by Tucker, RH
“No … please …”
I sit up, unsure what to do, as he starts to toss and turn. “Taylor,” I whisper to him.
“Reese …”
Pulling my arm back from lightly shaking him awake, I watch him fight with whatever’s going on in his mind. He looks like he’s struggling with something. I want to help him somehow, but the name is stuck in my mind. Who’s Reese?
“Please …” His whispers sound almost pained.
Even though I’m confused as to what’s going on in his mind, he still looks hurt. “Taylor.” His arms move to the side, and I shake him a little harder. “Taylor, you’re dreaming. Taylor.”
“No!” he screams, sitting up in the bed, his chest heaving.
Settling next to him, I wrap the comforter around myself, unsure how to react. He looks around the room and then his eyes meet mine. For a moment, it seems like he doesn’t recognize me. Wiping the sweat from his brow, he scans my room again, then looks back at me and lays down.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah … yeah. I’m fine.”
He doesn’t look at me. Throwing his arm over his forehead, he stares up at the ceiling. I lay back down next to him, lightly running my hand over his arm, unsure how to react and wanting to know what and who he was dreaming about.
“Are you sure? That didn’t sound fine.”
He shrugs off my hand, sitting on the edge of the bed. “It’s nothing. Just a bad dream.”
I’m not sure how to respond or what to do. Something is going on, and now my mind’s racing with what that could be. Do I bring up the name? Is it something serious from his past or something that’s going on right now?
Taking a chance, I move closer to him, leaning my head on his shoulder. My fingers lightly run over the scars along his arm. “Taylor, if you need to talk, it’s okay. You can talk to me if you want.”
A wave of rejection hits me followed by a chill as he pushes my hand off of him and stands up. “I told you, it’s nothing. There’s nothing to talk about.” He grabs his pants from the floor, pulling them on, then sits back down, putting his socks on.
“You’re leaving?”
His eyes finally find mine again, as he’s slipping on a shoe. “We’re done, aren’t we?”
Any worry over what he was dreaming about, or sympathy and wanting to comfort him, washes away. Finding his shirt on the floor, I get off the bed and pick it up, throwing it in his face before walking out of my room. “Yeah. We’re done.”
Leaving my room, I head to the bathroom, slamming the door shut after entering. I lean over the counter and take a deep breath, trying to remember that we aren’t a couple. We aren’t anything. I set this up, so I have no reason to be mad at him, but I am.
“Hey.” I hear my sister’s muffled voice outside of the bathroom door. “Taylor, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Everything okay? And before you answer that, I do own pepper spray and a taser, so choose your words wisely.”
I lightly chuckle at my sister’s words but hear silence from Taylor.
“Yeah, everything’s fine. Can you … can you just tell her I said sorry when she comes out.”
“If everything’s fine, why do I have to tell her you’re sorry?”
More silence. I lean closer to the door.
“You’re a good sister,” he answers her, and I can hear the smile in his words. He’s back to laying on his charm. “I’m just an asshole, that’s all. Please?”
“Sure.”
“Thanks.”
I wait for the front door to open and close, then finally stick my head out. Felicia is leaning against our door, arms crossed. “So, he’s hot as hell and an asshole? That’s a combination just asking for trouble.”
“Yeah.” I walk past her and into the kitchen.
She follows me in, wearing her cozy pjs and slippers, as I open the fridge, grabbing some eggs, and then a mixing bowl. Felicia gets a bag of coffee, and starts filling up the coffee pot with water. “You want to tell me what that was about?”
“I don’t know,” I answer, whisking the eggs. Setting the bowl down, I reach for a pan and turn on the stove.
“You guys aren’t even a couple, and you’re already arguing?”
I shake my head, some pieces of hair falling out of my messy bun. “We weren’t arguing, Licia.”
“Why was he apologizing then?”
Letting out a huff in frustration, I move around her and grab some spices from a shelf, returning to the pan. “It’s nothing.”
“Then why are you cooking eggs?”
I move the eggs around in the pan, staring at them in thought. I love cooking, and sometimes I do it because I want to eat. Sometimes I get in the zone and make dinner for us that I just want to smell, look, and taste amazing. Whisking, grilling, chopping—it all has a calming effect over me, especially at home. But I hate eggs. We have them because Felicia likes them, and for some reason, I cook them when I’m upset or annoyed.
“This isn’t a good idea. I shouldn’t have done it.”
“Because you like him,” she says, and I nod. “Maybe he’d be open to—”
“He won’t.”
“But how do you know?”
“He woke up this morning and was dreaming. It isn’t the first time.”
“So, he had a little dream?”
“Nightmare.” Turning off the pan, I scoop the eggs out and put them on a plate, handing it to Felicia.
“Whatever,” she says, taking a bite of the breakfast. “That doesn’t mean anything.”
“He said a name. Reese. I was going to ask him but wasn’t sure if I should. Then he just shut me out. It’s not like I can press him for something because we’re not together. We’re not anything.”
“Well, you’re something.”
“Not something real enough that lets me ask him about things.” Folding my arms, I stare down at the floor. “I think this thing was just a huge mistake. I am so not interested in liking someone who, once again, isn’t available.”
“You don’t know who Reese is though. It could be anyone. It could be his childhood puppy, you don’t know.”
“Yeah. Right.”
This is so not a good idea.
Chapter 14
Taylor
“How’s that?” Becky asks
“Mm-hm,” I reply, nodding but not really paying attention to her form on the squat press machine.
After I left Sasha’s place yesterday, I felt like an ass. I paid attention in my classes, but I’m noticing Tara more and more around campus, and when I saw her yesterday the feeling just compounded. And it’s stayed with me while I’ve been at work today. So, while I’m technically not Becky’s personal trainer, I always spot her around the gym, and I usually love it. Especially on legs day.
Across the gym, Calvin waves at me, motioning me to come over.
“Hey, you okay?” Becky asks with more sincerity in her voice than I’m used to.
“Uh, yeah. I’ll be right back.”
I know it’s Calvin’s last day. Ethan’s is tomorrow.
“As a PT you’ll set your own hours and rate, that’s a given,” Calvin begins before I can say anything, “but you’ll need clients. Working out Becky five days a week won’t cut it, even if you fantasize about that.”
I chuckle along with him. “What’s your point? I told you, I haven’t decided yet.”
He smiles past me, giving a head nod, and I turn and see Becky looking over at me. “My point is I’ve got a client list lined up, and Ethan and I can’t handle them all.”
“How’s this?” I inquire, tapping my fingers on the cool marble counter.
“We’re located down the street from a chiropractor, and I made friends with her.”
“Her? Oh, now I see.”
His smile, and the way his brown eyes light up, give him away. “So, what do you say?”
Before I can reply, my manager, Bobby, walks over to us. “Taylor, can I talk to you a minut
e?”
“Sure,” I answer and follow him, casting a glance behind me. Calvin nods to me, and I know he wants me to think about it.
“Take a seat,” Bobby instructs as he shuts the door behind us. “I’ll get right to the point. With Calvin and Ethan leaving, we’re short staffed.”
“I know. I’ll pick up extra shifts whenever I can.”
Bobby moves toward his chair, located behind a messy desk. “Awesome, that’s just what I wanted to hear. I know you’re taking classes this semester.”
“Yeah, but it’s not too crazy.”
“Great. Micah’s volunteered some more shifts, too. I know you asked for a weekend off next month, so—”
“Yes, those are the only days I need.”
“Yeah, see, I need you here though. My wife and I will be out of town, so I’ll need you and Micah to cover the gym those days.”
Running my hand through my hair in frustration, I reply, “Bobby, I can’t do it. Look, I don’t even need both days, but I need the sixteenth. I don’t see the problem.”
“The problem is our tickets are booked. I’m sorry, Taylor. I need you here those days.”
I get up from the chair. “It’s non-negotiable, Bobby. I’m sorry, I won’t do it. I can’t.”
He leans forward, placing his elbows on his desk. “Taylor, don’t make this difficult. It’s one day.”
“Sorry, can’t do it.”
“Well, I’m in charge of the schedule.”
I don’t need or request many days off. The gym isn’t even closed on holidays, but I don’t ask for Christmas, or Thanksgiving, or even my birthday. But there is one day I always make sure I have off. The sixteenth. “I don’t care.”
“Excuse me?”
“I quit.”
Steamrolling out of the office, I head to the front of the gym, Calvin watching in confusion. Bobby comes running out, jumping in front of me. “Whoa! Taylor, wait. We’ll figure something out.”
“There’s nothing to figure out. I quit.”
“You what?” I hear Micah behind me, entering the gym. “What’s going on?”
“If I can’t get the sixteenth off, then I’m out. No questions.”
“What the hell is the deal with that day? It’s one day, Taylor,” Bobby says.
“Don’t, Bobby,” Micah warns him. He knows what that day is.
“Yeah! Screw this place!” Calvin comes over, slings his arm over my shoulder, and escorts me out of the building as we walk over to my bike. In the distance, I can hear Bobby asking Micah what just happened. I know Micah won’t tell him, but maybe he should. Maybe I should. But I won’t because it’s none of his business.
“What the hell was that about? You didn’t have to do it for little ol’ me.” Calvin laughs.
“I didn’t,” I snap at him.
“Whoa, okay. Okay.” He lifts his hands. “Tonight, you, me, and Ethan. We celebrate the CTE Effect branching out on our own.”
“Yeah. Fine, whatever.” Grabbing my helmet, I take a deep breath. “Mind picking me up? I feel like letting loose tonight.”
“Hell yeah! You sure you’re okay, though? You hardly ever get in anything with four wheels.”
“I’m cool.” I raise my fist, and he hits my knuckles. “Hit me up when you’re on your way.”
“Yeah, for sure.”
Slipping on my helmet, I look back at the door. I watch as Bobby walks away from Micah, who stares at me through the glass door. I’ll have to explain it to him later, but I know he’ll understand. It’s not like I’ll be messing things up since I’ll still be able to pay my share of the rent. For now, at least. But I don’t want to think about any of that. Things feel like they are starting to unravel, and right now I just want to forget everything for the rest of the day.
* * *
“Whoa, started early, huh?” Ethan laughs as I open the door, empty shot glass in my hand. I shrug, turn around, and head back into the kitchen. “What the hell happened today?” Ethan asks, following me in. “Cal asked me to pick you up. He said he was calling some girls.”
“Whatever. And nothing .” I wave him off, leaning against the kitchen counter.
“Right.” He stares at me a moment, maybe waiting for me to expound, but I don’t.
“What are we getting into tonight?” I throw back another shot.
“What’s going on with you?”
“Nothing.”
He walks over slowly, taking the bottle from my hand and puts it back on the counter. “Becks said you’ve been ignoring her. I know you guys had an arrangement, or whatever, but I think she’s actually starting to like you. And then you just up a quit today? What’s up?”
“It’s nothing. I haven’t been ignoring her, I had this thing on the side with this other girl. Kind of like a friend with bennies thing.”
“Had? Not anymore? Maybe you should let Becky know, in case she is digging on you now.”
I shake my head, walking past him, and grab my jacket. “Ugh, you and Micah. She’s not into me, okay?” I lock eyes with him. “We just haven’t hooked up in a while. And I don’t know what’s going on with Sasha. This stupid arrangement is dumb, and I never should’ve—” I throw my hands into the air, letting out a frustrated groan. “Dude, just forget it, okay? Come on, I need to blow off some steam tonight.”
Instead of agreeing, he stands there. His eyes on me, I know he’s questioning even taking me out. I would probably do the same if a friend were acting like me, but I really need to forget everything tonight. I’m not calling Sasha because that would just make things worse, and if Becky is starting to like me, I don’t want to lead her on. I know I had a deal with Sasha, but I can’t take this. I need to zone out.
“We doing this, or what?” I ask him.
“Yeah, sure,” he answers, but he sounds anything but confident. “Cal’s already called some girls down at Chevy’s, but I can’t stay late tonight. My mom’s watching Ash.”
“Let’s get it started then.”
* * *
We get to Chevy’s, and Calvin already has three girls around him when we walk in. Ethan taps my chest, motioning over to the bar. “I’m gonna grab a drink. I’ll get you water.”
I scoff, rolling my eyes at him. “Jack and Coke.”
I think he’s getting annoyed with me, but he doesn’t say anything. Calvin introduces me to a girl, but I’ve forgotten her name by the time Ethan comes back with my drink.
“Hey, take it easy, man.” He hands me my glass. “I know your cousin hooks you up here, but you’re still underage.”
“Yeah, thanks, Dad.”
He scowls. “Taylor, what’s your deal?”
I don’t answer. Instead, I knock back my drink and then grab Calvin’s beer, downing it.
“Dude, knock it off,” Ethan hisses at me.
“Try this.” The girl whose name I’ve forgotten leans over, handing me her cup.
“What is it?” I give her a smirk.
“Sex on the beach.” She’s wearing smokey eyeshadow, and I’d normally find it sexy. Right now I’m comparing her eyes to Sasha’s, and I shake my head at myself.
“Don’t mind if I do.” I drink the remaining half glass, grinning at her.
“And next up, we’ve got Taylor singing Lionel Richie’s ‘All Night Long’.”
I look back at the DJ who hosts karaoke night. I’ve sung before, but didn’t sign up tonight. At least, I don’t think I did. Shit, I’m drunk already.
“I signed you up.” Calvin slings his arm over my shoulder then looks at Smokey Eyeshadow. “I’ve been talking you up,” he whispers to me. “You owe me.”
Rolling my eyes, I decide to go with it and hop up on stage, but I don’t even know if I’m singing the words right. The girls are giggling, and Calvin chuckles along, but Ethan is shaking his head at me like I’ve let him down.
The rest of the night is fuzzy. I know Calvin gets me another drink and I’m about to take off with the girl whose name I’ve long forgotten, bu
t Ethan pulls me aside.
“You’re not leaving with her.”
“Why not?” My words stumble out.
“Because you’re not right. Give me your phone.”
“I’m not giving you my phone,” I tell him, reaching into my pocket.
“Dude, I have to leave and I sure as hell am not leaving you alone with Calvin or the girls.”
“Aw.” I drunkenly grin at him. “You’re a good dad. I’ll be fine.”
“No. You won’t. Now give me your phone.”
Pulling my phone out, I wave it in his face. “I told you, you’re not getting my—” He quickly snatches it from my hand. “Hey!”
“I already called Micah, but he’s not responding. What’s your friend with bennies’ name again?”
“Dude, just let me go have fun with …” I look around the place, my head getting foggy. “I don’t remember her name.”
“No. Something is going on with you, even if you don’t want to tell me. And if you haven’t been hooking up with Becky because of this other girl, then that has to mean something.”
“Dude, it’s just … It’s nothing.”
“Is this her?” He shows me the screen, and I see our text message conversation.
“Don’t call her.” I reach for my phone but move too slow. My words are slurring together more now. “Just grab me another drink, and I’ll be fine.”
He doesn’t answer. Leaning against the wall, I see him talking, but the surrounding conversations and the music in the place block out his voice. Plus, I’m starting to feel dizzy.
“Drink this.” Ethan hands me a bottle of water, and I’m not sure how I’m in a chair now, but I am. I struggle with the top, but get it open, splashing a little on my shirt, before guzzling down the cold liquid.
“This is good.” I grin at the bottle.
“Wow, how much has he had?” I hear a female voice that I’m instantly drawn to. Turning around, I see Ethan get up and walk over to Sasha, who looks like she just got off work.
“Too much,” Ethan responds. “Sasha?” She nods. “Thanks for coming.”
“Sure.” She looks over at me. “And why couldn’t you take him home?”
