Taking a sip of my now-cold coffee, I closed my eyes and pictured Olive. Her shiny dark hair that looked just like Margot’s had at that age. Her big brown eyes, where were clearly all Jessie. Her chubby little cheeks and the way she squeaked and squawked and chirped whenever she was excited about something, like a baby bird.
The fear I’d felt in my heart that night she had spent in the hospital, even though I knew it was just bronchitis and nothing to really be afraid of. The tenderness that had swelled in my heart when I’d read to her and she’d fallen asleep.
Fuck, I thought. I’m such a mess right now.
And as upset as I was, I could only think of how confused little Olive was feeling. Introducing a child to a new partner who just happens to be their parent is a hell of a big thing, and Jessie hadn’t exactly waited. How was Olive coping with having just met her father to lose him?
The thought hurt my heart so much that I felt a physical ache in my chest.
Suddenly, a thought popped into my head. Once Jessie had made me watch a chick flick with her, The Notebook, where the male lead fixes up a house in hopes of winning his girlfriend back.
I had been thinking about buying a house for us, but I’d assumed that Jessie would want to approve and give input.
Now, I began thinking about buying a house for her and making it her dream home.
If that wasn’t a grand, romantic gesture, then I had no idea what was.
I drained the rest of my coffee, set the mug down on the table, and grabbed my laptop. Immediately, I started researching and hunting, looking at large Victorian homes that needed some work. There was one that was almost perfect – painted pale yellow with cream trim, with turrets and a wide, wrap-around porch that Jessie would love. The inside needed a lot of TLC, but I felt that if I hired the right crew, it would be absolutely beautiful. The master suite even had an adjacent nursery and immediately, I thought how gorgeous Jessie would have looked when she was pregnant with Olive.
I wanted more children with her. I wanted to have a house full of our kids, loud and rowdy and filled with love. I knew that she’d always wanted a family as big as the one as she grew up in, and it killed me that we’d had to waste so much time being apart.
For the first time in almost a month, a grin spread across my face as I pictured it. Driving Jessie and Olive up to the house for the first time, making them close their eyes like Jessie had made me do before surprising me with Taco Bell. How they’d open their eyes and look at the house in shock and amazement as I told them that it was ours now, that we’d live there forever.
It was an ambitious plan, but Jessie was worth it. I would have done anything for her.
Hell, I would’ve even built a house on the moon.
I sent a few emails to realtors, describing what I was looking for. Just as I was looking into repairmen and electricians and carpenters, there was a knock on the door.
I frowned. Margot, I thought as I got to my feet. She’s come over here to chew me out for acting like a total asshole last night. I rolled my eyes, feeling a twinge of my hangover come rushing back.
I knew I deserved it, but I didn’t love the prospect of getting yelled at by my younger sister. The knock sounded again as I walked down the hall, impatient and persistent.
But when I opened the door, Margot wasn’t standing on the other side.
It was Jessie, with a tearful expression on her face and Olive in her arms.
“I need to talk to you,” Jessie said urgently. She pushed her way into my condo and I stared in shock as she set Olive down to the ground.
“Jess, I—”
“No,” Jessie said. She held up a hand and shook her head, motioning for me to be quiet. After clearing her throat, she looked deeply into my eyes and I felt a surge of intense affection rush through my body.
“I saw your mother,” Jessie said. She bit her bottom lip and swallowed hard. “At the grocery store. Like, a month ago.”
I narrowed my eyes in confusion. “My mother?”
Jessie nodded quickly. “Yeah. And, um, like, I know that we don’t get along but I also remembered how I was kind of a jerk to her in the past because I knew she didn’t like me. You know? Like, I wasn’t exactly polite. And I knew the mature thing to do would be to go up and say hi to her, because, well, we’re family now.”
I stared at her.
“And she was, like, decent and all, but still really cold. And I grew up without grandparents and I don’t want the same for Olive, I want her to have a big family with a lot of diversity and stuff.”
“And, like, I was trying to break the ice and make a joke and I said something about how we’ll have to get along now, for Olive’s sake, and then she told me that that couldn’t possibly be true, because you just got engaged.”
My jaw dropped. “What the fuck,” I growled. Hot anger towards my mother grew inside of me and I reached into my pocket for my phone but Jessie stopped me. She reached for my arm and grabbed it. The sensation of her soft, warm hands against my skin sent a jolt of electricity down my spine and despite my hangover and the intense moment – or maybe because of it – I felt a rush of lust overwhelm me.
“No,” Jessie said, shaking her head. “Don’t call her. At least, not right now.” She pressed her juicy lips together. “Hear me out, okay?”
I clenched my jaw. It suddenly occurred to me that the situation between us was reversed. When I’d first come back, I’d had to beg Jessie to listen to me instead of acting.
Now, she was doing the same thing. Despite the raging, vengeful anger I felt towards my mother – which was stronger than any anger I’d ever felt in my life – I pushed it aside and gave a slight jerk of my head, indicating for her to continue.
“And you know, at first, I’m so sorry, Ben,” Jessie said. She lowered her head. “I believed her.”
Then, Jessie raised her head and looked into my eyes.
“And I’m so sorry that I did, I never should have listened. All this time that we’ve been together, everyone has been trying their damndest to yank us apart.”
I nodded.
“And I thought you’d just been screwing around with me, that you really wanted someone else,” Jessie said softly. She looked down at Olive. “I didn’t think you wanted to be a family with us anymore.”
“Jess, I want to be a family with the two of you more than anything,” I said in a low voice.
Her lower lip trembled and I saw her eyes mist with tears.
“But I was talking to my mom, telling her about the breakup, and I realized that your mom lied to me. She’d always hated me, she didn’t think I was good enough to be part of your family. And my mom, well, even she didn’t think I was good enough. That made me realize the truth.”
Jessie paused, holding her breath for a long second.
“I realized that you loved me, and that you have all along,” she said. “And I’m so sorry it took me so long. I ... I don’t know what was wrong with me.”
I took her hands in mine. Jessie was trembling, her curves heaving with every breath she took. Her hair was a tangled mess and she wore no makeup.
She looked more beautiful than I’d ever seen her.
“I love you,” I told her firmly. “And honestly ... knowing that you came to that on your own, without my having to tell you, even though I tried ...” I trailed off. The fake engagement plan had been, without a doubt, the stupidest thing I’d ever come up with. Margot had been right – it had never been necessary. Jessie and I had been through everything together. We were meant to be, and nothing could ever change that.
“I love you, too,” Jessie said softly. I squeezed her hand, then released it and looked down. Olive was sitting on the floor, playing with a stuffed animal. Turning her to her, I squatted down and took one of her little hands in my own.
“What are you doing?” Jessie asked.
I didn’t answer her.
“Olive,” I began, as solemnly as I could.
“Yes?” My daughter
looked up at me, her big brown eyes shining just like Jessie’s.
“May I ask your permission to marry your mommy?”
Olive took a moment to process the request, then let out a happy squeal and began clapping her hands.
“Yes!” Olive shrieked. “Yes!”
I turned to Jessie and raised an eyebrow. “Well?” I asked. “Will you do it? Say yes and make me the happiest man alive?”
A tear ran down Jessie’s cheek and she nodded furiously before throwing herself against me and kissing me with more passion than ever before. Olive was clapping and shrieking and cheering, but I barely heard her. All I could focus on, all I could think about, was that I had finally made my way back to the love of my life.
And now, nothing would ever tear us apart again.
33
Jessie – One Month Later
“Jess, you look so gorgeous,” Henny said as she slipped into the room. Our gaze met in the mirror, and I turned around to face her.
“Really?” I asked. “You don’t think this is too casual?”
Henny shook her head. “It’s totally you,” she said. “Like you’d be caught dead in some poofy white gown.”
I laughed. “Yeah,” I said.
Henny walked closer. “You feeling okay?”
I nodded. “Yeah,” I said.
“Nervous?”
I laughed again. “A little,” I admitted. “Maybe.”
“I think that’s totally normal,” Henny said. She came closer and admired my outfit – my favorite jeans that I’d had since college and a new shirt, blue, just the color of Ben’s eyes.
Henny and I stood in the “dressing room” of the Wilmington courthouse – an office used during the week by consultants or auditors. It wasn’t much, but it was just what I wanted.
When Ben had first proposed, he’d told me to pick wherever I wanted to get married. The beach, the downtown stretch along the Cape Fear River, even Margot’s restaurant.
The only place that he’d told me was off-limits was his parents’ house.
“I doubt I’ll ever speak to my mother again, after the stunt she pulled,” Ben had told me.
Even though I had been angry at his mother, too, I didn’t want that. I wanted Olive to grow up with as many people around her who loved her as possible.
“And you think she’ll love Olive?”
“Who couldn’t not love Olive,” I’d countered.
In the end, we’d settled on a justice of the peace at the courthouse. The beach would have been nice, but it was still early spring and not nearly warm enough. Plus, then I’d have felt pressured to invite more people.
This way, it could just be us.
Well, us and Olive for a flower girl and Henny and Jared and Margot. No parents, we’d decided.
“It’s almost time,” Henny said as she checked the time on her phone. “You ready?”
I nodded. “I’ve been ready for this for years,” I admitted. “But now ... well, it finally feels right. Does that make sense?”
“Of course,” Henny said. She nodded. “Absolutely.”
I turned my attention back to the mirror, fiddling with my brown curls. The sound of the door opening made me start and I gasped to see Ben, looking stunningly hot in a pair of dark jeans and a black button-down shirt that fitted his muscular abdomen perfectly.
“You can’t be in here!” Henny cried. “You can’t see the bride before the wedding!”
Ben smirked and chuckled. “Yeah, well, I was about to see her in a few minutes anyway,” he said. “We have to wait in line together, don’t we?”
Henny flushed.
“Can I have a moment alone?” Ben asked me.
I raised an eyebrow at him. “What is it?”
Ben grinned. “A surprise,” he said. “Come on. Please?”
I blushed. “Okay,” I said. “Sure.”
Henny winked at me from over Ben’s shoulder before slipping out of the room and closing the door behind her.
“I have something for you,” Ben said. He was still grinning at me as he stepped closer and took a small box from his pocket.
“What is it?” I asked softly.
He chuckled. “You have to open it,” he said. “Please.”
I giggled nervously as I flipped open the lid of the box. Inside was a ring – a gorgeous, platinum band with three round gemstones in a bezel setting.
“Ben,” I said, looking from the ring to him. “You’re supposed to give this to me at the wedding. Not before.”
Ben laughed. “I know, babe,” he said. “But I have another ring for that. I didn’t have a ring when I proposed, so I had this one custom made for you.”
I felt tears well up in my eyes and I blinked, hoping I wouldn’t cry off all of my mascara before it was actually time to get married.
“It’s our birthstones,” Ben explained as he pulled the ring from its velvet nest and gently slid it onto my finger. “Yours, mine, and Olive’s. Sapphire, ruby, and topaz.”
“Oh my god,” I said softly. “Ben ... that’s so sweet, I can’t handle it.” The gesture was so touching, so thoughtful, so Ben, that it filled me with love and gratitude. No one had ever done anything like that for me before, and I knew that I’d treasure my new ring for the rest of my life.
Ben pulled me close and gave me a tender kiss that sent a flame of desire licking through my body. He smelled so good that I moaned softly into his mouth. Ben ran his hands down my back and squeezed my ass, groaning and pressing his body against mine.
“Think we have a chance for a quickie before the ceremony?” Ben teased, his teeth nibbling at my earlobe, making me shiver.
“Ben, you’re so bad,” I moaned, throwing my head back and letting him plant a row of scorching kisses down the side of my neck. His lips met my collarbone and I gasped softly as I felt him kiss me gently, then bite.
“I know, baby,” Ben growled. “But the things you do to me, my god.”
I shivered. Pushing him off was the hardest thing I’d ever done – I was suddenly, maddeningly horny – but I did it, gently.
“We have to get married before you get another piece of this,” I teased.
Ben groaned. “You’re killing me,” he said, clapping a hand to his forehead. Then, he dropped the act and raised an eyebrow at me. “Not the worst thing in the world, though. I want to take my time with you.”
His words made me shiver with desire and I swallowed hard, already regretting turning him down.
I didn’t have too much time to dwell on that, though. In a matter of seconds, the door opened again and Margot stuck her head inside.
“It’s time to go, kids,” she said, smiling at me as Ben and I walked past her.
I returned the smile. Ben took my hand and the three of us joined Jared, Henny, and Olive who looked adorable in her flower girl dress – the only “real” wedding tradition that I’d wanted. She even had a basket – her Easter basket from the year before, filled with rose petals from Jared’s garden.
As my family – both blood and found – walked down the hall to the justice of the peace’s office, my heart was filled with love and happiness. The nervous butterflies I’d felt fluttering around in my stomach before Ben had given me the ring were completely gone, replaced only with excitement. The justice of the peace showed us into his office, where he had me, Ben, and Olive stand in front of him.
I barely remember saying my vows – all I could do was stare at Ben’s face. Look into the sapphire-blue eyes of the man who loved me so much. The man who was the father of my daughter.
The man who I never wanted to let out of my sight ever again.
“You may now kiss the bride,” the justice of the peace said. Ben pulled me into his arms and dipped me into a low kiss. As Olive and Henny giggled, Jared let out a piercing wolf-whistle that made me blush.
“We’re married now,” I whispered to Ben, putting my hands to the side of his face and kissing him again.
“Damn right we are,” Ben gr
owled, in a voice too low for anyone to hear. I flushed happily as he took my hand and lifted it up into the air. Margot, Henny, and Jared cheered.
Even the justice of the peace looked oddly touched as my small group left the room. When we emerged from the courthouse, Margot turned to me and cleared her throat.
“Jess, I know we haven’t been really close,” she said, looking somewhat guilty.
“Margot, where’s this going,” Ben said irritably. “Come on – it’s our wedding day. Let’s enjoy it.”
“I am, idiot,” Margot said, rolling her eyes. I had to hide a giggle behind my hand as she turned back to me. “But I want to make up for lost time, okay? I want to really get to know you ... I know that you have a lot of sisters, but I don’t have any. And now I do,” she said.
I felt my eyes getting misty again and I sniffled, feeling more than a little embarrassed. I wasn’t a crier, and I’d come close to crying three times in a single day.
What the fuck was happening to me?
“That ... means so much,” I said. “Really. It does.”
Margot smiled, and I smiled back.
“Which is why I got my restaurant to close for the day, except to us,” Margot continued. “We’re all heading there for a celebratory dinner right now.”
As she spoke, the look on Ben’s face changed from annoyed to loving and proud, almost the way he looked at Olive.
“Margot, that’s really awesome,” Ben said. “Seriously.”
She turned to him and smiled. “Happy wedding, big bro,” she said. “Finally.”
“Finally?” I blinked.
“Nothing,” Ben said hastily. He pulled me in for a kiss. “I just love you, that’s all.”
The group of us walked to the restaurant, Ben carrying Olive after she complained about her new sandals hurting her feet. I felt like I was on top of the world as we made our way down the sunny sidewalk. Everyone seemed to be in a good mood, and I had to resist the urge to smile at complete strangers and tell them that I’d just married the love of my life.
Forbidden First Times: A Contemporary Romance Collection Page 80
