Produced by Greg Weeks, V. L. Simpson, Bruce Albrecht andthe Online Distributed Proofreading Team athttps://www.pgdp.net
THE PIRATES OF ERSATZ
BY MURRAY LEINSTER
_Sometimes it seems nobody loves a benefactor ... particularly nobody on a well-heeled, self-satisfied planet. Grandpa always said Pirates were really benefactors, though...._
Illustrated by Freas
I
It was not mere impulsive action when Bron Hoddan started for the planetWalden by stowing away on a ship that had come to his native planet tohang all his relatives. He'd planned it long before. It was along-cherished and carefully worked out scheme. He didn't expect thehanging of his relatives, of course. He knew that they'd act grieved andinnocent, and give proof that they were simple people leading blamelesslives. They'd make their would-be executioners feel ashamed andapologetic for having thought evil of them, and as soon as the strangersleft they'd return to their normal way of life, which was piracy. Butwhile this was going on, Bron Hoddan stowed away on the menacing vessel.Presently he arrived at its home world. But his ambition was to reachWalden, so he set about getting there. It took a long time because hehad to earn ship-passage from one solar system to another, but he heldto his idea. Walden was the most civilized planet in that part of thegalaxy. On Walden, Hoddan intended, in order (a) to achieve splendidthings as an electronic engineer, (b) to grow satisfactorily rich, (c)to marry a delightful girl, and (d) end his life a great man. But he hadto spend two years trying to arrange even the first.
On the night before the police broke in the door of his room, though,accomplishment seemed imminent. He went to bed and slept soundly. He wascalmly sure that his ambitions were about to be realized. At practicallyany instant his brilliance would be discovered and he'd be well-to-do,his friend Derec would admire him, and even Nedda would probably decideto marry him right away. She was the delightful girl. Such prospectsmade for good sleeping.
And Walden was a fine world to be sleeping on. Outside the capital cityits spaceport received shipments of luxuries and raw materials fromhalfway across the galaxy. Its landing grid reared skyward and tappedthe planet's ionosphere for power with which to hoist ships to clearspace and pluck down others from emptiness. There was commerce andmanufacture and wealth and culture, and Walden modestly admitted thatits standard of living was the highest in the Nurmi Cluster. Itscitizens had no reason to worry about anything but a supply oftranquilizers to enable them to stand the boredom of their lives.
Even Hoddan was satisfied, as of the moment. On his native planet therewasn't even a landing grid. The few, battered, cobbled ships theinhabitants owned had to take off precariously on rockets. They cameback blackened and sometimes more battered still, and sometimes theywere accompanied by great hulls whose crews and passengers weremysteriously missing. These extra ships had to be landed on theiremergency rockets, and, of course, couldn't take off again, but theyalways vanished quickly just the same. And the people of Zan, on whichHoddan had been born, always affected innocent indignation whenembattled other spacecraft came and furiously demanded that they beproduced.
There were some people who said that all the inhabitants of Zan werespace pirates and ought to be hung and compared with such a planet,Walden seemed a very fine place indeed. So on a certain night BronHoddan went confidently to bed and slept soundly until three hours aftersunrise. Then the police broke in his door.
* * * * *
They made a tremendous crash in doing it, but they were in great haste.The noise waked Hoddan, and he blinked his eyes open. Before he couldstir, four uniformed men grabbed him and dragged him out of bed. Theysearched him frantically for anything like a weapon. Then they stood himagainst a wall with two stun-pistols on him, and the main body of copsbegan to tear his room apart, looking for something he could not guess.Then his friend Derec came hesitantly in the door and looked at himremorsefully. He wrung his hands.
"I had to do it, Bron," he said agitatedly. "I couldn't help doing it!"
Hoddan blinked at him. He was dazed. Things didn't become clearer whenhe saw that a cop had slit open his pillow and was sifting its contentsthrough his fingers. Another cop was ripping the seams of his mattressto look inside. Somebody else was going carefully through a little pileof notes that Nedda had written, squinting at them as if he were afraidof seeing something he'd wish he hadn't.
"What's happened?" asked Hoddan blankly. "What's this about?"
Derec said miserably:
"You killed someone, Bron. An innocent man! You didn't mean to, but youdid, and ... it's terrible!"
"Me kill somebody? That's ridiculous!" protested Hoddan.
"They found him outside the powerhouse," said Derec bitterly. "Outsidethe Mid-Continent station that you--"
"Mid-Continent? Oh!" Hoddan was relieved. It was amazing how much he wasrelieved. He'd had an unbelieving fear for a moment that somebody mighthave found out he'd been born and raised on Zan--which would have ruinedeverything. It was almost impossible to imagine, but still it was agreat relief to find out he was only suspected of a murder he hadn'tcommitted. And he was only suspected because his first great achievementas an electronic engineer had been discovered. "They found the thing atMid-Continent, eh? But I didn't kill anybody. And there's no harm done.The thing's been running two weeks, now. I was going to the Power Boardin a couple of days." He addressed the police. "I know what's up, now,"he said. "Give me some clothes and let's go get this straightened out."
A cop waved a stun-pistol at him.
"One word out of line, and--_pfft!_"
"Don't talk, Bron!" said Derec in panic. "Just keep quiet! It's badenough! Don't make it worse!"
A cop handed Hoddan a garment. He put it on. He became aware that thecop was scared. So was Derec. Everybody in the room was scared excepthimself. Hoddan found himself incredulous. People didn't act this way onsuper-civilized, highest-peak-of-culture Walden.
"Who'd I kill?" he demanded. "And why?"
"You wouldn't know him, Bron," said Derec mournfully. "You didn't meanto do murder. But it's only luck that you killed only him instead ofeverybody!"
"Everybody--" Hoddan stared.
"No more talk!" snapped the nearest cop. His teeth were chattering."Keep quiet or else!"
Hoddan shut up. He watched--dressing the while as his clothing wasinspected and then handed to him--while the cops completed theexamination of his room. They were insanely thorough, though Hoddanhadn't the least idea what they might be looking for. When they began torip up the floor and pull down the walls, the other cops led himoutside.
* * * * *
There was a fleet of police trucks in the shaded street outdoors. Theypiled him in one, and four cops climbed after him, keeping stun-pistolstrained on him during the maneuver. Out of the corner of his eye he sawDerec climbing into another truck. The entire fleet sped away together.The whole affair had been taken with enormous seriousness by the police.Traffic was detoured from their route. When they swung up on an elevatedexpressway, with raised-up trees on either side, there was no othervehicle in sight. They raced on downtown.
They rolled off the expressway. They rolled down a cleared avenue.Hoddan recognized the Detention Building. Its gate swung wide. The truckhe rode in went inside. The gate closed. The other trucks wentaway--rapidly. Hoddan alighted and saw that the grim gray wall of thecourtyard had a surprising number of guards mustered to sweep the openspace with gunfire if anybody made a suspicious movement.
He shook his head. Nobody had mentioned Zan, so this simply didn't makesense. His conscience was wholly clear except about his native planet.This was insanity! He went curiously into the building and into thehearing room
. His guards, there, surrendered him to courtroom guards andwent away with almost hysterical haste. Nobody wanted to be near him.
Hoddan stared about. The courtroom was highly informal. The justice satat an ordinary desk. There were comfortable chairs. The air was clean.The atmosphere was that of a conference room in which reasonable mencould discuss differences of opinion in calm leisure. Only on a worldlike Walden would a prisoner brought in by police be dealt with in suchsurroundings.
Derec came in by another door, with a man Hoddan recognized as theattorney who'd represented Nedda's father in certain past interviews.There'd been no mention of Nedda as toying with the thought of marryingHoddan then, of course. It had been strictly business. Nedda's fatherwas Chairman of the Power Board, a director of the Planetary Associationof Manufacturers, a committeeman of the Banker's League, and otherimportant things. Hoddan had been thrown out of his offices severaltimes. He now scowled ungraciously at the lawyer who had ordered himthrown out. He saw Derec wringing his hands.
An agitated man in court uniform came to his side.
"I'm the Citizen's Representative," he said uneasily. "I'm to look afteryour interests. Do you want a personal lawyer?"
"Why?" asked Hoddan. He felt splendidly confident.
"The charges-- Do you wish a psychiatric examination--claiming noresponsibility?" asked the Representative anxiously. "It might ... itmight really be best--"
"I'm not crazy," said Hoddan, "though this looks like it."
The Citizen's Representative spoke to the justice.
"Sir, the accused waives psychiatric examination, without prejudice to alater claim of no responsibility."
Nedda's father's attorney watched with bland eyes. Hoddan saidimpatiently:
"Let's get started so this will make some sense! I know what I've done.What monstrous crime am I charged with?"
"The charges against you," said the justice politely, "are that on thenight of Three Twenty-seven last, you, Bron Hoddan, entered thefenced-in grounds surrounding the Mid-Continent power receptor station.It is charged that you passed two no-admittance signs. You arrived at adoor marked 'Authorized Personnel Only.' You broke the lock of thatdoor. Inside, you smashed the power receptor taking broadcast power fromthe air. This power receptor converts broadcast power for industrialunits by which two hundred thousand men are employed. You smashed thereceptor, imperiling their employment." The justice paused. "Do you wishto challenge any of these charges as contrary to fact?"
The Citizen's Representative said hurriedly:
"You have the right to deny any of them, of course."
"Why should I?" asked Hoddan. "I did them! But what's this about mekilling somebody? Why'd they tear my place apart looking for something?Who'd I kill, anyhow?"
"Don't bring that up!" pleaded the Citizen's Representative. "Pleasedon't bring that up! You will be much, much better off if that is notmentioned!"
"But I didn't kill anybody!" insisted Hoddan.
"Nobody's said a word about it," said the Citizen's Representative,jittering. "Let's not have it in the record! The record has to bepublished." He turned to the justice. "Sir, the facts are conceded asstated."
"Then," said the justice to Hoddan, "do you choose to answer thesecharges at this time?"
"Why not?" asked Hoddan. "Of course!"
"Proceed," said the justice.
* * * * *
Hoddan drew a deep breath. He didn't understand why a man's death,charged to him, was not mentioned. He didn't like the scared wayeverybody looked at him. But--
"About the burglary business," he said confidently. "What did I do inthe power station before I smashed the receptor?"
The justice looked at Nedda's father's attorney.
"Why," said that gentleman amiably, "speaking for the Power Board ascomplainant, before you smashed the standard receptor you connected adevice of your own design across the power-leads. It was a receptor unitof an apparently original pattern. It appears to have been a veryinteresting device."
"I'd offered it to the Power Board," said Hoddan, with satisfaction,"and I was thrown out. You had me thrown out! What did it do?"
"It substituted for the receptor you smashed," said the attorney. "Itcontinued to supply some two hundred million kilowatts for theMid-Continent industrial area. In fact, your crime was only discoveredbecause the original receptor--naturally--had to be set to draw peakpower at all times, with the unused power wasted by burning carbon. Yourdevice adjusted to the load and did not burn carbon. So when theattendants went to replace the supposedly burned carbon and found itunused, they discovered what you had done."
"It saved carbon, then," said Hoddan triumphantly. "That means it savedmoney. I saved the Power Board plenty while that was connected. Theywouldn't believe I could. Now they know. I did!"
The justice said:
"Irrelevant. You have heard the charges. In legal terms, you are chargedwith burglary, trespass, breaking and entering, unlawful entry,malicious mischief, breach of the peace, sabotage, and endangering theemployment of citizens. Discuss the charges, please!"
"I'm telling you!" protested Hoddan. "I offered the thing to the PowerBoard. They said they were satisfied with what they had and wouldn'tlisten. So I proved what they wouldn't listen to! That receptor savedthem ten thousand credits worth of carbon a week! It'll save half amillion credits a year in every power station that uses it! If I knowthe Power Board, they're going right on using it while they arrest mefor putting it to work!"
The courtroom, in its entirety, visibly shivered.
"Aren't they?" demanded Hoddan belligerently.
"They are not," said the justice, tight-lipped. "It has been smashed inits turn. It has even been melted down."
"Then look at my patents!" insisted Hoddan. "It's stupid--"
"The patent records," said the justice with unnecessary vehemence, "havebeen destroyed. Your possessions have been searched for copies. Nobodywill ever look at your drawings again--not if they are wise!"
"Wha-a-at?" demanded Hoddan incredulously. "Wha-a-at?"
"I will amend the record of this hearing before it is published," saidthe justice shakily. "I should not have made that comment. I askpermission of the Citizen's Representative to amend."
"Granted," said the Representative before he had finished.
The justice said quickly:
"The-charges-have-been-admitted-by-the-defendant.Since-the-complainant-does-not-wish-punitive-action-taken-against-him--"
"He'd be silly if he did," grunted Hoddan.
"And-merely-wishes-security-against-repetition-of-the-offense,I-rule-that-the-defendant-may-be-released-upon-posting-suitable-bond-for-good-behavior-in-the-future. That-is, he-will-be-required-to-post-bond-which-will-be-forfeited-if-he-ever-again-enters-a-power-station-enclosure-passes-no-trespassing-signs-ignores-no-admittance-signs-and/or-smashes-apparatus-belonging-to-the-complainant."
"All right," said Hoddan indignantly. "I'll raise it somehow. If they'retoo stupid to save money-- How much bond?"
"The-court-will-take-it-under-advisement-and-will-notify-the-defendant-within-the-customary-two-hours," said the justice at top speed. Heswallowed. "The-defendant-will-be-kept-in-close-confinement-until-the-bond-is-posted. The-hearing-is-ended."
He did not look at Hoddan. Courtroom guards put stun-pistols againstHoddan's body and ushered him out.
* * * * *
Presently his friend Derec came to see him in the tool-steel cell inwhich he had been placed. Derec looked white and stricken.
"I'm in trouble because I'm your friend, Bron," he said miserably, "butI asked permission to explain things to you. After all, I caused yourarrest. I urged you not to connect up your receptor without permission!"
"I know," growled Hoddan, "but there are some people so stupid you haveto show them everything. I didn't realize that there are people sostupid you can't show them anything."
"You ... showed something you didn't intend," said
Derec miserably."Bron, I ... I have to tell you. When they went to charge the carbonbins at the power station, they ... they found a dead man, Bron!"
Hoddan sat up.
"What's that?"
"Your machine--killed him. He was outside the building at the foot of atree. Your receptor killed him through a stone wall! It broke his bonesand killed him.... Bron--" Derec wrung his hands. "At some stage ofpower-drain your receptor makes deathrays!"
Hoddan had had a good many shocks today. When Derec arrived, he'd beenincredulously comparing the treatment he'd received and the panic abouthim, with the charges made against him in court. They didn't add up.This new, previously undisclosed item left him speechless. He goggled atDerec, who fairly wept.
"Don't you see?" asked Derec pleadingly. "That's why I had to tell thepolice it was you. We can't have deathrays! The police can't let anybodygo free who knows how to make them! This is a wonderful world, but thereare lots of crackpots. They'll do anything! The police daren't let iteven be suspected that deathrays can be made! That's why you weren'tcharged with murder. People all over the planet would start doingresearch, hoping to satisfy all their grudges by committing suicide forall their enemies with themselves! For the sake of civilization yoursecret has to be suppressed--and you with it. It's terrible for you,Bron, but there's nothing else to do!"
Hoddan said dazedly:
"But I only have to put up a bond to be released!"
"The ... the justice," said Derec tearfully, "didn't name it in court,because it would have to be published. But he's set your bond at fiftymillion credits! Nobody could raise that for you, Bron! And with thereason for it what it is, you'll never be able to get it reduced."
"But anybody who looks at the plans of the receptor will know it can'tmake deathrays!" protested Hoddan blankly.
"Nobody will look," said Derec tearfully. "Anybody who knows how to makeit will have to be locked up. They checked the patent examiners. They'veforgotten. Nobody dared examine the device you had working. They'd bejailed if they understood it! Nobody will ever risk learning how to makedeathrays--not on a world as civilized as this, with so many peopleanxious to kill everybody else. You have to be locked up forever, Bron.You have to!"
Hoddan said inadequately:
"Oh."
"I beg your forgiveness for having you arrested," said Derec in abysmalsorrow, "but I couldn't do anything but tell--"
Hoddan stared at his cell wall. Derec went away weeping. He was anadmirable, honorable, not-too-bright young man who had been Hoddan'sonly friend.
Hoddan stared blankly at nothing. As an event, it was preposterous, andyet it was wholly natural. When in the course of human events somebodydoes something that puts somebody else to the trouble of adjusting thenumb routine of his life, the adjustee is resentful. The richer he isand the more satisfactory he considers his life, the more resentful heis at any change, however minute. And of all the changes which offendpeople, changes which require them to think are most disliked.
The high brass in the Power Board considered that everything was movingsmoothly. There was no need to consider new devices. Hoddan's drawingsand plans had simply never been bothered with, because there was norecognized need for them. And when he forced acknowledgment that hisreceptor worked, the unwelcome demonstration was highly offensive initself. It was natural, it was inevitable, it should have beeninfallibly certain that any possible excuse for not thinking about thereceptor would be seized upon. And a single dead man found near theoperating demonstrator.... If one assumed that the demonstrator hadkilled him,--why one could react emotionally, feel vast indignation,frantically command that the device and its inventor be suppressedtogether, and go on living happily without doing any thinking or makingany other change in anything at all.
Hoddan was appalled. Now that it had happened, he could see that it hadto. The world of Walden was at the very peak of human culture. It hadarrived at so splendid a plane of civilization that nobody could imagineany improvement--unless a better tranquilizer could be designed to makeit more endurable. Nobody ever really wants anything he didn't think offor himself. Nobody can want anything he doesn't know exists--or that hecan't imagine to exist. On Walden nobody wanted anything, unless it wasrelief from the tedium of ultra-civilized life. Hoddan's electronicdevice did not fill a human need; only a technical one. It had,therefore, no value that would make anybody hospitable to it.
And Hoddan would spend his life in jail for failing to recognize thefact.
He revolted, immediately. _He_ wanted something! He wanted out. Andbecause he was that kind of man he put his mind to work devisingsomething he wanted, simply and directly, without trying to get it byfurnishing other people with what they turned out not to want. He setabout designing his escape. With his enforced change in viewpoint, hetook the view that he must seem, at least, to give his captors andjailers and--as he saw it--his persecutors what they wanted.
They would be pleased to have him dead, provided their consciences wereclear. He built on that as a foundation.
* * * * *
Very shortly before nightfall he performed certain cryptic actions. Heunraveled threads from his shirt and put them aside. There would be avision-lens in the ceiling of his cell, and somebody would certainlynotice what he did. He made a light. He put the threads in his mouth,set fire to his mattress, and laid down calmly upon it. The mattress wasof excellent quality. It would smell very badly as it smoldered.
It did. Lying flat, he kicked convulsively for a few seconds. He lookedlike somebody who had taken poison. Then he waited.
It was a rather long time before his jailer came down the cell corridor,dragging a fire hose. Hoddan had been correct in assuming that he waswatched. His actions had been those of a man who'd anticipated apossible need to commit suicide, and who'd had poison in a part of hisshirt for convenience. The jailer did not hurry, because if the inventorof a deathray committed suicide, everybody would feel better. Hoddan hadbeen allowed a reasonable time in which to die.
He seemed impressively dead when the jailer opened his cell door,dragged him out, removed the so-far-unscorched other furniture, and setup the fire hose to make an aerosol fog which would put out the fire. Hewent back to the corridor to wait for the fire to be extinguished.
Hoddan crowned him with a stool, feeling an unexpected satisfaction inthe act. The jailer collapsed.
He did not carry keys. The system was for him to be let out of thiscorridor by a guard outside. Hoddan growled and took the fire hose. Heturned its nozzle back to make a stream instead of a mist. Water cameout at four hundred pounds pressure. He smashed open the corridor doorwith it. He strolled through and bowled over a startled guard with thesame stream. He took the guard's stun-pistol. He washed open anotherdoor leading to the courtyard. He marched out, washed down two guardswho sighted him, and took the trouble to flush them across the pavementuntil they wedged in a drain opening. Then he thoughtfully reset thehose to fill the courtyard with fog, climbed into the driver's seat ofthe truck that had brought him here--it was probably the same one--andsmashed through the gateway to the street outside. Behind him, thecourtyard filled with dense white mist.
He was free, but only temporarily. Around him lay the capital city ofWalden--the highest civilization in this part of the galaxy. Trees linedits ways. Towers rose splendidly toward the skies, with thousands ofless ambitious structures in between. There were open squares andparkways and malls, and it did not smell like a city at all. But hewasn't loose three minutes before the communicator in the truck squawkedthe all-police alarm for him.
It was to be expected. All the city would shortly be one enormousman-trap, set to catch Bron Hoddan. There was only one place on theplanet, in fact, where he could be safe--and he wouldn't be safe thereif he'd been officially charged with murder. But since the police hadtactfully failed to mention murder, he could get at least breathing-timeby taking refuge in the Interstellar Embassy.
He headed for it, bowling along splendidl
y. The police truck hummed onits way for half a mile; three-quarters. The great open square beforethe Embassy became visible. The Embassy was not that of a single planet,of course. By pure necessity every human-inhabited world was independentof all others, but the Interstellar Diplomatic Service representedhumanity at large upon each individual globe. Its ambassador was theonly person Hoddan could even imagine as listening to him, and thatbecause he came from off-planet, as Hoddan did. But he mainly countedupon a breathing-space in the Embassy, during which to make more plansas yet unformed and unformable. He began, though, to see some virtues inthe simple, lawless, piratical world in which he had spent hischildhood.
* * * * *
Another police truck rushed frantically toward him down a side street.Stun-pistols made little pinging noises against the body of his vehicle.He put on more speed, but the other truck overtook him. It rangedalongside, its occupants waving stern commands to halt. And then, justbefore it swerved to force him off the highway, he swung instead anddrove it into a tree. It crashed thunderously. One of his own wheelscollapsed. He drove on with the crumpled wheel producing an up-and-downmotion that threatened to make him seasick. Then he heard yelling behindhim. The cops had piled out of the truck and were in pursuit on foot.
The tall, rough-stone wall of the Embassy was visible, now, beyond themonument to the First Settlers of Walden. He leaped to the ground andran. Stun-pistol bolts, a little beyond their effective range, stunglike fire. They spurred him on.
The gate of the Embassy was closed. He bolted around the corner andswarmed up the conveniently rugged stones of the wall. He was well aloftbefore the cops spotted him. Then they fired at him industriously andthe charges crackled all around him.
But he'd reached the top and had both arms over the parapet before acharge hit his legs and stunned them--paralyzed them. He hung fast,swearing at his bad luck.
Then hands grasped his wrists. A white-haired man appeared on the otherside of the parapet. He took a good, solid grip, and heaved. He drewHoddan over the breast-high top of the wall and let him down to thewalkway inside it.
"A near thing, that!" said the white-haired man pleasantly. "I wastaking a walk in the garden when I heard the excitement. I got to thewall-top just in time." He paused, and added, "I do hope you're not justa common murderer with the police after him! We can't offer asylum tosuch--only a breathing-space and a chance to start running again. But ifyou're a political offender--"
Hoddan began to try to rub sensation and usefulness back into his legs.Feeling came back, and was not pleasant.
"I'm the Interstellar Ambassador," said the white-haired man politely.
"My name," said Hoddan bitterly, "is Bron Hoddan and I'm framed fortrying to save the Power Board some millions of credits a year!" Then hesaid more bitterly: "If you want to know, I ran away from Zan to try tobe a civilized man and live a civilized life. It was a mistake! I'm tobe permanently jailed for using my brains!"
The ambassador cocked his head thoughtfully to one side.
"Zan?" he said. "The name Hoddan fits to that somehow. Oh, yes!Space-piracy! People say the people of Zan capture and loot a dozen orso ships a year, only there's no way to prove it on them. And there's aman named Hoddan who's supposed to head a particularly ruffianly gang."
"My grandfather," said Hoddan defiantly. "What are you going to do aboutit? I'm outlawed! I've defied the planetary government! I'm disreputableby descent, and worst of all I've tried to use my brains!"
"Deplorable!" said the ambassador mildly. "I don't mean outlawry isdeplorable, you understand, or defiance of the government, or beingdisreputable. But trying to use one's brains is bad business! A seriousoffense! Are your legs all right now? Then come on down with me and I'llhave you given some dinner and some fresh clothing and so on. Offhand,"he added amiably, "it would seem that using one's brains would beclassed as a political offense rather than a criminal one on Walden.We'll see."
Hoddan gaped up at him.
"You mean there's a possibility that--"
"Of course!" said the ambassador in surprise. "You haven't phrased itthat way, but you're actually a rebel. A revolutionist. You defyauthority and tradition and governments and such things. Naturally theInterstellar Diplomatic Service is inclined to be on your side. What doyou think it's for?"
The Pirates of Ersatz Page 1
