And maybe pigs would fly, she thought sarcastically. She knew better. How many women fell into that trap? How many convinced themselves that their husbands were truly sorry, that the psychological abuse or battering would never happen again? She wasn’t going to delude herself that way. She wasn’t going to wait for Will to actually slam his fist into her rather than an inanimate object.
Still she could take a drive one day, call Will from a public phone and let Billy talk to him. If she made the call far from Los Piños and kept it brief, surely he wouldn’t be able to trace it, wouldn’t be able to find them. Didn’t she owe Billy that much at least?
She glanced down and saw that her son was finally asleep, his thumb tucked securely in his mouth. She shifted him into position on his bed, then pulled a sheet up over him. He’d kick it off in no time, but at least he could start the night covered up.
She stood for a long time, gazing down at him, then bent over and pressed a kiss to his flushed cheek. “I love you, angel. More than anything.”
After she left him, she took her own bath, sinking into a sea of fragrant bubbles and trying to let her mind drift. Unfortunately, every time it did, an image of Justin Adams floated into view. Even the memory of his fingers against her cheek made her nipples hard. Recalling the exact instant when she’d known he was going to kiss her made her flesh heat. As the cooling bathwater lapped against her overheated flesh, she moaned softly.
Next time she might not be so strong. Next time she might accept the tenderness he was offering, the promise of even a few moments of gentle loving.
No. She brought herself back sharply from the provocative image. Stepping out of the tub, she toweled herself dry with rough strokes, then yanked on her robe. She didn’t dare even begin to think that way about Justin. She was still married, if only in name. She was no doubt in a heap of trouble with Will, if not with the authorities. She couldn’t drag Justin into the middle of all that.
Nor could she turn to a man to solve her problems. All her life, she had been relying on other people. First it had been her parents who’d set the rules and protected her from harm. She had left her hometown to prove that she could stand on her own two feet, only to fall in love with Will and let him take over the control of her life just as her parents had before him.
This time was going to be different. She was going to solve her own problems. She would settle this mess with Will, establish a solid, respectable future for herself and her son and then...well, then, if Justin was still interested, if the attraction hadn’t died, maybe there could be something between them. Not if she needed his protection, though. Only if she could come to him as an equal, a woman every bit as strong and capable as he was.
“You’re getting a little ahead of yourself,” she chided herself aloud. “The man tried to kiss you. He didn’t propose marriage.”
But something told her that a man as honorable as Justin Adams had proved himself to be took even his kisses seriously and that she would be very wise to remember that.
* * *
Patsy barely had the door at Dolan’s open in the morning when Justin came in. She switched on the lights and watched warily as he crossed to the counter and settled on a stool. If he brought up that almost kiss, she wasn’t sure what she was going to say to him.
“I guess the coffee’s not ready yet, is it?” he asked, his manner nothing more than friendly.
Patsy let out a sigh of relief. Apparently last night was forgotten. “I’m just about to put it on. It won’t take a minute. Can I get you something else?”
“Take your time. I know it’s not really opening time yet. I wanted to catch you alone.”
Panic, never far away, choked her. “Why?” she asked, barely managing to get the single word out.
He seemed amused by the question. “To talk.”
“About?”
“It can wait. Whenever you’re set, I’ll take eggs, bacon, toast.”
She already knew he liked his eggs over easy, his bacon crisp and his toast the same color as his coffee—or so he claimed. She’d thought he was only being polite when she accidentally burned the first batch she ever made for him, but he swore burnt toast reminded him of home. She noticed, though, that he scraped away most of the black before eating it.
She was about to turn away to start his breakfast, when he snagged her hand.
“Patsy.”
Her gaze met his, then skittered away. “Yes?”
“Maybe we should get this out of the way. I’m sorry about last night.”
“There’s nothing to be sorry for.”
“I pushed.”
“You’ve already apologized. It wasn’t necessary then. It isn’t now.”
“But—”
“Justin, please,” she pleaded. “Drop it.”
His gaze locked with hers, questioning her even without any accompanying words. She held her breath, waiting for something, an explosion maybe. Will would have gone into a rage if she’d dared to cut him off.
Finally, to her relief, Justin simply nodded.
“For now.”
It had become a refrain between them, a subtle warning that one day she would pay for all the silences. One day the questions would intensify and there would be no holding back. He would demand to know everything.
“I’ll get your breakfast,” she said, and hurried away.
By the time she’d fixed his eggs and bacon, Sharon Lynn had arrived and there were more customers. From then on Patsy was so busy she didn’t have time to take a deep breath, much less worry about Justin and his unanswered questions.
It was well after nine before she got a real break.
“Sit for a minute,” Sharon Lynn ordered. “I’ll bring you a cup of coffee.”
“You must be as beat as I am. Why should you wait on me?”
“Because you opened up this morning and Justin was right on your heels so I know perfectly well you haven’t had a spare second since.” She gave Patsy a curious look. “Everything okay between you and my cousin?”
“Of course,” Patsy said a little too quickly. “Why wouldn’t it be?”
“I just thought there might be some residual suspiciousness because of that incident when you first arrived. Justin’s like a dog with a bone when things don’t add up to him.”
Patsy’s hand stilled with the coffee halfway to her mouth. She regarded Sharon Lynn warily. “And you think things don’t add up with me?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“But you believe Justin has doubts.”
“He’s a cop. Doubts are second nature to him. It doesn’t mean I think he’s right.”
Fear streaked through her. What if Justin hadn’t let things rest, after all? What if he’d dug up something? What if he knew all about her past and was waiting for her to open up and admit the trouble she was in? What if...?
“Has he said something?” she asked cautiously.
“No, but I’ve watched him around you. One second he looks like a man who’s falling hard for a woman, the next he gets this wary expression in his eyes.”
Patsy couldn’t deny Sharon Lynn’s perception. She’d seen the same reactions all too often herself.
“I’m sorry,” Sharon Lynn said. “I shouldn’t have said anything. I didn’t mean to upset you. I don’t want you to be on your guard every time he’s around.”
“I’m not upset. I can’t blame Justin for the way he feels. I was shoplifting when he first saw me. I offered to move on, to leave Los Piños. He assured me he could forget what happened, but maybe he can’t. Maybe I should go.”
Sharon Lynn looked thunderstruck. “No, absolutely not. Where would you go?”
“I don’t know,” Patsy admitted.
“Then put that idea right out of your head. Nobody wants you to leave.”
“Leave? Who’s leaving?” J
ustin demanded, walking up behind them.
Patsy turned slowly. “I thought maybe it would be for the best if I did.”
“Well, it wouldn’t,” he said succinctly.
His sharp response hung in the air. For the longest time no one said anything.
“I’ll be in the back if anyone needs me,” Sharon Lynn said finally, but neither Justin nor Patsy spared her a glance.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to go?” she asked, searching his face.
“Yes, I’m sure. I just wish...” His voice trailed off.
“Wish what?”
“That you felt you could be honest with me.”
Patsy wished that, too, more than she could say. She knew, too, that he could get most of the answers he craved just by running her license tag number. Obviously he hadn’t, or he’d want to know why she’d lied about her name being Gresham, not Longhorn. Either he was waiting for her to come to him with the truth on her own or he was afraid of it.
“I can’t,” she said simply. “I wish I could, but I can’t.”
“Will you tell me one thing?”
“If I can.”
“Have you broken any laws?”
“No,” she said honestly. Not unless Will had manufactured a crime out of her leaving with their son.
Relief washed some of the tension out of his expression. “Then we’ll leave it at that.”
She grinned. “For now.”
He chuckled at her repetition of his favorite warning. “Who knows? Maybe I’ll just drop it for good. Maybe I’ll just take it on faith that you’ll tell me the whole story when you feel you can.”
Patsy regarded him skeptically. “Can you do that?”
He started to answer, then sighed. “Probably not,” he admitted regretfully.
“That’s what makes you a good cop, Deputy.”
“Maybe it doesn’t make me such a terrific man. I ought to trust you. I want to.”
“I’ve given you plenty of cause not to.”
He lifted his hand, hesitated, then, looking as if he wanted to do so much more, he gently grazed her cheek with his knuckles. “You know what I wish more than anything?”
Dazed by the look of pure longing in his eyes, Patsy shook her head.
“I wish that I knew whether I had any right at all to kiss you.”
She shuddered with a longing that was equal to his, then finally looked away.
Justin sighed. “That pretty much answers my question, doesn’t it?”
With her eyes squeezed tightly shut to keep the tears from falling, she said softly, “Yes, I suppose it does.”
It was only a tiny hint at the whole truth, but it was enough to put a bleak expression on Justin’s face and send him striding out of Dolan’s without a backward glance.
It was also more than enough to break Patsy’s heart in two.
Chapter Seven
With Justin gone, Patsy was left all alone to battle tears and guilt and shame. How could she go on deceiving a man who had been nothing but kind to her, a man who’d already put aside his own convictions about right and wrong to give her a break? She was still wrestling with that when Sharon Lynn came out of the back.
Patsy hastily wiped her eyes and forced a smile. She didn’t want this compassionate woman to be caught in the middle. It was too soon to test the strength of their friendship, especially when Justin was part of her family. She knew enough about the Adamses by now to know that they were bound tight by love and loyalty.
“Everything okay?” Sharon Lynn asked, concern etched on her face.
“Fine.”
“You don’t look fine. You look as if you’ve been crying.” Her expression turned indignant. “If that cousin of mine has done anything to upset you, I’ll tear him limb from limb.”
The fierce promise startled Patsy, then left her chuckling. “Don’t you think it would be a bit of a mismatch?” she asked.
“Hey, I grew up playing with him and my brother. I’m as tough as they are. I had to be.” Sharon Lynn winked. “I’m also a better shot.”
Patsy shuddered at the teasing suggestion. “Please, you don’t need to prove it on my account. I don’t think there will be any need to resort to guns. Justin didn’t deliberately upset me. I’m the one responsible for him taking off in such a foul humor. It was all my fault.”
She deliberately pushed her own concerns over Justin aside. Now seemed like a really good time to change the subject and focus on that night’s surprise bridal shower before Sharon Lynn wanted to know exactly what she’d done that was so terrible.
“Don’t forget we’re having dinner tonight,” she reminded Sharon Lynn.
For a moment Sharon Lynn seemed startled by the abrupt shift in topic. “Patsy, don’t you want to talk about what just happened here?”
“No,” she said honestly. “I’d rather think about the pleasant evening we’re going to have. It’s been a long time since I’ve invited company over. You haven’t forgotten, have you?”
“No, of course not, but there’s no reason you should cook after standing in front of the grill here all day. Why don’t we go out?” she suggested. “We can let somebody else cook for both of us for a change.”
Patsy thought of all the people who’d be waiting in her living room and almost panicked. “Absolutely not,” she said hurriedly and began improvising. “I already have everything ready. It won’t take a minute to get dinner on the table.”
“But you must not get a chance to go out with friends very often because of Billy. Since he’ll be with Justin, it would be the perfect time to get out and kick up your heels a little.”
“Believe me, the last thing I want to do is kick up my heels,” she said with heartfelt sincerity.
Patsy studied her intently, then nodded. “If you’re sure...”
“I am.”
The rest of the afternoon was so busy the only words they had time to exchange were about orders. By the time they closed up, both of them were dead on their feet. Even so, Patsy couldn’t help feeling excited as she and Sharon Lynn headed for her place and the waiting bridal shower. She was grateful she’d been asked to play even a minor role in the surprise. It made her feel as if she belonged, as if she had a contribution to make, something she hadn’t felt in a very long time.
When they reached the house, she was taken aback by its deserted look. Not even Dani’s car was in the driveway, and there were no extra cars parked along the block. Where was everyone? Had she gotten it wrong, after all? If she had, the big surprise for Sharon Lynn was going to be the fact that there was no dinner waiting in the fridge.
Taking it on faith that there was a surprise party waiting inside, she unlocked the door, then led the way into the living room. It wasn’t dark yet, but the room was filled with shadows. Just as she was about to reach for a light switch, someone else turned on the overhead light and the room erupted with noise. People burst in from the clinic, where they’d obviously been hiding. All the shouts of “Surprise!” set off the animals. The dogs began howling and the cats scurried for cover.
In the midst of the chaos, Sharon Lynn stared around at all of her friends and family, then burst into tears.
“Oh, dear,” Patsy murmured, stunned by the reaction. She put an arm around her. “What’s wrong? Please, don’t cry.”
Sharon Lynn waved off the sympathy. “I’m okay. It’s just...”
“It’s just that she’s never gotten this far before,” Jenny said, coming over to envelop her in a hug. “It’s only a little over a week and counting to the big day.”
Sharon Lynn mopped at her eyes. “I’m actually beginning to believe it’s going to happen this time.” She turned to Patsy and said with mock severity, “As for you, you are a very sneaky lady. I had no idea what you were up to. No wonder you turned down my offer to go out for dinner.”
>
“Thank goodness you didn’t insist on it. I’m not sure what I would have come up with to get you over here. As for the rest, I didn’t really do anything,” Patsy said. “Jenny and Dani did all the planning and the work. I was just brought in at the last second to deliver you. I still think I ought to get Billy and go out to eat, while you all celebrate.”
“Absolutely not,” Dani said, joining them. “Besides, Justin already has Billy. The boy has my brother wound around his little finger. I believe they were going to stop at the toy store on the way to dinner. Justin saw a remote control police car in there he wanted to check out.”
“Oh, dear,” Patsy murmured. “Maybe I should—”
“You should relax and enjoy yourself,” Jenny told her. “Let Justin spend a little of his money for a change. It’ll do him good to hang out in a toy store. Maybe he’ll rediscover the kid inside. He’s not even thirty and already he’s turned into a straitlaced old man.”
“You’ve got that right,” Sharon Lynn said. “When I think of how much mischief he and Harlan Patrick used to get into, it’s hard to believe it’s the same person.”
“Come on, ladies,” an older woman with the same dark hair as Jenny said. “I’m starving and you know your grandfather will start worrying if I’m out too late. Next thing you know he’ll use it as an excuse to come looking for me. As it is, he’s very put out that he wasn’t invited to the shower. Just give him the slightest excuse and he’ll race into town.”
“Maybe it would be worth it,” Dani said with a wicked twinkle in her eyes. “I can just see Grandpa Harlan’s expression when Sharon Lynn starts opening packages filled with slinky lingerie.”
“If Mom’s half the woman I know she is, it won’t be anything he hasn’t seen before,” Jenny teased, bringing a blush to the older woman’s cheeks.
“Patsy, have you met Janet yet?” Dani asked. “She’s married to Grandpa Harlan and she claims to give him a run for his money, but as you just heard, the man has the original feminist in the family on a short leash.”
Janet winked. “I just let him think that. Now that I’ve closed my law practice, I do my level best to drive him crazy. It’s the only thing I have to look forward to.”
Wildflower Ridge Page 8
