by Anna Hackett
Maybe she felt safe around Mace because he didn’t treat her like she was broken. Even when he was being rude, she knew in her bones that he wouldn’t hurt her.
Pushing herself up, she caught her watery reflection in the window. She winced. She looked like… “A mess.”
She’d inherited her curls from her African-American granddaddy. He’d gifted her with her hair, her love of music, and the darker shade to her skin. But now those curls were a snarled tangle.
He’d like to joke that she’d inherited the best bits of him, her grandmother, and her mother. Her scientist mother’s intelligence, her grandmother’s love of jewelry and style. Jayna looked at her bare arms. She used to love wearing loads of bangles.
Her gaze fell on her cybernetic hand and her belly tightened. She flexed the metal fingers, still not used to seeing them. She’d also loved all her silver rings, but the Edull had stripped her of those after her abduction, and then Gaarl had taken her hand.
Bile rose in her throat, and gritting her teeth, she tried to slow the rapid beat of her heart. Won’t let them win. Won’t let them win.
Instead, she thought of her family. Her grandparents were gone now, both passing a few years ago, within months of each other. Jayna’s parents must have been distraught when the Helios had gone missing. She was their only child and they were close.
Ever had said they had a way to communicate with Earth, and that when she was ready, she could contact her parents. She looked at her tangled hair. She couldn’t let them see her like this.
As she stared at the lost, broken woman in the glass, she felt a hollow pit in her stomach. She felt used up, broken into a thousand tiny pieces.
A throb started in her head, drilling into her skull. She wasn’t strong enough to find her way back. She wasn’t like Ever, Quinn, or Mina. The other survivors from Earth were all brave and strong.
She could never go back to Earth. Pain was like a hammer to her heart. The Thraxian slavers who’d attacked the Helios had used a transient wormhole to reach the Earth’s solar system. The wormhole was long gone now, and Earth was on the other side of the galaxy.
For better or worse, Carthago was home.
But even here, surrounded by the people who’d rescued her, she felt so horribly alone and lost.
Suddenly, Jayna couldn’t get any air. She leaped to her feet.
She had to get out. She had to breathe.
Rushing out the door, she sprinted down the corridor. She turned corner after corner, until she was hopelessly lost. She sprinted past a door and saw the cool face of a young cyborg man. He called out to her, but she kept running.
Thundering down some stairs, her heavy breathing echoing off the stone walls, she ran outside. The sand was gritty under her bare feet and she realized she was in the House of Rone training arena.
Thankfully, it was empty.
She dropped to her knees, fighting back her sobs. It didn’t matter where she ran, or how fast, she couldn’t escape the ugly memories of the Edull, couldn’t escape what had happened to her, or the fact that she would never go home again.
Her chin dropped to her chest. Once, she’d been strong and smart and smiling. She’d loved her work, lived to strum her guitar or listen to her favorite rock bands, enjoyed the company of her friends.
Now she had no idea who she was.
The more she tried to remember, the more her head throbbed. With each beat of her heart, pain stabbed into her brain.
“Jayna?”
Quinn’s voice made Jayna stiffen. The other woman walked closer, her boots crunching on the sand. The former security chief of the Helios crouched down, her blonde-brown hair in a braid that hung over one shoulder, concern on her strong face.
“You okay?
Jayna shook her head and pressed a palm to her temple. She fought the urge to rock herself.
“You’re safe. You’re doing fine.”
Jayna kept her gaze on the night-drenched sand. She wasn’t fine. Her head hurt, she could barely think, and all she wanted to do was hide in the shadows. “I’m broken.”
“Don’t say that. You’ve only been free a week, give yourself some time.”
Quinn hadn’t needed time. Jayna’s headache ramped up, like spikes driven into her eyes.
“What can I do to help you?” Quinn asked quietly.
“Nothing,” Jayna whispered.
With a nod, Quinn rose. Her fingers brushed Jayna’s shoulder and Jayna fought off the urge to stiffen. For so long, the only time anyone had touched her had been when they were hurting her.
“I’m here. We’re all here when you need us. I’ll find what you need.”
As Jayna listened to the other woman’s footsteps fade, she wrapped her arms around her middle. She looked at the night sky, at the pin pricks of the stars, and tried to remember her work. She was, had been, an astrophysicist. She loved the stars, planets, nebulae, and the patterns between them. Or she had.
She squeezed her eyes closed, her headache growing until her stomach churned.
A big hand cupped her cheek.
Jayna jerked, a cry lodging in her throat. Her eyes flew open and met Mace’s.
His green-rimmed dark eyes looked turbulent.
“Quinn,” Jayna murmured.
He nodded. “You’re in pain.” A callused thumb brushed her temple.
She wanted to push her face into his palm, but surely she could dredge some strength up. Find the woman she used to be.
“It’s okay to need help, Jayna.”
She fought back a sob. What did this strong cyborg know about needing help? He must think she was so weak.
Taking her hand, he rose, pulling her to her feet. For a second, all she could see was his bare chest. He always wore tough, worn leather trousers and left his chest bare. He was all hard ropes of muscle and intriguing bulges.
“Come with me.” He tugged her deeper into the shadows.
Jayna followed and again wondered why this one gruff cyborg was the one who made her feel safe.
Mace pushed through the metal gate, the hinges squeaking in the night. The scent of blooming flowers and the gentle trickle of flowing water hit his enhanced senses.
He felt Jayna’s fingers flex in his.
The small courtyard was hidden in a corner of the House of Rone, not far from the training arena. He was sure not many people used it, or even knew it was here. Sitting around small water features and relaxing wasn’t something cyborgs tended to do.
He stepped back, and with hesitant steps, Jayna moved forward. He saw her lips part and she walked toward the small pool of water, dropping down onto the low wall around the water feature. Water trickled down a stone wall, making what he guessed was a pleasant sound.
On the wall behind her, a vine grew, climbing the stone. It was loaded with white flowers. She trailed her fingers in the water and Mace crossed his arms, leaning back against the wall.
When an upset Quinn had told him that Jayna needed him, he hadn’t hesitated. In fact, he’d left a bewildered Acton mid-conversation.
Jayna’s shoulders relaxed a little and she drew in a deep breath.
“I’m broken,” she whispered. “There’s nothing left of me.”
He grunted. “You’re wounded. You’ll heal.”
She looked up at him through her hair. “You think it’s that easy.”
“I never said it was easy. But you survived this long, you escaped the Edull. You’ll heal.”
She wrapped an arm around her middle. “I’ll never be the same as I was.”
“Life changes us.” Mace thought of the synthetic organs inside him. The scars that no one could see, but he never forgot were there. “Happens to all of us.”
Her chin lifted. “I wasn’t weak or afraid before. I was confident. Loved my work. I didn’t need anyone to hold me up.”
He shifted closer. Drak, some unknown part of him wanted to touch her, but he ruthlessly kept his hands at his sides. He didn’t need to get anymore tangled up
with Jayna than he already was. “You might not be who you were before, but you can be a new you.”
“I have so many broken pieces and I don’t know how to put them back together.” A sob escaped her and panic flared in her eyes. “All I can remember is pain.”
Mace crouched in front of her and gripped her knees. Her legs were so slender under his hands. “Remember where you are. Remember you’re safe.”
Her eyes turned unfocused and she clamped her hands onto the sides of her head. The sound she made was a keening cry of terror.
He realized she wasn’t seeing him. Was lost in her head. “Jayna.”
She swung her fist at him, fear etched on her face.
He caught her arm. “Jayna, stop—”
“Don’t hurt me! Don’t cut me open again.”
Drakking Edull. He pulled her close, even as she hammered at his chest.
“Leave me alone!”
“Jayna, stop.” He put all the command he possessed into his voice.
She froze.
“You’re at the House of Rone,” he said.
“Mace?”
“I’m here.”
Her breathing was too fast, her body trembling. “I was back there. In their labs.”
Mace frowned. “They had you in a lab?”
She pressed two fingers to her forehead and rubbed. “Yes…I can’t really remember.”
Scooping her up, he sat on the low wall and settled her in his lap. Her body was stiff.
“You can go,” she murmured. “Just leave me alone.”
He didn’t respond.
She tried to shove him away. “You don’t want to have to deal with this.”
“I’ve got you.” He tucked her face against his neck. She shuddered, her warm breath puffing against his skin. “Won’t let you go.”
“I’m…already gone.” Her voice was a harsh whisper.
“No, you’re not. You’re just a little lost.”
Then he felt the warmth of her tears. A quiet sob broke from her and then she was crying.
“Let it out.” He held her tighter, wondering for a second why he didn’t take her to Ever or Quinn. He’d never, ever comforted a crying woman. Never wanted to hold anyone skin to skin until they felt better.
Deciding not to analyze it too much, he held her until the sobs turned to small hitches of her chest. Then she cocked her head, her body going still.
Mace heard it. From the other side of the wall came the strumming of strings and the beat of a drum. Probably some house workers on a break.
Jayna lifted her head, her cheeks still streaked with tears and her eyes red. He set her on her feet and she moved to the wall, listening. She pressed her fingers to the stone and he watched her body slowly relax.
“You like the music?” he said.
“I’ve always loved music. I play…played the guitar.” Her eyes closed and a look crossed her face. It was the closest to peace that he’d seen from her.
They stayed there until the music stopped.
“Jayna?”
She turned to look at him, her face hidden by the shadows.
“I know what it is to be ground down by life. To feel so beaten that you can’t see a way back.”
She gasped, her hands clenching at the hem of her shirt. But her brown gaze watched him intently.
“You take it one day at a time. Healing is rarely clean and tidy. It’ll be messy and hard, but keep trying and you’ll get there.”
Her teeth bit down on her bottom lip. Mace’s gaze dropped. She had full, lush lips. Drak.
“I’ve heard people talk about you. Rough, gruff, not very friendly.”
He cocked his head. “Sounds about right.”
“Why are you helping me?” A quiet whisper he could barely hear.
Mace rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t drakking know.”
She stared at him for another beat. “I want to heal…but sometimes hope is harder than despair.”
He knew that better than anyone. “You keep trying, or you let the Edull win.”
Chapter Three
Jayna woke to bright sunshine.
She blinked, fighting to clear her head. Echoes of thoughts and memories twirled through her head. A dull headache was threatening.
Sitting up, she did what she’d done every morning since her rescue. Reminded herself she was free, in the House of Rone, and went over the names of everyone who’d helped rescue her. It grounded her, because she never knew when her fractured mind would twist away and she’d be back in the fog.
She shoved her hair back, fingers tangling in the knots. Dammit, Mace was right. By staying trapped by her fears and ignoring life, she was letting the Edull win.
Jayna shuddered. She wouldn’t let those bastards have any control over her. Never again.
Rising, she walked into her bathroom. Her body felt a little shaky, making her realize how weak she was. Another thing her captors had stolen from her.
But you can get stronger, if you want. One day at a time.
She looked at herself in the mirror. She had a lovely wild woman look going on. She grabbed a pretty, bone-handled brush off the vanity, and started pulling it through her hair.
Tears pricked her eyes. Damn, every tug pulled on her scalp. Some of the knots were bad.
With even strokes, she kept methodically working the brush through her hair. Tears welled again, and with fierce determination, she fought them back and kept brushing until her hair was a glossy, thick mass of curls framing her face. There. She was no longer a cavewoman.
Walking back into her room, she grabbed one of the energy drinks that the healers kept forcing on her. It didn’t taste bad…she just didn’t want them. Until now. She sipped it and walked to the windows.
Fuck the Edull. She stared through the glass, barely paying any attention to the gladiators and cyborgs training in the arena below. She wouldn’t let them win. She’d do whatever she could to make them pay.
Her thoughts became clearer, the jumble of discordant images straightening out.
Jayna sucked in a breath. While she’d been busy protecting herself, she’d forgotten that there were other members of the Helios crew who were out there.
Still trapped like animals.
Lifting her free hand, she massaged her temple. She had to remember. Who were they? Where were they?
She’d been so focused on herself. Selfish.
She stared out the window once more, and up at the faded blue sky and its two big suns. I’ll help find you.
Deciding she was going to do whatever she could to get her strength back, she put her drink down and moved over to the lovely woven rug on the floor. She started doing some basic yoga poses, stretching out tight muscles. She smiled. It felt good. She kept going until her arms and legs were trembling. She’d never been a huge exercise fan, but man, she was out of shape.
Rising, she pulled in a steadying breath. For the first time in a really long time, she felt the faint hum of need to pick up her guitar. She thought of the strange, alien music she’d listened to by the water fountain. Despite it being so different to her beloved rock music, it had soothed something inside her. Her lip quivered. It was a shame her battered, well-loved instrument had been destroyed with the Helios.
Okay, time to venture out, Jayna. She headed out into the hall, fighting to keep her discordant mind focused. Turning a corner, a flash of movement near the floor made her freeze.
It was a cat. She stared at it and it stared back. It was like no cat she’d ever seen before. This animal had a powerful body, larger than a house cat, it reminded her of a lynx, but most unique of all was the fact that it was a cyborg.
“Hey,” Jayna said.
The cat’s cybernetic tail flicked. Its dark fur was dotted with metal limbs and enhancements, including the implant on one eye that glowed.
Then it strode past her, sauntering down the corridor.
Dismissed. With a shake of her head, she continued on. As she neared an open d
oorway, feminine laughter from inside caught her ear.
Tucking her hair back, she stepped inside.
Two women glanced up, and Jayna felt a thump in her chest. Both women were from Earth. Both had been through similar traumas to hers. Ever had been on the Fortuna Space Station when the Thraxians had attacked. She’d survived the desert here on Carthago and a lawless desert arena. She was now in love with Magnus Rone and had a daughter. The little girl was currently lying on the floor, playing with some colorful toys.
Quinn—strong, fit, and courageous. Quinn had survived the Edull. She didn’t let them break her, and had tried to escape so many times that they’d sold her to some desert junker.
She’d been rescued by the House of Rone, and now shared Jax’s bed.
“Jayna.” Quinn came forward, holding a hand out.
Beside her, Ever smiled. “Your hair looks lovely.”
“I’m done hiding.” God, her voice sounded rusty.
Quinn slid an arm around her while Ever grabbed Jayna’s cybernetic hand—Ever’s own fingers were cybernetic as well—and she squeezed.
Jayna knew making the decision to heal and move forward was only the first step, but she was taking it.
“We knew you just needed time,” Quinn murmured.
Yes, and a ruthless, hard cyborg to give her a push.
Mace strode down the corridor, walking beside Magnus. Jax flanked the imperator on the other side.
“Did you check on the injured children from the starship crash?” Magnus’ voice was deep, cool, and commanding. A collision at Carthago’s spaceport had resulted in a few injuries.
“Yes,” Jax replied. “One needs a new arm, and Avarn has scheduled it.”
Magnus nodded. “And those you rescued from Gosht?” This time, the imperator glanced at Mace, his cybernetic eye glowing neon blue.
Mace grunted. “Recovering from their surgeries.” He’d been in to check on them earlier, and to take a small toy to the female child.
“Good,” Magnus said. “Weapons shipments?”
“All on schedule,” Mace replied. “Except Maxon’s latest batch of swords is delayed.” Mace grunted. “He made a set, but wasn’t happy with the quality.”
