Ed lay back, resting his head against her. He tried to ignore the pleasure it gave him just being near her, which only made him tenser.
“Would you relax?” She placed her hands on the sides of his head.
I would if you didn’t smell so damn enticing, he thought, hoping she didn’t hear that.
Ed squeezed his eyes shut and tried to think of anything but her.
Ann chanted words of power and the spell suddenly dragged them both in. Mist clouded the stones around them.
“We’re not on Trin.” He observed the landscape inside his mind as he sat up.
“This is a safe place, too. Let’s begin. Go back to the time before Trin; where are you?”
The stones around him blurred away until he stood surrounded by trees so tall, they seemed to reach the horizon. These were unlike anything he’d seen in Caselhelm, or even a couple of the other lands he visited. They were skinny with dark blue trunks and blue leaves. The air smelled sweet.
“I know this place,” he said more to himself than her. “They feel so familiar, yet I don’t remember ever being here.” Ed reached out, felt the rugged bark. He ran, the trees blurring past him, yet all he saw were more trees. “Why aren’t I seeing anything else?”
“Maybe you’re trying too hard.” Ann’s presence felt comforting at the edge of his mind. “Let the memories come, don’t try to force them.”
The forest blurred until he found himself running as a boy. Something chased him, he could feel it. Light flashed, along with a snarl and a heavy breath on his neck, yet he saw nothing.
Ed knew he had to keep running. He stumbled, his feet ripped bloody from wearing no shoes. Rocks dug into the soles of his feet, but he didn’t care. He had to flee.
But why? Ed wondered. Why am I fleeing? What’s chasing me?
The images around him flickered. “You are trying too hard,” she warned. “These things have been locked away deep inside you for a long time. You can’t force your mind to reveal them all at once.”
Why not? I need to know more about this beast. The trees came back into focus and he ran to the edge of the river. Its purple waves churned and hissed.
“You can’t run from me, boy,” the voice came again. “You’ll never escape me.”
Ed backed away, his heart hammering in his ears. He turned and jumped, letting the heavy current drag him away. Hours seemed to pass as he floated away.
“Enough.” Ed pulled back, finding himself back among the standing stones. Mist floated around them, cool and damp against his skin. “Try again.” He glanced up at Ann.
“You can’t force the memories, remember?” she said. “It could—”
“Just do it. Please.”
Ann sighed. “Is stubbornness a lykae trait?” she muttered, resting her hands on the sides of his head again.
He chuckled. “I must’ve learnt it from you.”
Ann said the incantation again.
Ed reappeared inside the forest. This time surrounded by green trees. The air smelled of fresh grass and pine cones.
Darius stalked through the trees, glancing behind him several times, as if he were afraid of being followed.
“This doesn’t feel like a forgotten memory,” Ed remarked.
Ann appeared beside him. “I know this isn’t your memory,” she replied. “I think it’s mine. I remember this.”
“Why would I be witnessing your memory?”
She shook her head. “I have no idea. Let’s see what happens.”
Darius did another scan then muttered words of power.
“He’s checking to see if anyone followed him,” Ann said. “I was hidden behind the trees. He didn’t sense me.”
Darius raised his hand and a glowing doorway appeared. It creaked open and Darius vanished inside.
“Where did he go?” Ed asked.
“I don’t know, but that’s it. That’s how I know the vault exists.” She clapped her hands.
Ed opened his eyes and found himself back among the standing stones. He sat up, missing the feel of their closeness. Being with her inside his mind calmed the beast. More than that, the beast seemed content, even inside the cage of his mind.
Ann raised her hands and closed her eyes. Nothing happened. “Damn it, why won’t the door appear?”
“It will when it’s meant to.” He took her hand and squeezed it.
“Sorry I dragged you into my memories. I know how much you want answers.”
He sat up and brushed her hair off her face. “What are friends for? I’ll share my memories with you, feel free to share whatever you want with me.”
She gave a harsh laugh. “Trust me, there are things in my past you’d never want to see.”
I share everything with you, he thought.
The word ‘friends’ tasted bitter on his tongue. She wasn’t just a friend. The connection between them went way beyond that.
But you can never let her know that.
Chapter 11
Ed walked outside his cabin the next morning. The first splinters of dawn had just appeared over the horizon.
“Good, you’re up,” Jax said from behind him. “Time for training to begin.”
Ed gaped. “What training?” He ran a hand through his long hair, which was still damp from where he’d bathed.
“Think we’ll call it beast training. Let’s go, brother.” Jax slung an arm around his shoulders and led a bemused Ed out to an open area.
Ann already stood there, waiting for them.
“What’s going on?” Ed asked her.
“We figured you need practice with your beast side,” Jax answered. “So we’re going to test you and see what your beast is really capable of.”
“We figured you’d say no, so we decided to just do it,” Ann explained.
Ed glanced between them. “Er…you’d be right.” He shook his head. “You’re both mad. I’m not doing this.” He couldn’t believe they’d even suggest such a thing. Were they insane?
“Ed, you want to control this, don’t you?” Ann put her hands on her hips. “The best way to do that is practice.”
“Yeah, summon the beast and see what triggers it,” Jax agreed. “It took me hundreds of attempts to control both my shifting and my stone strength.”
“We’ve conspired together for months now. Time we had some fun.” Ann grinned.
Ed shook his head again. “This is stupid. Foolhardy, even. I might kill both of you.”
“I can’t die. Plus your beast seems more protective toward me than anyone else.”
“Come on, brother. What do you have to lose?” Jax asked.
“Your lives, for one.” His jaw tightened. “No, we’re not doing this.” He turned to leave.
Ann orbed in front of him in a flash of light. “I can make it an order if I have to.”
His lips curved. “You wouldn’t.”
She arched a brow. “Wouldn’t I? You know better than to challenge me, you big lug.”
“I’ll go first,” Jax said, pulling out his sword. “We’ll practice with blades, since you keep carrying yours around even though you don’t need it anymore.”
Ed’s eyes widened when he recognised Jax’s sword as the one he’d used back during their days in the Black.
Ed pulled out his own sword, the metal hissing as it came out of its sheath. “How is a sword gonna help control my beast?”
“Maybe it will remind you you haven’t lost yourself.” Jax lunged at him.
Ed blocked him, parrying with his own blade. The sword felt like an extra limb, a familiar weight in his hand.
He moved, parrying each of Jax’s lunges and blows. His feet moved in a familiar dance. Back during his time in the Black, he’d been one of the best swordsmen in the Guard. It came to him as easily as breathing.
“See, your usual nonsense.” Jax grinned. “You’re anticipating my moves and you’re in control.”
“I had to anticipate someone’s moves long before I became a beast,” Ed said. He beca
me aware of someone behind him. Ceara, judging by her scent. He raised his arm, blocking her as she made a grab for him. Then he spun, catching her by the throat.
“See, you’re not powerless,” she choked out. “You…can let go now.”
Ed’s eyes flashed from gold to emerald. The beast clawed at the cage of his mind. It wanted out.
“Ed,” Jax said. “Let her go. We asked her to sneak up on you. It’s important to see how your beast reacts to certain situations.”
A familiar rage began to heat his blood.
“Edward,” Ann rushed over and touched his arm. “Let her go.”
At once, the beast settled, and Ed released his grip. Ceara backed away, rubbing her throat. She gasped and took several rasping breaths.
“Okay, next time try something harder,” Jax suggested.
Ed grunted in response. The joy he’d felt soon faded. “I don’t think this is a good idea,” he said to Ann.
“Nonsense, you’re doing great.” She flashed him a smile.
You don’t understand. I almost lost control again, he hissed.
“But you didn’t.” Ann patted his shoulder then moved away.
“Stop talking to Ann in thought,” Ceara chided. “We’re your family. You can say whatever you need to around us.”
Ed scoffed. “You’re not—”
“We need to test how your beast reacts to magic,” Jax said. “Gliss, you’re up first.”
“Gliss magic doesn’t work on me,” Ed pointed out. He felt weary of these tests already.
Ceara’s lips twisted into a smile as she raised her hand. Light pulsed between her brows.
“This isn’t a good idea.” Ed glanced over as Jax backed away to join Ann. “You’ve seen how I react to Ceara.”
“You learnt to control your emotions as one of the Black. You can do it again.” Jax leaned back against the fence.
Ed looked to Ann, heart pounding in his ears.
She just nodded.
What if I hurt her? he said, giving Ann a pleading look.
Just try.
“Come on, wolfy. You know you’re angry. Here’s your chance to take it out on me.” Ceara’s grin widened.
The beast came to the surface again, eager and desperate to be free, like a rabid dog scraping the bars of a cage.
“Let it out. Don’t resist it. The more you fight, the harder it is to rein in.”
Ed scowled at her and let out a low growl. “You’d know, wouldn’t you? You’re the one who forced me turn into this thing.” His fists clenched, his claws digging into his palms.
Fuck, he didn’t want to give into this. Ed only let the beast out when he had to. Not voluntarily.
“Come on, wolfy. Still resisting,” Ceara goaded. “What are you so afraid of? Me or yourself?”
Ed snarled, fangs bared. Blood pounded in his ears.
“That’s better.” Ceara beamed. “See, changing is easy once you learn to accept it.”
I’ll never accept you, he thought. Traitor.
Ed danced around Ceara, watching her every move as light pulsed through her forehead. Come on, what are you waiting for? Give me a chance to rip you apart.
An image flashed through his mind of him comforting Ceara the day Xander discovered her affair with Urien. He’d consoled her and tried to tell her she had to choose. Ceara had chosen wrong. She picked Urien and betrayed them all.
Other feelings washed over him, regret, sadness. He snarled, fighting off the feelings. Is this your way of trying to convince me to trust you? Because it won’t work. Ed lunged at her.
Ceara’s hand shot up, invisible waves of energy pulsing from her outstretched palm.
Ed grunted as the waves hit him like an oncoming storm. Anyone else would have been paralysed by the oncoming torrent of emotions being thrown at him. Ed brushed it off, making a grab for Ceara.
Ceara kept her hand raised, the flood of power still washing over him.
You really want to kill me, Ed? Ceara asked. You were right. I made the wrong choice. You’ll never know how sorry I am for that. I’ve changed.
Ed drew back as Ceara lowered her hand. “No, I don’t,” he hissed. “But it’ll take more than that to gain my trust again.”
“What just happened?” Jax asked as Ceara turned and walked away. “Hey, Gliss, I thought you were helping?”
“She did.” Ed sighed and leant back against the fence. “Are we done yet?”
“No, you aren’t done with me and Ann yet. Our little sister was just a test run. Attack me.”
Ed gaped at his brother. “Are you out of your feathered mind?”
“No, I’ve been wanting to see if you are stronger than me for months now. Time to test it.” Light flashed over Jax’s hand as he punched Ed in the face.
It felt like being hit by a hammer. Ed’s head reeled back. He saw stars, and pain exploded inside his jaw. “Argh, what the fuck was that for?” He closed his mouth as blood dripped down his face. “What did you do that for?” The beast growled, and his eyes flashed.
It didn’t help seeing the smug look on Jax’s face. He grinned. “No reason. Now, what are you going to do about it?”
Ed blurred and lunged at Jax, who sidestepped him. This time rage heated his blood once more as the beast rose to the surface once again.
“Come on, brother. Attack me,” Jax goaded. “Even the Gliss could put up a better fight than you.”
“You’re bloody mad,” Ed growled.
Jax threw a punch. Ed caught hold of Jax’s fist before the blow had a chance to connect.
Jax swung into a kick. Each and every time he tried Ed anticipated and blocked Jax’s moves. “Not bad, brother. Up for some tracking now?”
Ed winced as he forced the beast back inside. A wave of fatigue washed over him. His teeth, fingers and head throbbed. “No, I’d say that was enough. I’m done.”
“Come on. We went through way more intensive training than that when we trained for the Black.”
“No, I’m—” He turned to look at Ann, to ask what else she had planned.
Ceara crept up behind her, a shock rod in her hand. She jabbed it into Ann’s throat, making her cry out in pain.
Red flashed before Ed’s vision as the beast burst out. He didn’t even think; he moved fast. His claws and fangs came out as he blurred. Ed tore Ceara away from Ann so fast the Gliss dropped the rod before she had time to react.
Rage heated his blood, hot and fast. It beat at the air around him. He didn’t want to kill this time; that wouldn’t be enough. He wanted blood. His fangs ached to sink into Ceara’s flesh. To rip her apart limb from limb.
Stop… Ed thought, but he couldn’t form the words to produce a coherent sentence. The beast had full control of his body now. Ed was just an onlooker.
“Ed, stop.” Ann scrambled up. “Let go of her.”
Jax ran over to them. “Ed, this was my idea. I wanted to see if Ann being danger—”
Ed didn’t listen. He gripped Ceara, lifting her off her feet like a ragdoll.
“Ed, put her down,” Ann said.
“Ed.” Jax gripped his arm. “It was a test. Ceara didn’t —”
Ed used his other hand to punch Jax. His fist felt like it slammed into a brick wall, but the pain didn’t bother him. He didn’t even flinch.
“Edward, stop.” Ann threw up her hands. A blast of magic hit him hard and fast, impacting the air around him. Ed staggered, and Ceara flew through the air. She landed a few feet away, gasping for breath.
Ed lunged for her again. This woman, this traitor, deserved to die. The beast didn’t care about logical reason.
Jax stepped in front of him, his skin flaring with energy.
Ed thrashed against him. “Move,” he growled in a low guttural voice.
“Edward.” Ann gripped his arm. “Stop. Change back. Right now.”
He raised his hand, but the beast stopped. No, he couldn’t hurt her. He wouldn’t.
The beast retreated once more.
&
nbsp; Jax gasped as his magic faded. “Phew, you had me worried for a minute there,” he breathed. “But it proves my point. You always change when Ann’s close.” He turned to Ann. “You must somehow calm him.”
Ed turned and blurred away. His mind raced as trees rushed past him. He didn’t have a destination in mind, just needed to get away.
Orbs of blue light flashed as Ann appeared in front of him. He skidded, trying to stop mid-blur. Instead, he collided with her, knocking them both to the ground.
“Ow.” Ann groaned as his body slammed into hers.
“Sorry—what are you doing?”
“I felt your pain, so I came to see if you were alright.”
He sighed. “No, I’m not.”
“You aren’t accepting the beast and changing.”
“No, it’s not that.” Ed shook his head. “It’s when I lose control. Rage takes over. I…I lose myself.” He rolled away from her, lying back on the ground next to her. “Something else takes hold, and it’s unnatural. Like fire in my veins.”
“Why do you lose control when I’m in danger? You stayed focused with Jax, and even Ceara. What is so different with me?” Ann asked.
Ed looked away, heart twisting. “It’s different with you,” he murmured, more to himself than her.
“Why?” she asked again. “Is because your beast is so damn protective of me?”
“I’m not that protective…at least I never used to be.” He sighed again. “I don’t know why.”
“Jax says it’s because you love me.”
Ed sat up and gaped at her. “What?” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I mean yeah…of course I do but—” Spirits, why did he get so tongue-tied around her? Why couldn’t he admit his feelings?
“We’ve been best friends for a long time. You know I care about you more than anyone else. I suppose it’s natural.”
“Right, and I feel the same.”
He considered blurring away.
“Well, today was a good start. Told you could control it.” She gave him a quick hug.
Ed held her close, enjoying the warmth of her body. If he could have stayed there in her arms, he doubted the strange rage would ever bother him again.
Ed scanned the village. He caught the scent of different druids. Jax, with his familiar smell of evergreen. Ann’s rose scent and another—Jerome.
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