by Erin Trejo
“You heard that didn’t you?” she looks into my eyes with her wide ones.
“Probably a cat,” I try to reassure her but she isn’t going for it.
“A cat my ass! It was him. Creepy rail killer. We should leave. I’ve seen Ghost Hunters, Cross. If it touches one of us, oh hell! Yep, we need to go!” In a matter of seconds Dani is out the door as I laugh and follow behind her. She doesn’t stop until we get back to the little shops on the town square. We walk around in silence but I keep taking her in. Her beauty, her attitude. Everything about her. Dani looks genuinely happy as she gazes into shop windows. She stops at one and raises her hand to touch the glass as I stand back and watch.
“You okay?” I ask when I see the smile on her face slowly fade away. The look she has now tugs at my heart. There’s so much sadness in there and that isn’t her.
“She had a necklace like this. She was buried with it. She would tell me stories of the tree of life when I was little. I hardly remember her anymore,” she says so softly that I nearly don’t hear her. “I need to use the bathroom,” she says quickly and heads off toward the sign. I look over at the necklace of the tree in a circle before going into the store. I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing or why but it seemed like it meant something to her so I buy the fucking thing. The lady wraps it up and I slide it into the pocket of my cut before heading over and waiting for Dani to come out of the bathroom. She beams with that happiness I always see in her when she comes out.
“So, are we staying here or we leaving?” Shaking my head, this girl is a goddamn puzzle that doesn’t make sense to me.
“Thought about stayin’ but if you wanna ride we can go.”
“No! I’d love to stay here. Can we walk around a little more?” I nod my head and that seems to make her happy. I follow along when she heads into another store and grabs at the first thing she finds.
“What the fuck is that?” I ask when she puts on a pair of those glasses with the mustache.
“I mustache you a question, Cross,” she says with a laugh. I shake my head when she tosses me a pair. Holding them, I glare at her. The glasses in my hand are the kind from the fairs and shit that look like they have magnifying glasses built in.
“I ain’t wearin’ this shit,” I tell her holding the glasses out to her. She puts her hand on her hip and stares at me with a raised eyebrow.
“Stop being so uptight, Cross! Put the glasses on,” she snaps. I do what she wants just to humor her and slide them on.
“Happy now?” I ask. Dani laughs and looks around when she spots a mirror. She drags me toward it and laughs.
“Can you see me now?” She asks through her laughter. I don’t know what comes over me but I laugh with her. We look like a bunch of dumbasses.
“Can we take a picture?” Nodding my head, I pull out the burner phone and pass it to her. She pulls up the cheap camera and snaps a million photos of us.
“We could print it if you want,” I offer although I have no fucking clue why. Dani rips the glasses from her face and throws herself into my arms. Hanging from my neck, she whispers, “Thank you for making me smile, Cross.” She lets go and heads to the front to get her pictures printed. At this moment, I realize something I never thought I would. I like being around Dani. I like having her near me and making me laugh. I’ve never felt anything like that before, but I feel it with her. Tossing the glasses back on the shelf I head outside to wait on her knowing she has enough cash from earlier to get the pictures done. I lean against the brick wall and blow out a breath. What the hell am I doing? I’m a fucking Nomad biker. I don’t have time for a happily ever after with Dani. Just because I like being around her and fucking her doesn’t mean I want to spend the rest of my fucking life with the girl. She’s annoying as all hell and rambles about random shit.
“Yet, you fuckin’ laugh and smile with her you idiot,” I ramble to myself. Dani comes out with her photos in hand and a smile on her face.
“Ready?” she nods her head and we walk back toward the hotel. I run in and check us in before passing the key to Dani.
“I’m gonna move the bike down here. Go ahead in. Room twenty-four.” Dani nods and walks toward the rooms as I spin around and head toward where I left the bike. The whole walk is filled with random thoughts of Dani. Dani laughing, the sadness I saw in her. Dani naked and waiting for me. Fuck, I need to get that shit out of my head.
Chapter 15
Dani
Everyday seems to take us further from home. Every day I feel a little more helpless. I hate being away from Shy and I don’t like that I have to rely on Cross for everything. We haven’t slept together mainly because I’ve been on my period. At least I think that’s why. Cross has been a little distant and that makes me wonder what is running through his head. We sit outside in some town in Kansas feeling the cool breeze as it blows around us.
“Can I ask you something?” I look over at Cross as he sits with his legs stretched out, a beer in his hand. He looks almost…peaceful.
“Would it stop you if I said no?” He quarks his eyebrow at me making me giggle.
“Probably not.”
“Then ask,” he says taking a long pull from his beer.
“The one night, you called me Sara. Are you married?” his hand stops halfway to his mouth before he shakes his head and lowers his beer.
“I’m not married.” Silence. That’s all I get? I’m not married and then silence? What the hell? Who does that?
“Girlfriend? Fiancé?” Cross doesn’t respond. He sets his beer down and shoves himself off the grass and starts to walk away. Oh that is just wrong! I leap off the ground and stomp behind him.
“Don’t walk away! You fucked me! You slept with me and called me some other girls name!” Cross stops and turns to face me, anger dancing across his face.
“How many times did I fuck you since I called you that? Huh? I didn’t hear you complain!”
“That’s not fair!”
“Life’s not fair, Dani. Why the fuck do you think we’re in this mess?” He snaps, his eyes on fire.
“You cared about her.” Cross runs his hand through his hair, tugging slightly.
“It was a long time ago. Doesn’t matter anymore.” He turns to walk away but I saw that sadness in his eyes. That’s a sight that I never thought I’d see with him. Stomping after him, I grab his arm and spin him around to face me. Cross reaches up and grabs me around the throat pushing me against a tree. His breathing is sporadic and his eyes are wild. Maybe I pushed him too far.
“She was my life and you know what happened? She fuckin’ died for bein’ a part of my life. I’m a Nomad, Dani. That means I travel all the time. I tried to change that and settle down once and my past caught up with me. It got to her! She fuckin’ died because of shit I did! I dealt in a lot of drugs and she got hooked. That what you want to hear? She overdosed.” I can feel the pain in his words and my heart breaks a little more. His hand slowly lowers from my neck as I look up at him.
“She loved you, Cross.”
“Yeah, like your mom loved you Dani but what the fuck does that get us? Huh? It leaves us fucked up and useless to others! It leaves us in a position that doesn’t allow us to have the things we want in life. We move each day just tryin’ to keep busy and keep our minds on anything but the fact that we’re fucked up!” Cross breathes heavily but he doesn’t step back.
“You have a sad way of looking at life, Cross.”
“Shouldn’t I?” he challenges me.
“No. you should look at all the positive things in life, Cross. You have people that care about you.”
“No, I have people that need me, Dani. There’s a fuckin’ difference but you’re just too goddamn blind to see that!” Cross turns on his heel and storms off leaving me to think over what he said. He had love. He had someone that he cared about and that cared about him. I’m nothing to him. The reality slams into me as I gather the blanket and carry it back to the hotel. The door is left partially open
so I push it and walk inside. Cross sits on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands, tension coiling his muscles. Tossing the blanket on the chair I climb on the bed behind him. My hands come to rest on his shoulders, slowly massaging the anger and tension from him.
“I’ve debated sayin’ this to you. I’m no good, Dani and I know it but I like you,” he says with his voice low. My stomach trembles because he left that sentence hanging in the air.
“I like you too, Cross. I told you not to fall in love with me.” Cross let’s out a deep rumbling laugh that hits me in the chest like a freight train.
“I can’t fall in love, Dani. It’s not worth losin’ it all again.” My heart officially crumbles and falls to the floor. My hands stop moving and we both just sit in silence.
“When would it be worth it?” I ask needing him to say the damn words. I need him to let me down and push me away. I need this from him!
“Never.” Cross stands from the bed and grabs his cut, slipping it back up his arms. I watch him as I feel tears stinging my eyes. I won’t cry. I won’t because this is what I need and what I want. I can’t keep him around either. It would ruin us both. I ruined Jim when I broke up with him. It broke his heart, or so he claimed and I know I’d ruin Cross. I sit back on the bed and watch him grab his keys and cigarettes before picking up a small box. He holds it in his hands for a long time before he looks over at me. I can’t place the look in his eyes.
“This is for you. I’m sorry, Dani. Whatever you thought I could be…” He doesn’t finish as I take the box in my hand and watch him leave the room. Closing the door behind him, I sigh and look down. Carefully opening the box, my chest tightens. He bought it. He bought me the necklace like my mom had. My chest feels heavy but I know in my heart that this would never work. I climb off the bed and change my clothes, slipping into one of Cross’s t-shirts that he always lets me sleep in and climb into bed with the necklace clutched tightly in my palm. He cared enough to buy this for me. There is more to that man than I realized. And now that I’m lying here alone, I don’t know that I want to let that go.
Chapter 16
Cross
I went back to the hotel that night drunk off my ass and fucked that girl until she couldn’t speak. I treated her like shit and I can’t say that I felt bad about it. I didn’t. I know what I said to her and what she replied and that’s partially the reason I drank until shit was blurry.
“What do you mean?” I snap into the line.
“Just what I said, Cross. They’re trailin’ you.” Stone called me this morning and was freaking out.
“How the fuck does that happen? I’ve been careful with the phone and shit, Stone! How the hell would he know where to find us in this shithole town!” I’m pissed and taking it out on him, I know I am but how the fuck could he have found us? I was careful.
“Fuck if I know, brother. You need to move and let me see what I can find out. Hit a Nomad spot, yeah?” Fuck! Taking a long pull from my cigarette, I close my eyes. That’s the last place I want Dani.
“I’ll owe you, Stone, but get this shit sorted, yeah? I’m runnin’ around tryin’ to keep my shit together as it is. Takin’ her in there is like throwin’ her to the lions.”
“Heard that. If there was anywhere else near there, I’d send you but there’s no friendlies your way, brother. Nomad clubhouse is the best chance we have for now. You’ll be protected there,” Stone says and I know it’s true although that doesn’t mean shit for Dani. They will see her as fair game.
“I’m on it. It’s not far out from where we are. Get me when you got somethin’ solid.” Hanging the phone up, I slide it in my pocket and walk toward Dani where she leans against my bike looking at anything but me.
“We gotta move. Somehow they know we’re around here,” I tell her not missing the gasp that escaped her throat as she stands up straight.
“We all have to go sometime, right?” Crossing her arms over her chest, I shake my head. She looks away and fiddles with the radio on my bike turning on some kind of country music and dancing.
“You ready to die? By his hand? After all the shit I’ve done to keep him away from you?” Dani turns and wraps her arms around my waist, moving to the music.
“This is the best song ever,” she says excitedly as she inhales.
“Are you sniffin’ me?” I ask letting my hands rest on her waist while she keeps moving.
“You smell good. I can’t help it,” she giggles. I find myself slowly moving with her to the beat of the music. I’ve never been much of a dancer but I’ve at least tried with Sara. She would laugh at me all the time when I would step on her toes. Shaking away the memories, I don’t want to remember her in the moments I’m with Dani. Dani is a force all her own and when I’m with her I’m drawn into her world, her aura.
“I don’t want you gettin’ hurt,” I whisper into her hair. Dani squeezes me tighter as if it’s reassuring me, it isn’t.
“I’m fine, Cross. We’re fine. We have been running for weeks now and they haven’t found us.”
“Things change, darlin’. He somehow knows where we are and I need to make sure you’re safe. We’re headin’ to one of the Nomad clubhouses near here. No one will get in there but there’s another problem,” I tell her pulling away from her. Dani reaches for the radio and turns it down before looking at me.
“What kind of problem?” Damn it I don’t want to do this.
“Some of the guys there, well, they aren’t as nice as me. They get rowdy and anything with legs, they will go after.” Dani smiles brightly, resting her hand on my arm and says, “Don’t worry about me. In case you didn’t notice, I like to drink and fuck. Besides, I can handle myself. I handled you didn’t I?” Her words slice a hole right through my chest. I knew this about her and yet since we’ve been running the only one she’s been fucking is me. The idea of any other man putting his hands anywhere near her pisses me off but she’s young and deserves to be free.
“You handle me just fine. Let’s go,” I growl grabbing the helmet and sliding it on. Dani grabs hers but she stops after I climb on. I glare at her over my shoulder and wait.
“You comin’?”
“All it takes is your word, Cross.”
“All what takes? What the hell are you talkin’ about now?”
“Tell me you don’t want me sleeping with any other man and I won’t.” She’s giving me an option and I don’t know how to respond. Do I want her all to myself? Fuck yeah, I do. Should I want her all to myself? That one’s easy. No.
“Say it, Cross.” She challenges me. I can see her eyes and all that flickers within them. She doesn’t know but that turns me on more than seeing her naked.
“You think I won’t?” She shrugs her shoulder and I know she’s baiting me. Why the hell I’m letting her is the question of the day. I shouldn’t play into her fairy tale but I can’t seem to stop myself.
“I don’t want no other man touchin’ you, kissin’ you or gettin’ inside you but me.” The deep gravel tone that leaves my lips makes her smirk. She nods her head and climbs on the bike behind me, wrapping her arms around my waist.
“I should spank your ass for that shit,” I say over my shoulder. Dani runs her hand down my stomach and over my cock noticing how hard the fucker is already.
“Is that the best you got? A spank?” She squeezes and I damn near come in my jeans. This girl is killing me and she has no fucking idea.
“You want more than that? Keep temptin’ me, troublemaker.” Dani giggles as I rev up the engine and take off. Our time together is bringing her closer and I don’t know that I can handle that reality. Dani is so different and intriguing. The more time I spend with her the more I don’t think I can let her go. I know it’s for the best to let her walk away, but there is no way she could fit into my world. I’ve tried that once and it ended in Sara’s death. I can’t risk that with Dani. That’s what I think but that little voice in the back of my head keeps telling me that Dani is nothing like Sara
. They are complete opposites. They are nowhere near the same person.
Dani’s fingers move over my abs as I ride reminding me just how different they are. Our ride to the clubhouse doesn’t take us too long and as I pull into the parking lot, my insides clench. There’s a shit ton of bikes and loud music blasting already. I can feel it, this isn’t going to end well.
Chapter 17
Dani
This isn’t so bad! I don’t know what Cross was so worried about. The guys have been friendly and so have the half-dressed girls. Even the one that’s giving me make up advice along with a makeover.
“You want to look sexy so you catch their eye,” Jazz tells me. I nod my head as she applies more lipstick. I think it’s the third or fourth time she’s applied it now. I feel like I’m on the home shopping networks makeover makeup edition.
“How do you know all of this?” I ask her when she goes back to my eyes.
“Been around a long time. I saw you came in with Cross.” As soon as the name leaves her mouth, I cringe. Did she sleep with him? Who the hell cares? He told me that I was his and his only while we’re together. I shouldn’t be thinking about which other women he’s been with.
“I was never with him, calm down. He’s always so damn moody.” I nod my head agreeing with her there. Cross is always running hot and cold all at the same time. It makes me wonder how the man has any friends. Jazz pulls back and looks me over with huge grin on her face.
“You look perfect!” She claps her hands together when a man comes up behind her, grabbing her ass. She grins over her shoulder and turns pressing into him. I suppose that means our makeover is done. I hop off the stool and wander around until I find the bar. There are so many people in here that I can hardly make my way through. I don’t see Cross anywhere and for some reason that stings a little. I order drink after drink after drink until the room is spinning around me. Only then do I leap off the stool I had occupied and wander through the tangles of people. The more I move, the more hands grab on my body and it makes me uncomfortable. What the hell Dani? That’s a first!
