Bridesmaids: The funniest laugh out loud rom com of 2019 – the perfect beach read!

Home > Other > Bridesmaids: The funniest laugh out loud rom com of 2019 – the perfect beach read! > Page 22
Bridesmaids: The funniest laugh out loud rom com of 2019 – the perfect beach read! Page 22

by Zara Stoneley


  ‘Sam!’

  ‘And you’re looking totally gorgeous! Why did Rachel never tell me?’ He grins, and his dimples deepen. Then he leans forward and kisses me on both cheeks, Spanish-style, and I get a waft of something that smells so delectable it has to be expensive. I take a deep breath and nearly swoon. I think it’s a heady mix of aftershave, body warmth and shock from Andy’s assault. ‘You look amazing!’

  ‘You are kidding? Have you seen her hair mate? It’s bright red!’

  This time I spin round so fast that I’m surprised I don’t corkscrew into the ground. For a moment I stare, open-mouthed. Then I think I must squeal (rather loudly), because Sam covers his ears.

  ‘Freddie!’ I don’t know whether to swipe at him, laugh or cry. So instead I leap at him (well, on him, if I’m honest), and it’s like coming home as he wraps his arms round me, as his warm lips meet mine and I taste the familiar wonderful smell.

  Sam grins good-naturedly, but to be honest I hardly notice. All I can do is stare, and drink in Freddie.

  I’ve never seen him all suited and booted before, and he still looks eye-poppingly good even though I’ve dribbled down his shirt and wrapped myself round him like a boa constrictor. He must have a crease-proof coating.

  ‘You’re here!’

  ‘I’m here! Not interrupting anything am I?’ He raises an eyebrow.

  ‘Sam, Rachel’s brother.’ Sam sticks his hand out. ‘I’ll leave you guys to it, shall I?’ Then he winks at me. ‘Holler if you need anything!’

  I am turning beetroot-red, which is so not fair.

  ‘That’s Sam?’ Freddie’s eyebrow goes up another notch. ‘The one you …?’

  ‘Stop it! I was a kid, it was a crush! Gawd, I wish I hadn’t told you!’

  This is one downside of your friend becoming your boyfriend, he knows all of my secrets.

  ‘Anything else you haven’t told me?’

  ‘Nothing. Well, nothing like that.’

  Whatever Freddie and I have done wrong, we’ve never slipped up on the being honest and talking things out front. He knows nearly everything there is to know about me.

  ‘Well, Andy did try to kiss me, but I dodged, and ended up bumping into Sam.’

  ‘Try? Any contact? Should I march off and deck him?’

  ‘No mouth to mouth contact. How did you get here?’

  ‘Car.’

  ‘No, but, you’re with Rob, and you’ve not answered my calls, and …’

  ‘I was on my way back, thought I’d surprise you. That is okay?’ He looks worried.

  ‘Definitely. More than okay. My God, you look sexy!’

  ‘Sexy?’ He grins, ear to ear and he looks so happy I make a promise to myself to tell him more often.

  ‘Definitely!’ I stand back a bit so I can take another gander at him. ‘You didn’t answer my texts!’

  He looks bashful. ‘I forgot to take my phone charger, picked one up at the services on my way back and my phone practically self-combusted when I switched it back on!’

  ‘Services?’ I frown.

  ‘Motorway? Petrol?’

  ‘You went on the train!’

  ‘Well, I didn’t actually. After you’d gone and I decided to take Louie, and it seemed easier to drive. Have you ever tried to take a cat on a train?’ He grins, then it turns into a sheepish smile. ‘I missed you. I needed to see you, even if it is only for one night.’

  ‘You drove all this way, just to see me, then you’re going all the way back?’ Wow! ‘For one night?’

  He nods. ‘Must be crazy.’ Then he strokes one finger gently down my cheek and a tiny shiver runs down my spine. ‘Though I did leave Louie up there.’

  ‘Totally crazy.’ I gulp, forgiving him for leaving Louie. ‘Nobody has ever driven miles just because they miss me.’

  ‘Then they must be crazy, too.’ He drops the smallest of lingering kisses on my lips, and I want to grab him and kiss him like I’m never going to stop. Instead I just let the warm fuzzy feeling spread through my body and I smile. Like a bashful teen. He smiles back.

  How could I ever have thought I’d mess things up, that he wasn’t coming back? ‘Good job Rachel text, or I wouldn’t have known where to find you. I’d have gone all the way back home and you wouldn’t have been there!’

  Home. I like the sounds of that. Our home.

  ‘I’ll be back for the wedding though, now I’ve got an invite. If you want me to?’

  ‘Of course, I do!’ I can’t stop myself from grinning, and it does actually feel like it’s from ear to ear.

  ‘Wouldn’t miss it for the world! Something tells me it’s going to be memorable!’

  He holds out his hand. ‘Shall we grab a drink?’

  It’s a bit surreal, like an old-fashioned movie, when the guy says, ‘shall we dance?’, and the girl swoons into his arms and they do, to a full orchestra, with the moonlight shining through the open French doors, and everybody else magically evaporates.

  Except it’s real life, and I’m still feeling a bit giddy from all the weirdness of the rehearsal, and being cornered by Andy, and the shock of seeing Freddie again.

  So instead of melting into his arms, I take a deep breath and slip my hand into his. ‘Yes please, and I need help! This wedding will be memorable for all the wrong reasons if I don’t work out what the hell is going on with the bridesmaids!’

  The only safe place, I reckon, is the bathroom. I need somewhere we can’t be overheard, somewhere to sit down and think. Well, lie down I think might be a better idea. And, no, not like that. I need the cool tiles, with a wet flannel on my brow.

  My head is spinning.

  So I drag poor Freddie off to the bathroom, lock the door, then lean against it for extra safety.

  We need to come up with an action plan. I said at the start of this, that there were reasons for us girls drifting apart and now I know they were bigger than I ever imagined.

  ‘Jack is Joe’s father!’

  ‘What?’ Freddie looks at me blankly.

  ‘Jack, the one who is married to Sally, but still has a thing for Maddie!’

  ‘Busy boy!’

  ‘That’s not helpful.’

  ‘Sorry.’

  ‘He’s just so nice, I can’t believe he’s a serial shagger. I mean Michael, yeah, but Jack?’ I bury my head in my hands. Honestly, he’s just so nice, and normal. Average build, average looks, twinkly smile, kind. A safe bet you’d reckon.

  Well, it looks like everybody reckoned, not just Maddie.

  ‘How could Beth do it? How could she sleep with him? And how could she be stupid enough to let his sperm do a happy dance with her egg?’ Freddie has the hint of a smile on his face, which disappears when I glare at him.

  ‘Happy dance?’

  I ignore him. ‘I never had her down as a sneaky bitch, I mean, she’s snarky, but it’s funny not hurtful. How could she have slept with Jack, and then be pretending to be friends with Maddie?’ That’s the bit that really stings. Her buddying up with lovely, heartbroken Maddie. ‘They were in a huddle at the hen party, and she told her!’

  Freddie frowns. ‘That’s good then, isn’t it?’

  ‘Good?’

  ‘That Maddie knows about, erm, Jack.’

  ‘Oh, God, no! She didn’t tell her that, she told her about Michael and Lexie!’

  ‘Lexie?’ Freddie has a slightly startled expression on his face. ‘Michael and Lexie?’ He drags the words out slowly as though he’s tasting them, and I realise I’ve still not told him my secret. My real reason for having gnawing doubts about the whole wedding.

  ‘It’s this woman I saw him at it with in an alleyway not long before me and Andy were getting … Well, it was just before my hen party, and I was going to tell Rach and then things all went wrong, and I missed my chance, then they split and I didn’t think it mattered. And I thought,’ I run out of my breath and draw another one, ‘I was the only one that knew, but now Maddie does, and Beth does.’

  I look at him
to check he’s following, but he looks a bit dumbstruck.

  ‘So anyway, the point is, what kind of a cow is Beth if she’s having a go at Michael for being unfaithful when she’s done something just as bad? She betrayed Maddie! At least Michael only shagged Lexie once!’ I can’t believe I’m saying something slightly in Michael’s favour, or that I’m totally trusting his word on that one. ‘At least that was a one off and all forgotten, but a baby lasts for ever, doesn’t it?’ Well, not forever, but the probability is that Joe will outlive us all.

  Freddie frowns, but doesn’t say anything.

  ‘I blamed Sal for stealing Jack from Maddie! I mean I’ve never particularly liked her, but I got it totally wrong.’

  ‘Maybe not totally.’ Freddie says reasonably. ‘I mean she did, didn’t she?’

  ‘I bet it was him made the running and she just took the opportunity, like he did with Beth!’

  ‘Hang on, don’t you think you’re being a bit unfair here, jumping to conclusions. You said Jack still had a thing for Maddie, but he was doing the honourable thing and sticking with his wife, that doesn’t fit with him being a total dick does it? That’s good, isn’t it?’

  I frown. Stopped in full flow. He has a point. ‘Okay, but it doesn’t change the fact he’s Joe’s dad! This is terrible!’ This is far, far worse than telling Sal that Jack might still be holding a candle for Maddie, this is a whole firework display. ‘Should I tell her?’

  Freddie shrugs. ‘Do you need to, right now?’

  ‘Oh, God, what is it with men?’

  He raises both eyebrows.

  ‘Sorry, not you, not all men. I just …’ I sigh and sink down onto the lovely cold floor. Freddie joins me.

  ‘Look, you don’t need to do anything, do you? If Beth has told Jack he’s the daddy then it’s up to Jack to tell Sally, not you.’

  ‘But Maddie will be heartbroken.’ I bite my lip. ‘And Sal will be fuming, and they’ll all ruin Rachel’s big day!’

  ‘Maybe they won’t, maybe they’ll stay quiet until after. They’ve only got to wait a few more days!’

  ‘What if Beth gets drunk at the wedding and tells everybody?’

  I stare at him glumly, and he hugs me. I knew having Freddie here would make me feel better.

  ‘Forget them Jane, concentrate on Rachel.’

  ‘That’s the other problem though. Beth knows all about Michael and Lexie and she told Maddie, what if she says something about that?’ I never thought it would be Beth who’d be the loose cannon on the big day. ‘I need to talk to Michael, don’t I?’

  ‘Maybe you do.’ He has a slightly doubtful look on his face, which I decide to ignore. My mind is made up!

  ‘I’m going to. Right now.’ I scramble up off the floor, just as there’s a very loud knock which means I stumble and land on top of Freddie. Which he seems to think is a very good excuse for kissing me. Can’t say I have an issue with that.

  ‘Hey, are you okay?’ Somebody yells.

  ‘Fine, erm, hang on.’ I detach myself from Freddie.

  ‘Getting desperate here!’ The knocking gets a bit more frantic.

  ‘Sugar.’ I look at him, then hiss in a loud stage whisper that can probably be heard through the door. ‘Erm, this could be embarrassing, you wouldn’t, erm, mind going out of the window would you? I am chief bridesmaid, I have a rep to keep up here you know!’

  I am only half joking, but Freddie eyes up the large sash window and before I can say another word, he’s opened it. He winks. ‘Always wanted to do this! See you in a bit!’

  I flush the toilet so that the person out there knocking on the door is in doubt about what I’ve been doing, give my smeared lipstick a bit of a rub, sort my hair and try to stop myself giggling smugly. Then I open the bathroom door in as casual way as I can.

  And I can’t help myself. I groan.

  Chapter 28

  ‘Jane!’ What do they say ‘talk of the devil and the devil appears’? Oh, Gawd, I just want to go home. Back with Freddie to our little cramped flat.

  ‘Sally!’ Not the person I wanted to bump into. She peers round me, as though suspecting I might have somebody else in the bathroom with me.

  As if!

  ‘You are doing the rounds aren’t you? Making up with Andy now.’

  ‘I was not! And he’s not in there if that’s what you’re thinking. Anyway, I thought you said you were desperate.’

  ‘I can last a bit longer.’

  ‘Well, I’m all done.’ I try to dodge past her, but Sally is not to be deterred.

  ‘He’s still got the hots for you, hasn’t he, Andy? Strange the way he dump—’ She pauses as I glare at her. ‘Did that. Guess some guys get jealous when you spend too much time at work, don’t they? They like attention. But he’s so mad about you still, and as for Freddie.’ She fans herself, in a drunken fashion. ‘Wish I had a guy like that!’

  ‘Freddie’s not my guy, he’s a friend.’ This isn’t strictly true now, but I’m not sure quite where we stand so it will do for now.

  ‘Call him what you like, same difference.’ She shrugs. ‘You are so lucky, so popular.’

  I’m not sure if she’s being sarcastic or means it.

  ‘Did you need a wee?’

  She ignores my question and tilts her head on one side. ‘So why Jack?’

  ‘Jack? What are you talking about?’

  ‘At the hen night, you were talking to him …’ She pauses. ‘For ages.’

  ‘Ages?’ I laugh nervously. ‘Oh, I wouldn’t say ages!’ Flaming heck, I didn’t realise Sally or anybody else had missed me, I thought they’d checked in and gone straight up to their room.

  ‘Well, I would! Checking in was a ‘mare and you were still not back when they finally gave us our room keys!’

  ‘I was getting some air!’ We’re not exactly shouting, but it’s getting a bit hot and confrontational. ‘I needed to clear my head.’

  ‘Whatever.’ Sal waves a dismissive hand. She’s good at that. ‘But it must have been quite the heart to heart. Is there something going on between you two?’

  ‘No!’

  ‘So, what were you talking about?’ She is peering down at me.

  ‘Erm.’ This is a tricky one. Luckily, she moves on before I spill the beans about Jack’s feelings for Maddie, or his relationship with Beth.

  ‘Were you talking about me?’ She’s looking a bit agitated, as well as very drunk, which isn’t the Sally we all know, and at times love to hate. Our Sally is uber-confident, and never doubts herself or any part of her perfect life. Does this mean she knows there are cracks appearing?

  ‘Erm, not really, why?’ I don’t want to add to the lies, but I don’t think she’s really listening.

  ‘I need to talk to you, Jane. You’re alright you know, and you can keep a secret, I know I can trust you.’

  Oh, no, not more secrets. I might have to scream and make a run for it. This is the longest, most traumatic party in the history of man. I leave the bathroom and make my way back into the party room, but Sally follows hot on me heels, still determined to get something off her chest.

  ‘People love you, you know.’

  She must be very drunk. ‘Er, thanks again.’

  ‘I mean Rach loves you. And Freddie obviously loves you, too, it’s the way he looks at you. I know that look, I want that—’

  ‘Everything okay, Matchstick?’

  This is what you call a rude interruption. Very rude. Where the hell is Freddie when I need him?

  ‘What did you just call me?’ I glare at Michael, hardly believing my own ears. But I am quite glad of the interruption. We have business to sort.

  ‘Matchstick.’ He shrugs. ‘Me and Andy always called you that.’

  ‘Always?’ I can’t believe he used that name. When Andy carelessly dropped it into his ‘we are over’ text to me, I hadn’t realised that my stupid school nickname was still in common use. ‘We aren’t at school now, you know!’

  He shrugs but seems on edg
e.

  ‘Matchstick!’ Sally giggles. This is what being drunk does for you, you forget why you were angry and start laughing at the drop of a hat. ‘Ha-ha, matchstick!’ And she’s off, weaving in a zigzag towards the bar. I’ve never seen her this drunk before, which makes me think maybe I’m being mean, maybe she really does need somebody to talk to.

  I’m tempted to go and catch her, which wouldn’t be difficult, but Michael senses it and neatly moves to block my way.

  ‘What do you want, Michael?’ Michael and I avoid each other wherever politely possible. This is out of character. It’s also me that’s supposed to be looking for him, so this is all very odd.

  ‘Have you told her?’

  ‘Told her what?’ I’m confused now. Does he know about Jack’s secret, am I supposed to have passed the message on?

  ‘About Lexie. Have you told Rach?’

  ‘Oh. That! No.’ I falter feeling myself blush and look round guiltily. Just talking about the girl I caught him tonsil-sucking down an alleyway next to Tesco’s while I’m in the same room as Rach is making me all hot and bothered.

  The image is as fresh in my mind as if it happened yesterday, not over a year ago. Oh, why the hell didn’t I tell her on my hen night like I’d planned to? If Andy hadn’t spectacularly dumped me I would have. I know I would have. None of this would be happening now. ‘Why?’ Bugger, Beth hasn’t said something, has she? Or Mads? Does he know it’s practically common knowledge now, and I’m the least of his worries?

  ‘She’s been acting a bit strange. She was just muttering on about men who shagged around, and,’ his eyes narrowed, ‘she was really upset. We’re about to get married!’ He is eyeing me up as if he’d like to have me struck off the guest list. See? We don’t get on, and at times of heightened emotions (like on the countdown to your wedding) the slightest remark could lead to something nasty. I know. Believe me.

  The twinge in my gut relaxes a bit though. I think this is about Rach spotting Jack and Beth, not about her being suspicious of Michael. Call me mean, but I’m not about to tell him that and let him off the hook.

 

‹ Prev