by Vicki Beeby
She moved towards the door; Jess stopped her with a hand on her arm. ‘I’ve already seen her. Leave her be.’ She grinned. ‘Besides, you’ll want to scrub ’er down in the yard before you let ’er anywhere near your clean floors.’
Vera sighed. ‘If she’s been playing in the rubble again, I’ll ’ave ’er guts for garters. Honestly, I don’t know where she gets it from. I swear, she’ll turn my hair snow white before long.’
Jess went to put the kettle onto the stove and eyed her aunt’s hair critically. ‘Get on with you. You ’ain’t got a single grey ’air on your head.’ Vera was only in her early forties and could pass for much younger.
Vera patted her hair, looking pleased. ‘Tell me all about life in the WAAF. Are you on leave?’ Vera frowned and looked past Jess into the narrow hallway. ‘I don’t see any case.’
‘I’m not on leave. I’ve just got the morning off. I’ve been moved to London. Well, Stanmore. But it’s only a tube ride away.’
‘Fancy that. So you’ll be able to visit more often.’
Jess nodded. She opened her mouth to reply but a shrill whistle from the kettle interrupted. She hastily spooned tea into the warmed pot and poured the boiling water over it.
‘We’ll take it into the front room,’ Vera said. ‘It’s too dingy in the back room now the windows are boarded up.’
The front room was exactly how Jess remembered, with the same battered couch opposite the tiny fireplace and an armchair on either side. The walls were covered with picture frames containing Uncle Jack’s beloved cigarette card collection.
No sooner had Vera poured the tea than Jess broached the subject that had brought her to Poplar. ‘I wish you would go back to Wales, Auntie. London’s still not safe.’
‘It’s a sight safer than it was in the Blitz, and the house survived in one piece. Anyway, you’re the one who said London was safe.’
‘I know, but I forgot about the flying bombs. It would only take one.’ Jess wished she could tell Vera what Evie had said about a new weapon. It would make this so much easier.
Vera stirred her tea. There was no sugar, so it was either out of habit or simply to buy her time to frame her next words. ‘There’s nothing for us in Wales. None of the kids would be friends with poor Hannah. They teased her something rotten for her accent and said she was a dirty slum child. Although how they had the cheek to say that when Hannah was the best turned-out child in Welshpool, I don’t know.’
Jess put down the slice of fruit cake she’d been holding, her appetite suddenly gone. ‘You never said so before.’
‘I didn’t want to worry you. There was nothing you could have done, and you were right. While the Blitz was going on it was madness to stay in London when we had somewhere safe to go.’
‘Was it really that bad?’ It was at Jess’s urging that Vera had taken Hannah out of London at the start of the Blitz. Jess, then working in the Operations Room of a fighter station near the Sussex coast, had known only too well how many bombers were swarming towards London every night, because she was plotting their progress. She had been sick with worry on Vera and Hannah’s behalf.
Vera patted Jess’s hand. ‘Not at first. Hannah was just a tiny mite, happy to play in the garden, and there was plenty for me to do with the WVS. But she’s five now, and she needs friends.’
‘She needs to be alive and well more,’ Jess said. ‘The Allies are in France now. It can only be a matter of time until the end of the war.’
Vera snorted. ‘It’ll all be over by Christmas? These things always take longer than expected. How long is Hannah to be lonely? The longer she goes without friends, the harder it will be for her to make them when she gets back. And she was being bullied, Jess. I had to take her away.’
‘But what about—?’ Jess stopped when the front door slammed, and footsteps pattered up the passage.
‘Mummy, can I—? Oh.’ Hannah appeared in the doorway. Jess could only imagine she’d been rolling in the gutter since Jess had last seen her, because both plaits were now unravelled and her dress was so splodged with dirt, it was hard to tell what colour it was supposed to be.
Hannah gave a beaming smile and skipped into the room. ‘Jess! I didn’t know you were coming.’
Jess had to press her lips together to suppress their sudden trembling. Only when she was sure she could speak without her voice wobbling did she clear her throat and say, ‘Hello, love. I’m so happy to see you.’
Hannah ran towards Jess who would have hugged her despite her mess, but Vera sprang to her feet, hands on hips. ‘Hannah Louise Knight, don’t you dare take a step closer until you’ve had a wash and changed your clothes. Do you want your cousin to think you’re no better than a monkey in a zoo?’
‘All right.’ Hannah backed away then said in her high, clear voice, ‘You’ll still be here when I get back?’
When Jess nodded, Hannah beamed then sped off.
‘Honestly, that child.’ Vera shook her head but Jess could tell from the indulgent smile that Hannah wouldn’t get into much trouble. ‘I keep warning her not to wander into the bomb sites, but will she listen?’
‘There won’t be any bomb sites in Welshpool.’
‘Now don’t you start that again. We’re staying here and that’s final.’
‘I—’
‘I said that’s final. Hannah was unhappy there and so was I. I missed Jack terribly.’
Jess knew when she was defeated. ‘How is Uncle Jack?’
‘Doing very well, although he’s working all hours. Still, I mustn’t complain. At least he’s here and not in the forces.’
‘Auntie Vera,’ Jess said, speaking quickly before Hannah came back into the room. ‘You know my two friends, Evie and May?’
‘Oh, yes. Your letters are full of them. How are they?’
‘Very well. They’re in Stanmore too.’
‘Then you must bring them here. I’d love to meet them.’
‘I will, but—’ Jess glanced through the doorway but there was no sign of Hannah. She must either be washing in the kitchen or getting changed. ‘They don’t know about… well, you know.’
Auntie Vera shot her a dark look. ‘And you worry they’d think less of you if they found out? If they’re half the friends you say they are, it shouldn’t make any difference to them.’
‘Maybe. I just… I couldn’t bear to lose them.’
At the sound of running feet down the passage, Jess turned pleading eyes onto Vera.
‘Don’t worry. I won’t say a word.’
A moment later, Hannah was running into the room, hands and face pink and shining as though they’d never been near dirt and wearing a clean gingham dress. ‘Jess! Did you bring me a present?’
‘Yes, I— oof!’ This last exclamation was wrenched from her as Hannah hurled herself into Jess’s lap. ‘You’re getting too big to do that.’
And the rest of the morning passed in laughter, present-giving and a loud and enthusiastic game of cards.
‘Let me know when you’re going to bring your friends. I’ve been saving my rations for your next visit so I can bake us a nice cake.’ This was Vera’s parting remark as Jess left after an early lunch.
‘I will.’ And Jess set off at a brisk walk for Bromley station, easier in her mind. She could bring Evie and May for a visit without fear of losing their friendship.
Chapter Four
Jess and May emerged from their first night watch, blinking in the sunlight.
‘It’s like coming out of the cinema,’ Jess said, yawning. ‘I’m always surprised when it’s light outside.’
‘And we’ve got a whole day to ourselves to enjoy it,’ May said.
Jess’s stomach chose that moment to give a loud gurgle. ‘I don’t know about you, but I’m going to the mess to get breakfast. Then I’m going to put my head down for a couple of hours or I’ll never make it through to tonight. We’re having a night on the town, remember.’
It had been, Jess decided later that evening a
s she walked with May and Evie to Stanmore tube station, the perfect day. After a leisurely breakfast followed by a restorative sleep, they had walked to the Spring Ponds for a swim. These were on private land, but the landowner had kindly allowed the members of No. 2 WAAF Officers’ Mess to swim there. They were reached by a short walk across fields. After an energetic swim in the chill water that involved much splashing and giggling, they had climbed out to lie on their towels and dry in the sun. Now Jess was refreshed and looking forward to a night in the bright lights of London. Well, maybe not the bright lights – not with the blackout. Still, even after nearly five years of war, there was no thrill quite like a night in London, and she had been looking forward to this ever since she’d heard of her transfer.
‘Alex is meeting us at Piccadilly Circus,’ Evie said as they descended the steps to the platform.
‘I wouldn’t think you two need any help from Eros,’ Jess said with a grin, referring to the famous statue.
But when they arrived, Jess saw that the statue had been dismantled and the plinth and basin were covered in boards. There was nothing to admire but a few peeling posters urging Londoners to invest in war savings. ‘Good thing you don’t need Eros’s help,’ she said sadly. Then again, Eros hadn’t exactly led her to choose wisely when she’d been a naive actress, so maybe it was a good thing he had been packed away.
Then a figure emerged from the other side of the boarded-up plinth and Evie gave a cry of delight and flung herself into his arms. Jess and May turned away and made a show of talking among themselves. May dabbed at her eyes.
‘Missing Peter?’ Jess asked. She patted May’s arm in a show of sympathy.
May nodded. ‘I got a letter from him today, though, so I know he’s all right. He’s not too far from London, so we’ll be able to meet fairly often.’
‘I thought I heard his squadron had been posted overseas?’
‘They have, but the RAF won’t post him abroad because of his leg.’
‘Of course.’ Jess had forgotten Peter had a prosthetic leg. ‘Where is he now?’
‘Up in Suffolk. Carrying on with the work he was doing in Oldbourne.’
Jess nodded in understanding. Peter had been trialling airborne interception systems to aid in catching enemy bombers at night. Thanks to the work of pilots like him, it was becoming easier for pilots to navigate at night and find airborne targets.
They turned when Evie ran up behind them and grabbed their arms. ‘Come on. Alex is taking us to a club he knows.’
All the evidence of her friends’ happy relationships had made Jess feel lonely. She forced a smile. ‘What are we waiting for? I for one am planning on dancing the night away with as many officers as I can find.’
But when they walked through the door of the Crescent Moon club, the soft notes of ‘Moonlight Serenade’ drifting into the night air, it was one officer in particular that made Jess stop dead.
Evie, who had been a few steps behind, her attention on Alex, bumped into Jess’s back. ‘Why have you stopped?’
Jess couldn’t answer. All she could do was gaze at the man seated at a table near the stage. A strange roaring in her ears blotted out the music and her vision faded so that the dark-haired man was the only thing in focus. He wasn’t looking her way but studying a menu card. Even though his head was lowered, she could see enough of his features to recognise the man who had set her heart aflutter while at Amberton. The man who had brought her heart to life when she had thought it had died for ever. The only man who had made her feel that way since—
Evie shook her arm. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘Milan.’ Saying the name seemed to break the spell; she could hear the music again and her vision returned to normal.
‘Oh. Are you going to be all right?’
‘Course I am. Me and Milan were never serious.’
Alex, who had entered last, caught them up and saw where they were looking. ‘I bumped into Milan earlier today. He was at a bit of a loose end so I invited him to join us. I didna think you’d mind.’
‘Why should I?’ Shoulders back, chin up and smile. No. Don’t just smile – sparkle.
* * *
Milan looked up from the menu and saw Alex approach, three women in WAAF uniform following. He recognised Evie straight away; he rose and greeted her then turned to her friends. His heart stuttered when he saw who they were. May stood in front of Jess, so he drew a breath and greeted her first. She could have replied in fluent Cantonese for all he knew; his whole attention was on Jess. He couldn’t drag his gaze from her. Then before he knew it, May, Evie and Alex sat down, leaving him staring at the woman who had broken his heart. She had taken off her cap, and her hair gleamed gold in the light of the chandeliers.
‘Nice to see you again, Milan,’ Jess said. She gave him the same beaming smile that had dazzled him the first time they had met and every time after that. However awkward he felt at meeting her again, it was clear she had no such feelings. She met his gaze without flinching and carried herself with a confident posture that made her seem a good few inches taller than her actual height. What was she waiting for? Oh, yes. A reply.
‘It is good to see you, too, Jess.’ And it was. No matter how he had tried to forget her in the years since Jess had left Amberton, the memory of her was a song that he could never clear from his head.
Jess arched a perfectly shaped eyebrow, and he stared back uncomprehendingly. Then it struck him that he was standing between her and the table. She couldn’t sit until he moved. The only remaining seat beside his own was the chair between him and Evie. Without knowing how he was going to cope spending the whole evening sitting so close to her, he pulled back the chair so she could sit. Then he took his seat.
Perhaps May had noticed the awkwardness, for she spoke at once. ‘It’s lovely to see you again, Milan. Evie mentioned you were on reconnaissance duties now.’
Milan grasped at the conversation opener eagerly. ‘That is correct. Although I was forced to ditch my machine in the sea two days ago. I have to wait for another one.’ Thankfully he had managed to recover the precious film without it getting damaged, although his CO had given him what one of the British pilots had described as ‘a right royal dressing down’ for losing the Spitfire.
‘Two days ago?’ Jess, who had been studying her drinks menu with unconvincing concentration spoke sharply. When Milan nodded, she laughed. ‘Well, of all the—’ she broke off then said. ‘You know we can’t speak of our work?’
‘Of course.’ He’d asked to be allowed to observe in Ops once when he’d been rotated to non-combat duties, so had a rough idea of what Jess did and knew the ‘special duties’ WAAFs were bound by in accordance with the Official Secrets Act.
‘Well,’ Jess said, ‘let’s just say that someone was watching over you that day.’
‘Then thank you.’ He understood then that Jess must have been involved in the chain of information that had sent the rescue launch to the right spot. ‘If there had been any delay I don’t think I could have held on.’ His plane had been rapidly swamped in the choppy sea and the launch had arrived just in time.
Something in Jess’s expression seemed to shift. She gave him an unreadable look. ‘I’m very glad they picked you up. We never normally hear, you know. We just do our jobs and pray the people who need help get it.’
After all this time she still cared for him. The realisation gave him hope. He had been hurt and confused when Jess had ended their relationship. Other people had managed to keep relationships going while separated – it must be more unusual for couples to be living near each other with the war on. When Jess had insisted being with him had just been a bit of fun, it had thrown him. While he had always known she enjoyed flirting with the other pilots, he had been sure she had genuine feelings for him. There had been a softness in her face, an extra glow in her eyes when she had been with him that had never been there when she’d spoken to other men.
Come to think of it, though, there had been times she
had deflected his questions when he’d asked about her acting jobs or her family. When that happened, her affection had always cooled for a day or two before she had shaken off whatever had bothered her and she’d returned to her usual bedazzling ways. At the time he’d excused her odd behaviour as a symptom of the stress they had all been under, struggling through the Battle of Britain and the early days of the Blitz. It was only now that the connection between his questions and her cooling off fell into place. She was hiding something, and he wished he knew what it was. He was sure nothing would make him feel any differently about her. Whatever secret she was hiding, it wouldn’t change the fact that beneath her fun-loving, slightly vain exterior, she was loyal, intelligent, brave and caring.
The waitress arrived to take their orders.
‘I will pay,’ he said to the others. ‘To celebrate my initiation into the Goldfish Club.’ He tapped the flap of his left-hand pocket now holding a winged goldfish badge on its underside. It proved he belonged to the exclusive club of airmen who had survived a ditching at sea. ‘And as thanks for my life,’ he added, addressing Jess in particular.
When the waitress left, he wanted to speak more to Jess, but she was now in conversation with Evie.
‘Do you still see the other members of Brimstone?’ May asked, preventing him from joining the conversation with Jess and Evie. ‘What is Jiří doing?’ She faltered. ‘He isn’t…?’
‘Jiří is fine,’ he told her. He smiled. ‘A little older but no wiser.’
‘Thank heavens for that,’ Jess said. May’s mention of Jiří had caught the attention of all at the table. ‘The day Jiří learns sense will be a sad day for all of us. I always laugh when I remember the two of you as the Ugly Sisters.’
‘Or when he fell off the stage when he was in the pantomime stag costume,’ May added, her eyes bright.
Amid the laughter that followed, Milan turned to Jess. ‘So you do still think of me. That makes me glad.’
And as he went on to explain to May that Jiří was doing the same work as him, he couldn’t help but notice how, although Jess had turned back to Evie, every now and then she would cast a glance in his direction when she thought he wasn’t looking.
