“Ek sê! Look at that!” Lisa’s high-pitched voice rang out.
“Do you y’all know what time it is?” The voice behind the flashlight said.
“Blast it Peter! You could have warned us,” Chad said.
“Boy, are you in trouble, Sarah. Boy are you two in trouble.” Lisa’s voice hinted of satisfaction. “I told Mum you’d be making out.”
“Don’t you tell Mum any such thing! Don’t you dare, you rat!” Sarah’s threatening tone included an unspoken promise of eternal misery if Lisa failed to abide by this command.
***
“Not one word!” Sarah reminded her sister as they returned to their campsite.
Mothers are not at all blind when it comes to their children, and Lisa did not have to say a word. Susan said, “Well, what’s this? What’s up with you two? ”
Sarah moaned. “What do you mean, Mum? There’s nothing going on. I don’t know what you mean.”
Susan gave her daughter that look all mothers give a child when they have caught them in a red-faced fib. “I’m not so blind. You do not need to hide things.”
“They’ve been kissing, Mum. Lots!” Lisa blurted out the forbidden details, unconcerned about her sister’s previous threats.
“Lisa, they’re adults. I don’t need details. You, young lady just mind your own business. And as for you two, it’s about time you stopped pretending.”
“What?” Sarah muttered.
“A mother sees these things.”
Sarah replied, “Well, there’s not been anything to see until now.”
Susan smiled and poured two cups of tea, “Who are you kidding?”
“Do you think Dad suspects anything?”
“Nooo. Your dad chooses not to notice these things. In his eyes, you’re still his little princess.”
“He’ll kill you both! He will!” Lisa declared.
Susan said, “Lisa! Don’t exaggerate. He cares for you a lot, Chad. He cares a lot for both you and Peter. But Sarah, just keep it low key. You are adults, and it’s your business, but for your own sakes, don’t rush things. You know how your father—”
“I know, Mum. I know how Dad will react.”
“And you will have to deal with that Phillip. It’s only fair to tell him, dear.”
“Mum! Please! That’s long finished anyway.”
“Philip does not appear to think so. And does Chad know about—”
“Yes, Mum. It’s taken care of. It’s not a problem, Mum.”
Lisa gloated. “He threw an ugly fit the last time you tried to dump him. He punched that hole in the wall at Jackson‘s. I wish I’d been there to see that. That’s why she told him there – where she thought she’d be safe.”
Sarah leaned over and slapped Lisa on back of the head. “Shuuut up!”
Susan ignored the sibling rivalry and said, “Don’t let Philip worry you, Chad. He is one to throw a fit – loud and intimidating, nothing more. He does have a temper, and that is why I never liked him. Sarah. I always thought he was too much like your father … in some ways.”
Sarah stood up, “Ag nee man! I’m going to fix some cocoa and go to bed.”
***
For the next few days, the stranded campers embraced a strange serenity – a forgotten sense of normality. They had time and energy to observe rare shades of orange, purple, and red intermingling as the colossal African sun conquered the western horizon. Late into the evenings, they sat content under a canopy of stars, planets, and constellations that silently declare human beings are finite and the majesty of the universe will never fade. They arose from their nights’ sleep refreshed enough to enjoy the sweet songs of exotic birds, inviting the dawn to take charge.
During the next two days, Sarah and Chad spent every moment they had exploring the potential of what could be and what would be. They immersed themselves in one another, allowing emotions they had so carefully restrained the freedom to burst into a wondrous and frightful love.
Overshadowing their newly discovered freedom was Susan’s edict, “When your dad gets back, you’ll have to keep things under the covers. Um, I didn’t mean that. I mean under wraps. Oh, you know what I mean! Just tell him later. We should just keep the peace when he returns.”
Chad chuckled at the statement. “Don’t worry, we’ll put the brakes on. We’ll park it in the garage when he gets back.”
Susan frowned at Chad’s remark.
Chad said, “Not to worry, it’ll be fine.” Chad felt distinct irritation at Susan’s mandate to pretend for the sake of the family, but he understood that love demanded that he respect this insane demand.
***
Peter sat with Susan having morning coffee, watching the dawn usher in a new day.
Susan said with some resignation in her voice, “He’ll be back today. I have a feeling.”
“That’s good. That’d be good.”
“Yes.” Susan’s tone offered no such confidence.
Peter decided she was looking for permission to say more. “It has been kind of peaceful …um …”
“Without him?”
“Yeah. No. I’m sorry that sounds a bit rude. It’s—”
“No, it’s not rude at all. Peter, you don’t know. You just do not know how hard it is. I try to keep the peace. I try to keep the children out of it.” She paused and took a deep breath, then sighed. “I’m tired. I’m very, very tired, Peter.” She tossed the dregs of her coffee on the campfire and shook her head. Then, with an upbeat tone, said, “Thanks for coming with us. It has been wonderful. It has. I hope it hasn’t been too … too awkward for you.”
“Oh no. It’s been fun. It’s been good ... great, really. Thanks for having us.” Peter laughed. “And it worked out great for Chad, I guess.”
“Indeed. That worries me as well, but I knew it was coming. A mother just knows. And it is a good thing. But Johan is so possessive of this family, especially of Sarah. He must learn to let go, and he will in time.” Susan paused. Her eyes watered, and her voice quivered. Peter sensed a hidden disgust underneath her tone as she continued, “He makes it so hard. Sometimes I hate him. I love him to death, don’t get me wrong. But I really hate him sometimes. Peter, I don’t know what to do with that Johan. I don’t know what to do with him.”
Peter started, then hesitated before he decided he should say it. “Have you ever … ever thought of—?”
“Leaving him? Never. Murder? Countless times. Most days, in fact.” Susan composed herself and with a determined voice continued, “Peter, it’s my call, my promise, to see it through. That’s all that matters, to see it through. Then I can slowly fade away, wrinkled and worn out. Then I will gloat on my grandchildren. Johan will be there, content with the love he’s been afraid of for so long. Then life will be good, very good. But … but it is good now. It is. It is not perfect, dear Peter, but it is good. And what did you say? Bad moments will come, but we must embrace the good moments, the good times. We have to cherish the good and the goodness that life does bestow on us.”
CHAPTER 19
All Hell Breaks Loose
Sadie did return by lunchtime. Johan gave everyone a huge bear hug and declared, “Ay! I so missed each one of you. Ja. It is good to be back. We shall now get back to having a grand holiday.”
After lunch, he relived the antics of the past few days: how the wrong parts had been sent and returned twice; how he had to instruct the grease monkeys how to do their jobs; and how he embarrassed the garage owner in an all-night poker game (in the end, his winnings were fifty rand shy of the total bill.)
Johan vowed to spend the evening with his family and guests. He dutifully declined an offer to join two Afrikaner families he had partied with before. Their reveling began early and intensified as the evening wore on. Johan tried to ignore the loud music, intrusive bantering, and bursts of laughter and obscenities. He noted several times how annoying those families were.
Obnoxious outbursts increased, and the partiers’ chatter
became loud enough and clear enough to decipher specific words. Johan expressed disgust that his daughters had to hear such language.
Fellow campers began to complain. Several times, two or three campers approached the offenders with requests to “Keep it down, please.”
Each request met with indignation. “We’re just having a good time, and we don’t fucking care what you think!”
At eleven thirty p.m., Susan became fearful of irate campers planning a full-blown assault. She made a decision she knew she would regret, but she felt she had no choice. “Johan, you’re the only one who can deal with these infernal intoxicated Boers. You should go and deal with them, get them to listen to reason. You’re the only one they will respect. But please come back soon.”
Johan said, “You’re right. Don’t worry. I’ll be back now now. You have some cocoa ready, eh?”
Five minutes later, peace prevailed, with only the occasional outburst of laughter marking another coarse joke. By twelve thirty a.m., though, Johan had not returned, and Susan decided she would have to retrieve him. Halfway there, she could see an all-night poker party was in full swing. He’s beyond redemption. Attempting to drag him back to the family would be a guaranteed disaster and utter nonsense. She turned around and returned to the campsite. She told the others not to expect Johan anytime soon and curtly commanded all to go to bed before she disappeared into the kombi.
Peter popped his head into the kombi. “He’ll be fine, Susan. Please don’t worry about it.”
Susan shook her head. “We don’t know what tomorrow will bring. If he wins a bit of money, he’ll take a nap, sober up, and we’ll head out for the last day of searching out Africa’s wild life. If he loses money, God forbid, he will refuse to take a nap and will order everyone around. We’ll take take a quick trip around Kruger, return as early as possible, and he will join his mates for dop and demand a chance to win his money back. Peter, pray he wins a bit of money. But … well, be prepared in case he doesn’t.”
***
At one a.m., Chad found himself suffering from insomnia. His heart and soul yearned for a few moments with Sarah. He felt he had lost a day with her, and was determined to make up for it. He unzipped the flap to Sarah and Lisa’s tent, crawled in, and whispered, “Shhh. Lisa, go sleep in my tent. Don’t wake Peter. Just go sleep in my tent for a while.”
“Eish! Flip! Are you out of your mind?” Sarah muttered, half asleep.
“Get out of here now!” Lisa demanded. “Sarah, get him out of our tent, or I’m going to scream.”
Chad crawled further into the tent. “Shhh! I’ll give you twenty rand. Twenty rand! Just go in my tent for a bit.”
Sarah spoke clear and confidently. “Go, Lisa. I’ll give you another twenty rand if you get out of here and shut up about this forever. Forever! You understand? Go!”
“When? When do I get my money?”
“When we get home – but never if you don’t get out of here right now!”
***
Peter saw a blurred figure crawling into the tent.
“Are you awake, Peter? Are you?”
“Shit! Damn it, Lisa, what the hell are you doing? Get out of here! You’re in the wrong tent. Where’s Chad?”
Lisa laughed. “Where do you think? I’m staying here. Unless you can pay me fifty rand, you’re stuck with me for the night.”
“Ag man. Is that what Chad offered you? He doesn’t even have fifty rand. Don’t trust him.”
“They’ll pay. I tell everything if they don’t.”
“God, I don’t believe this. I’ll kill him. I will. Just be quiet and go to sleep. If your dad finds out we’ll all die a slow and horrific death. Geez! I don’t believe this.”
Lisa climbed into Chad’s sleeping bag. She waited until Peter calmed down, and then whispered, “Peter, do you think a guy will ever love me?”
Peter ignored the question.
“Peter, do you think anyone will ever care about me, love me? I don’t think anyone ever will.”
“Geez, Lisa. What’s up with you? Just be quiet and go to sleep.”
“No. I’m serious. Sarah’s so pretty. She always had guys chasing her. No one ever looks at me. I hate being the ugly sister.” Lisa turned her back and began to cry.
“Oh my God! Don’t cry. What’s going on with you? Good God. Just go to sleep.”
She continued to cry.
“All right, Lisa. The truth is ... well, there are plenty of boys pining for you.”
“Really? Who?”
“I can’t say.”
Still sniffling, Lisa whined, “That’s because you’re lying. You’re just saying that to be nice or to get me to shut up.”
“All right. Kevin. What’s his name? Kevin Berlet.”
“Peter! God! No! You just proved my point. God, everyone hates him.”
“Why? What’s wrong with Kevin?
“He’s fat and dumb and he looks like a turtle. That’s why they call him ‘Snaps.’ See ... there’s no one for me unless I settle for someone like that.”
“That’s not true. You’re a cute girl, Lisa.”
“Cute? Cute! Who wants to be cute? I want to be pretty like Sarah. I hate her sometimes.”
“You two are different, and that’s okay. Look, Lisa, Sarah is pretty enough, but I prefer cute. I don’t care for pretty girls. Give me a cute one any day. You’re cute, and you should flaunt it. A lot of guys are looking for cute.”
“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard, Peter.”
“Dumb or not, it’s true. We’re not all pretty people in this world. I don’t want to be one of those anyway, most of them aren’t real. Most of them are—”
“Gomgats” Lisa said.
“Yeah, I guess you could call it that. I was going say full of shit. Take Chad, for instance. He’s completely full of crap, full of himself.”
“Does that mean Sarah’s full of kak, Peter? I’ll tell her you said that.”
“No. Sarah’s different.”
Lisa sat up. “Is that why you love Cindy? ’Cause she’s cute?”
“What’d you mean? I don’t love her! I don’t like her – not like that I mean. Cindy’s … she’s cute, but she’s just a friend, just a good friend.”
“But you two hold hands. You cuddle. That’s not just friends.”
“Well, I don’t care what you think. We’re just friends, and that’s all we’ll ever be,” Peter said with growing discomfort in his voice.
Lisa moved her face close to his. “Well, we’re friends, aren’t we? So hold my hand and cuddle with me tonight.”
“Sis! Hell no! It’s not like that. Get away.”
Lisa lay back down and laughed. “See? So admit it. You and Cindy are more than friends.”
“I suppose it’s a little more than that, but I don’t want to talk about it, and really, it’s none of your business. Okay?”
Lisa sat up in the sleeping bag. “So Kevin’s the only one? That’s disgusting!” Her voice became loud and indignant.
“There are others.”
“Name one.”
“Um, there’s Bobby.”
Declaring more indignation and louder, she said, “Oh my God! Nooo! He stinks. He never takes showers. NOOO! Sis! That’s disgusting, Peter! That’s horrible! Sis!”
“Goddamn you, Peter! Goddamn you! You are a dead man!”
The muffled voice exploded from outside the tent just before Peter’s sleeping bag was yanked out from under him. He lay stunned for a fraction of a second before he felt his ankles clamped, then his legs flew up. In one swoop, he was out of the tent. Peter felt a punch to his face, followed by another landing square on his left temple. Peter kicked his legs, pushing himself back a few feet. Only then did he see who it was. Johan grabbed his ankles again, pulled him back under his legs, and cocked his arm. With slurred speech and spit landing on Peter’s face, Johan declared, “You, my Yankee friend, are about leave this goddamn world!” Johan drew his right arm back to st
rike again, but he tumbled to the ground before he could land the blow.
Peter had to squint to see Chad standing over Johan. Chad shouted, “You better hit me! Beat me up! I am the one. I’m the one! I’ve been in Sarah’s tent. I love her. I love Sarah. You better deal with that, dronkie.”
Johan wobbled as he stood up. He stared at Chad, confused. He looked down at Peter and brandished an embarrassed and foolish grin. Without warning, he spun around and swung his right arm at full force, barely missing Chad, his arm wrapped around his own body.
Chad took a step forward and struck Johan on the right jaw. Johan hit the dirt with a thud. Chad straddled the dazed drunk and swung with adrenaline-charged fury: once, twice, three, four, five, six times. It took the strength of Peter and three other men to wrestle Chad off his girlfriend’s father.
Susan helped an unsteady Johan to his feet. He muttered several obscenities as she escorted him to the kombi, where he collapsed with bloody lips, a bloody nose, bruised ribs, and an already fuzzy memory of what just happened.
Chad shook off those restraining him and disappeared into the dark. He said later that he did not remember anything that happened after he told Johan he loved Sarah, but that was a lie. He did remember. He remembered seeing and hearing his own father behind that drunken man’s eyes – his own father coming at him with words, with fists, with disdain. He remembered striking Johan’s face six times, wishing it were his father’s face. He remembered thinking, This is what a father like this deserves. He remembered everything in vivid detail.
The others returned to their tents. They all pretended to sleep and silently wondered what had just happened and what would happen next.
***
Silence permeated the van during the drive home: no jokes, no teasing, no apologies, no explanations, and no acknowledgement – nothing.
After two hours of hearing only the rattles of the rickety kombi, Chad decided something should be said. He would set aside pride and offer an olive branch in hopes of soothing the damage that he knew threatened the future that had only begun a few nights earlier. He made his way to the front of the van. “About last night … I’m really sorry. I… I don’t know what got into me. Johan, I—”
Johan glanced at him and smiled. “Ag nee. That is forgotten, my boy.”
The Smoke That Thunders Page 18
