by Jade Alters
And I want to.
The thought doesn’t scare me at all. I always knew I’d find my mate in the world one day. But I also know that it’s far too soon to be talking about all that. Luciana is willing, it seems, but I’m not about to scare her off with talk of forever commitments when we haven’t known each other for very long.
I just need to wait and see where this goes.
“I’m glad you’re here,” I say.
She turns to smile at me.
“So am I,” she says.
Despite knowing how mad Dane is going to be at me, it’s evening before I enter my own home again. I’ve kept Dane updated via text all day, not wanting him to worry that I was dying somewhere, but I know my brother is going to be furious anyway.
I sniff appreciatively at the air. Though, it seems he cooked dinner, so he couldn’t be too upset.
Maybe I’ll just wait to tell him that Luciana is my mate until after dinner.
Dane is standing at the counter, stirring something in a pot, and I can see the tense line of his shoulders as he glares down at it. I clear my throat and he looks up, transferring the glare to me.
“Warwick,” he says stiffly. “You’re home in time for dinner.”
“Thanks for cooking,” I try.
It doesn’t appease him. Slowly, I sit at the table as he dishes up the food, a spicy curry that we both love with rice. He carries them to the table and sets my plate down slightly harder than normal.
“Thanks,” I say.
It takes Dane four bites before he cracks.
“Where have you been all day?” he asks.
“At Luciana’s,” I say.
Dane’s expression darkens.
“And last night?” he snaps.
“There, too,” I admit; there’s no point in lying now.
Dane scowls and sits up straighter.
“Are you an idiot?” he demands. “You have no idea who this woman is! For all we know, she could be a Hunter herself, who collects rare animals. You haven’t even seen her farm, so you have no idea if those creatures are even still alive.”
“Actually, I saw them today,” I say. “There are quite a lot of them and they seem to adore her.”
Dane huffs.
“Either way, we know nothing about her,” he says stubbornly. “How can you trust her so easily that you would spend the night with her. Were you that desperate for a good fuck?”
My hackles rise instantly.
“No,” I say coldly. “She’s my mate.”
That pulls Dane up short. He sits back, stunned.
“What?” he gasps.
“I realised it yesterday, while we were talking to her about what we are,” I say. “I had that feeling our parents always told us about. She’s my mate, Dane.”
“She can’t be,” Dane splutters. “She’s a human!”
“And?” I ask.
“Warwick, think about it!” Dane exclaims. “Fine, you’re happy now, but you and I both know that we’ll live far longer lives than any human. What are you going to do when she dies of old age? It’s just going to leave you heartbroken! That’s why phoenixes usually mate with other phoenixes!”
“Unless you haven’t noticed, other phoenixes are in fairly short supply right now,” I say.
But my tone isn’t as sharp as I wanted. How can I snap at Dane when he’s just looking out for me?
“It doesn’t matter, anyway, Dane,” I say with a small smile. “I don’t get to choose who my mate is, you know that. She’s been my mate from the moment we were both born. Maybe it is the world’s idea of a joke, but it doesn’t matter right now. I’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.” I pause. “If we come to it. Luciana doesn’t know anything about phoenix mates, okay? I don’t want to scare her off yet.”
“What happens if you’re together for the next couple of months and she still doesn’t accept it?” Dane demands.
“Then, that will be that,” I say with a shrug. “I can live with being rejected, you know. A lot of phoenixes never even find their mates.”
Dane glares down at the table.
“I don’t like it,” he grumbles. “A human should never be in our world. I don’t know what her father was thinking, dragging first himself and then her into all this.”
“Well, what’s done is done,” I say. “Just give her a chance, alright? If nothing else, she’s my mate, which means she’s trustworthy.”
“Maybe,” Dane says stubbornly, and I know that’s the best I’ll get out of him.
“Thanks,” I sigh. “Oh, while we’re on the subject… I’m going to give Luciana the poisoned dagger.”
“What?” Dane exclaims. “Are you out of your mind?”
“She’s a toxicologist, Dane,” I say. “She wants to study the poison and maybe see if she can develop an antidote for it. You can’t say that won’t be useful.”
“Of course it will be,” Dane scowls. “Right until she stabs us in the back with it.”
“You said you would give her a chance,” I remind him.
“Giving her a chance does not mean giving her one of the only weapons in the world that can kill us!”
I sigh and grimace. Looks like I’ve got my work cut out for me. One way or the other, however, I’ll be getting that dagger to Luciana. The only question left is just how long it will take to convince Dane it’s a good idea.
I glance at my brother. I don’t even have to wonder.
We’re going to be here all night.
Luciana
I watch, fascinated, as poison slowly drips into the small vial I’m holding, wearing thick gloves that had been given to me at Warwick’s insistence. I’m glad of it, now, as I can still feel the intense heat of the freshly drawn poison even through the gloves. It’s absolutely fascinating.
“And this is the only thing that can kill you?” I ask, eyeing it.
“Even a single scratch from another phoenix is fatal,” Warwick says with a nod. “It works fast and there’s no hope of being saved.”
“Unless there’s an antidote,” I say, my eyes gleaming.
“Don’t get your hopes up,” he warns. “An antidote would have to be administered within seconds of being poisoned. Even if you did manage to develop one, you would have to be standing right beside a phoenix to save them.”
“Is that the same for other phoenix animals?” I ask.
“All of them,” Warwick says solemnly.
I stare down at his hand, which, beneath my eyes, had slowly turned into a sharp, clawed talon, one that the poison could be drawn from. Warwick had said that his nails would have also worked, but he and Dane always made sure to keep their nails blunt for that very reason.
“How do the two of you care for the other phoenixes?” I ask now. “Many of them have sharp talons or claws.”
“We have to wear special material, made from the scales of a dragon,” he explains.
I try not to jerk at the mention of a dragon. After all, why wouldn’t dragons be real as well? I have a literal phoenix sitting right in front of me. In fact, I’m probably wearing the dragon scale gloves right now, since Warwick had given them to me.
We sit in silence as I collect the rest of the poison, getting as much as I can before I pull away and allow Warwick’s talon to return to a normal hand. I hold up the vial. It isn’t a lot, because Warwick was wary of giving me too much (and he had said that Dane, who wasn’t happy at all with what we were doing, would probably never forgive him), but it would be enough for me to test it.
“Will this cool down?” I ask.
“I have no idea,” he admits. “I try to avoid using my poison if I can.”
I hope it does get cooler, or I might never be able to test it; I have a feeling that many of my tools will melt if I try now. Carefully, I stopper the vial and put it down carefully on a heat proof mat that I’d collected from the kitchen.
“I’ll take a look at it later,” I promise. “I’m confident in my ability to develop an antidote for
this.”
“I hope so,” Warwick says, but there’s no denying the doubt in his voice.
I can’t really blame him. With how fast acting the poison actually is, it isn’t something that he would want to experiment with. On top of that, he’s probably seen other phoenixes die from the poison before, he would know just how horrible it is.
My heart clenches at the thought. I love the challenge of studying poisons and working on more effective antidotes, but I’m definitely not unaware of just how dangerous poisons actually are. I’ve seen so many different poisons, both fast and slow, and I’ve seen the effects on many different people. There’s no denying that poison is horrendous, and, often, not something I can save people from.
But I want to do this. Discovering the plight of Warwick, Dane and other phoenixes; a purpose had begun to burn within me. I might have been enjoying the relative peace of being on this farm, and I had found that I may not entirely miss the danger, but I’m a toxicologist. Being faced with a challenge like this excites me and makes determination settle in the centre of my chest. I will find an antidote, no matter how long it takes.
It was all about helping others, I realise. I had joined Doctors Without Borders because I wanted to protect those who had no help otherwise. But even I can’t deny that, in the last few months, I had lost sight of that. My feverish search for David and an understanding of what had happened to him had prevented me from doing my job properly. In the end, my obsession had resulted in me abandoning my duties.
In many ways, I definitely can’t blame my superiors for sending me on a forced vacation. Being here has helped me clear my mind, and part of me feels utterly mortified at how I had acted. How many people had I neglected to treat properly because my mind had been elsewhere?
In a way, helping Warwick and Dane feels like my chance at redemption. I can prove, to myself, that I can still care for others.
And not only that.
I steal a glance at Warwick. He’s inspecting his own hand, and sending curious but wary glances at the clear poison in the vial. Had he ever seen his own poison before? I doubt he has.
Sleeping with Warwick the other night, despite the fact that I certainly hadn’t planned on it, had opened me up to a frightening vulnerability. But even stronger than that, is the slowly burgeoning feelings that I can already sense growing within me the more time I spend with Warwick. I’d finally gotten the full story about what had happened with the milk pail, and we had had a good laugh over his nervousness.
I like spending time with him. I enjoy seeing him smile and hearing him laugh, and it makes me feel good to know that, sometimes, I’m the cause of his cheer.
On top of that, he’s here all the time, now, coming around in the mornings to help me out before going back home to his brother and his own farm. Getting to spend at least a few hours every day with him has definitely lifted my mood.
After I lost David, I had honestly thought I would never love anyone again. I certainly don’t love Warwick, yet. But the more time I spend with him, the more I can see myself falling, if I let myself.
A large part of me wants to.
“Are you going to head back home?” I ask Warwick, mentally shaking myself.
“Yeah, Dane’s waiting for me,” Warwick replies. He snorts. “You should have seen the way he glared at me!”
I smile, but it’s a little strained.
“He still doesn’t trust me?” I ask.
“Don’t take it personally,” Warwick says. “He doesn’t trust anyone. Even when we were kids, he didn’t have any other friends, and he was always suspicious of mine.”
“I guess your history wouldn’t have helped with that,” I murmur.
“No, it wouldn’t have,” Warwick replies quietly. Then he shakes his head and grins. “But, even before that, he was antisocial. With how responsible he is, you’d think he was the older one.”
I can’t help but laugh. Finding out that Warwick was actually older than Dane by two years had been a bit of a shock. Looking at the way they acted, I honestly would have believed that Dane was the oldest.
“That’s because you’re hopelessly immature,” I tease, laughing at him.
“I like to think that I just know how to have fun,” Warwick grins.
I laugh aloud. That’s another reason why I like spending time with Warwick. He has a wicked sense of humour, and he never fails to make me smile.
“Alright, I better go before Dane calls and demands to know where I am,” Warwick says, standing and stretching. He glances at the poison. “Thank you for giving this a go.”
“I’m going to succeed,” I promise him solemnly.
Warwick meets and holds my gaze. I can see his resigned acceptance of the fact that I might not be able to do it, as well as the slightest hope that I can. I’m determined to make sure not to let that hope down.
It’s going to be long and difficult, but I’ve studied toxicology for many, many years, and I know I’m one of the top professionals in my field. I can do it, I know I can.
“Thanks,” Warwick says finally.
He leans forward and presses his lips to mine in a soft, warm kiss that makes tingles dance happily down my body. I feel bereft as he pulls away, and I wish I can follow him and taste more of him. But now isn’t the time for it; we both have work to do today. Quite apart from working on the poison, I need to do my normal farm duties, which I’ve left until later than normal in order to collect this poison.
“I’ll see you later,” Warwick says. He winks at me. “I’ve got a picnic breakfast planned for tomorrow.”
I smile at him.
“I look forward to it,” I say.
He lets himself out, familiar with the layout of my house by now, and, when I’m left alone, I sit and look down at the innocent-looking vial sitting on my table. Warwick had said he didn’t think the poison was fatal to humans, that it would just make us sick, but he honestly didn’t know. Part of me wants to know, but I’m not really willing to offer myself as a test subject. Especially when there isn’t yet an antidote.
I itch to get working on it now. But I can’t. Not only do I have other things to do in order to look after the rest of my farm, the poison is untouchable for now. I don’t know how long it will take to hopefully cool down, but it’s probably a good idea to leave it for now and check on it later. Then I can finally get started.
I stand and stretch my arms over my head. It’s almost funny how quickly I’ve settled in here. But maybe it’s because I have something to look after. The animals, my father’s legacy, the phoenix brothers… they all need protecting.
And I’m going to look after them all.
Warwick
It takes only a week before I know that I never want to lose Luciana.
The thought strikes me as I look up at her from where I’m lying on the ground, covered in mud after the pig that I’d been trying to shepherd toward the barn had barrelled me over. She’s laughing heartily, clutching her stomach as the clear, beautiful sound rings out around the field, and she’s beautiful.
I want to see her laugh for the rest of our lives.
“Thanks,” I said, deadpan, shoving all other thoughts to the back of my mind for now; I can think more about it later. “Are you going to keep laughing at me, or help me up.”
Still snickering, Luciana offers me a hand, which was her first mistake. I clasp it, holding on for a moment as I feel the warmth of her palm. And then I yank her into the mud beside me.
She yells out in shock as she falls, but doesn’t have enough time to catch herself. The mud is particularly slimy today after a brief shower the previous night, she looks up at me with a glare, globs of wet dirt on her cheek.
“Seriously?” she growls. “Well, since you like the mud so much…”
She picks up a handful of it and dumps it straight over my hair. I sputter and shake it off, making her laugh and scramble backwards as flecks fly everywhere. We’re both filthy now, which means we’ll need to wash befo
re we even think about doing anything else, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. It doesn’t help that thoughts of joining Luciana in the shower immediately fly through my mind, bringing with it images of wet, silken skin and drops of water that fall down, down, down her long, lithe body…
I hear someone clearing their throat and my thoughts immediately snap back to the present, yanking my mind away from the sultry images as I feel my pants tighten. I cough and then Luciana and I look up.
Dane is standing there, looking disapproving.
“Dane,” I say. “What are you doing here?”
Dane scowls.
“Did you forget about the delivery pick up?” he demands.
My eyes widened. Shit, I completely forgot. Once a month, I travel to the nearby city to pick up supplies that we can’t get in the small valley. As I’m the only one between us who can drive, the job inevitably falls to me. Normally, I don’t mind the chance to go to the city and explore civilisation for a day, but today is different. Today, I have Luciana, and I had promised her my help.
However, there’s not much I can do. After all, I’m the only one who can do the supply run.
Seeing the indecision on my face, Dane sighs, aggravated.
“What are you doing tomorrow?” he grumbles.
“I was going to help Luciana with some things here, and she was going to show me her studies on the poison,” I say.
Dane’s eye twitches, as it always does when he’s particularly upset.
“Is it something I can do?” he asks Luciana, reluctance clear in his voice.
“Well, yes, but you don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Luciana says, smiling at him.
I roll my eyes when he doesn’t smile back.
“Warwick won’t go if he thinks he’s depriving you,” he sighs. “I’ll call them and tell them we’ve been delayed a day. I’ll come over here and help out while you’re in the city.”
Regardless of how antisocial and sour he can be at times, Dane truly is an amazing brother. I smile thankfully at him.
“Sounds great,” I agree.
“Only if you’re sure,” Luciana adds.
