by Nora Roberts
He wanted to eat her alive, to feed on her until this grinding hunger was finally sated. He wanted to lose his mind so he could think of nothing but this driving primal need.
The delicacy of her skin only made him mad to possess it. Her fresh female scent only stirred feral appetites.
When she exploded against him, he knew only a bright and burning triumph.
She dragged at his jacket, her fingers fumbling in her rush, her choked cries muffled against his mouth. Dizzy, desperate, she yanked at his tie.
“Please.” She no longer cared that she was reduced to begging. “Please. Hurry.”
He was still half dressed when he pulled her to the floor. And she was arching up in demand when he drove himself into her.
Her nails raked over his shirt, under it to dig into flesh gone hot and damp. Racing with him now, she met him thrust for frantic thrust.
Their breath in rags, their hearts slamming to the same primal beat, they surrendered to the frenzy.
Rider and ridden, they plunged off the edge together.
She lay spent, and used, and blissful on the bare, polished floor with the light from her prized Tiffany lamp spreading jewels in the air. As the pounding of blood in her ears faded, she could hear the night sounds coming through her open windows.
The water, the lazy call of an owl, the song of insects.
The heat still pumped from him, and spread through her like a drug. She rubbed her foot indolently against his ankle.
“Seth?”
“Hmm.”
“I never thought I’d hear myself say this, but I’m so very glad we went to that tedious, irritating party tonight. In fact, if they put you in this kind of mood, I think we should go to one at least once a week.”
He turned his head, saw the bright pool of red on the floor. “I’ll pay to have your dress fixed.”
“Okay, but it might be awkward to explain the damage to a tailor.”
He came from violence, he thought. He knew how to control it, channel it. He recognized the difference between passions and punishments. He knew sex could be mean, just as he knew what had just happened between them was a world away from what he’d known and seen during the first years of his life.
And still . . .
“There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Dru.”
“I imagine there’s a lot we don’t know about each other yet. We’ve both been with other people, Seth. We’re not children. But I know I’ve never felt like this about anyone else. And for the first time in my life, I don’t seem to need to plan every detail, to know every option. That’s . . . liberating for me. I like discovering who you are, who I am. Who we are together.”
She stroked her fingers through his hair. “Who we will be together. For me, it’s a wonderful part of being in love. The discovery,” she said as he lifted his head to look down at her. “The knowing there’s time to discover more.”
He was afraid time was the problem, and that it was running out.
“You know what I’d like you to do now?” she asked him.
“What would you like me to do now?”
“Carry me up to bed.” She hooked her arms around his neck. “Here’s something you didn’t know about me. I’ve always, secretly, of course, fantasized about having some strong, gorgeous man carry me up the stairs. It goes against my sense of intellect, but there you are.”
“A secret romantic fantasy.” Determined to have this one night of peace, he laid his lips lightly on hers. “Very interesting. Let’s see if I can fulfill that for you.”
He rose, then glanced down at himself. “I’m going to lose the shirt first. It’s a pretty silly image, some guy wearing nothing but a tuxedo shirt, carrying a naked woman upstairs.”
“Good idea.”
He dealt with the studs, the cuff links, then tossed the shirt over by her dress. He reached down for her; she reached up for him.
“How’s it going so far?”
“Perfectly,” she said, nuzzling his neck as he carried her toward the stairs. “Tell me something I don’t know about you.”
It broke his stride, but he shifted her and continued up the stairs. “I’ve been dreaming about my grandfather’s wife. I never met her. She died before I came to Saint Chris.”
“Really? What kind of dreams?”
“Very detailed, very clear dreams where we have long conversations. I used to listen to the guys talk about her and wish I’d gotten a chance to know her.”
“I think that’s lovely, and loving.”
“The thing is, I don’t think they’re dreams. I think I’m having these conversations with her.”
“You think that when you’re dreaming?”
“No.” He laid Dru on the bed, stretched out beside her, then drew her against his side. “I think that right now.”
“Oh.”
“That got you.”
“I’m thinking.” She shifted until her head rested comfortably in the nook of his neck. “You think they’re some sort of visitation? That you’re communicating with her spirit?”
“Something like that.”
“What do you talk about?”
He hesitated, and evaded. “Family. Just family stuff. She told me things I didn’t know, stuff that happened when my brothers were kids. Stuff that turned out to be true.”
“Really?” She snuggled against him. “Then I suppose you’d better listen to her.”
* * *
“THAT’S a smart woman you’ve got there,” Stella commented.
They walked through the moist, heavy night air near the verge of Dru’s river. The lamp in the living room window sent pretty colored light against the glass.
“She’s got a strong, complicated brain. Everything about her’s on the strong and complicated side.”
“Strong’s sexy,” Stella said. “Don’t you think she looks to you for the same? Strength of mind, of character, of heart? All the rest is just glands—not that there’s anything wrong with glands. Makes the world go round.”
“I fell for her so fast. One minute I’m standing up, the next I’m flat on the ground. I never thought it would be the same for her. But it is. Somehow.”
“What’re you going to do about it?”
“I don’t know.” He picked up a stone, skipped it out over the ink-black river. “You take somebody on, for the long haul, you take up their baggage, too. My baggage is damn heavy, Grandma. I have a feeling it’s about to get a lot heavier.”
“You’ve handcuffed yourself to that baggage, Seth. You’ve got the key, you always have. Don’t you think it’s time to use it and pitch that load overboard?”
“She’ll never go away and stay away.”
“Probably not. What you do about it is what makes the size of the load. Too damn stubborn to share it. Just like your grandfather.”
“Really?” The idea simply warmed his heart. “Do you think I take after him in some ways?”
“You got his eyes.” She reached up, touched his hair. “But you know that already. And his stubborn streak. Always figured he could handle things himself. Irritating. Had a calm way about him—until he blew. You’re the same. And you’ve made the same damn mistakes he made with Gloria. You’re letting her use your love for your family, and for Dru, as a weapon.”
“It’s just money, Grandma.”
“Hell it is. You know what you have to do, Seth. Now go on and do it. Though being a man, you’ll find a way to screw it up some first.”
His jaw set. “I’m not dragging Dru through this.”
“Hell. That girl doesn’t want a martyr.” She planted her hands on her hips and scowled at him. “Stubborn to the point of stupid. Just like your grandfather,” she muttered.
And was gone.
SEVENTEEN
THE BAR WAS a dive, the sort of place where drinking was a
serious, mostly solitary occupation. The blue curtain of smoke, thick enough to part with your hands, turned it all into a poorly produced black-and-white movie scene. The lights were dim, encouraging patrons to mind their own, with the added benefit of hiding the stains when someone decided to mind his neighbor’s.
It smelled of last year’s cigarettes and last week’s beer.
The recreation and socializing area consisted of a stingy strip of space along the side where a pool table had been jammed. A bunch of guys were playing a round of eight ball while a few more stood around sucking beers, the expressions of bored disgust on their faces showing the world what badasses they were.
The air-conditioning unit was framed in a window with a sheet of splintered plywood, and did little more than stir the stink and make noise.
Seth took a seat at the end of the bar and, playing it safe, ordered a Bud in the bottle.
He supposed it was fitting she’d dragged him out to a place like this. She’d dragged him into them often enough when he was a kid—or if she’d had transportation, he’d slept in the car while she’d gone in.
Gloria might have been raised in a solid upper-class environment, but all the benefits and advantages of that upbringing had been wasted on a spirit that continually sought, and found, the lowest level.
He’d stopped wondering what it was inside her that drove her to hate, to despise anything decent. What compelled her to use anyone who’d ever had reason to care for her until she’d sucked them dry or destroyed them.
Her addictions—men, drugs, liquor—didn’t cause it. They were only one more form of her absolute self-indulgence.
But it was fitting it would be here, he thought, as he sat and listened to the sharp smack of balls, the rattling whine of the failing AC, and smelled the smells that pulled him back into the nightmare of his childhood.
She’d have come in to pick up a john, he remembered, if she needed cash. Or if she’d had money, to drink herself drunk—unless booze hadn’t been her drug of choice for that night. Then she’d have come in to score.
If the john was the target, she’d take him back to whatever hole they were living in. Sex noises and wild laughter in the next room. If it was drink or drugs, and they put her in a good mood, there would’ve been a stop at some all-night place. He’d have eaten that night.
If the mood had turned nasty, there would have been fists instead of food.
Or so it had been until he’d been big enough, fast enough, mean enough to avoid the punches.
“You gonna drink that beer?” the bartender demanded, “or just look at it all night?”
Seth shifted his gaze, and the cold warning on his face had the bartender easing back a step. Keeping his eyes level, Seth pulled a ten out of his pocket, dropped it on the bar by his untouched beer.
“Problem?” His voice was a soft threat.
The bartender shrugged and got busy elsewhere.
When she walked in, a couple of the pool players looked over, checked her out. Seth imagined Gloria considered their leering smirks a flattering assessment.
She wore denim cutoffs that hugged her bony hips and frayed at the hem just below crotch level. The snug top was hot pink, left several inches of midriff bare. She’d had her belly button pierced and added a tattoo of a dragonfly beside the gold bar. Her nails, fingers and toes were coated in a glitter polish that looked black in the ugly light.
She slid onto a stool, then sent the pool players one long, hot look.
It only took one look at her eyes for Seth to realize at least a portion of the money he’d given her had gone up her nose.
“G and T,” she told the bartender. “Easy on the T.”
She took out a cigarette, flicked on a silver lighter, then blew a slow stream of smoke at the ceiling. She crossed her legs, and her foot jiggled in triple time.
“Hot enough for you?” she said and laughed.
“You’ve got five minutes.”
“What’s your hurry?” She sucked in more smoke, tapped her glittery nails in a rapid tattoo on the bar. “Drink your beer and relax.”
“I don’t drink with people I don’t like. What do you want, Gloria?”
“I want this gin and tonic.” She picked up the glass the bartender set in front of her. Drank long and deep. “Maybe a little action.” She sent the pool players another look, licked her lips in a way that curdled Seth’s stomach. “And just lately I’ve been thinking I need a nice little place at the beach. Daytona maybe.”
She took another drink, left lipstick smeared on the rim. “You, now, you don’t want a place of your own, do you? Still living in that same house, crowded in with those kids and dogs. You’re in a rut.”
“Stay away from my family.”
“Or what?” She sent him a smile as glittery and black as her nails. “You’ll tell your big brothers on me? You think the Quinns worry me? They’ve all gone soft and stupid, the way people do when they hang around some dead-ass town their whole fucking, useless lives, breeding noisy kids and sitting around the TV every night like a bunch of goddamn zombies. Only smart thing they did was take you in so they could get the old man’s money—just like that asshole married my spineless sister for hers.”
She tossed back the rest of her drink, rapped it hard twice on the bar to signal for another. Her body was in constant motion—the jiggling foot, the tapping fingers, the swivel of her head on her neck. “The old man was my blood, not theirs. That money should’ve been mine.”
“You bled him for plenty before he died. But it’s never enough, is it?”
“Fucking A.” She fired up another cigarette. “You got yourself some smarts, after all these years. Hooked yourself up with a live one, didn’t you? Drusilla Whitcomb Banks. Woo-hoo.” Gloria threw back her head, let out a hoot. “Fancy stuff. Rich stuff. Bagging her’s the only smart thing you ever did. Set yourself up for life.”
She snatched the glass the minute the bartender set it down. “ ’Course you’ve been doing pretty well for yourself drawing pictures. Better than I realized.” She crunched down on ice. “Can’t figure why people’d piss away all that money on something to hang on the wall. Takes all kinds.”
He laid a hand on her wrist, slowly closed his fingers around it in a grip mean enough to make her jolt. “Understand this: You go near my family or Dru, you go around anyone who matters to me, and you’ll find out exactly what I’m capable of. It’ll be a hell of a lot worse on you than Sybill knocking you on your ass the way she did years ago.”
She leaned her face into his. “You threatening me? Son?”
“I’m promising you.”
Through the drugs and alcohol, she caught some hint of that promise. And eased back, as the bartender had done. “That your bottom line?” She picked up her drink with her free hand, and her thin, used face went cagey. “You want me to steer clear of your nearest and dearest?”
“That’s my bottom line.”
“Here’s mine.” She jerked her hand free, reached for her cigarette. “We’ve been playing nickel and dime long enough, you and me. You’re raking in the dough with your pictures, and you’re screwing your way into a big, fat pile of it. I want my cut. One-time deal, lump-sum payment, and I’m gone. That’s what you want, right? You want me gone.”
“How much?”
Satisfied, she took another deep drag, let the smoke stream into his face. He’d always been the easiest of marks. “One million.”
He didn’t even blink. “You want a million dollars.”
“I’ve done my homework, sweetie pie. You get big bucks when the suckers plunk it down for your paintings. You pulled in a pile over there in Europe. Who knows how long you can run that con? Add to that the fancy piece you’re busy banging.”
She shifted on the stool, recrossed her legs. The mix of drugs and alcohol raging through her system made her feel powerful. Mad
e her feel alive.
“She’s rolling in it. Lots of money there. Old money, too. The kind of money that doesn’t like scandal. Mess things up for you if it got out in the press that the senator’s purebred granddaughter was spreading her legs for a mongrel. One that was ripped from his mother’s arms when she came to the father she’d never known for help. I can play it all kinds of ways,” she added. “You and the Quinns won’t come out clean in any of them. And the dirt’ll stick to your girlfriend, too. She won’t hang around once the shit starts to fly.”
She signaled for a third drink, shifted again. “She’ll dump you, and fast, and maybe people won’t be so willing to shell out for your pictures once they hear my side of things. Oh, I bought him his first little paint kit. Sniff, sniff.”
She threw back her head and laughed, the sound so full of malice and glee, the pool players stopped smacking balls to look over. “Press’ll lap it up. Fact is, I could sell the story, make a nice little bundle. But I’m giving you a chance to buy it first. You can consider it an investment. You pay me, and I’m out of your life once and for all. You don’t, and someone else will.”
His face was blank, had stayed blank throughout her rant. He wouldn’t give her even his disgust. “Your story’s bullshit.”
“Sure it is.” She laughed and gulped gin. “People can’t get enough bullshit, not when it’s piling up on somebody else. I’ll give you a week to come up with it—cash. But I want a down payment. We’ll just call it good-faith money. Ten thousand. You bring it here, tomorrow night. Ten o’clock. You don’t show, then I start making some calls.”
He got to his feet. “Spend another ten on nose candy, Gloria, you’ll be dead in the back room of some dump like this long before you can enjoy any part of that million.”
“Just let me worry about me. Pay for the drinks.”
He simply turned his back on her and walked toward the door.
* * *
HE couldn’t go home, not when he intended to sit in the dark and get quietly and thoroughly drunk.
He knew better. He knew it was an escape, self-pity, a one-way trip. Steady, deliberate drinking was a crutch, an illusion, a trapdoor.
