by Tucker, RH
He didn’t press for details about why I didn’t want to lead him on, which I’m thankful for. If he had, I might’ve told him that I’m not ready for sex. But that’s not true. The truth is, I’m more than ready. I want to have sex. But I’m nervous. And scared. Not so much of the act itself, but being that open and vulnerable with someone.
He didn’t give me any reason to think he’ll judge me last night, but I still fear it. Micah told me I don’t have anything to be embarrassed about, but I still feel like I do.
Laying here with his arms around me, it’s crystal clear that he works out regularly. His body definitely warrants the drool I just wiped from his shoulder. But mine? I don’t know.
“Morning,” Micah’s hoarse words break me from my thoughts.
My eyes shoot up and meet his, just before he kisses my forehead. “Morning.”
“Did my morning breath wake you up?”
“No.” I laugh and shake my head. Then I immediately slap my hands over my mouth. “Oh, man. Do I have morning breath?”
He scoots lower, so we’re face-to-face. “I don’t know.” He raises a finger to my hand, nudging it to move away. “Let’s find out.”
I swallow nervously and let him push my hand away. Then he brings his lips to mine.
I press myself closer to him, wrapping my arms around him and turning over, to him laying on top of me. He’s still aroused, and it pushes into me. Something about that fact gets me hotter, and even though I know what I said last night, that was last night and now with him on top of me and my lips against his, I don’t want this to stop.
His lips stay on mine, but his body moves enough that’s there a gap.
“Sorry.” He smirks with a light blush creeping up his neck. “It’s, uh, morning.”
I shouldn’t be disappointed, but I am. “It’s okay.”
“And actually, I have to pee.” His smirk turns into a smile. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he grabs a shirt from the floor.
“Aw,” I sigh out loud. “You can keep the shirt off if you want.”
He looks back at me and chuckles. “Silly girl.” Before he leaves his room, he glances over his shoulder. “Oh, and no. You don’t have morning breath.”
Pulling the blankets closer, I smile and run my hand over the empty part of the bed. Across the room, a mirror flashes back my reflection, and I gasp. My hair is a disaster. I mean, it always is in the morning, but right now it’s out of control.
Rushing to the mirror, I hastily run my fingers through my curls, trying to get them under control. Even though he said I don’t have morning breath, I still breathe into my hand and check. It’s not horrible, so that’s good. I run my fingers under my eyes, attempting to relieve the morning puffiness. Rubbing a finger over the front of my teeth, I hear the bathroom door open and scamper back to the bed, getting under the covers.
He catches me pulling them up to my neck, and shoots me a suspicious look. I give him my best innocent expression as he walks back to the bed, laying on top of the sheets, putting his arm over me.
“What’d you do?” he asks.
“What do you mean?”
“Your hair.” He runs his finger through it, pulling me closer.
I look away, a little embarrassed that he saw it so out of control. “I … it was horrible.”
“What?”
“It was insane. Curly hair bedhead is no joke.”
He lets out a laugh, and I feel it in his chest. Leaning over, he kisses the top of my head. “I love your hair. Especially that bedhead look.”
“Really?” He nods. “Why?”
“I don’t know.” His eyes roam over my hair again and then meet mine. “Not all fixed up and everything, which don’t get me wrong, you all done up looked amazing last night. But like this?” His eyes roam over my nose and lips, glancing down at the covers and then back at me. “This is you. I like this. Does that even make sense?”
I only nod because if I answer him, I might start crying. He likes me just how I am.
“Do you want me to take you home?”
I get closer to him and shake my head. “I’ll text Cindy.”
“I don’t mind.”
“Who are you?”
He chuckles before kissing my smile. “What do you mean?”
“You don’t press me for sex, even though I sleep with you. You compliment my crazy hair and watch my favorite TV show with me. And now you offer to take me home?”
Wrapping his arms around me, his laugh is deep. “I don’t know how to answer that. I’m just me, Vero.” The use of my nickname makes me pause. He notices my reaction, raising an eyebrow. “What?”
“Only my family calls me Vero.”
“Oh, sorry.”
“No, it’s okay. I like it.”
A silence drifts between us, both of us exchanging smiles once more. It’s the same comfortable feeling I felt last night.
“You know, I really liked this,” he says.
“Me too.”
“I might be doing this out of order since I slept with you already.” He laughs, and I playfully slap him. “Do you think we could go out sometime?”
“I don’t know,” I answer with a smile, giving him pause. “I mean, like you said, we already slept together. I already got what I wanted from you.”
“Oh, so you’re just using me, huh?”
“Well, when you look like you do, I don’t really need you for anything except your body.”
“Silly girl,” he says, unleashing another laugh, and wraps me in his arms.
Chapter 7
Micah
I offer to walk Veronica out to Cindy’s car but she declines, and I stop at the door, giving her one more kiss. For as much fight as I gave Taylor for wanting to have his stupid party, I’m silently thanking him as she leaves. We talked most of the night, we watched TV, made out for a while, and then fell asleep together. And it all felt so natural.
Then this morning, even if we didn’t have sex, there was no awkward morning silence. No stumbling over words, wondering what we should do now. Again, everything just feels so comfortable with her. Natural.
As I’m closing the front door, Taylor walks out of his room. “What’s up, asshole?”
I immediately start laughing. “Dude, you have to admit, that was funny.”
He flips me off, heading to the bathroom. “At least one of us got some last night. About damn time for you, might I add.”
“We didn’t do anything.”
Taylor stops and stares at me, shocked. “Excuse me? It sounded like you just told me you didn’t hit that, but that can’t be right. You two were practically inseparable last night.”
“Well, I mean, we made out a bit, but we didn’t have sex.”
He gives me an apathetic look, shaking his head. “Micah, I’m disappointed in you.”
“Whatever.” Laughing it off, I head to the kitchen.
“Hit the gym after breakfast?”
“Can’t. Meeting up with my dad.”
“All right, cool. I’ll text him to make sure he gives you the birds and the bees conversation again, since apparently, you forgot how that shit works.”
“Ass.”
* * *
Debbie, our waitress, comes by and sets down a couple of cups of water. “Same ol’, same ol’ for you guys?”
“Please,” I respond, giving her a smile.
I just ate an hour ago, but whenever I meet up with my dad, we almost always meet at Mick’s, a small diner down the street from his office. He’ll get a Cubano sandwich, and I get a club sandwich. We usually meet once a week, just him and me to catch up and talk. We started it my junior year in high school, and it’s sort of stuck. He’s my best friend, even though I don’t tell Taylor that. He’s been my hero since grade school.
“So, how’d your finals turn out?” he asks.
“Good,” I answer with a nod. “Aced my English class and high B’s in biology and math.”
“And your art final?”
“G
ood. The instructor loved the mural I did. She said I should consider an intern job this summer for her brother. He runs an advertising agency in West Covina.”
“That’s great. You know, you can still work at my office if you want.”
“Thanks. I think I’ll just stay at the gym for the time being.”
He’s offered me a spot in his office for three years now. I worked for him for the summer between my junior and senior year, but I felt like I was getting special treatment. I mean, I was, but it seemed obvious to everyone else that worked there. It’s a small graphic design company he started years ago, and a handful of people work for him, so everyone is close. I don’t want to feel like the boss is giving me special treatment. Maybe if people who worked there were jerks, it’d be different, but they’re all really nice.
“Anyway, how’s Mom?”
“She’s good. Her and your aunt are helping your cousin with her wedding stuff.”
I shake my head. “I still can’t believe Judy’s getting married. A month after graduating high school no less. That’s crazy.”
“When you know, you know, son.”
“Yeah,” I reply, staring at my glass of water.
“Everything all right?”
I still haven’t told him or my mom about Lana and I. They’ve both been super supportive of us as a couple and my mom seemed to love Lana. They both did. I guess it’s time to rip off that bandaid. “Yeah, everything’s good, but … me and Lana. We, uh … broke up a few weeks ago.”
“A few weeks?”
“Last month.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I just …” I trail off, taking a deep breath. “I really thought we could have a story like you and Mom.”
“Micah,” he says my name and doesn’t continue until I look up at him. “Everyone’s story is different. Sometimes things don’t work out. Don’t feel bad about that.”
“I know.”
“Do you think there’s any chance of you two getting back together?”
When we broke up the first time, I only told them we got into an argument and broke up. I felt bad about it at the time, but when we got back together, I was happy I did. It didn’t seem like such a big deal to them that we got back together. But I know there’s no chance of that now. “No. I caught her cheating on me.”
“Oh,” he says, staring down at the table. Looking back up he gives me a sympathetic smile. “Well, you know, people make mistakes.”
I don’t want to correct him. I don’t want to tell him it’s not the first time. So I just shake my head. “No. This … it wasn’t a mistake. We’re done.”
“Okay.” He stares at me with understanding.
“Here you guys go,” Debbie says, putting the plates down in front of us.
“Thanks, Deb.” I offer her a smile.
Eating in silence, he seems quieter than usual, but maybe he just doesn’t want to bring up Lana. I’m pretty sure my parents thought we might eventually get married one day.
No matter what I tried to tell myself, no matter how hard I tried not to think about it, it was never the same after the first time she cheated. I wanted to trust her, but there was always this nagging in the back of my mind, a constant fear of betrayal. I think that’s why I went out of my way so often to try and do nice things for her. On the one hand, that’s who I am. That’s how I was raised. My father has treated my mother better than anyone. I want to be like that.
But on the other hand, I think I was hoping if I went out of my way; if I took her out to dinners, or bought her gifts, or surprised her with flowers on her birthday, I could mask over my memories. Sometimes it worked. Most of the time, it didn’t.
We finish our food and pay the bill. Heading out to the parking lot, I unlock my small Chevy pickup truck. It’s a few years old, but still in good condition. A graduation gift from high school.
“How’s the truck running?”
“It’s good.” I give it a reassuring knock on the hood.
“You gonna be coming over this weekend?”
“Maybe.” I look away with a smirk, remembering the date I set up with Veronica.
He raises an eyebrow. “What’s that smile about?”
“Nothing. I, uh, have a date.”
Now both eyebrows go up as he slaps my shoulder. “Jumping back in already, huh? Good for you, son.”
“Yeah, well, we’ll see. She’s nice.”
“Just give your mom a few more weeks.” He averts his eyes, rubbing his ear. “She really liked Lana. She was ecstatic when you guys got back together. I’ll let her know you guys broke up.”
“Okay. Thanks.” I reach over and give him a hug. “We still on for the Angels game next week?”
“Right behind home plate,” he answers with a smile.
“Sounds great.”
I take off and head to the gym. Now that the semester is over, I’ll be picking up more shifts, but I don’t start for a couple more hours. A quick workout session should be useful. It helps get my mind off of everything that happened.
I’m not sure how long I’ll still be angry over everything. Last night with Veronica was great though. I don’t want her to be a distraction. There is something there. But it’s probably too early to think of getting something serious going with her. I still need to get rid of the anger from what Lana did. Actually, I still want to be angry over what she did. It’s better than feeling like an idiot for falling for it again.
Chapter 8
Veronica
“What about this one?” I show Cindy a light blue blouse.
Her eyes roll, once again, as she glances over at me standing in front of my closet. “That’s fine, too, V.”
“I don’t know,” I respond, hanging the top back up and pulling down a black T-shirt. “What if I just went with a simple black shirt? Black always looks better.”
“Veronica, if you ask me one more time what you should wear, I’m going to throw my phone at you.”
“This is important, Cin. It’s like a first date. Wait, is it a first date? He just said meet him at Chevy’s. Do you think Chevy’s is considered a date-type atmosphere? It has karaoke and pool tables. Do you think he just wanted it to be casual, you know, to see how it goes?”
“Oh my God.” She gets off my bed and rips the shirt out of my hands. “You’re wearing this. Stop stressing out. And yes, this is a date.”
“Yeah, but what if he doesn’t really think of it as a date. What if he—”
“Shut it.” She puts a finger to my lips. “You guys made out, right?” I nod with her finger still against me. “And you said he called you sexy, right? And he got your number and invited you to this place tonight, correct?” I nod again. “Then this is a date, V. Put on that shirt and let’s go.”
She walks back over to my bed and returns to scrolling through her phone.
“Okay,” I answer her with a smile. Then I look down and see a line of shoes. “Oh, but what shoes should I wear?”
Her mouth drops. “Veronica, put on the freaking shirt!”
* * *
Chevy’s is a local spot that’s one-part hangout with some air hockey and pool tables, one-part karaoke bar, and one-part pub. Walking in, I scan the area looking for Micah. He said him and Taylor like to hang out here on the weekends.
“Stupid, Jackson,” Cindy grumbles, scowling at her phone.
“He’s not coming?”
“No, he’s making some lame excuse again. Something about working at his dad’s shop. I don’t know why I’m even talking to him.”
I let out a laugh and return to looking around. “Because you like him.”
“Not anymore.”
“So, you guys are off again?”
“Whatever,” she grumbles.
Cindy’s been dating Jackson, on and off, for the past few months. They’ll hookup, and things seem to be going okay, but then he’ll blow her off for days at a time. I keep telling her she’s better off without him.
“There’s Micah and Taylor.” I point to the back of the building. They’re both standing near a billiard table, two girls standing next to them. My self-esteem instantly lowers.
They’re both taller and thinner than me. A blonde girl is talking to Taylor, who seems to be enjoying the attention. The other girl has long, light brown hair, tiny shorts, with a skimpy top that shows off her waist. She playfully bumps into Micah’s shoulder, saying something, and he smiles before returning his attention to the pool table. I swallow the nerves, glancing down at my capris and shirt. I don’t look horrible, and I made sure my hair had a little extra bounce to it, but compared to that girl … no. There is no comparison.
“This was a mistake.” I turn around and head back to the entrance.
“Hey,” Cindy hisses. “No, V, wait up.” She grabs my wrist as I get to the doorway. “No, okay? You’re not doing this. You’re not walking out before giving this a shot. Project V—”
“Enough with stupid Project V, Cindy. My sex life is not some stupid bet. And I’m not going to try and hookup with someone just to get it over with.”
“It’s not about hooking up, Veronica.” She looks around, keeping her voice low. “I know we joke about it, but it’s not about that. It’s about you. It’s about being confident. Do you know who that girl is back there?” She points, and I shake my head, not bothering to look. “So you know nothing about what’s happening. Her and Booby For Brains Blondie could just be hitting on them, and Micah’s over there waiting for you, you don’t know. I’m not letting you give up that easy.”
“I don’t know if I can do this.” I stare down at my fidgeting fingers.
“And you’re never going to know if you don’t try.”
“Hey,” I hear Micah’s voice. Lifting my gaze, I see him approaching with a smile. “I’ve been waiting for you.”
Cindy, who still has her back to him, gives me an ‘I told you so’ look, before grinning and turning around. “We just got here. You guys busy?” She peers around him and nods back to Taylor, where both girls are still lingering.
