by Lea Hart
“The great pj debacle has been circumvented, and I’ve alerted all the appropriate parties that the holiday can in fact go on as planned.”
“I know that I’m being crazy, and while I can give you a list of excuses, it all comes down to moving and not feeling like I have anything to hold on to. I was really looking forward to seeing my family, and it’s kind of got me all wonky.”
“I get it,” he replied as he held her hand tightly. “This is a year of transition and shit like that is never easy. We’re starting our traditions and it’s going to be a little weird until we’ve got our rhythm down.”
“Feel free to join me in my freak-out.”
“Not necessary.”
“That’s very disturbing.”
“No, it’s just that I didn’t grow up with any great traditions, so the holidays are just a matter of survival for me. I don’t associate the whole thing with a lot of joy, so my expectations are really low.”
“Well, we need to change that.”
“Meaning?”
“We’re going to kick this holiday’s ass and make it freaking amazing.”
“Way to keep reasonable expectations.”
“Fuck that. We’re going to do everything!”
“Baby, did you have a drink or two on the plane?”
Turning, she blew out a raspberry. “I had a glass of wine. I’m just getting pumped up for the holiday.”
“We could stay in bed and have sex two or nine times and trade sexual favors for trips to the fridge, and I’d call it a win.”
“That’s for the day after Christmas.”
He watched her crack her knuckles and had a feeling there was little he could do to talk her off the ledge of Christmas madness she was perched on. “Right now, we’re committed to dinner at Cole and Kelly’s on Christmas eve and midnight mass at her church.”
“Kelly goes to church?”
“Almost every Sunday. She’s a member of the AME where Terrence and his mom are parishioners.”
“At least we’re in for some good music and real holiday spirit. I was raised a Methodist and we’re a pretty restrained lot.”
“Guess we can figure out the whole religion thing down the road.”
“Meaning?”
“We’re going to have to come to some sort of agreement eventually, and since I wasn’t raised with any, I’ll probably just defer to whatever you want.”
“We’re not even…”
“Oh hell yes we are,” he replied firmly. “We’ve had a rough start, but that’s not going to mean a thing in the end. I know my sanctuary and peace lies within the relationship we’re going to create, and I’m sure not going to let anything get in the way of that happening.”
Cecily looked out the window and let out a sigh. “Where do you get all this confidence about what we’re capable of?”
“It’s a gut feeling, and since the thing has never steered me wrong, I’m going with it.”
“I’m tired of being mad at you, Zach.”
He turned and studied her profile. “That sounds like good news.”
“I don’t trust you yet, and I know that’s going to take time, and…”
“Yes,” he replied quietly hoping with every fiber of his being that she was ready to give him a chance.
“I’m going to have to take some sort of leap of faith and move forward so I can see if trusting you with my heart is possible.”
“I can’t ask for more and want you to know how fucking much I appreciate it.”
“Please don’t break me, Zach.”
“Not in a million years,” he replied as he studied the ribbon of red lights that reflected off the windshield as traffic slowed down near the strip. “I’m fairly confident that what we create is going to be the place where I can breathe deeply and feel unafraid. A place to abandon my fear and self-destructive habits. I think you are my home, and I’m going to operate accordingly.”
Silence.
Not a breath.
Not a single movement.
Until the sound of her skin moving against his as she tightened her hold, filled the truck.
Acceptance.
That’s what that was.
And something like that didn’t need the weight of words.
Breathing deeply and quietly, he took the moment in and accepted the grace the universe had decided to bless him with.
Shit like this was so rare that missing a second of it would be a crime, and he had no intention of letting that happen.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Five and a half weeks.
That’s how long it had been since he’d been intimate with his woman.
“You’re done with your mad, right baby?”
“If I say yes can we have makeup sex?”
“Maybe.”
“What?”
“Just kidding. I’m totally going to sex you up. But…”
Stopping in the hall, she slid her hands on her hips. “You better be joking.”
Zach moved his hand along her arm, letting it rest against her neck. “I’m horny as hell, but I don’t want to restart our relationship with old poison. So do you forgive me?”
“I did a long time ago.”
“You failed to mention that.”
“I was too mad and hurt to remember.”
“And now?”
“I’m moving forward and praying that the hundreds of beautiful things you’ve said will soon become true.”
Grinning, he pulled her hand and walked quickly down the hall. “Good enough.” He strode into the room and tugged her into his arms, sealing his lips over hers. The kiss turned hot instantly, and he bit her bottom lip to let her know there was going to be no mercy shown. Needing to feel her skin, he got rid of their clothes as fast as he could.
His heart skipped a beat, and he sighed, allowing a moment to reacquaint himself with the beautiful curves that were his to devour. Her whiskey eyes darkened, as he tumbled them onto the bed. He let out a whoop when her skin was flush against his and her scent permeated his nose.
Familiar, arousing and completely unique.
He kissed her, trailing his hand down from her throat to her chest and then cupped her full breasts in his hands. When she arched closer, he responded by firming his grip. His cock throbbed hot and hard against her thigh, and he told it to take a damn break because he needed to taste his girl.
Holding a soft breast in his hand, he bent his head and pulled a taut nipple into his mouth. He savored her sweet taste and sucked on the bud until she was wriggling beneath him.
Her response inflamed his need and he swallowed a growl as he slipped his hand between her thighs. She was damp and ready as she moved against his hand, so he slid his finger inside her, and felt her slick muscles grip him tightly.
He trailed his mouth down over her breast, then lower to her stomach, pausing to lick her belly button before following a trail down to her sweet pussy. Dipping his head, he pressed a kiss to her hip and then slid his mouth along her peach until he hit her clit.
“Ooooh,” she moaned as her hips rose.
Sucking her bud firmly, he enjoyed the sound of her pleasure and drove her need higher as he pulled her clit between his teeth.
“Zach, that’s so…”
“Amazing,” he mumbled as his cock pulsed harder, and he gave her more pressure. He pumped his finger and found the spot that always seemed to set her off and continued to lick and nip her clit.
Back and forth, he was giving her everything he could.
Cecily let out a shout as she gripped his head and came with wild abandon. His name was on her lips, and he continued to lap gently as he brought her down. Lifting his head, he grinned with satisfaction as she collapsed against the bed.
He crawled up her body and deposited a string of kisses, grabbing her hands along the way and pushing them over her head. Aligning his cock at her entrance he slid home. “Fucking missed my favorite place in the world,” he gritted out as he did his best not to blow his load.
Cecily’s body welcomed him back with everything he loved.
Her eyes opened wide, and he settled himself between her thighs. “Hey, baby, how are you doing?”
“I missed you, Zach.”
“Let me show you how much I missed you,” he replied as he pulled out and then glided back in, pressing himself all the way in. “Do you feel that?”
“Yes,” she replied quietly. “Everywhere.”
“This is us, fitting perfectly together.” Rocking his hips, he picked up the pace and became aware of every nuance in her smile. Making adjustments with a shift of his hips, he told himself this was all about pleasing her.
Letting her know there would never be another.
Thrusting in and out, he ignored the ache in his balls and the howling need to empty himself inside her womb. He felt her shudder beneath him, and he took it as a signal that he could let go. He pumped his hips with all his strength and took them over.
He detonated inside her and his body flew apart, making his ears ring and colors explode behind his eyes. Shaking and twitching, he came harder than he ever had. Feeling filled his chest and he felt tears prick the backs of his eyes.
He collapsed, barely breaking his fall before slipping into Cecily’s welcoming arms. Her fingers ran softly through his hair as he wrapped her in his arms.
No longer the same man, he smiled against her shoulder and knew that holding back his confession of love wasn’t going to be possible for long.
It was too big, and the chances of him containing it for more than a couple more days would be damn near impossible.
But he was going to find a way, because the last thing he wanted to do was screw up the progress they’d made. And a huge I love you would certainly do that.
Patience.
Had to be some around.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Cecily slid the last present under the tree and stepped back, admiring the lights and gold decorations she’d chosen. It was an elegant ode to Christmas, and she knew that she might only have another couple of years when it would possible.
Truth wasn’t always an easy thing to accept, but avoiding it didn’t make it disappear, and the hard-cold fact was that she loved Zach McCallan—rascal extraordinaire.
There was going to be no getting out of it, either.
He was in her heart and she was never getting him out. Which meant they would likely be making some babies before too long, and all the precious gold and glitter on the tree would give way to something more practical.
Which was fine, since trees filled with homemade ornaments were the best.
Collapsing on the couch, she breathed in the scent of the pine and closed her eyes as she tried to picture what kind of children they’d make.
Would they be careful and cautious like her or fearless and brave like Zach? If they could be a little of each that, of course, would be ideal, but who knew if that was even possible. She heard the garage door open and then his heavy footsteps on the stairs. “How did it go?” she called out.
“Success. The holiday can actually happen.”
She turned and watched him hold up the package. “Thank you, honey.”
“Let’s not request a signature release anymore, because the stress of going to the FedEx office two days before Christmas and praying they haven’t lost the one box that will make your woman happy is too damn much.”
Laughing, she held out her hands and wiggled her fingers. “I thought you were a tough RECON Marine.”
“I am, but that doesn’t do shit for me when the box of matching pajamas goes missing and all your holiday joy hangs in the balance.”
She took the box out of his hands and grinned. “I’ll be ordering these in October next year, so don’t worry.”
“We can’t wear the same ones each year?”
She pressed her hand against her chest and shook her head. “No!”
Zach shrugged off his jacket and then pulled out his knife and sat down next to her. “Easy there, tiger. I didn’t suggest you kick a puppy.”
She handed him the box and watched him slit it open and then let out a little whoop when she saw the red-check material. “So, so happy.” He laughed and she glanced over. “I know this is level-ten crazy, and I’m completely comfortable with it.”
“I know, and that’s what makes it so damn adorable.”
Cecily pulled out the pajamas and sighed. “I can breathe easy.”
“Any other holiday requirements you feel like letting me in on?”
“No, we can discuss Easter when it gets closer.”
“Is there matching clothes involved?”
“No, but I wouldn’t mind seeing you in a pair of bunny ears and nothing else.”
He put his arm around her shoulder and smirked. “Any other fetishes I should know about?”
She turned and ran her hand down his chest. “Well…now that you mention it…”
“I’m not taking you to the Red Door and doing things in public. I know that I said I’d find a way to get on board with your fantasy, but, baby…I just can’t.”
She threw her head back and snorted. “You think I want the world to see your tight perfect ass and generous sized—”
“Cock?”
Pressing her fingers against his lips, she nodded. “To answer my own question, absolutely not. I’ve had enough trouble with women coming on to you, so there’s no way I’m going to allow any advertisement of the goods.”
“The same goes for you.” He lifted his hand and waved it in front of her body. “This is all mine. No one else looks or touches.”
Leaning in, she kissed him gently. “That’s so possessive.”
“Get used to it, because it’s not changing.”
“Yes, oh lord and master.”
He cupped her cheek and nodded. “Feel free to call me that often.”
She rolled her eyes and sat back. “Why do I encourage you in any way?”
“Because you can’t help yourself.”
She took his hand and let out a breath. “You know…I wasn’t ready to meet you.”
His fingers clasped hers, and he nodded. “Neither was I.” Kissing her head, he let out a breath. “You walked into the room and changed the course of my life when you looked up and said I could take you to the moon. I fell head over fucking heels.”
“I fell for you when you kissed me on top of the mountain. The whole world was spread out below us and all that mattered was the way you made me feel when our lips met.”
Taking her face in his hands, he kissed her fiercely. “Cecily Baker, I love you with every bit of my body and soul. I know it’s too soon to say it, and I was going to be patient and wait. But…fuck that shit, I love you, and the sooner you accept it the better.”
“Zach…”
He shook his head and then kissed her again. “I know it’s crazy, but I do.” Seeing a tear slip down her face, he groaned. “Don’t cry.”
“It’s just that I…”
“What?” he almost shouted.
“I seem to love you a little bit too, even though it makes no sense and is possibly the most foolish thing I’ve ever done.”
Laughing, he pulled her closer. “I’ll take your foolish little bit of love and make sure I give you every reason to let it grow into something uncontrollable and wild.”
“I know that what I feel for you is just romantic fluffy love, but maybe with time it will develop into a mature love that could last a lifetime.”
“I’m okay with fluffy love for now, if that’s what keeps you in my arms. You’re the center of my world, and before too long I hope to be yours as well.”
“You already are a little bit.”
“Happy fucking Christmas to me then, because there’s nothing else I need.”
Looking up at his radiant face and happy smile, Cecily felt the last of the clouds lift and decided that Bernadette had been right when she suggested that taking a leap would result in somet
hing so much greater than being safe ever would.
***
Zach lit the fire and then looked around the room, making sure he hadn’t forgotten anything.
Holiday music—check.
Christmas tree lit up—check.
Champagne chilled—check.
Heart beating a million miles a minute—double check.
And red flannel pajama bottoms—check.
Hearing Cecily walk down the hall, he let out a breath and put a smile on his face. “Did you have a good bath?”
“Yes, it was very relaxing.” Her gaze bouncing around the room, she turned and gave him a curious stare. “What are you up to?”
“Nothing. I just want to enjoy a little holiday cheer before we do the whole family thing tomorrow.”
“The champagne is,” she picked up the bottle and smiled, “very fancy.”
“You’re fancy, so we need the appropriate libation.”
She smoothed her hand over her matching red flannel sleep shirt and winked. “Indeed.”
“Sit your fancy ass down and let me get you a glass of bubbly.”
“Yes, my king.”
“Damn straight,” he replied as he popped the cork and poured two glasses. He handed her one and then sat next to her on the couch. “I love you, baby.”
“I love you a little bit, too.”
Tipping their glasses together, he winked. “I see you’re still keeping a stranglehold on your love, and I want you to know it doesn’t bother me a bit.”
“Good, because I don’t plan on letting loose until I feel a little more secure.”
“I might have something that could help with that.” Leaning over, he pulled out a small box he’d hidden under the cushion and put it on her lap. “I can’t wait till Christmas day and want you to open your first present tonight.”
He watched her eyes get big and let out a laugh. “It doesn’t bite.”
“But it’s a small square box.”
“And that’s a problem, why?”
“Well…”
He took her glass out of her hand and then handed her the box. “Show me you’re brave.”
“Do I have to?”
“Yes,” he replied with a laugh. He watched her shaking fingers peel back the wrapping and hoped she loved the present. “Go ahead.”
