He closed his other hand over hers. ‘I know, I know.’ He shifted position, leaning forward in the chair so they were closer to each other. ‘There was that horrible moment today when I had to send Natasha to Theatre. No one knew who she was; there was no family there for her. And all I could think about was Hannah. And how I would feel if that kid was mine.’
‘Of course you did,’ said Clara quickly. ‘That’s what makes you, you.’
Their gazes meshed and a few of the barriers he’d had about this relationship started to melt away. Because he’d seen her face. He knew that Clara had felt exactly the same way that he did. He’d seen her stroke Natasha’s hand. He’d seen her talk softly to her. Yes, Clara was here for a short time. But there were so many things about this woman he liked and admired. Right now, he wanted to put his hand at the side of her cheek and pull her in for a kiss. He was tempted to throw caution to the wind, and wonder if he should actually try to give this a go.
He’d kept his heart in a box for the last five years. Losing his wife so quickly and taking over a new role as both parents to their daughter had swamped his time. He’d had a few dates, but was now realising he’d dated, knowing he didn’t want things to work out.
He’d let lack of trust get in the way. It was easier never to give himself up to trusting someone else. It was easier to tell himself that he required complete honesty in a relationship before he could even consider moving forward.
It was easier to do that than to admit that allowing himself to trust was allowing himself to put his heart at risk again.
His life was ticking along with only the occasional hiccup—only the occasional doubt that he wasn’t doing as well as he could. And this was just it. Every single thought about his personal life always revolved around Hannah. Of course it would—they were a package deal.
But for a few selfish moments he just wanted to think about himself. He wanted to focus on this beautiful woman with the dark brown eyes framed by smudged mascara and tiny freckles across her nose. The one who’d tied her hair up hours and hours ago and not given it another thought since then. She didn’t know that her ponytail seemed to have adopted a life of its own and was now in a precarious position at the side of her head.
There was so much about this woman that just drew him in. The way she got straight to the point—she always told him exactly what she thought—but it was clear she had a big heart. He’d seen it in her interactions with kids in the ward, with his daughter and today in A&E.
But right now he wanted to concentrate on the attraction—the way the air between them just seemed to glimmer at times. The look in her eyes that could shoot a bolt of electricity through him. The way she licked her lips. The way she spoke, with her Scottish burr getting more heavily accented the more intense things got between them.
‘We need to go back up to the ward,’ he said slowly, knowing exactly what he wanted to say next.
‘Okay,’ she said simply, starting to pull her hand away from his, but he stopped her, tightening his grip around hers.
He lowered his voice to a bare whisper. ‘And then we need to talk about the sleeping arrangements, because there is only one on-call room.’
He knew he was looking at her intensely. He couldn’t help himself; he still wondered if he was taking the right step.
She leaned forward, her lips brushing against his ear. ‘Well, I guess we just need to share then,’ she said as she stood up, letting her body brush against his.
It was as if every cell in his body combusted. They were in a room with other staff, even if, because of the emergency situation that had just finished, most of the others were exhausted and no one was paying attention to them. And when Joshua slid his hand back into Clara’s as he stood to follow her, no one else seemed to notice. Her footsteps faltered, then she tossed him a glance over her shoulder that set him alight.
Seconds later, as they walked through the door to the stairwell, their lips were on each other. Clara wrapped her hands around his neck, her kisses leaving him breathless. His hands were in her hair, her ponytail band snapping in a ping as their kisses became more intense, making them both laugh.
They stopped for a second and just breathed. ‘Let’s go upstairs,’ she said quickly, pausing to put a hand on his chest before she gave him a wicked smile, ‘assess the kids...and then find the on-call room.’
She grabbed his hand and they both ran up the stairs. By the time they reached the ward they were both a little breathless, but had managed to keep their hands to themselves. Both put their professional face into place.
Children had to be reassessed, although, because of the stellar work between Isaiah and Arun, most of them only needed a quick check. Parents were another story. Both Clara and Joshua had to spend considerable time with the parents who had arrived at the hospital with fear in their hearts after hearing their children had been in an accident. Even though other staff had reassured them, Clara and Joshua reassured them again that they would both be around tonight and available if required. The night duty staff had started to appear early, and none of them were surprised to know that two doctors were on call tonight. It wasn’t entirely unusual after a major incident, or an outbreak of some sort, that more than one doctor would be available overnight.
When the pizzas that Joshua had ordered arrived on the ward a little later there was enough for everyone, including the kids and parents. Logistics in the ward tonight were awkward. Normally the rules were that each child could have a parent stay overnight if they wished. There were special chairs by each bed that could recline so that they could sleep. But tonight more than one parent wanted to stay, and the ward staff had to juggle and negotiate to find enough space for everyone.
By the time Clara and Joshua headed for the on-call room both were exhausted, but as soon as the door closed behind them it was as if a second wind hit them.
Joshua walked through to the tiny shower attached to the room and held his hand out to her. ‘Shall we?’
She paused for just a second before she very, very slowly started undoing the buttons on her shirt and walked towards him with her hips swinging. ‘Why, I thought you’d never ask...’
CHAPTER EIGHT
IT WAS LIKE a whirlwind. One minute she wasn’t sure quite what was going on between her and Joshua, and the next she knew exactly what was going on between her and Joshua.
They didn’t publicise it. But outside work they seemed to merge into one another’s lives. Clara was trying to tread carefully, but her heart was powering along like a steam train. Hannah was a normal little girl. She had moments when she clearly wanted her father to herself and Clara could read that and make a graceful exit. There were also times when she seemed to delight in them being together, and others when she would crawl up onto Clara’s lap and whisper in her ear, telling her stories about girls at school.
For Clara, the best times were when she could watch Joshua and Hannah together. Their connection was so special. She loved watching them laughing or even quarrelling together. When Hannah tried to cheat him at a board game. Or when she would try and talk him out of a swimming lesson, getting annoyed when he wouldn’t concede.
Weeks passed in a blur. Clara had never dated a guy with a child before. She was learning every day. But it seemed that Joshua was adjusting alongside her.
Because of workload responsibilities, plus the fact they were both on call at different times in the week, sometimes they felt like ships passing in the night. As the short-term childcare hadn’t really worked out, Joshua had long-standing arrangements with friends who could take care of Hannah overnight when he was on call. He didn’t like to ask on any other occasion, meaning that often he and Clara spent time together once Hannah was tucked up in bed.
It was a Friday, and at ten o’clock Clara jumped into the lift with a bottle of chilled rosé in her hands. She was wearing a soft pair of lounge pants and a button-down shi
rt. She even had slippers on her feet. So when she stepped into Joshua’s apartment and saw him dressed in a suit she gave a start.
‘Are you going out?’
‘No—’ he shook his head, smiling, as he took the bottle of wine from her hands ‘—we’re staying in.’ He gestured behind him, where his dining room table was set with a white linen cloth, candles twinkling and red roses in a vase in the centre.
Clara stopped moving, her mouth open in shock. ‘What?’
He walked over and pulled out a chair. ‘Have a seat. We’re having dinner. I’m conscious of the fact I don’t really get to take you anywhere grown-up at night because of Hannah. So I thought I would bring the grown-up to us.’
Clara looked down. She was practically wearing pyjamas. ‘Hold that thought,’ she said as she turned and bolted out of the door. She was a doctor. She had years of practice of yanking on clothes at a moment’s notice. Her top was over her head as soon as she walked back through the door, and her lounge pants pulled down as she walked to the bedroom. It took thirty seconds to change her underwear, and another minute to yank a red dress from the cupboard. She pulled it on and slid her bare feet into black patent stilettos. There were still some remnants of today’s make-up on her face, so she brushed on some bronzer, re-coated her lashes in mascara and slicked on some red lipstick. She was back out of the door and pressing the button on the lift in less than five minutes.
By the time she got upstairs, Joshua had poured the wine. His eyes widened as she walked with confidence back through the door. She wagged her finger at him. ‘Dr Woodhouse, you don’t invite a lady to dinner without giving her some notice. Just as well I can dress just as quickly as I can undress.’ She winked at him as she sat down in the chair.
‘Wow,’ was all he said in response, clearly taking in the tighter than normal red dress and extremely high stilettos. Not exactly daywear. She grinned at the appreciative glance. Ward environments and days out with Hannah didn’t exactly let her bring out her sexy side. Now, for the first time since she’d met Joshua, she finally had a chance to bring out what lay beneath the surface. She’d grabbed the first things she could find—which was probably for the best. If she’d known she was coming up for a romantic dinner she would likely have spent all day trying different dresses on. But it appeared her first instincts had paid off.
He couldn’t hide the glint in his eye as he handed her a little card. It was inscribed with calligraphy, giving tonight’s menu. Her eyebrows raised in surprise. ‘This looks as if it came from a starred restaurant.’
He nodded. ‘It did. Let’s just say I called in a favour that’s been offered for a long time. Everything is in the kitchen, ready to be served.’
She licked her lips, taking in his dark grey suit, pale shirt and slim dark tie. He filled it out well. It was much more fitted than any suit she’d seen him wear at work. She wasn’t quite sure dinner was what she had in mind.
But, as Joshua disappeared into the kitchen, she crossed her legs and took a sip of her chilled wine. She gave a little giggle as she realised he’d wrapped some white fairy lights around a plant in the corner of the room. That, along with the roses and candles? He’d actually given this some thought.
Her stomach warmed. There was something nice about being planned for. The menu was all food that she loved, and one dish she’d told him that she would like to try. They had been casual conversations, he could easily have forgotten, but it was clear that Joshua either had a great memory or he’d taken notes.
He placed a dome-covered dish in front of her, then lifted the dome with a flourish. She inhaled deeply before looking down at the perfectly formed food in front of her.
Mushroom ravioli in a rich sauce. It was a tiny portion but she knew at a glance what it was, as it was one of her favourites. She pointed to the elaborately shaped napkin sitting on the table. ‘I almost don’t want to destroy this, but I can’t take the chance.’
Before she had a chance to move, Joshua had lifted the napkin and shook out the design, laying it on her lap. She laughed then picked up her knife and fork to try the first course. Every bite was delicious.
‘So, tell me how exactly you made this happen?’ she asked. Someone had cooked this delicious food and transported it in a manner to keep it at the perfect temperature. She was almost in awe of them for that feat alone.
Joshua sat down opposite her and gave a warm smile. ‘I took care of someone’s son a few years ago. The little boy had meningitis and had been turned away from the GP surgery twice. His dad brought him to A&E and I realised quickly what was wrong. The little guy was admitted for a few days but recovered. The dad was a starred chef and has constantly been in touch, wanting me to come to his restaurant. This time when he contacted me—’ he paused for a second and then gave a half-shrug ‘—I asked him if there was any possibility the restaurant could come to me.’
‘And it did?’
Joshua held out his hands. ‘See for yourself. It appears that it does.’
Clara smiled and tilted her head to one side as she looked at her now empty plate. ‘That’s the thing about these really posh restaurants. They give you tiny portions. It’s like they’re teasing, and still leaving you wanting more.’
Almost as soon as she said the words she realised her double entendre and her cheeks flushed. Joshua started laughing as he picked up her plate, his eyes twinkling. ‘Somehow, I think I can relate.’
* * *
His skin was tingling with her just being in the room. Something about all this just felt so right. And he hadn’t been sure that it would. But any lingering doubts were rapidly disappearing.
At first he’d thought Clara might be more comfortable in her relaxed clothes—and there was something nice about the fact that she didn’t worry about how she looked before she came up to see him. But her five-minute transformation had been incredible. She had her trademark red lips in place alongside a matching form-fitting dress that just blew him away. When she’d sat down, her shining brown hair around her shoulders, and leaned forward for her glass of wine, giving him a glimpse of her cleavage, he could have spontaneously combusted on the spot. It didn’t matter what had come before. Tonight, he’d wanted it to seem like a proper date. He’d wanted it to be special. And it certainly seemed that way.
The more time he spent around Clara, the more the niggling little doubts just seemed to float away, like clouds on a stormy day. Maybe he was just too cautious. Maybe he’d just been truly on his own for too long. Dating and getting close to someone were two entirely different things—and it was only now he was really appreciating it.
What reason could he have not to trust Clara? She’d never given him one. At work, she seemed upfront and honest. Maybe it really was time to shake off his past experience and truly move on.
Clara followed him through to the kitchen, opening the fridge door and taking out the bottle of wine to top up their glasses while he put the plates in the dishwasher. He turned around in time to see her lifting the edge of one of the silver domes and peeking underneath. He moved quickly behind her, slipping his hand around her waist and resting it on her stomach. ‘Hey, you’ll spoil the surprise. Some might call that cheating.’
She spun around in his arms, winding her hands around his neck. ‘I’ve never been a cheater,’ she teased, ‘maybe I’m just impatient.’ She blinked her dark eyelashes close enough to brush against his cheek. ‘Maybe I just want to get to the good part.’ She held her breath for a second before moving her lips next to his and whispering, ‘Dessert.’
His fingers ran down the length of her spine and she trembled at his touch. ‘I’m happy to get to dessert if you are...’
* * *
The evening passed too quickly. Clara gathered her clothes and disappeared back down to her own apartment before Hannah woke. But Joshua couldn’t sleep. He’d wanted to have a conversation tonight—before they both got distracted
. And that conversation, which inevitably hadn’t happened, made him nervous. Nervous in both a good and a bad way.
There were only two months left of her job swap. He wanted to ask her what her plans were. He wasn’t even sure he’d any right to ask questions like that, but things had heated up between them both so quickly that it felt like the next natural conversation.
Trouble was, this was also a conversation he should have with his sister. Georgie still hadn’t told him what her plans were. He was allowed to ask after her pregnancy-related health. But he wasn’t allowed to ask anything about the baby’s dad. It hadn’t taken long to guess it was a fellow doctor from work. Georgie had reassured Joshua that no, the guy wasn’t married to, or living with, anyone else. All she said was she wanted to be sure. She seemed to be enjoying the job in Edinburgh. But he had no idea exactly what that meant. Right now, he wasn’t sure if she was secretly counting down the days until she returned to London with excitement, with dread, or at all.
A bit like how he wasn’t sure how Clara felt.
Part of him wanted her to love working at the Royal and want to stay. A definite part of him hoped that he and Hannah might factor in that equation. But maybe those were unrealistic expectations. She had a permanent job and home in Scotland. It could be that she wasn’t thinking quite as favourably on things as he was. It could be he was being entirely selfish. Why should Clara give up her life in Scotland for a life in London, just because that was where he lived?
But the thought of uprooting Hannah to a whole new city, a new school, a new circle of friends and activities, made his stomach churn. Would he actually consider doing that to his daughter? Was it even fair?
Joshua let out a sigh and flung off his covers. He wasn’t going to sleep at all tonight. He pulled a T-shirt and shorts from his cupboard and strode through to the kitchen to switch on the coffee machine.
Family for the Children's Doc Page 11
