Terra must feel the same. “I’m pretty sure I’ll die if I can’t have actual sex with you soon.”
“You can’t do that,” I murmur back, my lips tracing their way down the column of her neck while my hand is sliding up, under her shirt. I’m careful to not touch her stitches. “It would be a waste of an incredibly good-looking, hard-working kidney.”
“Wow. Donor life has made you an egomaniac,” she whispers and giggles. It makes her whole body shake, and it’s adorable. Terra is adorable. Always has been, in that incredibly hot way.
“Do you remember how you used to turn on that horrible boy band music and dance around with the mop during close at the restaurant?” I say suddenly. She looks at me and nods. “And how when you had cleared the last table of the night and brought me the dishes you’d do that little butt-wiggle thing with your arms up and your elbows tucked in.”
“Yeah…” she sounds nervous.
“Why did you stop doing that?”
“I grew up, I guess?” She pauses and bites her lower lip for a second as she thinks and then her eyes move to me.
“You stopped almost instantly after the party. Abbott’s party and the whole closet thing,” I tell her. “I noticed.”
“That was a part of what felt like a rude awakening,” she says and reaches up and runs her fingers from my temple into my hair, brushing at it absently. It feels like heaven. “I had just found out I had this disease that would never go away, I was going to have to take meds for God knows how long. My hair had started thinning at that point, and the boy I’d been insanely, madly crushing on for years wouldn’t kiss me. It felt like the universe was telling me this was it—my life was now a series of disappointments and rejections. So, I don’t know … goofing off seemed less fun. And goofing off around you was a giant no. I was already so humiliated I just wanted to limit my contact with you to the bare minimum.”
“I’m sorry. I wish I could have explained myself better then. I wish I’d also told you that all your dorky dancing and the way you would sing those songs and hug that mop was hot as hell,” I say and then I pause, kiss her chastely and give her a big, sheepish grin. “I know some guys think lingerie and tight skirts and grinding at nightclubs is hot but … you being you and loving every minute of it was the most gorgeous fucking thing I had ever seen in my life back then. I’m sorry I ruined that for you and for me.”
She stares at me, wordlessly. The smile on her lips is vulnerable. Then she pulls me in for a scorching kiss, her lips crashing against mine, her tongue owning my mouth and her hands yanking my tank top up. “Please can we get naked and just lie here making out like we should have done back then?”
“Your wish is my command.”
And we do just that, touching, exploring, teasing. She brings me to the brink with her hand over and over as I kiss her everywhere and my own hand slides between her legs. Before either of us lose the battle with our orgasms. I pull away from her, slide down the bed and between her legs. I have a need to bring her there with my mouth. Feel her come against my lips, taste her as she breaks apart.
She writhes against me the second my tongue makes contact and her sigh is shaky and heavy. I grab my cock and jerk myself off while I make her come on my tongue. It’s so fucking hot to watch her. I’ve had sex enough in my lifetime and none of it has been bad, but none of it has been this. I’ve never wanted to come just from watching someone else do it. I lean back, fisting myself, on the verge and in desperate need of release. I look for my tank top in the dark so I have something to come into. But Terra, still panting from her orgasm slips off the bed and onto her knees in front of me. She grabs my wrist forcing my hand away from my cock and I look down at her in confusion. “Use my mouth instead,” she whispers and her tongue slides out and licks my tip.
And then she takes the rest of me into her hot, wet mouth. I come with only the third slide of her mouth down my shaft. It takes every ounce of my willpower not to grunt—roar—in pleasure. As I stand there shuddering she raises to her feet, smiling proudly. “I liked that.”
“Clearly so did I,” I smile and pull her naked body against mine, holding her to me in the moonlight.
“Jacob?”
At first I think it’s her who just said my name. But Terra has never called me that. No one does. I won’t allow it.
“Jacob!” And then I realize with horror it’s coming from outside.
“What the hell?” I whisper and let Terra go. I walk over to the window in a daze of confusion made worse by the fuzz of my orgasm. Who the hell is yelling that name outside the Hawkins’ house after midnight?
Terra darts to the bed and gets dressed quickly. She throws me my clothes but I’m not expecting them and they hit my elbow and fall to the ground while I look out the window.
My mother is standing in the Hawkins’s driveway.
“JACOB! ARE YOU OKAY? JACOB GRADY!”
“Get dressed! Whoever is yelling is going to wake up my parents!” Terra hisses and she walks up behind me and glances out the window. “Who is that?”
“Kelsey,” I reply flatly and bend to grab my clothes. But I don’t get them on before the door to my bedroom swings open and someone flips the light switch on the wall.
Charlie Hawkins gets a full, unobstructed view of my bare ass. Our eyes connect and he immediately looks away right at his daughter standing right next to me but thankfully now fully clothed.
“Dad!” Terra squeaks and jumps to stand between her dad’s eyeballs and my ass. Sweet girl, protecting my honor.
He shuts the door with a loud thud and through it he calls. “Your mom is outside, Jake. Can you come handle it or do you want me to?”
“I’m on my way! Thank you!” I call back. I turn and look at Terra, while I yank my pants all the way up. “I just need to die first.”
“It’s not the end of the world,” Terra says as she follows me to the bedroom door, down the hall and down the stairs. “We’re adults and we were going to tell them eventually anyway. And better that Dad walked in than my mom who would be driving directly to church right now.”
When we reach the front hall, Lucy is standing in the open front door in her housecoat. “Kelsey, if you do not stop yelling, someone is going to call the police. Plain and simple.”
“I want to see my baby boy! I heard he was in the hospital,” Kelsey replies, not quite yelling but still way too loud for sleepy Ocean Pines after midnight. “I need to know he’s okay.”
Everything inside of me turns to lead. I know this feeling all too well but I haven’t experienced it in almost fifteen years and I would have given more than a kidney to avoid feeling it ever again. But here we are.
Terra puts a hand on my back just under my shoulder blade as I walk up behind Lucy. Charlie is on the porch to the side. His arms are crossed and he looks infuriated but he isn’t saying a word, just scowling at my mom. Kelsey is on the driveway. She’s in a pair of gray sweatpants which are stained and saggy like they’re two sizes too big. On top she’s got on a pale pink sweatshirt with an airbrushed kitten and tulips on it and a ratty beige cardigan over that. There is a lit cigarette dangling from her left hand.
“I’ll handle this Lucy,” I say and she glances up at me, her brown eyes full of concern. I give her a reassuring smile. “It’s okay. Go back to sleep. I promise she won’t wake the neighbors.”
Lucy gives me a small nod and turns to Charlie. “Let’s go, honey.”
Charlie hesitates. His eyes laser-focused on Kelsey. Kelsey doesn’t notice because she’s spotted me as I step out onto the porch. If her eyes could light up they would, but there hasn’t been light in Kelsey Grady’s eyes for probably two decades now. Maybe there never was. Charlie finally backs up and retreats from the porch, joining his wife inside. “I’ll be in the kitchen until I know this is settled.”
I nod.
“Jacob baby? Oh my gosh, it’s so good to see you.” My mother gushes.
“Terra go with him, please,” I ask and she s
hakes her head.
“I have training in dealing with people with substance abuse and mental health issues,” she whispers to me.
I give her a wry smile. “And I have training in dealing with Kelsey. Besides, you’ll just agitate her. You know how she feels.”
Terra frowns but steps inside with her dad. I close the front door and turn back to my mom. She’s left the driveway now and is stumbling across their front lawn. Luckily, it’s fall so she doesn’t crush the flowers that usually line the path from the driveway to the front door. I walk off the porch to meet her halfway. “Hi Kel … Mom.”
“Jacob, what’s this I hear that you had an operation?” Kelsey asks and reaches out with her right hand, the one not holding the smoke, and touches my abdomen. I step back, she tries to cling to my tank top but doesn’t have a good enough grip, thankfully. “Why do I need to hear this from other people?”
“I didn’t want to bother you,” I lie and try to give her a smile. There’s a faint odor wafting off of her. Stale cigarette smoke, maybe a sweet booze and definitely a lack of deodorant.
“ Still at the park on Cascade,” she says. “The third trailer on the left from the gate. You can come by anytime.”
I nod. “Okay. I’m back now, so we have tons of time to catch up. Don’t need to do it in the middle of the night in the Hawkins’ driveway.”
“Back from the hospital?” she asks. Oh, right. Apparently whoever told her I had been in the hospital didn’t tell her I moved away for almost three years. Or she forgot. I sigh and she notices. “Are you in pain? What happened to you?”
“I’m good. I just…” Lie or the truth? Lie would be easier but I’m not big on lies. “I donated a kidney to someone who needed it.”
Her face contorts, making all the deep lines and wrinkles even deeper. Life has not been kind to Kelsey. My mother was a beauty at one point before I was born. Her hair was jet black, glossy, and wavy. Her eyes, a caramel color, were wide-set and fringed with naturally thick lashes. Her nose petite and straight. Her smile bright and bold. I still have her high school year book photo somewhere in a drawer at my place. It used to be framed on her dresser when we lived together when I was a kid. I took it the first time they hauled me out of her custody and into foster care when I was nine. I never gave it back, and if she noticed, she never said anything. Now she looks at me, the lustrous hair thinning and gray before its time, her lashes sparse, her eyes bloodshot. “Why would you give someone a kidney?”
“Because I care about them and they needed one.”
She doesn’t understand that at all, and it’s so apparent on her face that I almost smirk. How in the world does this woman not understand the concept? She takes a long, deep pull on that cigarette of hers and slowly lets out the smoke as she tries to understand an act of kindness like she’s figuring out Pythagorean theorem. “But you need ‘em.”
“I need one. I had two,” I explain. “Anyway, I am perfectly fine. Doing great. Going back to work soon.”
She frowns. “But why are you living here with these lobster people if you’re fine?”
I used to get annoyed about how she always called the Hawkins family “lobster people” until I told Finn and he’d laughed and said, “It makes us sound like we are literally people sized lobsters waddling around.” If he can make light of her ire, so can I.
“They’re taking care of me.”
“You should have come and stayed with me,” Kelsey suggests as she also blows cigarette smoke out of her mouth and into my face. “I would have kicked my roommate off the couch he rents from me and given it to you. He ain’t pulling his weight anymore anyway.”
That’s Kelsey Grady code for the junkie she is letting crash at her place isn’t sharing his drugs anymore.
“Who did ya give the liver to?” she wants to know.
“Kidney,” I correct. “A friend.”
She scowls. I have a nauseating moment of panic because if she gets angry instead of placated then she will wake up the whole block screaming and carrying on. I don’t want to get her angry. I have to diffuse this.
“Who did you give it to, Jacob?” Her words are slow and clipped, like there’s a period in between each one.
I swallow. “Terra.”
Her face turns more sour than milk a month after its expiry date. “Of course. I knew it’d be one of the lobster people or that rich bitch you date.”
“I haven’t dated Aspen in years, Mother, and if you call her that or insult the Hawkins again tonight, I will call the police on you myself,” I warn, my voice even and calm but dead fucking serious. “I’m tired. It’s late, and if you want to discuss this more I can swing by your place later this week.”
“Okay fine. I’m sorry.” Wow. I wasn’t expecting that. And she almost looks like she means it. She sucks on the cigarette again. “I’d like it if you come by.”
“Okay. I will. In a couple of days,” I promise. I’m not looking forward to it, but I’ll do it.
She nods and smiles. Her teeth are yellow and she’s missing her left eye tooth. That’s new… and horrifying. And a sign her battles with meth might be back. She was relatively clean when I left for King’s Rock. She was off the hard stuff thanks to a court ordered detox and was sticking to weed and booze. “Must have been pretty painful. Your operation.”
“It wasn’t bad,” I say and walk her toward the curb because I don’t want to continue this. “Do you have a ride home? Can I call Uber Jay for you or I can drive you back myself?”
She tips her head back and to the side. My gaze follows, and I see an ancient hatchback parked across the street that used to be white before but is now mostly rust.
“My friend Clarence let me borrow his ride.”
“And you’re okay to drive?” I have to ask even though I know she is going to get pissed off.
She stops walking and frowns. “You always have to play the saint. Nothing ever changes. I’m fine, Jacob. I may not be all high and mighty like that family you’re obsessed with, but I’m able to drive a fucking car. I haven’t had a drink.”
“Okay.”
“What about you?” she asks and her expression changes to curious from annoyed, but it’s off. Like too curious. Eager. “They must have you on some strong painkillers. I bet taking out an organ hurts a lot.”
Oh. Now I know why she’s actually here. I feel disappointment. Of course she wasn’t concerned about me. I should have known. I put my hand on her bony shoulders and walk her across the street to the car. “Not really. I was on some stuff at the hospital but now it’s just ibuprofen.”
“What?” She looks devastated. “I thought for sure they’d send you home with some Oxy or something.”
“Nope.”
“What about the lobster girl?” Kelsey asks. “She must have some good stuff. She’s tiny and sick with that other thing … leprosy?”
“Lupus,” I correct but I don’t know why I’m bothering. “Mom, it’s late. Time to go. I’ll visit you soon.”
“If she doesn’t finish her prescription maybe you can bring me some?” she asks. “I got an awful pain in my back that just won’t go away.” All of a sudden she’s clutching her lower back and hunching over.
“You should see a doctor about that, Mom. The free clinic on Tunis will take you without coverage.”
“They don’t believe me. Incompetent assholes,” she scowls and gives me her version of puppy dog eyes. “But if your friend has some Oxy she won’t even miss a couple tablets. And her doctor would give her more anyway. You want to help your mama don’t you, Jacob?”
Her favorite line. She used to say that to me to coax me to steal her cigarettes when I was young. I was good at it too but on the off occasion I got caught, they didn’t always call the cops. Sometimes they just chastised me and called my mother who promised to punished me, and she did. For getting caught.
“You know there’s a program over in Old Orchard Beach. An outpatient thing you can go to and it won’t cost a cent,�
� I tell her, my tone calm, firm, and quiet.
“You and your fucking programs. I’m not allowed to wanna fix an ache or pain without being called an addict,” she sneers and flicks the end of her lit cigarette onto the lawn of the house next door.
“Mom, it’s been a dry fall. That’s a fire hazard,” I walk over and pick it up then grind it out on the sidewalk.
“You know what, Jacob Maverick Grady? You aren’t fooling those people,” she says way too loudly and points to the Hawkins’s house. “They are doing what they’ve always done. Using you. Just like that rich bitch girlfriend you used to have. She used you to upset her high and mighty parents, and these ones are using you for body parts. They’ll turn on you first chance they get. You’re just like me, kiddo. Not good enough and no one really wants you.”
She swings open the door to the shitty, little hatchback and slams it shut. A light comes on in the house across from the Hawkins. I cringe as Kelsey squeals the tires and takes off down the street.
“What the heck is going on out there?” Mr. Pattison calls from his bedroom window across the street.
“Sorry sir. It’s taken care of,” I call back. “Sorry!”
When I get back into the house, the light is on in the kitchen. Lucy and Terra are sitting at the round oak table. Charlie is by the stove, arms crossed over his plaid pajama top. Terra jumps to her feet as I enter.
“I’m so sorry,” I say and try to not let them see the humiliation that is consuming me right now. Terra hugs me but I don’t hug her back. I give her back a little pat and step away.
“She’s a mom,” Lucy says softly and gives me that smile I used to see all the time when I was a kid. It’s kind—too kind. She doesn’t know it, but it makes me feel worse. “She was worried about you.”
“She wanted me to give her any painkillers they’d given me,” I reply flatly and Lucy’s smile drops like a lead balloon.
“Jake, I’m so sorry.”
I nod at Terra, but don’t make eye contact. I just want to go bed. “I hope you guys can fall asleep again. I’m really sorry, but don’t worry. She won’t be back.”
The Fall We Fell: A Small Town Friends-to-Lovers Romance (Ocean Pines Series Book 1) Page 21
