by Karen Deen
Xavier
Nothing clears the head and the lungs like a hike in the mountains on a sunny day where the air is crisp and not too hot. I’m one of the lucky people who gets to do a job they love so much so that it doesn’t feel like work. I have always loved exercise of any sort and being a personal trainer combines that love with working with people who need my help. It’s satisfying to help someone through a weight-loss program, or just trying to get fitter in life. I also love to work with clients who are going through rehabilitation from an injury just like Zara. That is how we met her, after her major knee surgery. Watching people go from not being able to function normally though a day, to get back running and exercising at their peak is hard work. Well worth it seeing the results they achieve. The beginning is always filled with pain and the client is wanting to kill me. By the time they are back living a normal life, they’ve done the backflip and love me for what I’ve done to help them get where they are.
Nat is the same. We both love exercise and the outdoors. Both of us were in all the sports teams at school. Track and field was my favourite, although I loved playing football where I played offense as a slot receiver. Boy, did I receive.
Especially the benefits it brought of hot-looking cheerleaders who were happy to hang around the team. To a teenage boy who was full of hormones, this was the best part of high school. It’s stereotypical that cheerleaders hook up with all the boys on the football team. Let’s just say my high school was a stereotypical one then. Lost my virginity to Jenny Harris, a blonde cheerleader with legs that went forever and boobs that always seemed to be popping out of whatever shirt she wore. It happened at the team bonfire after a win against Georgeville High. We smashed them, and everyone was celebrating with beers and pizzas out in Mitch Colburn’s paddock outside town. Jenny and I had been dating for a few weeks, and she was all over me the whole night. The boys were egging me on. I had no idea what I was doing but figured if she was wanting me to do it then it was time to pop my cherry and become one with the world of sex. Jenny had already slept with half the team, so I knew she was experienced. I didn’t tell her it was my first time. There was no problem with my dick being ready. She had been rubbing her tits all over me all night and wiggling her sweet little ass in my lap. She knew exactly what she was doing. I took her out to where all the cars were parked and fucked her in the back of my truck. No romance, just raw, fumbling, inexperienced sex. It didn’t take long for me to want to lose my load and she was screaming loudly as she was coming. I think it was to make sure everyone heard her rather than anything to do with me.
I was walking around for the rest of the night with a big grin on my face after finally doing the deed. It meant nothing to her, obviously, because a week later we broke up and she moved on. She upgraded to the coveted prize of dating the quarterback. Every cheerleader, along with every girl in the school, wanted to be with him. Jordan Bandon was hot property. Luckily for him, he worked it out as he got older that concentrating on his game was more important than cycling through the cheerleaders. Coach Sampson took him under his wing and mentored him through finishing school with good grades as well as a full scholarship to play college football. He is now playing in the NFL and married to a Victoria secret model. They are the glamour couple of the team. I’m still in contact with him occasionally but his life is crazy busy, and I totally understand that. You only have so many years in the NFL so one needs to make the money while they can.
A few times we have chatted about his training and different injuries he was trying to get through without letting the team know. The worst thing that can happen in the pro league is to be benched so someone else gets a chance to play your spot, and they play a perfect game. He knows he can trust me to help and keep it to myself. Sometimes it’s going back to where you came from that makes you feel safe. I have been to a few games with tickets courtesy of Jordan and caught up for a quick beer afterwards. He keeps telling me I could get a job on the team as a trainer but it’s not my style these days. I’m happy and content where I am. He always asks about Nat when we’re catching up. I can never work out if he’s just being polite or if he had a bit of a thing for her in high school and maybe still carries a torch. She was never one to fall all over the guys on the team. She was also off-limits, being my sister. The bro code says that you don’t cut your mate’s grass and you don’t touch your mates’ sisters. However, I always wondered if there was something between them.
Reaching the peak of the mountain, I stand, taking in the view. I wish Ally were with me. I think she would really love to sit here and look out over the valley. I can’t believe she’s the first thing I think of while looking out at the view. This time yesterday, I hadn’t even met her and now I can’t get her out of my mind. It’s a sensation I don’t quite know how to handle and it’s not one I’ve ever had before.
The noise of twigs snapping under feet and the sound of breathing startles me, spinning around to see who is behind me has my heartrate racing. I thought I was alone, but obviously not.
6
Alesha
“AUNTY LESH, look at me. I can ride Patchy all by myself now. Daddy doesn’t have to hang on to the reins anymore. I learneded all by myself…well, with Daddy’s help,” Sammy is yelling out to me from the middle of the kids’ riding paddock that Zach has set up for them. It’s a small paddock where they are safe on the horses. He bought them as a wedding present when he married their mom. Here, they can learn to ride and get their confidence before heading out to ride on the rest of the farm.
“I can see you, Sammy, and the word is learnt, not learneded.” I chuckle to myself. He has improved a lot with his reading since I have known him, but he is still a long way behind Sophia. “You are getting so clever, Samuel, you will be a better rider than your dad soon.” Zach laughs at me.
“He is already a better rider than his Aunt Alesha, that’s for sure.”
“Wow, thanks big brother. Riding is not my thing, all right? You know I am not very confident at adventurous things.”
Sophia, sitting beside me, reaches over and puts her hand on my arm. “It’s okay, Aunty Lesh, I am not very good at it either. I get scared being up that high. Daddy says I am getting better, but I will never be as good as Sammy.” Her quiet little voice shows how insecure she still is in some ways, although she has come a long way from where she was.
“That’s okay, honey, we can’t all be good at the same things. We’re all different and have different talents. I bet you’re better at dancing than Sammy is.” A smile creeps up her face and she nods. “See, we all have talent at different things. You just keep doing the things you love and feel you’re good at. The other things you want to try, have a go at them and just keep trying. You will get there if you keep practicing.” I reach out and pull her to me to hug her, then, just to get her laughing again, I give her a little tickle in the side which has her wriggling and giggling trying to get away from me.
“Look, here comes Mommy with Thomas. He must be awake now.” Sophia jumps down from the fence and runs towards Emily. She’s never far from her mom and her baby brother. It’s so cute. I’m not sure how helpful she is but it’s all out of love that she wants to be there with them. I turn back to watch Sammy riding, so he doesn’t feel left out, and notice Zach. The look of love and adoration he has in his eyes as he watches his wife and son walk towards him. The son he thought he would never have, a little one that is so precious to them. He doesn’t treat him any different than the twins, but we all know that we are blessed to have Thomas in our family.
“Time to hop off Patchy now, Sammy. We need to give Sophia her turn on Bubbles.” Zach takes the reins to lead Patchy back to the yard where there is the water trough and place for the kids to hop off the horses safely. Sammy starts to protest and a few quiet words from Zach has him stopping before the sentence is even finished. Zach might be a pushover as a dad, but he is also making sure they grow up with manners and learn the right way to do things and treat people. Watchin
g him help Sammy take off the saddle and reins for Patchy, has my ovaries twinging. One day, I hope I will find the man to live my life with and have our own little family.
“Alesha, can you take Thomas while I take Soph over and help to get her saddled up on Bubbles?” Emily asks coming up beside me, lifting Thomas up into my arms where I’m sitting.
“It is a hard job, but I think I can manage it.” She laughs at me as she walks towards the yard with Soph.
“Hey, little man. You look like you had a nice sleep and I think Mommy has just fed you, too. What more could a little boy want to make him happy, hey?” A little grin comes across his tiny face. It’s like he is answering me, but we all know it will just be from wind. I didn’t know much about babies before Thomas was born but I have learnt a lot just from watching and listening. I know when my time eventually comes that I will be the crazy book lady. Reading every book ever written on how to be pregnant, how to have a baby, how to raise a baby and the list will go on. My poor future husband will think I am a lunatic, but I won’t care. I can’t do anything new unless I have researched it until my eyes bleed.
Thomas snuggles into me. I lean down to kiss him on the forehead and run my nose down his cheek. The smell of a baby to most women turns us to mush. You can’t think of anything except how cute they are and how you want to take them home with you. It blocks out the thoughts of two am feeds, changing shitty nappies, and the screaming you just can’t stop because they can’t tell you what’s wrong. All that is forgotten when they’re sleeping peacefully in your arms, snuggling in to your chest.
My peace is broken as Sammy climbs up the fence behind me. “Look at Sophia, Aunty Lesh. She is riding really good, isn’t she?”
“She sure is. Won’t be long and you will be teaching Thomas how to ride Patchy.”
“No, he will have his own horse. Daddy said Patchy is all mine. I’ll be the best teacher, won’t I? That’s what big brothers do. Soph won’t teach him because she can’t ride as good as me.” Sammy, as per usual is talking without taking a breath.
“It will be a long time before Thomas is ready to ride so Sophia might be a really good rider by then. You’ll just have to wait and see. It’ll be nice if you keep helping her and encouraging her to keep trying. Just like she helps you with your reading sometimes.” I can see him trying to take in what I have just told him.
“Okay, I will try to do that. But the big brother always looks after the others, like Uncle Grant does. He is the boss of all of you. He says he looks after you all. I am going to do that too when I’m big.”
Looking determined, he turns back to call out to Sophia what a good job she is doing. All I can think is poor Sophia, Thomas and any other children who come along. If Samuel turns out anything like Grant, then they will think he is as big a pain in the ass as we do with Grant. I love that he wants to look after us, but seriously, we are all adults. Pretty sure we know how to live our own lives by now. Well, maybe, except Lilly, but that is a whole other story.
Sitting here, I start to remember all the times Grant has been there for me. If I am truly honest with myself, he has always protected me and made me feel safe. I shouldn’t complain as there are plenty of people out there who aren’t as lucky as me to have a family that look out for each other. He tries to act all tough but deep down has a big heart and loves us all deeply, which is where the protective nature comes from.
“Sammy, just remember when you’re bigger that you need to be kind when you are trying to look after them. Don’t be too bossy, because they might not like that. Okay?” He nods his head even though I know he doesn’t really understand what I mean. One day it will sink in when his siblings are yelling at him to back off and stay out of their lives. I can’t wait for that day.
After watching the kids riding, we head down to the river for a picnic lunch. Emily has packed a basket full of goodies. I don’t know how she does it. She is a super mom in my eyes. Laying down on the blanket under the shade of the trees with her, listening to the laughter coming from the side of the riverbank. Zach has taken the kids down to teach them how to skim rocks on the water. He has Thomas in the pouch on his chest, which gives Emily a little time to relax and just breathe without someone needing her.
“Have I told you today how wonderful your brother is?” She giggles as she lays back on the blanket next to me.
“I hope you are just talking about how great a father he is, because anything more than that is too much information for a sister to handle. Listening to Lilly most days is enough to make my ears bleed.” Emily is now laughing so much she is grabbing her stomach.
“Alesha, don’t make me laugh so hard after I have just had a baby, otherwise I will pee myself. Something you won’t understand until after you have popped out a couple of those large Stevenson melon heads. They wreck you for life. Let me assure you.” Now that is something I don’t want to hear. I can already feel my legs squeezing together at the thought of it.
“Are you trying to say we have big heads in this family? Maybe the boys, but not me. I’m a delicate flower. Daddy’s little princess, I was called when I was born. But then came Lilly, who became everyone’s princess.” With that we both burst out laughing. I love Emily, she’s the best sister-in-law I could ask for. So down to earth and motherly. She is so easy to talk to. I have Lilly, but she gets carried away so easily, sometimes it’s just nice to have Emily to talk to now as well.
We both settle down and lay silently enjoying our surroundings. Xavier is creeping back into my head through the silence. I sigh a little at the frustration of not knowing how to keep him out, or if I even want to.
“What’s wrong, Alesha, that was a big sigh from someone who never has any worries in her life?” I think of making up some story or just telling her that it’s work but the way she is looking at me I know she will see through that.
“To be honest, I don’t even know. The best way to describe the situation is confusion.” I sit up, pulling my knees to my chest and wrapping my arms around them. Emily rolls onto her side so she’s looking at me with eyes full of motherly compassion.
“I’m here if you need to talk. I’m a good listener.”
“Please don’t say anything to Zach, or anyone else for that matter.” I know I don’t need to say it to her. I trust her to just listen and help me work out what the hell is going on in my head.
“Of course not. This is girl talk. No boys allowed. Plus, Lilly, we both know she always takes everything to the next level way before we’re ready to go there. Although, I can never thank her enough for the push I needed to tell Zach how I really felt. Even if I was totally freaked out at the time.”
“She can be like a steamroller when she gets an idea in her head. Problem is, she already has a bit of an idea what’s going on here, but I have pleaded to her to stay out of it. How long that lasts remains to be seen.” We both grin at that thought as we know it won’t be for long.
“So, can I take a guess that this is about a guy?”
“Ugh, how did you guess? You know I’m hopeless with men, unless it’s in a work environment.” I run a hand through my hair and sweep it over my shoulder to my front. It’s almost like I want to hide behind it. I decide it’s time to just say it, so I can maybe get some advice on what to do.
“Last night at the bar we met Zara’s friends, Natalie and Xavier. Do you remember?” Her nodding prompts me to keep talking.
I continue on and catch Emily up to speed on the details of our night out. She listens intently only getting a little side-tracked when I mentioned Luke and Zoe finally getting together. I don’t blame her because that was certainly a highlight for us all. After getting to the end and feeling like part of the weight on my shoulders had been lifted, I sigh while looking at her still trying to process everything I told her.
“So how do you feel when you are around him?” she asks.
“There is some sort of connection between us that I don’t know how to describe. He was flirting with me, turni
ng every word he said into a sexy innuendo. I have no experience with that. I don’t know how to cope with it. Lordy, it turned me on, though. Made parts of me stand up and take notice of him. He did his best to try to make me laugh and relax so that we were talking a little by the end of the session. Which was amazing.” I check to make sure that Zach is still by the river and can’t hear a word I’m saying.
“So now Lilly has signed us up for more training sessions, which means I’m going to see plenty of him. Literally. I mean his arms and body in gym gear is hotter than should be allowed. Every woman in the gym was eyeing him the whole time they are there. There is no way he is going to be interested in me. I’m nothing compared to them. Hence, my dilemma! I have this weird attraction to him, but I can tell he’s bad news. Not my type. Too confident for me, and he’s a ladies’ man! There’s no way I am getting involved with a player. He even owns that by calling himself the pussy whisperer.” I slap my forehead in frustration to the position I’m in.
“Wow, now that is a really confident man to own that title. I’m surprised by it because the brief few minutes I spent with him last night I never would have picked it. He seemed lovely and was a real gentleman. I also can’t imagine, if that was the case, that a man like that would bother chasing you. Anyone can see you are quiet and shy and not what a ‘pussy whisperer’ would chase after.” She is giggling by this stage. “You do realize how ridiculous that name sounds, right? I mean, any woman who found that out would surely run the other way. Of course, that is if it’s true, or maybe it is just a stupid made-up name that has stuck. Rather than defend it, he has decided to just own it.”
