“I can’t,” I replied. “I live at home with my parents. They’ll never forgive me for this. I can’t go back there. I can’t face them. Not yet. And both of my best friends moved across the country for college. I don’t have any other close friends. I have one sister, but she’s worse than my parents.” I took in a shuddering breath. “I guess I’ll get a hotel room or something.” My eyes went wide. “Oh no. My credit cards. They didn’t work last night. My parents cut me off. It’s their way of forcing me to come home and face them.”
“And you don’t have any money of your own?” Evan asked carefully.
“No.” I flushed and looked down. I knew exactly how it sounded. I still lived with my parents. I lived off their money. Poor spoiled rich girl, Evan was probably thinking right now.
He wasn’t wrong. Going straight from my parents’ house to my husband’s house, never holding down a job of my own, always having other people take care of everything for me…
That might have been the standard way of doing things in my social circle, but I still knew exactly how sheltered and privileged I was.
“I didn’t even have enough money to pay for my bar tab.” My face threatened to crumple.
Evan stared at me silently, looking contemplative, while I breathed slowly and deeply, trying to keep my composure. I had no idea what I was going to do.
“How good are you at waiting tables?” Evan spoke up.
I blinked up at him.
“I don’t know,” I said. “I’ve never done it before.”
“How about washing dishes?”
I couldn’t admit to him I’d never washed a single dish in my life, so I stayed silent.
“Things are pretty busy at the bar,” Evan said. “We could use some help.”
My mouth slowly opened into an O.
“Are you offering me a job?” I asked. It was close to what I’d imagined happening last night when I couldn’t pay my bill, that they’d make me wash dishes.
It was much better than calling the cops, that was for certain.
“I’m sure Mason, my manager, would be grateful if I found someone to bring in,” Evan said. “You can stay in the spare room until you’re back on your feet.”
My face did crumple then.
“Why are you being so nice to me?” I asked.
His lips twitched upward.
“Let’s just say that seeing someone who’s clearly so helpless triggers my protective instincts,” he said. “I can’t let a nice girl like you fend for yourself on the streets, after all.”
I choked back a watery laugh.
“I really appreciate this,” I told him. “I promise, I won’t get in your way or bother you. And I’ll work really hard.”
“I have no doubt you will, Alice.”
Evan eyed me with a gleam in his eyes.
I wondered, for what had to be the dozenth time, what I’d told him last night that made him look at me that way.
3
After I’d finished my toast, Evan let me have a fresh toothbrush still in its pack and showed me where the towels were for a shower. It felt good to wash my hair and get all that hairspray out of my tangled rat’s nest. I’d purposely avoided looking into the mirror because I didn’t want to see the horror show I’d become. I was already horrified enough at my behavior.
When I was fresh-faced and clean, I changed into a dress and pair of sneakers Lizzy had left for me. I wore a pair of Evan’s boxers underneath. It was discomfiting, wearing some strange guy’s underwear, but it would have to do until I could figure out how to get some clothes of my own.
I thought back to my large walk-in closet and multitude of outfits. As much as I loved my Louboutin heels, it wasn’t worth risking going home.
Home. My heart fell to my knees at the thought.
Did I even have a home anymore?
My eyes stung, tears trying to make their way out once again. But I refused to let myself turn into another sobbing mess. I blinked them back and took long, calming breaths. I rubbed my cheeks to get some color into them and headed back to the kitchen where Evan was cleaning up from breakfast.
I wanted to offer to help, but I honestly wouldn’t have known where to start.
“I’m done with the shower,” I told him. “Thank you for letting me use it.”
“I couldn't let you take care of customers looking like a mess, could I?” he said. “You’d have scared them off with your raccoon eyes and ghost-white face.”
“And here I thought my face was tinted green all morning,” I replied. “It sure felt like it.”
“Still sick?” he asked.
“I’m feeling better.” I rubbed at the back of my head. “It’s still throbbing a little, but it’s nothing more pain killers can’t take care of.”
“That’s good,” Evan said. “We’ve got a big day ahead of us.”
My first day at a real job. Nerves fluttered in my belly, but I pushed them down. I was going to work hard and make sure Evan didn’t regret helping me out.
I watched him as he cleaned up the last bit of mess from breakfast, drying the dishes and putting them away in the cupboards.
Now that he wasn’t eyeing me like a hawk, as if he were expecting me to collapse into another sobbing heap at any second, I took the opportunity to examine him closely.
He’d already gotten showered and dressed, ready for the day. Last night he’d been wearing a grey t-shirt and dark denim. Today’s outfit was much the same, with a dark shirt that complimented his eyes quite well.
I wasn’t exactly short, but he still towered over me by a handful of inches. Although his hair fell over his forehead in front, the back and side were neatly trimmed. He didn’t have that carelessly unkempt look.
I let my eyes trail down his body, taking in the muscled upper arms, lean torso, and muscled thighs. I remembered the weights and gym mat in the spare room. He must have worked out at home a lot to have such a great physique. I did yoga sometimes and went for the occasional jog, but I had no doubt this guy could run circles around me.
Evan finished wiping down the counter, put the cleaning cloth in the sink, and turned to me.
“Is it time to go to work now?” I asked. I didn’t know what time bars usually opened, but I had to assume there was work to be done before the customers arrived.
“Before we go…” he looked hesitant. “I think you should probably tell your family you’re okay.”
My heartbeat spiked. I didn’t know what my expression looked like, but from the way it felt as if all blood had drained from my cheeks, I had to assume panicked was the least of it.
“You don’t have to talk to them,” Evan reassured me. “Maybe just send them a message? I’m sure as upset as they are, they’re also worried.”
I looked at my feet as guilt washed over me. Evan was probably right. For all they knew, I could be dead in a ditch somewhere.
I caved. I went to my small clutch purse and reached in for my phone.
It wasn’t in there.
I groaned and buried my face in my palm.
“What is it?” Evan asked, alarmed.
“I didn’t take my phone with me when I ran out,” I told him. “It’s sitting on some table somewhere in the bridal suite at the wedding venue.”
“Look on the bright side,” Evan said. “At least they can’t track you with GPS.”
“That never even occurred to me,” I said, eyes growing wide.
Would my family have tried to do that? Knowing them, probably. I was half-expecting to turn on the news and find my own face front and center in a missing person’s alert.
The other half of me knew that if I refused to go through with their plans, I was at risk of being disowned. They’d already cut off my credit cards, after all.
Evan went to a small cabinet in the living room and opened one of the drawers. He rummaged around then pulled out something black and rectangular.
“Here you go,” he said as he held it out to me. “You can use one of my old phones.”
I took it carefully.
“Are you sure?” I asked.
“I’m not using it,” he shrugged easily. “There’s no cell plan on it, but at least you can use the wifi for now.”
“Thank you.” I held the phone gingerly in my hand, as if I was afraid he would change his mind and snatch it away at the last second.
“Now you can message or email whoever you need to,” he said.
“I really appreciate this,” I told him.
“It’s no problem,” he said.
I stared down at the phone, running my thumb over the black screen. I still didn’t know if I wanted to be in contact with anyone. I could just imagine what my mom or, god forbid, my sister would say. Threats and ultimatums would be the least of it.
I still hadn’t decided what I was going to do.
Could I go back? Should I go back? Was it best if I just did what everyone expected of me?
Could I leave everything I’d ever known behind? Should I try to strike out on my own and live life on my own terms? Did I even know how?
I knew talking to my mother or sister would tip the scales. I’d never been able to stand up to them.
My heart raced. My forehead beaded with cold sweat.
“I don’t know…” I said quietly.
“You can block them after you send the message, if you don’t think you can deal with hearing from anyone,” he said.
Evan came up to me and put a comforting hand on my shoulder. He ducked down to meet my eyes straight on. He was so tall he had to hunch over. A familiar earthy-sweet scent filled the air. His hair fell past his ears and over his forehead as he looked down at me.
“Your wellbeing comes first,” he said. “Okay?”
My heart swelled in my chest as we stood face to face.
“Okay,” I repeated, clutching the phone to my chest.
His words touched something within me. Something that had been cold and dark for years, but was now starting to feel a spark of sunlight.
As much as I’d been taken care of my whole life, I’d never once felt cared for.
Until now.
4
Although I was nervous on the drive to the bar, the fluttering in my stomach was mostly from worry and the uncertainty of what I was getting myself into.
It wasn’t until I walked through the front door that I realized there was another reason to feel queasy.
It wasn’t as if I’d completely forgotten about my behavior the previous night, but after a shower and a change of clothes I’d begun to feel like a new woman.
However, the instant I walked in and saw that now familiar bar counter and the pretty girl standing behind it, humiliation and nausea returned in full force.
Lizzy, which I now knew to be the name of the girl at the bar, didn’t look up when we entered. She was standing at the cash register with a line between her brows as she stabbed a finger rapidly against the screen. There was a man standing behind her, practically looming as he watched over her shoulder. His expression was equally stymied.
Evan raised a hand to them in a wave of greeting and called out.
“Hey, Lizzy, Grant,” he said. ”Still fighting with that thing?”
Lizzy pursed her lips and muttered something under her breath, then raised her voice to call back.
“I think this thing is possessed by the devil,” she said. “Are you sure there isn’t any other software we can use?”
Evan went over to them. I stayed back, half hiding in the doorway and trying not to bring attention to myself.
“Mason said he’s tried a dozen other programs, but this one is the best,” Evan said.
“It’s not the best if we can’t get it to work,” Lizzy replied.
“Maybe we need to read the instructions instead of just mashing random buttons,” the guy, Grant, pointed out with a teasing nudge. Lizzy made a face at him.
Grant was tall, with wide quarterback shoulders, and might have looked intimidating if it weren’t for the fond, gentle look he was giving Lizzy. She was wearing a dress very similar to the one I was wearing, which made sense since it also belonged to her. She had a cute fashion sense even if it wasn’t the kind of thing I was used to wearing. I was less sneakers and cotton dresses and more designer heels and silk blouses.
The rumbling in my stomach turned fierce as I remembered the friendly but sympathetic way Lizzy handled me the previous night.
When I had taken Evan up on his offer to give me a job, even if it was only temporarily, I’d been so taken aback, so touched, I hadn’t realized exactly what that meant.
I was going to be working with the people who had seen me at my very worst.
I always prided myself on being poised and well put together. Last night I had been the extreme opposite.
Humiliation swirled in my gut. Why hadn’t I realized I’d need to face these people again before I agreed to the job?
But it was too late now. I had nowhere else to go, no other plans. I’d have to just suck it up.
With a deep breath, I straightened my back and walked fully into the bar. Lizzy lifted her eyes from the cash register and caught sight of me. Her eyebrows flew up. She murmured something to Grant, who raised his head briefly to throw a smile in my direction. Evan murmured something to them and I had to wonder exactly what his explanation was going to be.
I didn’t want everyone to know my personal business, but it was a little too late for that now. I’d practically babbled my whole sad, pathetic story to the entire bar the night before. It wasn’t like any of it was a secret anymore.
At least that little humiliation was already over and done with. I wouldn’t have to rehash all the details of why I found myself working here because I had no doubt these people at the bar knew every intimate detail of what I’d done the previous day.
Whatever explanation Evan gave the two of them, it seemed to satisfy them because Lizzy gave me a friendly smile and waved me over.
“Looks like we’re going to be working together for a while,” she said.
“Evan was kind enough to offer me a job,” I told her. “I promise I’ll work hard.”
“We’ll make sure to show you the ropes,” Grant said.
“Let me just finish fighting with this thing,” Lizzy said. “You can have a seat and chill until we’re done.”
I did as she said and took a seat, not at the bar counter, but at one of the booths. I slid in, appreciating the soft, squishy bench seats.
I took a moment to survey the area. I hadn’t had much time to look around the previous night. All I’d been concerned with was going straight to the bar and getting hammered as fast as I could.
Now, in the light of day and with sober eyes, I saw that it was quite a nice looking place. It was well lit with art from local artists on the walls. The booths were high backed to provide privacy, but there were plenty of tables in the middle of the room for large groups to congregate.
At the end of the bar was a small raised platform that looked to be like a stage. They must have live music sometimes. I couldn’t recall if they’d had any last night, but I had been so trashed I might not have realized it if there was.
I absentmindedly reached for my purse to pull out my phone, as was most people’s instincts whenever we had a few seconds to waste. All I found was my pearl-encrusted clutch purse, the only bag that I had with me, and the old phone Evan lent me.
I held the phone between my hands and stared down at the black screen. I hadn’t sent any messages yet. I still wasn’t sure what to say.
I opened a messaging app and entered my login and password. I couldn’t send a proper text because I didn’t have anybody’s phone number memorized. Who did these days? But I could use a messaging app to contact my sister, and that would have to be enough.
I stared down at the tiny keyboard with my thumbs hovering over the screen for what might have been ten minutes or more. I tried to come up with something to say. Something that would explain why I had done what I had d
one. Something to mitigate the fallout, perhaps.
In the end, all I sent was a quick dozen words or so.
I’m okay, don’t try to find me, please just let me have some time.
I hit the send button, heard the pinging sound of the message being sent off, and immediately signed out of the app. I didn’t want to risk staying online long enough for my sister to catch me. If she saw my message she might not even take the time to read it before jumping all over me with angry objections.
Evan and Lizzy were still fighting with the cash register by the time I had turned off the phone and put it away. I decided it wouldn’t hurt to explore the bar and get used to the surroundings.
It was a large space, and although it was mostly one large open concept room, there was a hallway off to the side. As I walked down in, I found a coat room and what looked to be a utility closet. At the far end of the hallway was a door with no handle. It did have a metal box where the knob should have been.
Curious, I went over to inspect it. I poked and prodded at the metal box but couldn’t see what its purpose might have been. I took it with both hands and pulled on it, trying to see if I could get the door to open, but it was firmly locked.
Stymied, I took a step back and examined it. I wondered what sort of room would be so important it had to be locked without any easily identifiable way to open it.
“So, you found the secret door?” Evan asked, surprising me as he walked up behind me.
“Is it a secret?” I asked. “The door isn’t hidden at all. It’s right out in the open. The only thing is, I can’t open it.”
“Sin and Tonic is a little unusual,” Evan said. “On the surface, it’s a place to get a great drink and catch some live music a few times a week. But actually…” Evan leaned closer to whisper in my ear. “It’s a front for the secret bar at the back.”
My eyebrows rose high on my forehead.
“Are you hiding some kind of illegal speakeasy?” I asked.
Evan chuckled.
“Nothing like that,” he said. “The same guy owns both of these bars. He prefers one of them to have a little more privacy, that’s all.”
Hot and Bothered (Sin and Tonic Book 4) Page 2
