by Lee Savino
“You see what he did, child?” Thel’s voice is gentle. “He found out that First was going to be on Avela. He knew you’d save the Draekons in Danax’s lab, and he didn’t try to stop you. Instead, he kept First away. He let you do your job, Diana, and he did his.”
“What’s his job?”
Lisa rolls her eyes. “Isn’t that obvious? Protecting you, Diana. Haven’t you noticed that Fourth bristles anytime someone gets too close to you? He tries to hide it, but if you pay attention, you can’t miss it.” She grins. “It’s kind of adorable.”
A thousand tumultuous thoughts run through my mind. Thel clears his throat. “Can I talk to you alone, Diana?”
Soren and Lisa leave the room. Thel fixes his gaze on me. “I sense a distance between us, child. Will you tell me what is wrong?”
Oh, fuck it. I’ve been avoiding this conversation ever since Besep 3, but it’s long overdue. I won’t let Zabek ruin all my relationships. I take a deep breath. “Ever since he got on board, Zabek has been engaged in a campaign to undermine me.”
I tell Thel everything. The snide insults. The constant second-guessing of my decisions. And, most importantly, I tell my mentor that his son, his only child, murdered four people in cold blood.
For a long time after I finish, Thel stares at the floor in silence. Finally, he raises his head. “I wish you’d come to me,” he says softly. “I wish I’d paid more attention to what was happening on my ship.” His lips twist. “It’s time for me to retire, Diana.”
“That’s not why—”
“That’s not why you told me. I know that.” He shakes his head. “Zabek is my only child, and I love him. But he’s flawed. For many years, I ignored the nagging suspicion that he wasn’t the right person to lead the Mahala after my retirement. Then he insisted on robbing a factory in Shamak. I thought the responsibility would be good for him. It wasn’t. Five of my crew died.”
I look into his eyes, and I almost drown in the depth of his pain. “Those deaths were my fault,” Thel says bleakly. “I had to atone. I sent him away, even though it broke my heart.” He exhales. “My son is selfish and self-centered, but I love him, and the Mahala feels emptier without him here.”
Thel was in pain, and he wanted comfort. He wanted his kid around. I can’t begrudge him that.
“Zabek is not the Second-in-Command,” he says. “You are. If he was causing problems, why didn’t you talk to me?”
“I didn’t know if you’d back me up,” I whisper. “Zabek is your flesh and blood. I’m just some random human woman you rescued.” Like a stray puppy.
“You are kin, child, and more than that, you are my chosen successor. I don’t make those decisions lightly. I told you at the start—you had nothing to worry about.”
He had. I hadn’t believed him. “I never understood why you chose me. It feels like a fairy tale, and those don’t happen to people like me.”
“People like you? Diana, over and over again, you’ve shown your mettle. I trust you with my ship and with my people, and I’m not the only one. Look at this loop. Mirak could have stopped us in Avela, and instead, he kept First away.”
Thel is right. Mirak didn’t interfere with my rescue mission. He trusted me to handle it. With First out of the picture, he trusted that I’d manage the situation.
My father hadn’t fought CPS’s decision to take me away. My aunt hadn’t wanted me in her home; she’d kicked me out the instant I turned eighteen. And because of my childhood scars, I wouldn’t let myself believe that people cared about me.
I put my hand over Thel’s. “I’m sorry. I should have handled Zabek differently. I let my insecurity come between us. I won’t do it again.”
“I’ll talk to Zabek, if you don’t mind,” Thel says. “But I give you my word. He’ll be leaving the Mahala at our next planetary stop.” He gives me a pointed look. “Speaking of letting insecurity come between people…”
Hetov is a trap. First is definitely going to be there. Mirak can’t keep him away, not the way he did in Avela. That’s why he said those things to me. He was trying to drive me away.
I jump to my feet, fling open my door, and stick my head out. “Soren, tell me you bugged Mirak’s ship when it was parked on our flight deck.”
Soren looks mildly offended. “Of course I did, Chief Officer.” He holds up his screen. “The blue dot is the Isad.”
He’s still in the same sector. I have to talk to him. “I’m taking a flier.” The small, maneuverable ship is exactly what I need to chase down Mirak.
“Good,” Thel says with satisfaction. “With any luck, you’ll be there in…”
His voice trails off. I follow his gaze to Soren’s screen.
Where there was a blue dot a second ago, there’s nothing.
Mirak’s ship, the Isad, is gone.
I have a very bad feeling about this.
31
Mirak
I have a very bad feeling about this.
“I was always suspicious about what you were up to,” First continues. “You reaching out to me? After Consalas? After Nestri? It didn’t make sense. It made me think.”
“Thinking. That’s new for you.”
He ignores my insult. “You told me that the Rebellion found out about the laboratory on Avela after I scheduled our meeting there. But that story doesn’t add up. No, it’s obvious that the Rebellion found out about my plans before we talked.” His eyes turn to ice. “I have a traitor in my organization.”
Caeron, I hope Theldre’s spy has covered his or her tracks well. I really don’t want to watch First torture anyone else. Once was enough.
“Nothing to say, Fourth?”
“And interrupt your monologue?” I roll my eyes. “I’ve never met anyone who loved the sound of their own voice more than you, First. I wonder how Blood Heart puts up with it. I almost feel sorry for them.” I fix him with a cold stare. “You’re blocking my comms. You’ve called to gloat. Get to the point, First. I don’t have all the time in the world.”
“No, as a matter of fact, you’re almost out of time.” His lips thin into a smile. “But I’m getting ahead of myself. When you reached out to me, I took some precautions. I had one of my soldiers plant a tracker on your ship.”
The hair on the back of my neck stands up. “That’s not possible. You couldn’t have found it.”
“Couldn’t I?” He looks smug. “Third isn’t the only one good with technology.”
I don’t want to believe him, but he’s blocking my comm, and I didn’t think that could be done either. A tracker. A chill runs through me. The Isad has been parked in the Mahala’s flight deck for the last four days. If he was able to track me, First was also able to track Diana. “I run scans.”
“I run scans,” he repeats mockingly. “The tracker wasn’t the only thing Jurux planted. But once again, I’m getting ahead of myself. I wanted you alive, Fourth. But after the trick you played on me on Avela, I changed my mind. Nobody thwarts my will and lives.”
Nobody thwarts my will and lives. I scoff openly. “You were always good at self-delusion, I’ll give you that.”
Nobody’s been inside the Isad. He said Jurux had planted more than the tracker. Whatever else First has done, it’s on the exterior of my ship. My mind races. What could it be?
“But when was the best time to kill you? Right away? That was a tempting thought, I have to admit. And then I hit upon something better. I decided to attack the Draekons on Hetov. I announced it to my inner circle. And here you are, charging off to the rescue.” His expression turns to stone. “I know now that there is definitely a traitor among my soldiers. It’s only a matter of time before I find him.”
He leans forward. “And now we finally come to the best part. You think I’m three days away, don’t you, Fourth? You’re already calculating routes that will get you there ahead of me. You think you’ll get there sooner than me. That should give you enough time to evacuate the Draekons. You’re already plotting how you’re going to
find out who leaked their location. You have a plan, don’t you?”
Ice trickles down my spine.
“Here’s some news for you. You’ve failed. I’m not three days away, and you’re definitely not going to get there in time. Hetov is going to be a demonstration of what happens to people who go up against me. Third thought he could protect the Draekons in Cintra. He’s going to find out how wrong he was.”
He pauses dramatically. “As for you, Fourth… Part of me wants to leave you alive long enough for you to see every single Draekon on Hetov die. But I’ll have to deny myself the satisfaction.” His eyes gleam with bloodlust. “Jurux planted more than a tracker. He also hid explosives in the nose of your ship. And they’re about to go boom.”
I’m out of my seat before he finishes. My useless comm clatters to the floor. I move, faster than I’ve ever moved in my life, toward the Isad’s lifepod.
“Goodbye, Fourth.”
32
Diana
“I think his ship just blew up,” Soren whispers.
Panic engulfs me. Mirak can’t be dead. I refuse to accept that. I would know if he was dead. I would be able to feel it.
A strange calm comes over me. “Ships have lifepods.” I start to run. Over my shoulder, I bark instructions. “Soren, scan the wreckage for survivors. I need you to find him before he runs out of oxygen.” Draekons are pretty indestructible, but even they can’t breathe in a vacuum.
Lisa keeps pace with me. “Diana, there’s a chance he’s—”
“No.” I cut her off. “He’s alive. And I’m going to bring him back.”
I can’t navigate, but I am a good pilot. Mirak hasn’t jumped into a wormhole, thank heavens, because I’d never be able to follow him. Fliers are strictly for near space. I take off, setting my course to take me to the Isad’s last known location.
Fear nips at the edges of my consciousness, like a feral beast lunging to attack, but held back by a straining leash. I refuse to allow it to take over. In the six months I’ve been on the Mahala, I’ve lost track of how many missions we’ve done.
This is the most important one.
I rev the engines, going as fast as I can. I’m acutely conscious of the time. If he got on a lifepod, Mirak should have enough oxygen to last a day or two. Unless the tanks were destroyed in the explosion. Or if his pod was damaged…
Now is not the time for worst-case scenarios.
I’m in survival mode. In a way, I’ve been in survival mode all my life. It’s only around Mirak that I let my guard down. For some strange reason, I’ve always felt connected to him. Even when we were adversaries, even when he got to Neiptiun before I did and robbed our target before we could, I was drawn to him, like a moth to dragon flame.
“I’m not picking anything up,” Soren announces through the comm.
“Scan the area again.”
His face tells me that he thinks this is futile. He doesn’t voice it though. “Yes, Chief Officer.”
Mirak can’t be gone. Not like this. I’d give anything to see him one more time. To see him smile at me. To see him flip my knife into the air and catch it just before I can snatch it away. I’d sell my soul to the devil for one more night in his arms.
The flier’s proximity sensors beep. I see the debris of the Isad on my viewscreen. There’s a sinking feeling in my stomach. Somehow, seeing the wreckage of Mirak’s ship makes it real that his ship exploded, and there’s a chance…
No.
I refuse to think that way. I’m never going to give up on him.
But as much as I try to hold the fear at bay, with each passing moment, my hope fades. I’m cold all over. Under my outward calm, dread grows in my stomach. Panic claws at me.
And then, when I’m on the verge of drowning in my terror, I see it. A small, half-mangled lifepod, drifting among the debris.
Please let Mirak be on it.
I maneuver the flier as close to it as I can get. There is a tractor pull on my ship, but if I’m not careful, I could crush the already-damaged pod. I hold my breath, cross my fingers, and bring him in.
Mirak isn’t breathing. He’s cold to the touch. His skin has an alarming blue tinge to it.
Panic grabs me in its grip. I free myself with a snarl. Now is really not the time. I run for the field med-kit and tip the contents on the floor. Every month, Odrien, the ship’s healer, insists on holding a drill to prepare us for a real emergency.
I hear his voice now, calm and reassuring. Start by identifying the problem.
Oxygen. Mirak needs oxygen.
The med-kit contents are color-coded by species. Grey for the Ektons, blue for Zorahn and Draekon crew members, green for Venan, and red for human.
If Mirak were human, I’d perform CPR. But Mirak is Draekon. Chest compressions aren’t going to help; I need the blue defibrillator instead. I grab the box, rip off Mirak’s shirt, and attach the nodes, my heart in my mouth. As it’s powering up, I tilt Mirak’s head back and lift his chin up, opening his airway.
The device beeps. I hit the button and an electric current jolts into my Draekon.
Nothing happens.
I hit the button again. Odrien’s warning sounds in my ears. No more than four times.
Mirak doesn’t move.
He’s supposed to be a big, powerful dragon, damn it. He’s supposed to be invulnerable. I thought I was afraid when Mirak faced the Pajeon in Besep 3, but that fear pales in comparison to my terror now. Tears roll down my cheeks, and I smash my fist down on the defibrillator button for the third time.
He’s completely still.
My heart feels like it’s being squeezed by a giant fist. My chest is heavy, and my palms are clammy. He’s not waking up, and I don’t know what to do. I’m running out of options. The Mahala should be right behind me, but if the emergency defibrillator can’t restart his heart, Odrien isn’t going to be able to resuscitate him either.
Please, Mirak, I whisper in desperation. I lace my fingers in his and lean down to kiss his cold lips. I’m not ready to say good-bye. I’m not ready to let you go. Please wake up.
Then I press the button for the last time.
He coughs, gasps, and sits up with a jolt. “Diana?”
He’s alive.
33
Diana
My knees give way. I slump on the floor next to him and put my head on his shoulder. I don’t know if I want to kiss him or punch him. “You idiot.” I want to sound indignant, but my voice is shaky, and I sound like I’m about to burst into tears. I died a thousand deaths in the last hour. “Never do that again.”
He wraps his arm around me. “Never again,” he vows. “How did you find me?”
It’s a long story. If Soren hadn’t bugged his ship… If Axion hadn’t kept the fliers in top shape, ready to take off at a moment’s notice… If Thel hadn’t insisted I spend hours in the simulator, learning to fly the attack ships… If Odrien hadn’t made us drill over and over on what to do in the event of an emergency…
This wasn’t the result of my actions. This was a team effort. Still, I can’t help teasing Mirak. “I am good at what I do.”
His face contorts. “I’m so sorry, Diana,” he says, his voice thick with regret. “What I said to you, it was unforgivable. I should have never—”
I hold up my hand to cut him off. “I know. I saw a video of you talking to First on Avela.” I grimace. “It’s my fault too. I couldn’t trust that things were going well between us. I was waiting for everything to fall apart.” His color is getting a little better, but he really shouldn’t be exerting himself. “You need oxygen. There’s a vial somewhere.”
He reaches for a syringe. “Got it.” He sticks the needle into his arm and then gives me a severe look. “I will not let you blame yourself for what I did,” he says. “I should have never said those things. I thought I was doing the smart thing by leaving you, but…”
“But you were not.” I give him a sidelong look. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, Mirak, but
you turn into a big scary fire-breathing dragon. If you want to protect me, I’m a lot better off with you around.”
He replaces the vial with another one and then laces his fingers in mine. “I love you, Diana,” he says. “I love you so much that it terrifies me. I love you so much that I don’t have words for it. I want to live on the Mahala with you. I want to be the navigator. Not just until I can recruit Thel, but forever. I want to share your bed every night. I want to buy a plant for your quarters because you should have a plant. And maybe a pet, I don’t know. Unless you don’t like pets.” He runs his hands through his hair and stares at me, his eyes uncertain. “I’m babbling. You’re my mate, and more than that, you are the love of my life. I’m never going to leave again.” He swallows hard. “If that’s okay with you?”
He loves me. Joy simmers through me. A deep, contented happiness fills my heart. “I’m okay with that.” I want to jump on his lap and throw my arms around him, but I settle for squeezing his hand. “I love you too.”
I want to be the navigator. I take a deep breath. “On the Mahala, I outrank you. Is that going to be a problem? Because if it is—”
“Do you think I’m so insecure that it would matter that you’re the captain?” He gives me an exasperated look. “Diana, I transform into a fire-breathing dragon. I have nothing to prove to anyone.” His face softens. “You will make an excellent captain, spitfire. You care about the crew. The people on the Mahala, they’re your family. Every one of them would kill for you. I want you, Diana. I don’t care about anything else.”
I’m on the verge of jumping him, injuries be damned, when the flier jerks. Argh. “That’s the Mahala’s tractor beam.”
He pulls me on his lap. “Make them go away.” His hands cradle my jaw. He tilts up my chin and lowers his lips to mine. “Unless you want an audience.”
For a crazy, insane second, his kiss blots every thought from my mind. Then I pull myself free and glare at him. “You almost died. So no, we’re not sending the Mahala away. When we get on board, you need to get yourself to the med-bay and let Odrien check you out. Okay?”
