by Tucker, RH
Once the bell rings, I make my way outside where Carter’s waiting in his usual spot to walk me to class. As I start to walk, he grabs my hand.
"Hey, I have to get to class early. I need to go over some stuff with Matt."
“Oh.” I look over his shoulder and Matt gives me a friendly wave. “Okay.”
“Look, I’m sorry about everything I said at lunch. Meet him or don’t, it’s up to you. I know I don’t seem jealous, but I just really—” I raise my eyebrow at him, unsure what he’s going to say, and he smirks. “Like you. And I thought you said you liked me too?”
“I do like you.”
“Good,” he says, smiling. “Then, I want you at the game.”
“What?”
"Not to meet some douchebag that didn't meet you. I mean, seriously, how in God's name could anyone who's talked to you for two minutes, whether it's just text or not, not want to meet you?" Okay, see, that sounds like something I thought he'd say originally. "But I want you there. For me."
“Really?” I smile up at him as he wraps his arms around me.
"Yeah. You asked me a question earlier, and we kind of got off topic."
“I did?”
My brain is crammed with Carter’s declaration of love, his nonchalant attitude over a mysterious guy wanting to meet me, and now how he’s acting so adorable and sweet. I thought girls were supposed to be the confusing ones.
“You did. You asked what we were?”
“Oh yeah.”
“Well, we’re together. If that’s okay with you?” He waits for my answer, nervousness across his face as if he thinks I’ll actually say no. I nod and smile. “So, then, I’d like my girlfriend at my last game of the season.”
Okay, I'm not saying I'm in love. I'm not. At least, I don't think I am. But the way he's staring at me, the smile he gives me, the way he's holding me close to him. All topped off by him calling me his girlfriend? Some serious heartstrings are being pulled.
“I’ll be there then,” I say, my grin stretching from ear to ear. “To see my boyfriend.”
My words light him up, brighter than a Christmas tree. He leans in closer, bringing a hand to my cheek. Our eyes lock for a moment before I stare at his lips. Leaning closer to kiss me, I'm not concerned about who's looking, who's whispering, or what rumors are going to be spread. I'm not worried about anything because everything about his lips against mine feels perfect.
When he breaks away, I try not to frown, wanting to kiss him forever.
“I’ll see you tonight at the game.” He smiles and gives me another kiss, much too fast for my liking, before he walks away with Matt.
I'm beaming as I walk to art, feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. When my phone vibrates, I pull it out, and my mood suddenly shifts.
BigBaller27: So? What do u say?
I let out a groan because I'm really over this guy now. Especially since Carter just called me his girlfriend. The thought brings back my smile.
Emerald22: No. I'm sorry, but I can't do that
BigBaller27: Okay :(
BigBaller27: Jeez, this must be a good guy. Are u two in love or something?
I don’t know what it is about the text, but I don’t like it. It sounds condescending, even though he’s never come across like that before. Knowing how Carter feels, something else hits me. I don’t know that I’m in love with him right now, but I could be in the future. I know I shared personal things with Baller in the past, but that was the past. Then he stood me up. It’s none of his business who I’m in love with, or not. Like. Who I’m in like with.
Emerald22: That’s none of ur biz
BigBaller27: I know. I’m sorry :(
BigBaller27: Okay, I tell you what. If u do show up, I’ll be there
Emerald22: I will be there because the guy I'm seeing is my bf now. He's on the team
Why do I feel compelled to tell him that? Maybe because then he’ll get the hint that these text messages should end. I’m about to delete the messages, as the next text comes in.
BigBaller27: He’s on the team?! Wow…
BigBaller27: Well, there are some cool guys on the team. I know Lucas Mitchell
BigBaller27: Just please don’t tell me it’s Carter Dixon or Jeremy McCormick. Those two are doucheheads
My mouth drops as I stop outside the art room, letting out a loud scoff.
Emerald22: Y r u being such an ass?
Emerald22: I already told you I’ll be there and I have a bf. As far as I’m concerned, we’re done talking!
BigBaller27: Ur right. I’m sorry. Plz don’t be mad :(
I don’t answer.
BigBaller27: Plz :’(
I want to be upset because he's never been so rude before, but my default mode kicks in, looking at it from his side. What if he was telling me he had a girlfriend now, and I was the one pushing to meet still? Would I be feeling the same thing as him? Probably.
Emerald22: It’s fine. But srsly, I don’t think we should text anymore. I’m sorry
BigBaller27: :(
BigBaller27: I understand. If you want to meet at the game though, just to find out and be friends, I’ll be there. I’ll be wearing a wearing a red headband
I walk into the art room and stare at my phone as the bell rings. I feel like I should type back. Maybe tell him not to go or that I won't be looking for him. But I don't text anything back. Instead, I finally delete our entire conversation and his number.
* * *
“But what if I see him?” I ask, fidgeting with my hoodie, as Jen sits on my bed.
I told her everything. How Carter and I are official now, and he wants me at the game, but how Baller also texted me and said he'd be there too. The only thing I didn't tell her is that Carter told me he loved me, because … I don't know. It rattled around my brain the rest of the day, and now that we’re about to go to the game, I still don’t know how to feel about it. I’m not freaked out. I know we seem to have a connection, but am I in love? The question returns my thoughts to Baller who, even though I deleted all of our text messages, I still feel a connection with too. Which is why I’m freaking out over him being at the game.
“Then ignore him,” Jen commands, as she gets up from the bed and browses through my makeup. “You’ll know who he is, and he won’t know who you are. But honestly, I want you to point him out to me, okay?”
“Why?”
“I wasn’t kidding, Emma.” She gives me a serious look. “That guy is gonna get kicked so hard he might never be able to have kids.”
Laughter bubbles out. I’m well past being angry at him for standing me up, so even if I do see him, I don’t think I’ll tell Jen who he is. I don’t hate him that much.
When we get to the gym, I scan everyone for a red headband. Even standing in line to get our tickets, I keep looking around, cursing myself every time I do, because I don’t know what I’ll do if I see him. Just ignore him? Go over and introduce myself? I have no idea.
Once we get inside, I’m still scanning the crowd, so it doesn’t register that our team and the other school is on the court. Not until Carter comes running over.
"Hey, gorgeous," he says quickly, running by me with a basketball.
I spin on my heels, keeping my eyes locked on him. He stops running and jumps, shooting the ball. I want to say he makes it, but I have no idea because my eyes are solely on him. His shoulders glisten as he keeps his arms raised. He turns back around, looks over at me and grins, giving me a wink. My knees wobble.
“Okay,” Jen tugs at my arm and gets me moving again. “Someone’s gone lovesick.”
If I were thinking more coherently, I would shush her, but I'm not. As we find seats in the bleachers, I can't stop watching him run around the court. Once the game starts, it's the same.
I don't know the rules of basketball. I know the teams go back and forth, shooting the ball, trying to score points. That's pretty much it. But even knowing next to nothing about the game, I'm transfixed. I keep my eyes glued to the co
urt, watching Carter as he runs around, passing and shooting the ball. I know who some of the other players are, like Matt and Lucas. But for the most part, my eyes are locked on Carter.
"Emma, if you keep staring like that, you're gonna burst into flames." Jen pokes me in the ribs.
“Sorry.” I finally break my line of sight, feeling my cheeks get hot.
“It’s all good, girl. Franco looks amazing out there.”
I find Franco on the court, and I can admit he is good looking. He has black hair that's trimmed in a buzz cut, and he's definitely fit, but it's not the same as Carter. The hair that's usually poofy on top has become sweaty, sticking to his forehead.
“Hey, so have you seen him?” Jen asks.
“Who?” I reply, still watching the court.
She laughs. “Girl, you’re helpless. Douchey Doucherson.”
Her words bring me back to reality. I totally forgot about Baller. Anxiety builds again, and I scan the crowd, looking for someone with a red headband. I'm not sure why he would be across the court, on the visitor's side, but I look over at the small crowd. Still nothing.
“I don’t see anyone.”
"Yeah, me either. What a sleaze. He didn't even have the balls to show up again."
“Whatever.”
“You’re okay with it?”
"You know what? I am. I was so wrecked that day he didn't show up. But now," I look at her and smile, "I'm not. It's no big deal."
She lets out a loud laugh. “That’s because you’re falling head over heels for Carter.”
I don’t disagree. I don’t even get embarrassed. I just give a small nod and lift my shoulders.
“Holy crap, Emma. Are you really?”
“I don’t know. I like him. And I know he likes me.”
“Are you in love?” She stretches the word in a sing-song and I know she’s joking, but I blush anyways, remembering Carter’s confession.
“What the? Really? You’re seriously in love with him?”
“No,” I say, but it doesn’t feel right. I don’t think I’m in love but quelling it so decisively doesn’t feel right either. “But it’s a possibility. He says he knows me and that I know him. I mean, I know stuff about him. But the way he talks to me, the way he looks at me. I honestly think he really does know me. It’s weird.”
“Weird good or weird bad?”
A buzzer sounds in the gym, and all the players start walking off the court. I watch as Carter scans the crowd and his eyes find mine. He unleashes that smile that warms me to the core.
“Weird good,” I answer, keeping my eyes on locked on him.
She leans over and hugs me. "That's awesome. Come on, I have to use the bathroom. Keep looking for Red Headband though. He's not off the hook yet."
I let out a laugh and this time I don’t get the angst I’ve had all day. If I see him, then I see him. If I don’t, then I don’t. I just want to see Carter again.
Chapter 37
Carter
I grab my phone and the red headband from my locker and shoot Emma a text.
BigBaller27: Running late. I just got to the gym. If you want to meet me, feel free to find me
I seriously hope once she finds out the truth she doesn't scream at me and slap me in the face. In all honesty, I probably deserve it. Maybe I should've just told her it was me back when I met her at the oak tree, but she was so furious. And then she told me off.
When I told Coach I needed to put together a half-time performance, he wouldn’t hear of it. The team we’re playing isn’t in the playoffs either, but they’re at the bottom of the standings. Even so, he only agreed to it if we held a twenty-point lead by half-time. I worked my ass off during the first half and thankfully, by the time the buzzer rings for half-time, we’re up by twenty-three.
“All right, bro.” Matt looks over at me. “You sure about this?”
Putting the phone back in my locker, I put the red headband on. It looks ridiculous, but hey, the things we do for love, right?
I told Matt the plan and got him to help after history class. I'm glad he's my best friend and comfortable in front of crowds since he's going to be on the microphone in front of everyone.
I nod, giving him a confident stare. “Let’s do it.”
Emma
As we make our way to the bathroom, I get a text from Baller. I deleted our conversation and his number, so it doesn’t show his name, but I know it’s him from what he writes.
“Jen.” I grab her arm.
She turns around and looks at the phone. “Oh, forget the bathroom. Let’s find this asshole.”
I want to say no. I want to tell her to forget about it. But now that he’s texted again, I want to know who he is too. Deleting the text as we walk back, I scan the crowd but don’t see anyone.
“Hey.” Jen pulls my arm. I spin around, thinking she sees him. “Isn’t that Empire of the Sun.”
I give her a confused look and then listen. I always play them in my room or her car, so she’s heard most of their songs. The moment I hear it, I know it’s them. It’s my favorite song, DNA.
Jen and I give each other confused looks. They played snippets of music during the game, but all of it was stuff to get the crowd riled up. This is the actual song.
“Ladies and Gentlemen,” someone says through the PA system. “We’ve got a special halftime show for you right now.”
I look over at the announcers' table and see Matt. One of the teachers who was making announcements during the game seems annoyed, staring up at Matt with the microphone.
“Most of you guys know we lost a game last week, so we didn’t make the playoffs. But tonight’s game is a big one. Well, for one player at least.” The music is playing along as Matt looks over at me and winks. What the?
“We’ve got a special performance lined up by a big baller." I gasp at his words. "He's our starting shooting guard. He's our captain, and he's number twenty-seven. Carter Dixon!"
If my eyes were any wider, they might fall out of my head. I raise my hand to my mouth, unsure I'm even awake.
“No way.” Jen gasps.
Carter runs out, bouncing a basketball, now wearing a red headband. I didn't pay attention to his jersey before, but as I watch him now, there it is. Twenty-seven.
“He’s quite a big baller, isn't he folks?" Matt says to the crowd, again emphasizing the words I know.
Carter finds me and smiles. After a flurry of moves that look extremely hard to do, Matt runs over and brings along with him a rack of basketballs. Unlike the game ball, these are all white and have little red hearts painted on them. I'm still trying to digest everything, as Carter begins shooting.
Carter is BigBaller27? What? How is that even possible? But it is possible. In fact, it's the truth. I'm going through my memories as I watch him shoot. His words that he knows me. That I know him better than I think I do.
Other memories flood through me. Him listening to Empire under the oak tree that day. The nervous habit of rubbing the back of his neck when he’d admit something. Something that I probably should’ve pieced together. The small things, like bringing me a Pepsi. The big things, like talking about his grandmother passing away or why his parents got divorced.
Then the main memory: Baller didn't stand me up. He was there. Carter knew exactly who I was, but he showed up anyways. He took a chance, and I threw it in his face. Of course, he wouldn't have told me the truth after that. In all the time I've known him, the little attention I showed him was cold and harsh. I thought he was a player who just hooked up with girls.
While everything else runs through my head, Carter grabs the last ball as the song is coming to an end. He pulls off the red headband, and as he walks closer, I see the apprehension on his face.
“I know it’s corny.” He holds the painted ball out to me with a nervous grin. “Full disclosure, I got the pun from a Valentine’s Day card Matt’s little brother had.”
I look at the painted basketball and see words between the red h
earts. I’m head over hoops for you. I want to smile, but the shock hasn’t worn off. I’m faintly aware that some of the crowd is watching us, but others have started to go about their business. I look back up at him, unsure what to say.
“I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you before, but I just never knew how. And I knew you hated me—”
“I didn’t hate you.”
“Okay, strongly disliked.” He laughs, nervously. “You heard all the rumors. And it’s what I let people believe. Emma, I really do—” He stops and bites his bottoms lip. “Well, I won’t say it, because I know what you said before. But now you know. Now you know why I say I know you. Because I do. And you know me too. The real me.”
I quickly glance at Jen, standing there dumbstruck, before I meet Carter's eyes again. I know he's telling the truth. More stuff clicks into place. How Baller said he loved basketball, then I remember the memories he told me about going to games with his mom. It was Carter all along.
“Say it.”
He gives me an unsure look. “Say what?”
“Say what you told me at lunch.” I smile, and it inspires one of his own.
“I love—”
I don't let him finish. My lips crash into his, he drops the ball, wrapping his arms around me. There's noise around us, and I think I hear Jen squealing in excitement, but I'm not sure. I'm not sure about anything around me, only what's going on within me. My hands run through Carter's hair, as he pulls me in tighter. I finally break my lips away from his, looking up into his eyes. He has a little of my lip gloss smeared on him, so I reach up, brushing my thumb over his swollen lips.
“I love you, too.”
“You’re not mad at me?” he asks with an unsure smile.
