There was still no response – no laughter, no applause, nothing. Annie was blushing furiously as her eyes traveled the length of my body, not even bothering to hide the fact that she was checking me out. But from her anonymous position at the back of the room, no one else could see her and somehow, that made it feel even hotter. The fact that she wanted me so much that she felt comfortable being so bold in a room full of strangers was an intoxicating rush, and it was a struggle not to start counting the moments until I could see her alone again.
“So, um, thanks,” I finished lamely. “Welcome aboard. If you need any help, our human resources department is a great resource for that.” I waved, as jauntily and carefree as I could, then stepped back from the podium where Pam was waiting for me.
“Elliot,” she said nervously. “What was that?”
I narrowed my eyes. “That was my little welcoming speech,” I said. “But I wish you’d told me that you were planning on having them sit in today. I felt more than a little underprepared.”
“What about your speech to the board?” Pam pressed.
Oh, fuck me running, I thought. Had I seriously been so taken with Annie’s nearby presence that I’d completely forgotten about that?
Fuck, I thought. If this is just her first day here and I’m already so disorganized, how the fuck am I going to handle actually working with her?
The only comforting thought in that moment was the realization that I wouldn’t be working with Annie at all – that hopefully, that likely, I wouldn’t even see her most days.
“Sorry,” I said to Pam, flashing her a charming smile. “I’ll go ahead and take care of that. Why not get the new hires off to orientation?”
“I was sort of hoping they could see how you speak to the board,” Pam said, flushing slightly. “It might get them really excited for their work here.”
Great. Just fucking great.
The day seemed to last forever – eight and a half hours stretched into an ending span of what felt like at least a solid thirty years. Normally, I kept so busy at work that the time would fly by and I’d look up to realize that it had been dark for hours.
But today was different. I kept thinking about Annie, walking around on some floor below, her ass swaying and bouncing with every step of her pretty little feet. I kept thinking about the way her big eyes had locked on my gaze and refused to let go. She had acted so obvious and blatant during the meeting that Pam had even taken me aside and asked if we knew each other.
I was dying to go home and have a drink by the end of the day. Walking out to the parking garage, I got behind the wheel of my Jaguar and pointed the car in the direction of home. Knowing that Annie was even closer at home than at work was a new kind of agonizing – I wanted her so bad in that moment that I actually had to stop myself from crossing the yard and knocking on the front door. But the lights were out and no cars were in the driveway, and I told myself that it was for the best before going into my own house and shutting the door behind me.
Kicking off my shoes, I went into my office and poured myself a drink – a double bourbon, neat – and took a long swallow. As the liquor burned its way down my throat, I closed my eyes and let out a loud groan.
This wasn’t sustainable – something was going to have to change. I wanted Annie and yet, it wasn’t like we had the freedom to even be open about our attraction to each other. Sitting down behind my desk, I took another long swallow of bourbon and reached for my phone.
I didn’t have many friends – a fact that made me feel all the guiltier when I remembered that Rob was dead – but there was one man who I knew I could trust more than anyone else in the world, one man who I could say anything to and not have to worry about being judged.
Andy, the man who had been my divorce attorney. We hadn’t been friends at the time, but he was divorced himself and we’d gotten fairly close over the year and a half the proceedings had taken. He was the closest thing that I’d had to a mentor since I’d been in graduate school, and I didn’t want to go running to him with this particular problem, exactly.
But it wasn’t like I had anywhere else to go.
“Elliot?” Andy asked, sounding almost confused when he answered the call. “Don’t tell me that you’re in need of my services again,” he added with a chuckle.
I nearly groaned again. “No,” I said. “It’s nothing like that.”
There was a pause.
“I do have a problem, though,” I admitted.
“Oh, yeah?” Andy sounded almost amused and I could tell by the relaxed tone of his voice that I’d caught him in the middle of his own cocktail. Swigging down the rest of my bourbon for courage, I cleared my throat.
“I’m seeing someone, but there are some ... problems,” I said.
“Like, let me guess,” Andy replied drily. “She’s more interested in your line of credit than anything else?”
“God, no,” I said quickly. “She’s great. But she’s young enough to be my daughter. She’s actually the daughter of the people – er, the woman – who lives next door.”
“So, I don’t see the problem,” Andy said blithely. “You’re both adults, yes?”
“She works at my company,” I groaned. “I just saw her for the first time today.”
There was a beat.
“And she’s got a kid,” I said.
“I knew there was something,” Andy countered.
“Young, too,” I said. “A toddler. Cute, but young. We ... we had a thing a few years back and then she disappeared after we got in this dumb fight.”
“Oh, Jesus, man,” Andy groaned. “You’re asking for it. That’s an unholy trinity of things that are just going to cause so much drama. It’s not worth it, Elliot.”
I sighed. I didn’t know what to say, other than that I wanted another massive drink after hearing that.
“And look – I don’t want to be too blunt, man, but if you thought everything was perfect between the two of you, you wouldn’t have called me.”
I reached for the bourbon and poured myself another glass. “I don’t mind that she has a kid,” I said. “But things between us were so intense – and it was a secret, I didn’t want her dad beating my ass, you know? And then she left and now she’s back, and—”
“Dude,” Andy replied. “This is classic. She probably went off with some other guy and it didn’t work out and now she’s back here, hoping for a second chance because you’re so stable.”
My stomach churned at his words. I didn’t want to believe that of Annie and besides, Andy didn’t know her like I did. Suddenly, I was beginning to regret having called my old friend. In all the years since I’d first met Annie, I hadn’t talked about her with literally anyone. And now, telling Andy about her, I felt like the magic and energy was getting sucked out of our relationship.
If you could even call it that. I felt like the more I said, the more polluted and uncertain things became.
“You know what, I’ve gotta run,” I said suddenly, interrupting Andy mid-stream of advice.
“Don’t be pissed off,” Andy said. He sighed. “Maybe I was being harsh, okay? But she sounds like trouble. The age thing alone! How old is she, anyway?”
“Twenty-six,” I said weakly.
“I couldn’t tell my head from ass when I was twenty-six, and that was when I was in law school,” Andy said sternly. “She might seem like a sweet kid, but she’s still that. A kid. A kid with a kid of her own,” he added.
“Yeah,” I echoed. What else was there to say?
We hung up and I closed my eyes and leaned back in my chair, savoring the feel my body melting into the leather. I was so tired, so very exhausted, and I wanted nothing more than to close my eyes and sleep for years and forget that today had ever existed.
But inevitably, when I opened my eyes, Annie was standing right there, smiling her shyly sweet smile. Her eyes were twinkling seductively and she ran her hands over her curvy frame before giggling and winking at me.
God,
even my fantasy of Annie was enough to drive me wild. I realized that I didn’t just want to pull her into my arms and kiss her, although I’d have been lying if I said that I didn’t want that, too.
I wanted to start getting to know her again, to talk to her, to find out why she was really staying. As much as I knew Annie loved her mother, I knew that couldn’t have been the only reason.
I wanted to know if she wanted to give things a second chance with me, if she’d be willing to work through our issues. If she disappeared on me for another period of years, I didn’t think that I’d be able to stand it.
For the longest time, I had pushed all thoughts of my own happiness out of my head. But the universe had brought Annie and me together again, and more than that: the universe was practically pushing us together. I didn’t like to admit it, but I did believe in fate.
And seeing Annie that day, in the back of my board meeting, had maybe been the wake-up call that I had needed. Work would still be problematic, but I was smart. I could find a way to make this work.
Being with Annie would be a dream come true for me.
I had to find a way to make this work, or else risk losing her all over again.
22
Annie
“Hey, are you sure that you’re okay?”
I glanced up from my lunch – a sandwich that I’d brought from home, wrapped in wax paper – and blushed. The pretty, dark-haired girl from the board meeting that morning was standing next to me.
“Mind if I sit with you,” she asked, pausing and putting her hand on the back of the empty chair next to me.
I was sitting in one of the many kitchens in the Empire offices. Each was equipped with tons of perks: free coffee and tea, free bottled water and sparkling water. There was even a selection of healthy snacks – fruit and whole-grain crackers and veggie sticks – arranged artfully in baskets. To me, it was almost kind of crazy that a company was willing to give their employees so much free stuff.
But I’d never exactly worked at a company like Empire, either. And to be honest, work perks were the last thing on my mind. All I could think about was Elliot, and how shocked I’d been to see him come into the conference room earlier.
In all of the time that Elliot and I had spent together, it wasn’t exactly like we’d done much talking. And the truth was, he probably had mentioned that he worked for Empire.
In all likelihood, he had, and I had just been too distracted and horny to notice. Since leaving the conference room after a speech Elliot gave to the other board members (and a speech that I couldn’t recall a single word of), we’d been herded into a room with long tables and given forms to fill out. Taxes and payroll and all kinds of things – even an emergency contact form, where I had listed my mother. Another woman from human resources had come into the room and started talking about ethics training and sexual harassment prevention classes that we’d be required to take within the next couple of weeks, but I had barely listened to her. My mind had been solely focused on Elliot. How gorgeous he’d looked, with his hair swept back over his forehead and his intense green eyes flicking over my curves.
How just days before, we’d lain in each other’s arms, doing things that made me blush just to think about.
“Well?” The girl asked, gently but with a touch of confusion.
“Sure,” I said after a moment, blushing furiously and moving my stuff over. “I don’t mind.”
“I’m Evelyn,” she said. “Hey, I know this might sound weird and intrusive, but are you okay? You’ve seemed really out of it.” When I didn’t answer, she giggled softly. “I shouldn’t be telling you this because wow, you could judge me for it, but I was hungover on my first day of work once, too. At my old job. I think I lasted there for ... six months before they fired me,” she admitted, gnawing on her lip and blushing. “I should have tried harder to put in a good first impression. You know, I got up at five-thirty this morning? Just to get ready?”
“Oh, I’m not hungover,” I said quickly.
Evelyn raised an eyebrow at me. “Could’ve fooled me.”
“I’m really not,” I told her hastily. “I’ve really only been drunk a handful of times in my life, and I—” I paused mid-sentence, unsure of why I was explaining myself to a stranger. Evelyn seemed nice, but now I was worried – if I had truly been that obvious, what did Elliot think?
He probably hates me, I thought.
“I’m not hungover,” I repeated finally. “I just didn’t sleep well last night and things have been kind of crazy at home lately. But I’m really happy to be here. Honest.”
The truth was, seeing Elliot had made me second-guess taking the job. If Elliot was an actual board member, there was no way that he and I would ever see each other again socially. He would get fired – or worse, arrested – for dating a subordinate, especially a lowly assistant like me.
And as happy as I’d been to have gotten this job, the stakes just weren’t as high for me. I wondered if I shouldn’t quit, if I shouldn’t just go straight to HR and say that there had been a mistake.
And then I remembered how Pam had clearly put herself on the line for me and I was wracked with guilt.
Evelyn unzipped a lunch bag and took out an apple. As she took a bite, she leaned back in her chair.
“So,” she began. “If you’re not hungover, what’s wrong?”
“I’m just nervous,” I lied. “And today is ... I don’t know, kind of weird, right? Like the first day of school?”
Evelyn laughed. “Just like the first day of school,” she replied, chewing thoughtfully.
Except I never wanted to fuck the principal on my first day of school, I thought as I bit the inside of my mouth to keep from blushing. Elliot had looked so wickedly sexy that morning.
Had he been staring at me because he still wanted me?
Or because he was just so stunned to see me in his office?
The week moved on, slowly at first and then faster. I hadn’t told my mom about Elliot yet – I knew that I’d have to come clean eventually, but I didn’t want her getting any ideas.
Hell, I didn’t want myself getting any ideas.
Orientation only lasted a couple of days and then the higher-ups. I was assigned to assist a woman named Linda, a no-nonsense woman in her early fifties and although she could be kind of blunt, I found that I respected her a lot. She reminded me of a more professional version of my mother, but it wasn’t like I could say that without sounding like a total kid.
That Thursday, I was eating lunch at my cubicle outside of Linda’s office when Evelyn came up and rapped on the wall.
“Hey, you,” she said. “A bunch of us are going to get drinks after work. Thirsty Thursday,” she added. “You wanna join?”
I shook my head. “I can’t,” I said.
Evelyn raised an eyebrow at me and draped herself over the wall of my cube.
“I know it’s none of my business,” she said. “But you should get to know your coworkers. You wouldn’t want us all to start being really good friends and start hanging out with you, would you?”
I could have laughed – not in a mean way, of course. But I still hadn’t told anyone at work about Lilah, and I wasn’t exactly in a hurry to disclose that I was a single mom who lived with her own mother.
“I know,” I said, feeling more than a slight twinge of guilt. “But I have plans.”
“Good for you,” Evelyn said appraisingly. “Who is he?”
“Sorry?”
“The guy,” Evelyn said. She smirked. “You have a date, no?”
Before I could answer her, my desk phone rang.
“I’ll wait,” Evelyn mouthed, motioning for me to answer. I peered down at the caller ID and frowned – so far, the only person who had called me at my cubicle was Linda, and this definitely wasn’t her number.
“This is Annie,” I said as I answered.
“Annie, it’s Elliot.”
The sound of his voice sent a hot shiver of lust down my spine and
I nearly gasped as a warm feeling blossomed in my stomach. I couldn’t believe that he’d done something this reckless, calling me at my cube right outside of Linda’s door!
“Um, hi,” I said.
“Can I take you to dinner,” Elliot asked. “It doesn’t have to be tonight. But I want to see you, Annie.”
My heart was thumping in my chest like a jackrabbit as I covered the received and turned to Evelyn.
“Do you mind if I get back to you in a bit,” I asked her. “I’ve got to take this.”
Evelyn looked annoyed but obediently walked away. As soon as she was out of sight, I let out a huge rush of air and put the phone back to my ear.
“Sorry about that,” I said. “It was just a friend. She stopped by to ask me to happy hour.”
Elliot snorted. “Are you going to go?”
“I can’t go,” I said quietly into the phone. “I have a daughter, remember?”
We have a daughter, I thought instantly after speaking. Not just me.
We. The twinge of guilt I’d felt at having to decline Evelyn’s plans multiplied tenfold within me, until I was feeling nearly sick to my stomach. I knew that I needed to tell him the truth – especially now, now that he was asking me out!
I just wished that I knew him well enough to predict how he would respond. Maybe everything would be fine. But maybe he would go nuclear and tell the whole company and then, I’d definitely lose my job. When I pictured the disappointed look on Pam’s face as she would fire me for having a child with a board member, I almost felt like throwing up.
“Well, there’s always your mother,” Elliot said, and I suddenly sensed that he was probing deeper than just happy hour.
He’s trying to figure out if I’m single, I realized.
The thought made me more elated than it should have.
“She watches her most of the day,” I said. “Lilah only has half-day pre-school right now.”
“I see,” Elliot said. His voice, deep and silky, filled me with pleasure just from the sheer sound of it.
Forbidden First Times: A Contemporary Romance Collection Page 95
