The walk home was long, Gran unerringly stepping over every single trap, but I found myself glancing over my shoulder every few steps. The further we got from the border the more my feet dragged. The urge to go back intensified and I faltered. Paige’s hand slipped into mine, squeezing gently. He’ll come back, she assured me and the churning in my stomach worsened.
That’s what I’m afraid of, I replied tartly, straightening my back. He’s going to get himself killed.
I don’t know, Paige mused. He seems to have more lives than a cat.
I snorted, amused in spite of myself. He is unnaturally lucky.
He must be since he won your heart, Paige chortled, dashing away when I swiped at her.
A few minutes later, we entered the village to find everyone gathered around a spit. The smell of roasting meat filled the air and my mouth watered. Greetings filled the air when they saw Gran, several bobbing their heads toward her. She smiled, the queen amongst her subjects as they parted, eager to have her in their midst. Paige followed in her wake receiving welcoming smiles that quickly faded as I brought up the rear.
Plates appeared piled high with succulent meat which Gran accepted graciously, passing one to each of us as the villagers gave me a wide berth. I used my fingers to stuff several bites in my mouth, the meat burning my tongue, but too starved to slow down.
Gran sighed impatiently when she caught sight of me and Paige hid a grin, daintily using a knife and fork. Awkward silence fell over the clearing, several casting wary glances toward me. I paused mid-bite, the meat falling from my fingertips as my appetite disappeared.
Ignore them, Paige pleaded, covering my hand with hers. Stay and they’ll get used to you.
I looked up, the sky above blurring for a second. I doubt that, I commented, striving for a light tone, but falling flat. It’s been thirty years. I don’t think one more meal is going to change anyone’s mind. I stood up, the motion too fast to be human, and one of the women skittered backwards, the plate in her hand falling to the ground. Everyone stared at me and Paige pressed her lips together, regret shining in her eyes as I slowly backed away. I’ll be at home, I told her and she nodded, this time not bothering to stop me. I took the plate with me, finishing it off before I’d reached the house.
I dumped the empty dish in the sink and stood there, staring at the wall blankly. Again, I asked myself if I was doing the right thing by staying in a place where everyone feared me. Did I really think Gran would make Paige suffer for my absence?
This morning, I would have unequivocally said yes, but now I wasn’t so sure. Today, a crack had appeared in the shell Gran had maintained for most of my life, and I was starting to realize my existence was more complicated than I’d ever imagined.
I pressed the heel of my palm against my eyes, cursing their differences and my inability to do anything about it. I lowered my hands, grime coating my fingertips as I rubbed them together, and sighed. I debated heating water for a bath, but decided it would take too long. A cold shower would be sufficient for me, but I went ahead and filled the tub, starting a fire underneath so the water would be hot when Paige came home.
I set the shower to a trickle as I scrubbed my skin roughly, working under my fingernails and toenails, and combing the soap through my hair. My skin pebbled in the cold air, but I didn’t stop until every inch of me was clean. I turned up the water, letting the ice cold water drench me, the filthy water swirling down the drain under my feet. My toes curled but I stood under the water until it ran clear. The rusty knob screeched as I twisted it off and I grabbed a worn towel to dry myself. The rough cotton scratched my skin, turning it red as I vigorously rubbed it all over me, warming myself.
A simple, white shift hung on a hook, and I pulled it over my head and padded into the small room I shared with Paige. A low fire burned so I added a few logs, stirring until the flames licked higher, warming the room. I crawled into my bed, tugging an old quilt over me as I settled into the lumpy mattress. Sleep eluded me though as the memory of the wolf shifters refused to leave me.
I knew they’d come for Caleb and he was safe with them, but I hadn’t expected the deep yearning I’d feel to go with them. My wolf had whined, recognizing her kind, and it had taken every ounce of my strength not to shift and join them. She wanted to prance, play, and run with a pack, a longing I thought I’d buried so deep it was gone, but seeing them had proven me wrong.
I rubbed my face against the threadbare sheet, pressing until I had to lift my head and gasp for air, but it did nothing to curb the need to run. I curled myself into a ball, forcing myself to stay still as I stared at the unadorned log walls, each breath slower than the last as I counted each crack, all eight hundred and ninety-two of them.
***
Something jolted me awake and I lifted my head, thinking Paige coming in had woken me, but when I glanced at her bed, I could see her sleeping peacefully, and the fire had died down to ember. I scooted out of the bed, surprised she’d come in without waking me, and went to the fireplace, wondering what had woken me. I added another log to the fire so it wouldn’t go out and seeing only a couple logs left, decided to go get more. I glanced at the door, but didn’t want to risk waking Gran so I went to the window instead, easing the sash open and slipping outside.
I hurried to the stack of wood, but a light at the back door gave me pause. I slipped closer and was startled to hear raised voices. I ducked out of sight as Strickland came to the door, his expression angry and, I narrowed my eyes as I realized, nervous. What would cause Strickland to be nervous, I wondered, and who was he arguing with?
Gran’s stern face appeared behind him and I ducked closer to the wall, afraid she might see me spying. “I’ll deal with it,” she stated with finality, but Strickland’s face turned mutinous.
“You let him go,” he accused and Gran’s mouth flattened. “What am I supposed to do? They want what they paid for.”
“You will do nothing. I have already said I’ll handle it,” she said sharply, her tone brooking no argument. He opened his mouth, ready to protest, and she snapped her fingers in front of his lips, sealing them shut. “We are done.” His eyes widened as he struggled to pry his lips apart, but it was no use, I knew. She’d done it to me a dozen times and until the magic wore off, his lips were literally sealed. He sucked air in through his noise, his eyes burning and she wiggled her fingers in a shooing motion. “Don’t make me force your obedience,” she warned, while looking entirely too delighted by the prospect. He stumbled backwards, an expression of dawning horror as he experienced firsthand what Gran was capable of when thwarted. I almost felt bad for him, but he’d been one to make my life miserable every chance he got, plus he’d been consorting with hunters.
I waited until the light was off and Strickland had disappeared far enough into the darkness even my keen eyesight couldn’t spot him, before I gathered an armful of wood and went back to the room. I laid the logs down carefully, not worried about disturbing Paige, but I wanted no reason for Gran to question if I’d potentially overheard her conversation with Strickland.
What took you so long? My hand jerked at the loud question, and one of the logs slipped out of my grip, thumping loudly, and causing me to freeze and glance at the door. Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you, Paige whispered unnecessarily in my head and I chuckled softly. I gently finished laying down the wood and turned to her.
It’s fine, I murmured, taking in her wide blue eyes peering up at me from the bed. I was just getting more wood for the fire.
You were gone a long time.
I smirked at her, tucking my feet under the quilt to warm them. Keeping tabs on me now?
She lowered her eyelashes, hiding her eyes from me as she said softly, I thought you might not come back.
My breath gusted out of as if I’d been sucker punched. Paige.
I wouldn’t blame you if you did, she rushed to say, her fingers twisting the quilt under her hands. I saw it, you know, the way you looked at them. I crawled
out of my bed and went to hers, nudging her so she’d let me slide in next to her. She scooted over, still not looking at me.
I won’t lie. It was more tempting than I realized, I admitted, the words coming out easier under the cloak of darkness. But it still wasn’t enough to make me leave you. Her head nestled next to mine as our fingers wove together, the position a familiar one since we’d done it a thousand times growing up. I wish there was an easy answer, Paige, but life….it doesn’t work that way.
Then why do all the stories end with happily ever after?
Because, I paused, exhaling as I tried to find the right words, because happiness is a choice…one that belongs to each of us. The words came out haltingly, but I knew they were true. We make our own happiness. We can’t depend on others to do it for us. We make our choices and we live with them.
But what if others dictate our choice? Paige argued and I turned my head, kissing her forehead as I told her a hard truth.
Because it’s still our choice even if we don’t like the options.
Like staying.
No, not like staying, I denied, stroking her hair. Staying….I’ll never regret staying with you, little sister.
She didn’t comment, snuggling against me. Sleep here? She asked, squeezing my hand like she had a thousand times before and I nodded, no longer sleepy, but content to lay there with her until she fell asleep.
Thoughts chased themselves in a never ending loop as I tried to decipher the conversation I’d overheard. I knew it must have something to do with the hunters, but my mind shied away from the implications. Logic would tell me they’d intended to sell Caleb to the hunters, but why? Why would she do that? What purpose would it serve?
Memories of other shifters she had tortured over the years drifted through my mind. I’d always assumed they’d died, but what if she’d sold them as well? And if she had, why hadn’t she done it to me?
A soft snore escaped Paige and I eased my arm out from under her, careful not to disturb her. She might not be able to hear, but all her other senses made up for the lack. I carefully got dressed, shoving my feet into a pair of too tight boots, and wiggled my toes uncomfortably. I wasn’t used to wearing shoes, but tonight I wasn’t running, I was hunting and I wanted to make damn sure they heard me coming.
***
My first stop left me frustrated when I didn’t find him, and my plodding pace in the boots irritated me until I finally yanked them off and left them at the edge of the forest. Once my toes were free to dig into the soft earth, I could breathe again. It only took a few deep breaths to pick up his trail and I stalked him to a clearing where he was talking on a phone.
I cocked my head, surprised, since I’d thought only Gran kept a phone. “Full of secrets, aren’t you, Strickland?” I murmured, watching him intently.
“Don’t worry. I have it. I just need time.” He paused, listening to whoever spoke and through I strained I couldn’t pick up on the other person’s words. “Trust me, this is better.”
His heart beat faster than normal and the sickly scent of nerves filled the air as he defied Gran and betrayed all of us. My fingers curled into my palms as my nails lengthened, growing sharp and deadly and as he ended the call, I crept up behind him.
He froze as a single nail settled on his jugular, the slightest pressure enough to send it piercing through his skin and ending his life. “Whatcha doing, Strickland?” I whispered in his ear then watched as a bead of sweat trickled down his temple. “It sounded oh so interesting.”
“No-nothing,” he stammered. I hummed noncommittally. “I swear, Drusilla. It was nothing.”
I pressed the tip of my finger down until the coppery scent of blood met my nose. “I’m afraid I just don’t believe you.”
“It was the hunters,” he burst out. “The same ones you saw me with in the woods the other day.” I retracted my nail from his throat at that little tidbit of news and he took the opportunity to spin away from me. He held up his hands, keeping a careful eye on me. “I knew you were there after I saw the boars. Those dumbasses,” he shook his head, “They wouldn’t know a wolf kill from a bear kill, much less that those two boars didn’t kill each other.”
“You didn’t say anything,” I commented, clicking my still lethally sharp nails together as I considered this new information.
“No, I’m not stupid,” he retorted, his jowls jiggling as he dabbed the sweat off his forehead. “Your Gran would have strung me up by my ball sack.”
I raised an eyebrow. “I can assure you she would have done far worse.”
He nodded, staring at me with new respect. “You’re right.” He swallowed hard. “I underestimated her.”
I rolled my eyes. “Everyone does.” I pointed a finger at him. “But I’m more interested in why you’re still talking to the hunters. You don’t have anything they want.”
A flash of regret crossed his face and adrenaline surged through me. “She’ll kill me, I know that.” I tensed, prepared to shift but he was faster, the dart silent as it hit me and I crumpled slowly. He walked up to me, but I couldn’t move. “I’m sorry, Dru. I am.” He shook his head. “They don’t pay if you don’t show up with the goods,” he explained, patting my hand. I could feel his touch but couldn’t react and rage splintered through me. “Margaret says the boy needs medicine. Medicine that cost money. Selling wolf shifters is the only way to make money.” I wanted to argue, but speech was impossible, and all I could manage was a grunt and he closed his eyes. “At least you can rest easy knowing your Gran will kill me for what I am about to do.”
I wasn’t about to rest easy knowing he was selling me to hunters completely helpless, not when I was regretting not killing him myself. I tried to move my limbs to no avail, wiggling my fingers was impossible and I wanted to scream in frustrated rage, but I couldn’t do that either! He hooked his arms under my shoulders and started to drag me, my butt bumping over every root. I heard him panting in exertion and wanted to yell at him that I didn’t weigh that much.
Dru? Paige’s sleepy voice broke through my internal ranting and I didn’t hesitate.
Go back to sleep.
Where are you?
Patrolling, I lied, wincing internally when a broken branch caught on my leg, slicing the skin open.
You’re lying.
No, I’m not.
Yes, you are.
Go back to sleep, I ordered in exasperation.
What are you hiding? She asked instead, her voice more alert.
Nothing. I swear. I just needed to clear my head. I wasn’t lying about the clearing my head part and she must have sensed the honesty because she let it go.
I thought you were in trouble. I was dreaming and you were shouting, she sounded puzzled and I had to calm my heartbeat so I didn’t tip her off that everything wasn’t alright.
It was just a dream, I assured her.
Okay, she replied, accepting my answer and I ignored the guilt that formed. I love you.
I love you, too, I said automatically, hoping it wouldn’t be the last time I had a chance to tell her. I’ll see you soon.
I glared at Strickland since it was about the only thing I could do but he astutely avoided my gaze. This went on for a while, my butt bruised and battered from being dragged, when he stopped to wipe the sweat off his face. He came around, his face flushed and looked at me for the first time. I tried to convey every ounce of the emotions I couldn’t express through my eyes and he nodded, glancing away.
“I don’t blame you.” Fury flashed through me, but he wasn’t through. “I’m not proud of this, but I have to take care of my own. If your Gran had just taken care of you when you were born…..well none of this would be necessary.” My blue eye started to glow and he stepped back warily. “Look, what I gave you will wear off in about two hours. They don’t know that.” He must have read the question in my eyes because he looked away. “I know what you’ve done for the village. Your hunting has been the difference between life and death for most.
They might not know it, but I do.” Some of my anger drained away. “If it wasn’t for my grandson, I wouldn’t do this.” I could see the sincerity in his eyes and had to look away. I understood exactly how far a person would go for someone they loved. “I can die in peace,” he continued and a niggle of regret worked its way through me, dissolving the last of my anger, but there was nothing I could do to change his outcome. He’d made his choice and now I had to make my own.
He backed away slowly, leaving me lying there paralyzed, but now I knew I had a fighting chance. I just needed to bide my time.
Chapter Fourteen
Caleb
I planted my feet on the ground, my back cracking as I stretched, unused to sleeping in an actual bed. I patted the soft mattress, unable to stop myself from imagining Dru sprawled across it. I squeezed my eyes shut, pinching the bridge of my nose, but it did nothing to wipe the image from my mind, my memory bringing every detail of her body into focus, including the scent of her. My eyes popped open to make sure she wasn’t actually there, but only wrinkled sheets met my gaze and I shoved myself off the bed, my body uncomfortably tight.
A knock on the door had me reaching for a pair of sweats as I called, “One sec.” I had no idea who might be on the other side of the door and had no intention of giving Dom’s kids an eyeful. Nudity was a natural state for shifters but I hadn’t run with the Pack in….I started adding it up in my head and a sigh gusted out of me. Too long. The answer was too long.
I pulled the door open, instantly grateful I’d decided on pants when a pair of golden eyes stared up at me. “Hi,” I said as she thrust something in my hand and then darted down the hall. “Bye,” I said to no one as I shoved the cookie she’d given me in my mouth and followed her down the hall.
Pure chaos met me as I entered the kitchen. Dom had a kid hanging upside down on his arm, Jess was putting platters of food on the table, and there was half a dozen kids milling around. My forehead crinkled as I asked, “How many kids do you have?”
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