The woman does most of the talking once the helmets come off. "Who would like to try on a protective guard suit?" About half of the girls in the room raise their hands. I am one of them. Avra is not. I am shocked at how heavy and claustrophobic the suit makes me feel once the helmet is latched on. Ahh, I feel like I can't breathe. When I touch the guard next to me, it doesn't register in my brain that I am touching skin. I feel like a plastic person touching plastic things. Ahh! Get me out of here! I press the button on my neck and finally breathe easy again when the helmet releases. I don't know if I want this job after all... But I could wander around outside, I tell myself. What good is the ability to wander around if you feel like you're going to die in an enclosed piece of plastic?
The guards set up tiny, red-colored plastic animals and people figurines around the experiment station sinks. They give each of us a plastic gun that is filled with water and tell us to shoot the plastic figurines into the sink.
Avra hates it. She misses hitting anything five times in a row. She gives up and gives me her water gun.
I tell myself that I can do this as I raise my plastic water gun. Bam, bam, bam, miss, miss, bam. I shoot four out of five figurines into the sink. I miss a couple more times before getting the fifth one. One of the male guards grabs my shoulder and drags me up to the front of the room. "I know you, little girl," the tall broad-shouldered man with a shaved head says as we walk.
I'm a little bit creeped out. "How can that be? I don't know you," I say as I gulp loudly.
"You like to look out the window on the south side of the complex."
I breathe a sigh of relief. This is probably the guard I've been calling a jerk every night. "Oh, yeah. My bed is right next to a window."
He breathes down my neck. "Do you look out the window because you want to be a guard like me, or do you do it so you can find ways to get in trouble?"
I answer him rapidly, "I want to be a guard. I'm a yellow, so I can. Ask Mentor Maxine, she knows I want to."
He waits a few seconds before he answers me, "I believe you, but I've been told to block your window. I'm sure it's for your own good. You're a good shot, but you'll need to overcome your fear of the suit."
I feel sweat start to form on my forehead. "Yes, sir." Great, they are watching me. I stand at the front of the room awkwardly as the winners of each experiment station are brought up next to me. I notice that all five of the boys from my smart gang are standing at the front of their room too. What do you know, we rebels know how to shoot. I am surprised and thrilled when Shasta joins me at the front of the room.
The female guard clears her throat. "We will have a shoot off amongst the six winners. They will each get an experiment station sink, five figurines, ten shots allowed. The girl who can shoot all five figurines into the sink in the least amount of shots will get an endorsement from me to become a guard. Only one girl from each age group is given a preliminary spot in the guard program. Take this seriously and aim true."
Wow. I don't feel ready for this. I wish she hadn't raised the stakes like that. I was fine when this was just for fun. I walk to the nearest experiment station, Shasta takes the next one over. I take my refilled water gun and aim it at the middle figurine. If I miss him, I have a good chance at taking out the guy next to him. Bam. Middle figurine down. I aim for the next figurine on the right. Bam. He's down too. I look at Shasta's sink, three figurines are down. Did it take her more than one shot each? I don't know. I take aim again, for the figurine to the left of the middle. Bam. I missed the one I was aiming for, but I hit the figurine next to him. Three down, two to go. I aim for the figurine on the left. Miss. Dang it, too far left. At least it's my first miss. I aim at the same one. Bam. Woohoo! One left to go. I aim so intently that my eyes start to cross. Miss. Ahh! I can do this. I aim. I wait for my eyes to see clearly again. Perfect. Bam. I think I did pretty well. I look around the room. Everyone is done.
"May I have your attention please? The winner of our shoot-off is the one and only... Shasta!" the female guard sings out. What? She got all five in less than seven shots?
"Getting all five figurines in five shots is an amazing feat, even for us, trained guards, so congratulations, Shasta. Unfortunately, it has come to my attention that you are a red, so you are disqualified from entering the guard program. That forces my hand in giving the coveted endorsement from me, Guard Venus, to the second-place shooter, Elira!"
I stand there stunned as a signed piece of paper is forced into my hands. Guards, mentors, and fellow dormmates congratulate me over and over again. I don't even smile at them. I am disappointed that I didn't shoot better. But I'm even more disappointed that Shasta doesn't get what she has rightfully earned and has always desired simply because she wears a red button.
Chapter 13
It's chemistry day and I am determined to make contact with my gang. I have something important to say to Shasta too. This career exploration stuff has been fun and educational and all, but yesterday made me realize how wrong some of the complex's ways feel to me. Even my number one job choice feels wrong. The only people I can talk to about it are Mentor Maxine and my smart gang.
I make sure when we're told to get into groups around a bunsen burner, that I get into Shasta's group. Avra doesn't follow me fast enough and she ends up in a different group than me for the first time this week. Oh well, we'll be fine in different groups for a day. Shasta is avoiding my eye on purpose. I approach her several times, but she turns her body away from me. I feel terrible, but I won't be ignored. I keep walking around her until I am right in her face, or I guess, below it. "Shasta, I'm sorry about what happened during the shoot-out yesterday."
She won't look me in the eye. "Yeah, don't worry about it."
I look at my feet too. "I am, and I will worry about it. What they did was wrong and disgusting to me. Here, I want you to have this." My hand pulls a folded and crinkled piece of paper out of my pocket. I hand her the written endorsement by Guard Venus. Shasta lifts it up to her eyes, closer than I would expect. I wonder if her eyes give her problems. If they do, it makes her shooting yesterday even more impressive.
Shasta shakes her head in disbelief. "You shouldn't have crossed out your name, Elira. This paper will do me no good, but it could still do you some good."
"No. I didn't earn it. If I become a guard it will be because I earned it fair and square. I wrote your name on it because you earned it, and we all know it." I elbow Tessa who is eaves-dropping next to me and she nods in agreement. I exhale, relieved that I said what I promised myself I would say. I leave Shasta to herself and start helping Tessa measure powders for our chemical compound.
The balding, scrawny, male chemist helping our group sweats bullets as we measure powders. "Please don't touch any of these chemicals without gloves, girls. The green liquid in particular will burn a hole right through the table if we spill it, so be careful."
I don't need telling twice. I put on some thick rubber gloves before touching any of the liquids. When I add each ingredient, the compound changes color dramatically. It's quite thrilling! When I add the last ingredient, an interesting smell comes from our test tube.
Our chemist beams at me. "Well done! Do you know what it is?"
I shake my head as I crinkle my nose, "I have no idea."
"Toilet cleaner!" Woohoo. We're going to change the world with that. I yawn, unimpressed that my concoction is headed straight to the janitor's closet.
I look over to the glass wall just in time to see Andric winding up his enormous arm to punch the wall. Bam, bam, bam! I see a huge fist blast through the wall just below the enormous glass window that connects us with the boys. The fist pulls back from where it came from, then Bam! It bursts through the wall again. When the fist retracts this time I see Bicep's eyes peeking through the hole.
"Elira, girls, take the green fluid. It burns through things really well; finish
breaking through this wall. I have a door rigged on this side that goes into the hall. It will burst into flames any second now. Get out and get out now. I've heard the mentors talking, they are going to make us their puppets. They are going to stop us from fighting back, get out now, while you..."
Two big, muscular mentors approach Andric, punching him in the face and the gut. They haul him out as he unsuccessfully fights them off. He never finishes his sentence. I hear one of them say, "This was a dumb move, dissident. You're a goner, now."
Girls around me start screaming. The chemist at our experiment station hurriedly puts all the chemicals at our table away before any of us can swipe them. I see Garth and Jefrey pushing their way toward the hole. Fear fills me as I walk closer to the hole and touch the powdery broken wall. Jefrey reaches me first, he sticks his hand through the hole and takes mine.
I yell into the hole, so I can be heard through the screaming girls, "They took him, Jefrey. They called him a dissident. He won't come back!"
Jefrey squeezes my hand. "It's okay, Elira. Don't do anything he said. You'll be okay."
Garth is pressed up against the glass now, but he can't fit his hand through the already crowded hole. I call out, "Tomorrow, nine o'clock, information, please." Garth nods and walks away. Jefrey looks at me questioningly as another mentor pulls him and the other boys away from the hole.
Mentor Bridget pushes her shriek button. We all shut up and cover our ears. "Everyone is to clear the school room. Go to your bedrooms and wait there for an hour until your 5:00 victuals arrive. No one is to enter the school room until the hole the dissident created has been patched. Do you understand?"
There are some yeses and some crying and some hysterics, but we all get the point. We need to get out of here or be charged as dissidents ourselves. Andric said my name specifically, I better get out of here and keep my nose clean all evening. I grab Avra and rush for the door. I don't stop rushing until the two of us are safely on our beds trying to slow down our breathing.
Chapter 14
I wake up with a headache. I cried myself to sleep last night. I can't believe I will never see Andric again. I've never had a personal relationship with a dissident before. It feels awful. What is just as bad, is that I know I'm being watched too. I don't know where I am mentally, but it's not here. Avra pulls me out of the doorway as I try to zombie walk out of our room.
"Elira, you should probably brush your hair before you go eat." Oh yeah. I should do that. I see a brush sitting on Vanessa's bed and absentmindedly pick it up and start tearing through my hair. Avra doesn't say anything as she takes the brush out of my hand and puts it back on Vanessa's bed. She takes my hand and walks me to my bed. She makes me sit down and gently brushes my hair with my own brush. She then braids it into a tidy double braid. She really is the best friend a girl could have.
Mentor Roberta has an announcement for us as we congregate in the common room. She doesn't seem as affected by yesterday's happenings as we are. "Today will be your last job research day. All of the remaining jobs will be discussed by a speaker from each area, but you will not be allowed to do any more hands-on job trials."
Gee, I wonder why. The glass dorm is an absolute nightmare right now. Everyone keeps saying the most horrible things about Andric. I don't know if I can eat. My stomach is wound into a tight knot. I lay my head on the table at 7:00 victuals and hope that everyone will just shut up and leave me alone.
Avra of course doesn't leave my side. "It's not your fault. He made his own choices, now he'll have to deal with the consequences."
"What are the consequences for sure?"
Avra rubs my back gently. "I'm pretty sure they get sent into the toxic world, but some people are saying... well, who cares what they say. It will be okay, Elira."
Yeah, right. One last tear runs down my cheek, the last one left, after a night of waterworks, "There are worse things in this life than living in a toxic world, right, Avra?" I don't tell her that I fear I might be sent out there next.
Avra watches the last few girls walk to the school room door. "Yeah, I'm sure there are worse things. Don't worry about him. He wanted out. He's getting what he wanted. He's a tough guy."
Someone clears her throat behind us. "You two are going to be late. Get yourselves into the school room right now," Mentor Roberta exclaims in her usual less-than-loving way.
Avra and I avoid eye contact with her as we trudge into the school room. I stay awake through all the job lectures in the morning by sheer willpower, but I remember nothing about what is said. The hole in the wall has been patched up already. The mud isn't dry, so there are chairs and red tape blocking us from touching the area. After noon victuals I don't even pretend to listen. I lay my head down on my desk and cry myself to sleep. I keep seeing the mentors punching Andric and calling him a dissident. Am I next? What have I done?
Avra nudges me and I jerk my head up. Drool strings from my lip to my desk. Ahh! I swipe it off with my sleeve. A few girls around me snigger as they leave the room for 5:00 victuals. I wipe my eyes and my mouth one more time, then stand up with as much dignity as I can muster and follow Avra to the dining tables. I sit down, hoping no one will talk to me.
"Hey raccoon eye, are you sad they found out your boyfriend is a dissident?" Julie taunts with a smile.
I ignore her as I pull the foil off my tray. Ooh, coconut cream pie—they must be feeling sorry for us in the kitchens. This is like a once a month treat. Mmm. Too bad it tastes just a tad stale.
"I'm glad you decided to go for the bad boy type. You've left the twins all to me."
What? Does she like the twins? I scowl at her. "I suggest you shut up, Julie."
"Everyone could tell that you loved Andric's big muscly arm, but only I could tell that you loved his small shriveled arm even more."
That's it. I grab my coconut cream pie and shove it in her face as I scream like a banshee.
Mentor Maxine grabs my shoulders and says as she marches me out, "You will stay in your room for the night without victuals. What an inappropriate thing to do."
As soon as we're in my room, Mentor Maxine sets me on my bed and leaves. I feel terrible. Mentor Maxine is going to hate me forever. That hurts just as much as knowing Andric is gone for good. I want to cry but the tears won't come. I curl into a ball on my bed and hope the softness of the pillow will send me to a softer place than the complex. I don't care that my hands are still sticky from the pie. I'm surprised when Mentor Maxine comes back in with a warm wet towel. She takes my pie covered hand and washes them off. Tears stream down my cheeks. She hugs me as I let the tears fall.
"It's okay to cry, Elira. It's a terrible thing to lose a friend."
Those words take me back to when I was six. My tears fall faster. When I'm all cried out, Mentor Maxine tucks me into bed and wipes the last tear from my cheek.
•
I sit up in bed. Everyone around me is sound asleep. I didn't even know I had fallen asleep until now. I look at the red numbers on the digital clock on the wall, 9:35. Oh no! I told Garth to meet me at 9:00. I rush out of my room and into the common room. Mentor Maxine is the only one in here. She is reading a book. "I'm sorry, Mentor Maxine. I just need to go into the school room for a few minutes, I won't be long."
Mentor Maxine looks up from her book only briefly. "Just a few minutes, then you go back to bed. You've had a couple of hard days. You need your sleep."
"Okay."
I rush into the school room and feel my heart drop as I see Garth leaving his school room. I run up to the glass and pound it as hard as I can with my fist. Bam. Bam. Bam.
Garth turns around at the door and sees me. He runs up to the glass and points at the grate. I rush to the metal square and swivel it up. The plexiglass barrier pops out as I give a muscly tug on it.
"Elira! I was afraid something happened to you. I didn't
think you were coming."
I wipe the sleepiness out of my eyes. "I'm so sorry. I fell asleep."
"You look like you've been crying."
Great, I must look horrible. "I have. I can't believe one of my own friends is being charged as a dissident."
Garth leans his forehead against the grate. "Yeah. I know. We tried to stop him, but he was so sure that something terrible was about to happen, he wouldn't hear reason."
"Did they do anything to the rest of you?"
Garth laughs humorlessly. "It's a mentor yelling fest over here. They were not happy with us when they replaced the burned door. The other guys on this side told the mentors that Rocky, Bryon, Jefrey and I were Andric's friends, so they took us into separate rooms and questioned us all. We told them that we had no idea what he was up to. I don't know if they believe us, but we're going to play it safe for a while."
I breathe a sigh of relief that the repercussions weren't worse. "That's a good idea. I will too. There's so much I want to say, but I don't have time right now. Mentor Maxine said I could only have a few minutes in here."
"Does she know what you're doing?" Garth's voice sounds concerned.
"No."
"Okay, good. Please be careful. We need you, I—need you to be safe."
Did he really just say that? He cares about me! I didn't realize how much I needed to know that. "I need you to be safe too. Promise me you won't do anything stupid."
"I promise."
"Thanks for waiting for me, Garth. I've needed a kind voice all day."
"My voice is yours, any time you want it."
My stomach feels fluttery. "I-I wish I could talk to you every day, but we have to be careful. I'll write soon. Goodbye, Garth."
"Goodbye, Elira. Sweet dreams."
I tremble as I put the plexiglass back in place. I feel, so much better than I have all day. I stand up and wave to Garth as he smiles and waves back. Ahh. I will be okay. Like Mentor Maxine said, it's terrible to lose a friend, but my remaining friends will help me get through it. I smile at Mentor Maxine as I walk past her to my bedroom.
The Complex Life (The Complex Trilogy Book 1) Page 7
