by Mary Alford
Sutter knew then that he couldn’t stay with all the memories of his brother surrounding him. And so he’d left the faith, breaking his mamm and daed’s hearts in the process.
He swallowed down the bitterness encasing his own heart whenever he pictured Thomas’s innocent, smiling face.
“Komm home, sohn...” His mamm’s letter had reached him before the start of this case. Her gentle plea haunted him. She missed her son and thought his coming home would return things to normal.
“Are you okay?” Catherine asked. She’d obviously seen the misery he couldn’t hide. More than ten years had passed, and yet it might as well have been yesterday. The pain was still raw and unresolved.
Sutter shook off the past and forced a smile. “I’m fine.”
The driveway ended at a white clapboard house. It could have been home...
He fought against going there again. He’d visited his parents and grandparents in the beginning. Yet sadly, it had been years since he’d gone home. Guilt waited for him there. Sutter was unable to escape it. His bruder deserved better. So did his family.
The occupants of the house must have heard them coming. The front door opened and a man and a woman stepped out onto the porch. Her flame-red hair was visible beneath her prayer kapp, and she held a young child in her arms. A girl whose red hair matched her mother’s, a stark contrast to the white of the house behind them.
Noah Warren, a tall man with curly blond hair touching his collar, and a thick beard, planted his black felt hat on his head and watched their approach.
Sutter stopped the SUV near the house and climbed out, coming around the front of the vehicle to open Catherine’s door.
The couple descended the steps to greet them.
“You must be Sutter Brenneman,” Noah said, with an easy smile.
Sutter extended his hand. “I am. And this is Catherine.” It felt strange introducing her without a last name.
Noah nodded to her. “Noah Warren. It is nice to meet you, Catherine. This is my wife, Rachel, and our dochder, Katie.” He drew the woman and child close in an affectionate gesture.
Rachel’s emerald-green eyes shining with happiness. “Komm inside, you two. It is a cold day out.” She reached for Catherine’s hand with her free one and held it as she led her up the steps to the house, leaving Sutter behind with Noah.
“My wife is happy to have another woman around,” Noah said, with another quick smile. “She misses her sister, who married recently and moved to the other side of the community.”
Sutter knew all too well how close Amish siblings could be. It had been the same way with him and Thomas. He reached for his suitcase and the bag containing a few clothes for Catherine.
“Let me help you with those,” Noah said, and Sutter handed him the bag.
“Thanks.” Sutter liked the man already. He understood why the sheriff had recommended the Warrens’ home as a safe place for them to stay.
As he stepped across the threshold, the simple decor inside made him freeze in place. It was typical Amish style and it pulled him back to his childhood.
“There is a small room next to ours. Catherine can use it. And we have a dawdi haus attached. You are welcome to stay there, Sutter,” Noah told him.
Although it would probably be more comfortable, he didn’t want to be too far away from Catherine.
“If it’s all the same to you, I can sleep on the sofa.”
Noah nodded. “I understand.” He carried Catherine’s bag to the small bedroom and set it inside, then returned to his wife’s side.
“Sheriff Collins came by for a visit earlier and explained what happened, but you will both be protected here, you don’t have to worry,” Rachel assured Catherine, as she set the little girl down at her feet.
Sutter prayed it would be so.
“Your daughter is beautiful.” Catherine smiled at the child.
“Denki,” Rachel said, and clasped her daughter’s hand. “Katie and I were just getting to start the evening meal. Would you like to help us?”
The child had glued herself to her mamm’s side in a shy manner. She probably hadn’t seen too many Englischers in her lifetime.
“I would. That sounds nice.” Catherine followed them into the kitchen, while Sutter found himself second-guessing his decision to expose this young family to a killer. He had no doubt that Noah could take care of himself, and Walker wouldn’t have recommended the place if he didn’t think so, but what about Rachel and the child? Would they be collateral damage in a killer’s quest to keep his identity secret?
Noah must have seen his doubts. “We will be oke. I remember a few things from my deputy days, and I trust Gott to protect us.”
At one time, Sutter had felt the same way. Trusting Gott to guide his life. But that was before Thomas was taken so carelessly.
Sheriff Collins had informed him that the video surveillance at the hospital hadn’t picked up any images of the killer. Nothing about this bit of news sat well with Sutter. He’d asked Walker to review the personnel files of all the male employees, because his instinct assured him the killer had a working knowledge of the hospital’s security system and knew how to avoid being caught.
“Walker gave me some of the details of the case. There have been six other young women to die so far?” Noah asked. “Are there any leads?”
Sutter shook his head. Though he couldn’t give away any details they’d kept from the press, he’d welcome Noah’s insight. “Unfortunately, there are not. This guy is good at keeping his identity a secret.” There were no prints at the crime scene or the hospital. The tire tracks matched any number of cars in the area, and so far they hadn’t been able to narrow down the type of shoes that had left footprints.
Noah followed his gaze to where Catherine was admiring Katie’s faceless doll. “What about her? What’s her story?”
Sutter remembered Catherine using several German words. On impulse, he turned to Noah. “Does she look familiar to you?”
The surprise on the other man’s face indicated how strange the question must seem. But he studied Catherine a moment longer. “I don’t recognize her. Should I?”
Sutter had no idea. He explained why he’d asked.
“I’ve lived here long enough to know the people of the community,” Noah stated. “Catherine is not from here.”
Sutter struggled with disappointment.
“There are other Amish communities around the state. Perhaps she came from one of them?”
He’d thought about the possibility. But why was Catherine in the area?
Running on so little sleep, he found it hard to pull his thoughts together. “If it’s okay with you, I’d like to move the SUV out of sight.” Sutter explained about the car following them earlier.
“A gut idea. It should fit into the barn oke. I’ll go with you and help.”
Sutter stepped out into another fading day. A dreadful reminder that the killer was out there somewhere, lurking. Waiting to claim his next victim. Determined to silence Catherine.
“The barn is this way,” Noah said. “I’ll open the door for you.” As the Amish man headed off to the left, Sutter climbed in the SUV and started it up.
Pulling into the barn was a bit tricky, given the snug fit. He killed the engine and climbed out while the barn animals protested the noisy disturbance.
“I hope we’re not putting you out too much. Sheriff Collins told me about you being one of his deputies a while back. What changed your mind? This lifestyle must be worlds away from what you were used to.” Sutter felt like an outsider here. At one point these had been his people.
Noah smiled. “Rachel did. I knew I loved her from the beginning. We grew up together, though I was not Amish. But things happened and I moved away. Then I found her again and I knew it was a sign from Gott. I was meant to be here with her.” The love Noah had
for his wife was easy to see. His devotion reminded Sutter of his mamm and daed. They enjoyed each other’s company, and held hands whenever they didn’t think anyone was watching.
It was uncommon for someone who was not raised Amish to wish to join the faith. It would require quite a bit of dedication. Sutter thought about his own past. He’d planned to join the church, before his brother had died. Though technically he was still going through his rumspringa at the time, he’d wanted to spend the rest of his life among the Plain people.
They stepped up on the porch once again. Sutter’s hope was that once Catherine felt safe again in this peaceful setting, her memories would return and they’d gain some insight into who she was and what the killer’s connection to her might be.
Opening the door, Sutter went inside with Noah. Catherine and Rachel were working together in the kitchen, preparing the evening meal.
And he couldn’t take his eyes off her. There was something about Catherine that brought up things he’d long since dismissed from his life. A future. Sharing his days with someone. Having the type of lasting relationship his mamm and daed enjoyed. A family of his own.
Sutter hadn’t thought about any of those things since he’d left his Amish roots behind. He was twenty-eight, not some young man wondering what he wanted to do with his life. His world revolved around his career. Having a relationship along with that type of dedication to work didn’t make sense. Not to mention Catherine’s life was in flux. She had no idea who she even was. She could be married with a family of her own.
Sutter took his time removing his jacket. Catherine needed him to help her unravel the past. His gut told him there were people in her life who loved her and didn’t know she was missing. He couldn’t comprehend a scenario where that was possible.
With another day fading, time was running out. Soon there would be more victims to add to the growing list. And Sutter couldn’t stand the thought of this monster harming another innocent woman.
FOUR
Just for a moment, the look in Sutter’s eyes drew her in, made Catherine wish for things she couldn’t name. But then he glanced away and the moment disappeared.
Since meeting Sutter, Catherine had felt a connection to him that was unexplainable. She trusted him completely.
Turning away, she struggled to reclaim her composure under Rachel’s careful watch. The young mother hadn’t missed the look that passed between Catherine and Sutter.
Katie held up her faceless doll for Catherine once more and she was grateful for the distraction. The doll’s simple blue dress and black bonnet made her frown. A memory of another little girl teased her brain, just beyond reach. Her dark hair so much like...who? As hard as she tried, Catherine couldn’t force out the answer. She studied the doll in Katie’s hand. So familiar. She’d seen one like this before. From her past? Or the little girl who remained a mystery?
Sutter came into the kitchen, his gaze on her face. Did he see the turmoil she couldn’t hide?
“Is something wrong?” he asked.
How could she possibly answer his question? She shook her head, but he didn’t let the matter go.
“Catherine? Did something happen?” He touched her arm and she glanced down at his tanned hand on her shirtsleeve. Her emotions were all mixed up. She’d faced death several times. Sutter represented safety in her mind. Nothing more.
A tiny breath escaped before she met his gaze. It was so easy to get lost in his eyes, to forget she had to stay on guard.
The noise of silverware clanking grated along her frayed nerves. She turned and noticed Rachel carrying it to the table.
Catherine stepped away from Sutter and found she could breathe once again.
“Let me do that,” she said to Rachel. “You’ve done so much already.”
“But you’re our guest,” Rachel protested, as she brushed a lock of hair from her face with the back of her hand.
“And I am a guest who wishes to help,” Catherine insisted, taking the silverware. “You and your husband are kind enough to let us stay here. I don’t want to be a burden.”
“You could never be a burden,” Rachel assured her with a brilliant smile.
Sutter grabbed the stack of plates from the counter and helped Catherine prepare the table for the meal. Her hands shook slightly as she lay the silverware on the table. She was grateful Sutter didn’t press for further answers, because her feelings were in turmoil.
“Are you hungry, boppli?” Rachel asked Katie, who was playing with her doll. Catherine watched mother and child together.
The little girl nodded, her huge green eyes fixed on Rachel. The love they shared made Catherine unexpectedly sad. With her hand suspended over the final plate, she struggled to understand this feeling. A mother’s love for her child was a beautiful thing, surely? Why would there be unhappiness connected to something so special?
“They’ll come back to you in time,” Sutter murmured, for only her to hear.
Her attention jerked to him. She forced a smile and prayed he would be right, because the thought of living in this void forever was unimaginable.
As she watched him, the lantern’s light softened the hard edges of Sutter’s face. She couldn’t imagine the things he’d seen while doing his job, yet she sensed there was more there. Something from his past perhaps had left its mark, scars much like the ones her own past had etched into her.
Her brow furrowed at the strange thought. Why would she assume something in her past had scarred her?
Catherine pulled her gaze free as heat crept into her cheeks.
“I hope you are all hungry,” Rachel said, as she brought the food to the table. Once everyone was seated, heads bowed. Catherine did the same, almost as if this had been part of her custom. The prayer was silent. How did she know that would be the case? She didn’t recognize anything about the West Kootenai community. If she was Amish, where was she from?
With so many questions troubling her, Catherine poured her heart out to Gott, desperate for answers that were not yet coming.
Noah said, “Amen,” and everyone began to eat. Catherine tasted the simple beef potpie Rachel had prepared and closed her eyes.
“This is delicious,” she said.
Her compliment obviously pleased Rachel. “I am glad you like it.” The woman always seemed happy, and Catherine wondered if there would ever be a time when she felt that way. “I used elk meat instead of beef. Noah is a gut hunter. We never lack for food.”
Her husband reached for her hand. The love they had for each other made Catherine feel like an intruder in their romance. She glanced at Sutter across the table. His eyes were fixed on his plate. Ever since they’d arrived in the Amish community, he’d seemed troubled by something personal.
“Do you hunt?” Noah asked Sutter, making conversation.
The muscle in Sutter’s jaw flexed before he answered. “No. I used to when I was much younger. Now there never seems to be enough time.”
Did something happen to Sutter when he was younger? Catherine’s mind wondered over the possibilities.
When the meal ended, she insisted on washing the dishes. “It’s the least I can do after such a wonderful meal.”
“I’ll help out, as well,” Sutter said, and carried dishes to the sink. Then he grabbed a dishcloth from where it hung nearby.
“You two will spoil me,” Rachel said, and lifted her daughter in her arms. “Are you ready for sleep?”
The little girl nodded and buried her face against her mother’s neck. Katie’s eyes had been drooping throughout the meal.
“I will be right back,” Rachel told them, while Noah moved to the living room to add more wood to the dying fire.
Doing a simple task like washing dishes seemed familiar. She’d done this many times in the past. Catherine stopped washing and tried to pull out the rest of the memory.
At one
time, she’d shared a close relationship with a woman. A friend? She tried to recall her face, but it was as blank as Katie’s faceless doll. Dread balled up inside her. Something bad had happened to her friend.
“Catherine?” She swung toward Sutter and realized he’d been trying to get her attention. “Something wrong?”
Her brow knitted together. The troubling feeling wouldn’t go away.
“I guess I’m just tired,” she managed to reply, because she had no idea if the feeling was real or part of her jumbled memory.
“It’s no wonder after everything you’ve been through. A good night’s sleep will do you a world of good.”
Fuzziness swam before her eyes, yet the thought of sleep filled her with alarm. He’d be waiting in her nightmares.
“Perhaps you are right,” she said, hating that her assailant had crept into this peaceful setting.
“Noah put your things in the room down the hall. I’ll make sure you have light.” Sutter picked up the lantern from the table to light their way.
Opening the first door, he sat the oil lamp on the floor, then crossed to the table by the bed. He struck a match to the lantern on the bedside table as if he’d done it before. Catherine wondered how he knew the right way to work the wick. Surely it wasn’t part of most people’s everyday lives.
The same sadness from earlier settled around her. The woman’s vague image wouldn’t let her go. Was it even real? Right now, she didn’t trust any of her memories.
“That should give you some light.” He showed her how to extinguish it. “If you need anything during the night, I’ll be right outside, in the living room. Don’t hesitate to come get me.”
She glanced around the room filled with simple furnishings. A twin bed next to the table. A dresser against the opposite wall. A chest at the foot of the bed.
“Thank you, Sutter,” she said. “But I hope I will be too busy sleeping to need anything.” The exhaustion she felt seemed to go all the way to her soul.
Sutter didn’t move. He stared down at her, his dark eyes searching her face. Looking for... If only she understood what that expression meant.
