by J. L. Drake
“That’s not how this works.” She wasn’t getting it.
“Maybe not in your world, but it does in mine.”
I fought through darkness I’d purposely let in.
“What about your mother?”
“She’ll understand.”
“What about my mother? She loves you too.”
“If only her son did.”
“Sienna,” I rubbed my head, not needing this right now, “you’re not leaving.”
“Elio, just stop. You may be the boss to many, but you’re not to me.”
What was happening? How was I losing control here?
She zipped the suitcase shut and let it fall to the floor. I toed it from her reach and sent it spinning on its wheels across the room. I swung her around and pushed her into the wall, using my knee between her legs to hold her still. Both of my hands slammed to the wall next to her head.
“I’m not in the right frame of mind to deal with this right now. I’m about to go hunting, so my mind is focused on ending someone’s life.” I spoke slowly, making sure she heard each word. “And the biggest part of this particular death is making sure that he experiences a lot of fucking pain.” I was inches from her face; I could feel her heartbeat against mine. I closed my eyes and steadied my feverish temper. “I’m in a pretty dark place right now, so do me a favor and stay put.” My hand snapped over her mouth when she went to speak. “If you need some time alone, take our house and seclude yourself there. No one will bother you. But for God’s fucking sake, do it there and not somewhere Stefano can get to you. If you have any sense at all and want to live to see another day, stay home. Do you understand me?”
She held my intense gaze, and I wanted to shake her for even having a thought to leave.
“All right,” she hissed and shoved my arm out of her way, but I shoved her back in place, grabbing her chin and kissing her hard. “Elio,” she squeaked, and I took advantage of her open mouth and kissed her deeper, stroking her tongue and sucking on it just the way she loved. It was all I could do to make myself stay calm. If I was leaving her for a few days, she was going to let me have her.
She tried to shove me away, but I didn’t budge. I was a brick wall that she’d never get by, so I snagged her wrists and lifted them above her head. With one hand, I parted her legs and skimmed my fingers over the silk fabric and nearly groaned at how turned on she was. I slowed the kiss and let her take a breath. Sienna was a sexy kisser. It was one of the main reasons I couldn’t stop demanding them from her. In all the years we’d fought, she’d always kissed me back. Even when I pissed her off royally, she always made sure I knew we connected. Tonight, she kissed me back, so I knew, deep down inside, she was still with me.
“Be pissed at me,” my chest heaved with the need to be inside her, “but don’t ever deny me something that belongs to me,” I warned as I rubbed my middle finger over her sensitive bud. For a single moment she slipped, but then I saw the fire back in her eyes.
“You’re infuriating,” she huffed, knocking my hand away.
“And you’re turned on, so don’t tell me you don’t like it.”
“So, what if I do?” she shot back, further pissing me off. “You’re using sex as a way to make me submit.”
“You’ve never claimed to have a problem with it before.”
“That’s different.”
“How?”
“Elio, I’m really bothered by what’s happening here. You tell me you love me, tell me the house is ours. You tell me you want me to sleep next to you every night, and the next minute you’re questioning my history, seeing if I could be hiding something that could hurt your family. I have been nothing but honest with you. I’ve never lied to you, or ever did or said anything to hurt your family. I’m the one who takes all the hits in our relationship, and after everything—everything that has happened, I’m still here.” She brushed a tear away.
My phone buzzed, and I glanced at a text from my nonna.
Nonna: Did you get some answers? Everyone has something they keep quiet.
My head spun harder.
“Elio, what’s happening to us?” Her words hurt, and I wanted to explain, but I also needed to know more. I had too much respect for Nonna to ignore her warning. The doubt that had taken root inside me was confusing. It had never been there before with Sienna, ever.
I loved her. She was my everything, but I had to question if what I felt was important. If she couldn’t see that for what it was, then she had some things to work out as well.
My phone buzzed again, and this time it was Niccola saying we needed to leave. I slipped back into dark mode and slowly let her go.
“Elio?”
“Don’t question me, Sienna.” I headed for the door before I heard her whisper.
“But yet you question me?”
A part of me cringed at her words, but I had a job to do.
“I’m saying it one last time.” Piero closed the door to his office. “You don’t have to do this.”
“Yes, I do,” I whispered, feeling lost. I turned to nod at Donatello, one of the caporegimes behind the machine. “Please start.”
“State your name.”
“Sienna Marie Giovanna.” I locked eyes with Piero as the questions were asked. I was giving them bare, raw truth. It was painful, and this had never been asked of me, but I still felt like it was the only way to totally clear myself and prove I was no threat to anyone. When I first brought up the idea to Piero, he had said a definite no, but I finally got through to him that it was necessary, and he had grudgingly made the call. Now, here we were in his office, so I could prove my loyalty and regain the trust of the ones I had come to love.
“Have you told a secret about the Capri family to anyone?”
“No.”
“Have you ever shot someone?”
“Yes.”
“Have you ever killed someone?”
I hesitated as a flashback gnawed at the fragile edges of my memory.
“Pass.” I didn’t know for sure and certainly wasn’t about to lie when I was here trying to prove myself to them. Donatello looked at Piero, who nodded for him to keep going. I knew we’d address that question again later.
“Have you ever…” As the questions continued, I shifted my brain to power down a few levels and relished the hurt that smothered my chest. I was answering the questions, but they didn’t really register. They came to my consciousness, then I deleted them from my memory after each was answered. I wasn’t sure how much time passed before my focus was pulled back to the room.
“Sienna,” the man’s tone suddenly changed, “is there something that you know that the Capri family should know?”
I blinked for a moment and thought about the story my mother told me about Noemi’s past. I dismissed it, as it wasn’t dangerous, and it was not my story to share.
“No.”
“We’re finished.” Donatello stood and handed the printout to Piero, who scanned the report with check marks.
Slowly, I removed the sensors from my skin and stood with a heavy heart.
“Sweet Sienna,” Andrea came up and took my hands, “why did you do that?”
“Because.” I sniffed lightly, happy it was over. “He doubts me.”
Both of their faces fell as I turned and left them standing in some discomfort.
I pulled my purse up over my arm and headed outside to see if I could find that bicycle Vinni had told me about a while back. As I stepped out the door, I found the man in the gray suit again, standing next to a beautifully polished and very old car.
“You’ve been watching me.”
“It’s my job.” His face was set in its usual stone. “Ms. Sienna, I’m Abramo, your new driver.” He opened the car door and stepped back. I hugged my purse tighter. “I’m under strict orders,” he stood very straight as he spoke, “so, if you’d like to walk, I’ll drive behind you. If you’d like to run, I’ll drive behind you. However, given how hot the day will be, I’d thi
nk you might like to drive.” He waved for me to get in.
“And if I don’t?”
“There isn’t an and.”
“I’m meeting a friend in town.” I decided not to push my luck today and just roll with it for now. I hopped inside, and he slammed the door a little harder than necessary then walked around to get into the driver’s seat. He sat there quietly until I realized he was waiting for me to give him the address. I prattled it off, and he gave me a curt nod and put the lovely vehicle in gear.
The car might be old, and smelled it, but it had been carefully maintained, and it was very impressive. I couldn’t help but admire my ride as we glided along the road. I caught sight of an old newspaper neatly tucked in the pocket behind the front seat and tugged it free. It was dated over a decade ago. Seriously? I wondered why they kept it there.
“Nice car.” I tried to make a little conversation, as the quiet was awkward.
“It was time to work out the kinks. She’s been sitting a while.” He eyed me from the mirror.
His expression was odd, but what did I expect? He worked for psycho Nonna.
I settled into the soft, leather seat and looked out the window. The small talk made me uncomfortable. I really missed Vinni.
By the time we got to town and weeded through the traffic I felt myself get excited about seeing Cara after all these years.
“Please stay where I can see you,” Abramo insisted as he held the door, and I tried not to poke him in the eye as I climbed out of the back seat. “Just signal that you’re moving, and I will follow from a distance.”
I didn’t say anything and started my way down toward the park where I was to meet Cara. There were bright, colorful flowers for as far as I could see. I took a moment to admire the view. Oh, how I loved this part of the world. It was truly beautiful.
“Sienna!” Cara called, and I spotted her waving. Her hands flew to her mouth as she raced toward me and nearly jumped into my arms. “Hi, friend!”
“Hi!” I hugged her back, and all my childhood memories of her came rushing back, and I started to cry. “I thought I’d never see you again.”
“Me too.” She pulled away and dried her cheeks. “You look so good!”
“So do you.”
She held up her hand and showed me her rings.
“You’re married?”
“Five years last month, and I have two boys.” She beamed and showed me a photo on her phone. “They are my everything, Sienna.”
“They’re so sweet.” We continued talking as we took a seat at a little table under a tree for shade.
“Wow, it’s so good to see your face.” She reached for my hand and gave it a squeeze. “I was so scared when you left that day, but I just imagined that Elio had swept you away and you were living in a castle way up on a mountain where no one could touch you.” I couldn’t help the few tears that slipped out. “Oh, no,” her face fell, “please tell me that’s what happened.”
“Not exactly.” I cleared my throat. “It’s a long story, but Elio had to leave Sicily suddenly, and so when I got to his place, he was gone.”
“What?”
“I couldn’t go back to the house, so I ran.” I gave her a quick rundown of what had happened in my life after I ran so many years ago. “Then I met a guy who became my best friend and slowly started to turn my life around.”
“I can’t believe that’s what happened, but I get not wanting to come back to the house.”
I gave her a terrified face as I shook my head.
“What about Elio?”
“The article that helped you find me was also how he found me.” I skipped over everything else. “It wasn’t all that long ago when we were reunited.”
“And?”
“And things are…” I fiddled with my hands, “complicated but good.” The words stung so hard I flinched at them. Elio and I weren’t okay, not even close.
“Well, that’s something. Was he married or have any kids?”
“No,” I smiled a little, relieved that he didn’t, “he’s just a little different than I remembered, but we’re trying to make it work, so we’ll see.”
“I’m glad.” She smiled warmly. “You deserve it.”
We sat and watched people walk by, we laughed at the ducks in the little pond, and chatted about her family. She seemed happy and content, and I envied her, but in all the right ways. We strolled arm in arm around the water to order lunch from a vendor.
“I have to ask,” I fingered the paper from my sandwich, “what was it like after I left?”
“Oh,” she made a face, “it was ugly. Andrew was pissed and made everyone’s life even more miserable for a while, but Julie was just happy that there was one less mouth to feed. I do remember there was someone who came by a couple of times to ask about you, but I have no idea what Andrew said to him. Things settled down, and life went on pretty much the same.”
“What about Renzo?”
“He flipped out, although when didn’t he?” She rolled her eyes. “He left about a year after you did, and we didn’t hear from him again until the cops dropped by one night.”
“Oh, Lord, what did he do?”
“He was murdered,” she said through a mouthful of sandwich.
“Oh.” I forced my own bite of sandwich down my dry throat. “What happened?”
“They don’t know, exactly. No one was charged, but he was apparently beaten to death with a pipe.” She shrugged, and my stomach sank again.
“When was this?”
“Umm,” she closed one eye as she thought, “maybe five-ish years ago.”
I tried not to react, but that was right around the time Renzo had found me on the street.
I instantly slipped into a memory of that awful day.
I was huddled against the cold with a piece of cardboard under my bottom for some protection. My jeans had seen better days and were merely a thin layer between me and the outside elements. I was hungry and cold and totally miserable. I sipped some water and forced my brain to believe it was food.
I didn’t know what it was that caused me to look up in his direction. I often wondered who or what was looking out for me in that moment, but I’d have known that walk anywhere. My stomach twisted, and sweat broke out, and all the little hairs on the back of my neck bristled. I was able to take a moment to pull myself together before he reached me and formed a quick plan.
“Sienna!” Renzo barked, curling his fingers into a fist as he grew closer. “You think you can just leave? You think I can’t find you?”
I jumped to my feet, fueled by his words, and lunged toward the trash can where I knew Mad Red kept his weapons for moments just like this.
I held up a pipe and fixed my stance, ready for a fight. I was thankful Mad Red had taught me a few things.
“Oh, that’s cute,” he chuckled down at me. “Nice to know the streets kept you scrappy.”
I kept quiet, again something Red had told me to do. If you spoke, you’d lose your concentration, and that was the key in these situations. You had to be calm and watch for weaknesses and seize any opportunity you could.
“Come on, it’s time to go home.” He reached for my arm, and I swung hard, clipping him in the elbow. He yelped, and I saw his temper flare. “Listen here, you little bitch,” he snarled. “You belong to me! I was willing to look past this minor separation, but now I think I’ll just have to remind you of who’s in charge. Starting with me inside of you…”
I snapped.
Years and years of putting up with his abuse coursed through me, and I saw red.
I let loose and swung at his kneecap and felt a satisfying crunch as he dropped to the ground. I hit an ankle hard to ensure he couldn’t get back up, and then swung again with everything I had right into his stomach. The wind went straight out of him, and he didn’t make a sound.
He lay there curled in a ball as he tried to fight through the pain. I watched and could hear my teen self begging for him to leave me alone.
<
br /> “I was a child with no family, no friends, and no real life, and you tried to rob me of even that,” I shouted as my grip tightened on the pipe. Tears of hate fell down my cheeks, “I was a helpless kid, and you were nothing but a predator that fed off my fear and helplessness.” He rolled onto his side and laughed like the nut job he was as he clutched his stomach.
“I still am.” He swiped out at my ankle and knocked me off my feet, and I landed hard on my back.
“No!” I screamed. This was my turn, this was my moment to stand up, not just for me but for all those kids who needed a voice, who wanted to take back what was ours. Our freedom.
I kicked out wildly, flipped onto my belly, and snatched up the pipe that had rolled just out of reach.
“Come here!” He clawed at my legs, trying to pull me down to him, but I held it high in the air and lost myself.
Moments later, I shimmied away from his unconscious body and stood in sudden fear that rocked my core.
What had I done? His face was battered and covered in blood. I tried to convince myself to check his pulse, but my heart was in my throat. “Come on, Si!” I coached myself as I inched over to touch his neck. If there was a heartbeat, it was barely there.
A sudden sound behind me made me whirl around. A man slowly approached us. I immediately dropped the pipe, grabbed my bookbag, and got out of there.
I often wondered about the man who had interrupted us, did he try and get help for Renzo, or was it too late? Maybe he would have tried to kill me too. The streets were a tough place, and I sure wouldn’t have stayed around to find out.
“If you ask me, the world did us all a favor.” Cara’s voice pulled me back from my memory.
“Sounds like it.”
“It did.” She lowered her tone. “Imagine if Renzo was alive and saw your article. He would have hunted you down.”
“Don’t say that.” I folded up the rest of my sandwich, unable to take another bite.
“Did you ever find your mother?”
“Oh,” I wasn’t sure if I should say yes or not, “we did make contact. We plan on meeting up at some point.”
“That’s really good.”
