked, “She said that?”

  “No,” he admitted. He hated talking about her for this very reason. Nobody understood how badly she hurt him by taking the job without talking to him first. He also never admitted to anyone that a week after she left, she begged him to move to Portland to be with her. At the time he was still so hurt, he refused. A month later, he went to Portland to beg her to take him back, but it was too late. When he pulled up to her apartment she was outside kissing a man he didn’t recognize.

  “She didn’t have to say it. She left.” His voice was firm and final. Katie didn’t ask any more questions, but he could feel her watching him.

  When they pulled into the driveway of the McHenrys’, Jeff was sitting on the front porch, smoking. “I didn’t know he smoked.” Katie’s jaw dropped but snapped shut when Jeff looked over at them. Tyler was just as surprised as her. It had been at least a decade since he had quit.

  “He hasn’t for years.” His concern only grew when Jeff dropped his cigarette then lit another.

  When Tyler and Katie stepped out of the car, Jeff stood, took a few puffs then put his cigarette out. Shoving his hand into his pockets. “Tyler, do you have a minute?”

  “Yeah. Of course.”

  “I’m just going to grab my stuff. I need to get going too,” Katie said.

  “Oh. You’re leaving?” Jeff’s voice dropped, and his shoulders slumped. He never did like the fact his kids left home, even if they weren’t really his kids. It was what made him a great dad.

  “Yeah. I have my first day of classes tomorrow, and I want to be sure I have e
verything ready.” Katie’s voice was soft and filled with affection.

  “Oh…well. Okay,” he mumbled. How could anyone blame him for wanting his family nearby especially after losing his son?

  Katie went up to Jeff and gave him a hug. He pinched his eyes closed and nodded when she said, “I’ll be by later this week.” She kissed his cheek then turned to go inside the house. Jeff watched her until she disappeared through the front door.

  “What’s going on?” Tyler asked.

  “I need to go to Alaska and pack up Eric’s things and bring them back along with his dog, Bubba.” He glanced at the house then went on. “But Tracy and Alexis are worried about me getting on a plane, so I don’t think I’ll be able to go.”

  He let the words hang between them and Tyler knew what he was asking. Just when he was about to offer to go, Katie walked out carrying her bags. Tyler rushed to her and took them from her and helped her get them in his car as he spoke to Jeff. “I can go if you want. I’ve been there several times, and I’m friends with his roommate. Plus, Bubba knows me.”

  Katie stiffened next him with her brows pulled in. “What’s going on?”

  “I’m going to Alaska to pick up Bubba and Eric’s things.”

  Jeff’s shoulders relaxed and the stress of the situation seemed to melt off of him.

  “Can I go?” she whispered.

  “Are you…are you sure?” Tyler asked.

  “Yeah. I’d like to see where he lived and just…I don’t know. See that side of him. If you don’t want me going, it’s okay. I wouldn’t be able to go until the end of the week anyway, but…”

  “I think it’s a good idea.” Tyler smiled and ran his hands down her arms until their hands joined. He wanted to be the one to show her that side of Eric. Eric had been more himself in Alaska than anywhere else.