by Tucker, RH
“This weekend,” I say, changing the subject. “Bonfire, man.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah, supposed to be a lot of people from school there.”
“Oh.” He wrinkles his nose.
“I don’t think Tara will be there. Sasha’s working and those two usually go to parties and stuff together. At least, I think they do.”
“Oh, okay.” He sounds a little more optimistic. “So, you and Sasha, huh?”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“What do you mean, you guess?”
“I mean, I don’t know. She’s cool. She’s hot, that’s for sure.”
“But?”
I wait, still scrolling through a movie list. “Nothing, there are no buts.”
“But, you have a girlfriend.”
“What?” I snap my head to the side, catching a smirk from him. “No, I don’t.”
“Well, there’s obviously something up with you. And Rich has dropped the g-word more than a couple times.”
“Rich is a dumbass.”
“Who’s also your brother that knows you.”
“Rich has been calling Jen my girlfriend for as long as I can remember. It’s just a stupid thing he does.”
Jackson tilts his head back, as if he caught me in a lie. “Ah, the girlfriend has a name.”
“Dude, she’s not my girlfriend.”
“So, what, friends with benefits?”
“Shut up.”
“Do you like her?”
I roll my eyes, miffed. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Why not?”
“Because she’s not into me.”
“Ha, right.”
“Seriously.”
“Are you really trying to tell me―”
“Oh, The Office,” I cut him off and start an episode of the TV show.
I look to the side, giving him a daring smirk, to which he just shakes his head, chuckles, and takes a drink of his soda. There’s no point in going over our history because there isn’t ever going to be anything more between us.
Chapter 18
Jen
My stomach is a ball of nerves as we drive to the bonfire. Carter offered to drive us, but I didn’t want to get left in the lurch of being without my car if I wanted to quickly leave. Which is a high possibility. I’m not sure if Lucas is going to be here, but I know Franco is and I don’t want to see either of them. I just want to have fun and try to get my life back on track.
Emma volunteered to drive with me, something I did feel a little bad about because I know she probably wants to go with Carter, who then said he’d just catch a ride with Matt and Izzy. A new round of jitters spread within, remembering I’ve only spoken to Matt’s girlfriend a handful of times. They got together at prom and I haven’t talked to her much, so maybe tonight will be the perfect time to get to know her a little better.
“Wow, parking is packed,” Emma says as I pull into the parking lot. “You think all these cars are for the bonfire?”
“I don’t know.” I pull into a parking spot. “I mean, it is a Saturday night.”
“True.”
As we get out of the car and walk toward the beach though, there is already a large crowd mingling in the sand. I can see flickers of fire on the beach, the sun setting over the ocean, casting an orange and violet backdrop. Glancing over the crowd, I look for anyone I don’t want to see so we can maneuver in the opposite direction. There are a few faces I know from school, but thankfully the only person who finds us is Carter.
“Hey,” he says, smiling, before giving Emma a kiss.
“How many people are supposed to be at this thing?” I ask.
“I’m not sure.” He looks back at the crowd. “I guess word spread to the entire senior class. I think a lot of people are using it like a final senior party, even though school’s over.”
I bite my lip. I haven’t seen anyone I want to avoid, and I already want to leave.
“Come on,” Carter says as he starts to walk, holding Emma’s hand. “Matt, Izzy, and her friends are over here.”
I follow along, keeping my eyes locked on the sand we tread through. Even as I walk, trying to avoid eye contact with anyone, a pang of frustration shoots through me. This isn’t me. Two months ago, I would have told Emma to go off with Carter, while I mingled among the crowd, chatting it up with people I know or eyeing who I thought was the cutest guy. Probably both. How has so much changed in such a short amount of time? And maybe more importantly, when am I finally going to be me again? If I’d just kept a lid on my feelings―my real feelings―I might be already having a great time, instead of feeling lost and inadequate.
“What’s up, guys?” Matt calls out. We’re all standing closer to the water, along the back edge of the group, while most of the crowd stays around the fire.
“Hey,” Izzy says, giving me a smile and a wave.
Emma gives her a hug while I just wave. “Hi.”
“Jen, where have you been?” Izzy asks in a completely friendly way, but I still feel like I’m being accused of something.
“Oh, just here and there.”
“You know V and Cindy, right?” She points to her friends next to her.
“Yeah.” I nod, giving each a smile.
Izzy rubs her arms. “Man, it’s actually a little chilly.”
“Shoot, I forgot the hoodie in the car,” Matt replies to her. “I’ll be right back.”
I watch him go and then turn my attention back to the girls. I think I’ve met them once, but I don’t even know what we talked about, or if we even had a real conversation. V, which I remembered is short for Veronica, is a curvy Hispanic with pitch black hair that matches Izzy’s in color, but it’s curly. Cindy is a petite Asian girl, who I don’t remember anyone ever telling me what her race is. She’s on the thinner side, like myself, but she’s tiny. At least six inches shorter than me.
“I love your top.” Cindy steps closer, feeling the material. “H&M?”
“Uh, yeah, actually.” I give another smile. I’m trying to be comfortable and I’ve always liked talking about clothes, so maybe if I just give this time.
But minutes pass by as I stand in silence while Veronica, Cindy, and Emma all start talking. They go back and forth, discussing clothes or the different classes they’ll be taking when school starts, and I stand around like an ornament. This is going horrible and it just started. I already feel the urge to quietly excuse myself and walk back to my car.
I look over at Emma, who’s smiling as Carter whispers something to her, his arms wrapped around her waist. Right as I open my mouth to tell her I’m going to leave, I hear a voice behind me that brings a smile to my face.
“Hey, what’s up, guys?”
“Micah!” I practically jump up and down.
He’s walking toward us, but I don’t give him a chance to get any closer, running at him, wrapping my arms around him in a fierce bear hug.
“I feel like I haven’t seen you in years.”
He laughs. “Jen, we just graduated.”
“Yeah, but even then. You were so distant those last couple months.”
“Yeah,” he says, scratching the back of his head. “Sorry about that.”
He keeps an arm over my shoulder as we walk back a couple steps and he says hi to everyone else. I love Micah, Emma and I both do. We were all friends throughout high school, and I know Emma looks at him kind of like a big brother, even though we’re all the same age. I do too. Breaking up with his girlfriend seemed to wreck him for a while, but he appears to be in good spirits tonight.
“’Sup, dude?” Carter gives Micah one of those bro-hug things.
Micah looks around. “Damn, lots of people out here tonight.”
“I know, it’s crazy.”
“Micah,” Emma speaks up, tapping his arm. “This is Izzy, Cindy, and V. I don’t think you’ve met them before.”
“No,” he answers. He extends his arms to the girls, shaking their hands. That’s Micah, always so p
roper. The sight brings a new smile to my face.
“So,” Veronica says, looking between him and I, “are you two dating?”
“What?” Micah looks at me, holding back a laugh.
“Me and Micah?” I laugh, too. It’s real laughter. It feels good to have real laughter again. “Oh, no. Micah couldn’t handle this.”
“Hey,” he nudges my shoulder with a grin, “I wouldn’t say that.” I shoot him a look that says, are you serious? “Okay, that’s probably true. You’re too much woman for me.”
“Damn straight.”
We both laugh as Veronica watches, unsure why it’s so funny between us. All three of us hung out so much in the past, people would always ask if we were dating and it became an inside joke. There were even a few times Emma and I pretended he actually was our boyfriend, so we could get a couple’s discount at Cold Stone, or other places for their Valentine’s Day specials.
“I’m probably not his type,” I say, giving her a wink.
“Come on, don’t say that,” he replies with a smirk. “You’re cute.”
“Yeah, but I know how you like ‘em.”
Micah rolls his eyes. I’m glad I can joke about his type again. And he does have a type, which is why it threw Emma and I both for a loop when he started dating Lana. A tall, slim, blonde girl, who didn’t know a thing about art or movies. Both things Micah loves. He’s also partial to brunettes, so I give Veronica another wink, because taking a second look, they look like they’d be cute together. She just stares back at me, trying to decipher my words.
“So, how’s summer?” Micah asks.
“Ugh, don’t ask.” It seems like he wants to ask what I mean, but I don’t give him the chance. “How about yours?”
“It’s okay. Still working on the graphic novel. Deciding what classes to take this fall.”
“Graphic novel?” Veronica asks. “What’s it about?”
Micah shoots me a look, then turns to her. “You know what a graphic novel is?”
Veronica stares at him like a deer caught in the headlights. “Um, a horror novel, right? Like, with graphic content.”
Micah’s face drops. I have to bite my lip to keep from laughing at the poor girl because I know she’s trying.
“Kidding!” she blurts out with a huge smile. “Of course, I know what a graphic novel is. It’s a comic book. What publishers are you submitting it to? Or are you self-publishing?”
Now it’s our turn to look shocked.
“Uh,” Micah’s jaw drops. “I haven’t decided yet.”
“What’s it about?”
Micah gives me a funny smile and I raise my eyebrows at him. They would be cute together. But before he can answer her, his face drops. The surprised smirk vanishes, and he goes rigid.
“Here you go, babe.” Matt walks back over to us, handing Izzy the hoodie.
“Thanks.”
“Hey, what’s up, Micah?” Matt smiles at him.
Micah just nods, barely makes eye contact with him, and then turns around. “I’m gonna take off.”
“Micah, come on, don’t do that.”
“Nah, it’s cool.” He shakes his head. I look over at Emma for some kind of help, but she just lifts her shoulders. “Taylor’s hanging out with some people.” He leans over and gives me a hug. “Text me, we’ll catch up.”
He leaves as we all watch, uneasy. Cindy and Veronica seem confused. Emma and I stare at one another with the same defeated expression.
“What just happened?” Izzy whispers to Matt.
Matt clenches his jaw. “Carter, the hell is his problem with me, man? It can’t just be that I’m cool with the basketball team. It’s gotta be something more.”
“Dude, I have no idea.” Carter shakes his head. “Emma?”
“We don’t know,” Emma answers, looking over at me. “He’s never explained it to us.”
Matt let’s out a deep breath. “Psh, whatever.”
The awkward tension in the air doesn’t last long, as a commotion of people yelling comes from the other side of the bonfire.
“What’s going on?” Emma squints, trying to peer through the crowd.
“Shit,” Carter mutters under his breath. “Matt, that looks like Lucas and McCormick.”
“What?” Matt looks at him, confused, then back over the crowd.
“Come on, we better get over there.” Carter nudges Matt.
That’s when we someone yells and the crowd eggs them on with an “Ooohh!”
Chapter 19
Lucas
The bonfire started off great, it really did. Jackson and I arrive early and hang out with a few players from our baseball team. One of them brought a bottle of Jack.
So, I take shot.
We’re both surprised at the number of people who showed up. I haven’t seen Jen yet, so I’m hoping that means she isn’t coming. A few of us throw a football around and I’m actually having fun.
So, I take another shot.
Someone brought a couple bags of marshmallows, so we start toasting some up, while a small group joke about some of the lame teachers we had in school. It’s one of the funnest nights I’ve had with friends in a while. Then I see Jen walk onto the beach.
So, I take a third shot.
I know I’m not drunk, but I’m stewing quietly as I keep glancing over at Jen through the crowd. Mentally I want to ignore her, but emotionally I take every chance I get to peek through the bodies and see what she’s doing.
Then Franco and Jeremy show up. No, I’m not taking a fourth shot. I’m not.
“Dude, where’s the bottle?” I hit Jackson’s arm.
He gives me a wary look. “You already had three shots.”
“Jackson.” I stare at him.
“Fine.” He turns around and taps one of our friends. “Oh, that sucks.” He raises the bottle, showing me it’s empty.
“Damn,” I mumble under my breath.
Jeremy makes eye contact with me and then turns around to talk to someone else. I was friends with the guy for years, but the last couple he just got douchier and douchier. Franco still hangs out with him, so go figure that one out. I’m not sorry about calling him a dick though, and sticking up for Matt, back when they got in to it.
Franco makes his way over to us. “Hey, what’s up guys?” I just give him a nod. “Dude, Lucas, I’ve been meaning to ask ever since that day. What’s up with you and Jen?”
“What do you mean?”
“Like, did you guys hook up, or what? If you would’ve told me you were into her, I would’ve backed off.”
“I’m not into her,” I spit out.
“You sure?” He gives me a conceited smirk, or maybe I just interpret it that way. I don’t feel drunk, but those shots are starting kick in.
“It’s none of your business if I am or not. Besides, you’re the asshole that decided to nail and bail.”
“What?” He looks insulted. “Dude, I didn’t bail on anyone, she knew the score. We were both down for just having a good time. No strings.”
“You’re such a jackass. She liked you, you idiot.” Yep, that liquid courage has kicked in.
He looks taken aback, as if the dots are connecting, and if I wasn’t buzzed I might think he seems a little apologetic.
“What’s this pussy spouting off about?” Jeremy butts in.
“Fuck you,” I growl at him.
“Hold up.” Franco puts a hand on his shoulder. “Lucas, I have no idea what you’re talking about. What’s it to you if she did or didn’t anyways? If, like you said, you don’t like her.”
I shake my head. “This is stupid.”
I turn to walk away, unsure where I’m going to go, when there’s a tug at my shoulder.
“Hold on a second,” Franco says.
It might be the annoyance building inside, knowing he and Jen went out. It might be that he seems like he really didn’t know how much Jen liked him. It might even be that I’m still pissed off at myself for everything that’s gone down
between Jen and I, that’s twisted our friendship into a steaming pile of garbage. It’s probably all of that.
So, when I feel his hand on my shoulder and hear his words, I don’t wait. I turn around, swing wildly, and my hand connects with his jaw.
“Oooh!” A chant rings out from everyone around us.
“Fuck! What the hell, Mitchell?”
“Oh, hell no.” I hear Jeremy, then feel him, as he jumps on top of me.
I hit the sand with a thud. His knee’s in my back, when I feel another shove, and look up to see Jackson on top of Jeremy. I sloppily get to my feet, when I’m swung around by Franco.
“What the hell was that for?”
Ignoring his words, I swing again.
I’m not a fighter. I’ve actually never been in a fight in my life. So, my only excuse is the alcohol. Still, it felt good to connect with his face. What doesn’t feel good is Franco ducking out of my second attempt to hit him, then hitting me with a combination that he must’ve gotten out of a movie. It’s a spinning back arm, the back of his fist nailing me in the face, quickly followed up with a swift kick to my stomach. It sends me barreling over and I drop to the ground
“Stay down, Lucas.”
“F―” I try to curse at him, but I’m gasping for air to be let back in to my solar plexus.
“What the hell?” I hear a yell and look over to see Carter.
“Dude, he came after me.”
Matt helps me up and I’m hit with the sudden urge to hide. To bury my head out here in the sand and pretend like I don’t exist. Carter rushes over to help separate Jackson and Jeremy, with a couple other friends. Franco is still looking at me like I’ve gone psycho. Matt’s staring at me, trying to figure it all out. Then I see Jen standing next to Emma, who looks like she feels sorry for me.
I shake loose of Matt, who’s trying to steady me, and walk away from everyone.
The cool breeze that hits my face makes me close my eyes, as I listen to the waves on the beach. I rub my stomach, then reach up and touch my face, feeling the blood trickling down my lip. At least I hit him once. I shake my head at myself, wondering why the hell I hit him in the first place. If what he said is true, and I have no reason to believe it isn’t, then he didn’t even know Jen liked him like she did. But if I knew, how could he not? Oh yeah, because he hasn’t been in love with her since he was eight, so he probably just saw her as another girl in school.
