Lowering his hands from his face, he looked at his wrist. The one I’d been holding.
“You were talking to me …” he muttered hoarsely.
“I—” Panic rushed through me, and I blurted without thinking, “I was telling you to calm down. You were having a nightmare—”
“You were talking to him.”
My voice died.
His eyes regained focus. “He was—he was talking—but I was—wasn’t I sleeping?” He sucked in a lungful of air and expelled it in a rush. “I was sleeping and he was—and you were—”
Shit, shit, shit. The decision about when to tell him the truth was no longer up for debate. “Ezra, I need to—”
“What happened? Was Eterran in control? What—” His frantic questions cut off. Mismatched eyes swept across my face. “Why are you so calm?”
I reached for his arm. “I can explain. Just—”
“Explain?” He jerked away from my hand. “Didn’t Eterran just take control while I was sleeping? How could you possibly explain that? How …” He broke off, his face losing what little color remained. “Wait. No. No.”
He flung the blankets aside and rolled off the bed. As his feet hit the floor, he clamped his hands to the sides of his head. “My insomnia in December. It’s not—he wasn’t—was it him?”
Panic bled into his voice, and my anxiety ratcheted in response. Ezra’s usual levelheadedness was rapidly losing out to the realization that one of his worst nightmares had come true.
He whirled on me. “What do you know?”
I slid to the edge of the bed and swung my feet down to the floor. “Ezra, please calm down. It’s okay. Let me explain.”
“My demon controlled me in my sleep! How is that okay?”
“I’ll explain it,” I replied, keeping my tone even despite the fear clogging my lungs. “Please, Ezra. Just sit down and let me talk.”
His chest heaved as he fought to bring his emotions under control, and I shivered from the tension gripping me. Too dangerous. This was way too dangerous for him. The lethal feedback loop of emotion that had almost destroyed him a few days ago was too close.
I held my hands out, imploring, “Please, Ezra.”
He stared at me. “You said I was having a nightmare. You lied to me.”
“I—I didn’t want to freak you out the second you woke up.”
“Eterran was talking to you.” His voice rose. “What did he say to you?”
“Ezra, please just—”
“What did he say to you?”
This time, he shouted the question, and I recoiled, clenching fistfuls of blankets.
Footsteps thudded up the stairs. Aaron whipped the bedroom door open. “What’s wr—”
“Tell me, Tori!” Ezra yelled.
“Ezra!” Aaron barked, aghast. “What’s—”
“This wasn’t the first time, was it?” Ezra snarled. “You’re too calm. How long, Tori?”
Aaron took an angry step into the room. “Ezra—”
“How long have you been talking to my demon?”
I cringed back. Aaron’s mouth hung open, and his disbelieving stare jerked to me.
I had to swallow before I could speak. “Since we went to the Sinclair Academy, but it’s not what you think. It was—”
Ezra stepped sharply back, bumping into Aaron. “The werewolf attack. I couldn’t remember what happened.”
“All that destruction at the alchemist’s house,” Aaron muttered, his attention darting between me and Ezra. “That was his demon?”
“Yes, but guys, please listen. Eterran helped me because—”
“Helped you?” Aaron interrupted, anger igniting through his disbelief. “You mean the demon that’s almost killed me and Kai several times each—”
I shoved to my feet. “Yes, that demon! And if you’d both shut up for half a minute, I could explain why I didn’t tell you!”
Aaron raked his hands through his hair. “I’m listening.”
I looked at Ezra, but he was backing away, his shoulders moving with short breaths. His stare had lost focus and he was gripping his hair again, knuckles white. The room was far colder than it should’ve been.
Aaron put a hand on Ezra’s arm. “Come on, man. Breathe. Whatever’s going on, we’ll figure it out.”
Ezra sucked in air. Slowly, his hands unclenched and he lowered his arms.
Keeping a grip on Ezra’s shoulder, Aaron looked at me, his anger banked but not gone. “Spill it, Tori.”
I folded my arms. This was not how I’d wanted to have this conversation. “You two remember the demonic amulet, right? The one I used to free Burke’s demon?”
“Yeah,” Aaron said shortly. “The demon disappeared with it.”
“No. I kept it.”
His eyes widened.
“Eterran knows I have it. He figured out how to stay awake while Ezra is sleeping, and when we were staying at the academy together, Eterran paid me a visit one night. He wants the amulet to break his contract with you, Ezra. He thinks it will free both of you, but—”
“Wait.” Aaron stared at me. “Eterran can act independently when Ezra is sleeping? And you knew this? And you didn’t tell us?”
I gripped the sides of my shirt, arms still crossed. “If I’d told you, you might’ve decided Ezra had to die immediately and—”
“You didn’t tell us Ezra’s demon could freely walk around at night while we were all asleep? In my home? With my parents? He could’ve killed them!”
“But he didn’t want to kill anyone! He wanted the amulet, and I wasn’t going to help him if he—”
“Help him?” Ezra whispered.
I glanced at his frozen stare, my heart constricting, then looked back to Aaron. “I made Eterran agree to stop controlling Ezra at night while I figured out the amulet. There’s a chance it could—”
Ezra turned away from me, pulling his shoulder from Aaron’s hand. He was breathing hard again, fighting for control. He pressed both hands to the wall, head bowed.
I watched the white puff of his breath for several seconds before realizing how much the temperature had dropped. Frost crept across the windowpanes.
“Tori …” His quiet voice shook. “Get out of my room.”
My body went colder than the icy air. “Ezra—”
“Get out.”
“Let me explain—”
“Explain!” The word burst from him in a shout. His hands balled into fists, knuckles grinding against the wall. “Explain how you let me walk around for weeks knowing that any night, Eterran could take over? You let me sleep in the same house as the only people I love! He could’ve killed you or Aaron or Kai at any time!”
“Eterran wasn’t going to hurt anyone. I made him promise—”
“You have no idea!” He whirled around to face me, his shoulders hitting the wall and his face contorted. “Do you know why he’s tried to kill Aaron and Kai so many times? To hurt me! To punish me for being his prison! He enjoys making me suffer!”
I stepped back, my legs bumping the bed. “Eterran wants—”
“I know what he wants, and I know how manipulative he is, and you have no idea! He could’ve turned on you at any time!” A crackle of red power sizzled up his arms. “I promised myself I wouldn’t put any of you in danger. I can’t live with that, don’t you get it?”
My heart hammered in my ears, as loud as his rising voice.
His hands balled into white-knuckled fists. “It’s already hard enough when one slip of my control could mean your death! And now it turns out Eterran’s capable of this? For weeks? You knew about it and you didn’t say a word to—”
“I didn’t tell you so I’d have a chance to save you, Ezra!” I cried, eyes stinging. “There’s a chance—”
“There’s no chance!”
“Why are you so determined to die?” I screamed, terror and pain and panic spilling into my voice. “Why won’t you fight for yourself the way you fight for your friends? Don’t you realiz
e how much we love you?”
“Of course I do!” he shouted back. “But not every fight can be won! Not every problem has a magic solution, and you should know that by now—but the only thing you’ve learned about being a mythic is keeping secrets and telling lies!”
“I was trying to protect you!”
“I’ve been trying to protect all of you! Three days ago, I almost killed you! It’s only luck that you had the one magical item that could stop me!”
“Then maybe all we need to save you is a bit more luck, but you won’t even try—”
“Saving me shouldn’t mean endangering you!” His hands clenched so hard muscles rippled up his arms and across his chest. “I have to listen to Eterran’s bitterness and hate every single day, and the only thing I have to balance that is you and Aaron and Kai. Without you three, it’s not worth it!”
My hands had formed into tight fists too. “Your life is worth—”
“Nothing!” he roared. “I don’t have a future, but you three do!”
I reeled back, bumped into the bed, then set my feet so I wouldn’t retreat.
He bared his teeth furiously. “Protecting the three of you is the most important thing to me—and you went behind my back to give my worst enemy the chance to hurt you!”
“I took a calculated risk. To save you. And you can tell yourself all day long that your life is worthless, but as long as your friends love you, that’s just a bullshit excuse!”
He recoiled.
“You can make all the excuses you want, but I’m not afraid to fight this battle. Neither is Eterran, and if that means I have to get his help instead of yours, that’s on you!”
His eyes widened—and crimson veins streaked up his wrists. A spasm wrenched his limbs, and he whirled with blinding speed, his fist swinging for the wall.
He pulled back at the last second, and his knuckles hit the drywall with a dull bang instead of smashing right through. He panted as he fought for control. The temperature dropped until the air burned my face.
“Tori, go.”
I started, my frightened stare jumping to Aaron.
“You’ve said enough.” He took a cautious step closer to Ezra. “Go and wait for me at the car. Now.”
I staggered backward, then spun on my heel. As I sped out the door, Aaron put his hands on Ezra’s shoulders, murmuring quietly, talking his friend down from the spiral of emotion dragging him deeper and deeper toward madness.
I hardly saw the stairs, the empty living room with Aaron’s movie still playing, the kitchen where I’d once cooked a casserole for the guys before blurting out something stupid that had sent Ezra running into the arms of his enemies.
The winter chill hit me as I slammed through the back door. I ran the length of the yard, hauled the gate open, and stumbled to a stop on the gravel pad at the back, where Aaron’s gray SUV was parked. Kai’s motorcycle was tucked in the corner with a black cover over it.
My breath caught in my chest, hitching with each gasp. I stumbled to the fence, slumped back into it, and slid to the ground. As my butt hit the uneven gravel, the tears finally fell.
He will not allow his family to die because of him—not again.
The one thing Ezra couldn’t bear was endangering his friends, and I’d let it happen. But if I’d told anyone, they might’ve killed Ezra. What was I supposed to have done? Doubts whirled around and around in my head, and fear circled my heart, ripping at it with every pass. Uncertainty and hurt battered me, unrelenting, and I regretted every word I’d shouted at Ezra. What was wrong with me? Why had I done that? Why hadn’t I kept my cool?
Minutes dragged by while I shivered in the cold, my face buried in my folded arms. The rumble of an approaching vehicle brought my head up, and I squinted as bright headlights hit me. A sleek black SUV pulled into the gap beside Aaron’s vehicle.
The engine cut off, but the headlights continued to blind me as the driver’s door opened. Footfalls crunched on the gravel as a man walked toward me. When he cut across the lights, I got a proper look—and terror seized my chest.
“Darius!” I jumped up, stumbling with stiffness, and realized I was shivering violently. “What are you doing here?”
The GM glanced at the house, his face grim. “Aaron called me.”
I grabbed the front of his leather jacket, pushing into him so he couldn’t advance. “You promised! You promised to wait!”
“I’m not here for that, Tori.”
I hesitated but didn’t release him. “Then why did you come?”
“Aaron said the two of you need to leave immediately, and Ezra shouldn’t be left alone.” Gray eyes searched my face. “What happened?”
My fingers shook. I tightened my grip on his coat to stifle their trembling. “Ezra found out … about his demon and … all the stuff I was hiding from him.”
He sighed. “That was inevitable, wasn’t it?”
“But it happened all wrong,” I whispered. “I think he hates me.”
“You went against everything important to him,” Darius said bluntly.
I cringed as my heart split down the middle.
“But would you rather he die loving you, or live hating you? You made this decision already, Tori.”
My lungs struggled for breath and I gasped in the chilly air. “Y-yes.”
He put his hands on my shoulders. “You and Aaron have a job to do. Make it worth it.”
A flitter of memory scraped me. Was it worth it, Zak?
I shuddered. Zak had betrayed me and my friends for his own ambitions. I was trying to save Ezra’s life—and save Aaron’s and Kai’s happiness, which Ezra’s death would destroy.
Closing my eyes, I pulled the shredded vestiges of my determination around me. Eyes opening, I released the GM’s jacket. “Please take care of Ezra while we’re gone.”
“I will.” Passing me, he pulled the gate open. “But Tori … I think you’ll find that Ezra, who’s survived more than he’ll ever tell us, doesn’t need protection. All he needs is a reason to fight.”
Arms wrapped around myself and teeth chattering, I watched Darius cross the small yard and let himself in through the back door.
A reason to fight.
The amulet. The summoner’s grimoire. I would find answers—and give Ezra the reason, and the hope, he needed.
Chapter Six
“All right, Tori.”
I stared out the windshield at the dark pavement flashing past beneath the SUV’s headlights. Everything was black, the trees on either side of the highway barely discernible against the night sky.
“Give me the whole story,” Aaron ordered. “From the beginning.”
Drawing in a deep breath, I collected my thoughts. This time, I told him the sequence of events in order, explaining each decision I’d made. How I’d made a deal with Eterran to buy time. How the demon had proved himself semi-trustworthy when he’d helped kill the shifters instead of slaughtering everyone—including me—and escaping. How Eterran had pulled Ezra back from their shared mental collapse at Varvara’s hands.
“We talked the night after,” I revealed. “We discussed the amulet and what I’d learned about demon summoning, and whether it was feasible to unmake a demon mage.”
“You discussed it …” Aaron muttered, gripping the steering wheel with both hands. “Eterran has taken control several times in front of me and he’s never spoken. He’s just tried to kill us.”
“He wants out of Ezra’s body. He thinks there’s a chance we can do it … and I think so too. He told me about the Enright summoner who turned Ezra, and that the summoner’s grimoire might still be there.”
“That’s why we’re going to Enright?”
“My plan had been to tell Ezra everything—in a calm discussion, not a shouting match. He would’ve come too, and Eterran would’ve helped us find the grimoire.”
Eyes on the road, Aaron exhaled slowly. “Do you know what happened in Enright?”
“Some of it.”
; “Ezra’s last memory of that place is discovering everyone he ever knew had been massacred. I don’t think he should ever set foot there again.”
My body chilled. “You think it would be too much for him?”
“In his current state, yes.” Aaron breathed out again, and the air trembled from his lungs. “Ezra’s in bad shape, Tori. If something doesn’t change soon, we’re going to lose him before we can save him.”
“That’s why I did this. All of this.”
He nodded. “If we find the summoner’s grimoire, what then?”
“We use it to find out how Ezra was turned into a demon mage. If we know the details of the contract magic—if there is any—we’ll have a better idea of whether the amulet will work to break it.”
“And if the amulet won’t work?”
“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it,” I muttered.
The vehicle rumbled along the highway, the pavement empty of other vehicles. I stared into the darkness, steeling myself against the heartache building in my chest. Ezra would understand. He would forgive me.
And if he didn’t, at least he would be alive.
“While I’m spilling secrets,” I said abruptly, “there’s something else you should know.”
Aaron’s blue eyes darted toward me, his face lit by the dashboard’s glowing display.
“I’m in love with Ezra. We kissed under the mistletoe at Christmas. We’ve made out a few times.”
Silence.
I couldn’t make myself look at Aaron, my gaze fixed on the road ahead. “I didn’t realize I had feelings for him until months after you and I broke up. Ezra and I aren’t dating or sleeping together. I should’ve told you sooner, but I didn’t know if this thing between me and Ezra was even going anywhere.”
Aaron said nothing for a long, torturous minute, then sighed heavily. “Hell, Tori. You don’t have much faith in me, do you?”
I shrank in my seat.
“Did you think I would forbid you from seeing Ezra like a possessive boyfriend? I love you both. Why would I want either of you to be unhappy?”
I shrank a little more, feeling about two inches tall. “I’m sorry.”
Lost Talismans and a Tequila (The Guild Codex: Spellbound Book 7) Page 5
