by Ian Todd
Silence.
“So, where hiv we goat tae so far? Well, Wan-bob Broon and Charlie Hastie ur aff the front page wae the trial jist a few weeks away, despite wan ae his top henchmen hivving recently being shot and murdered in wan ae the lanes in the toon centre. Everywan knows fine well that a gangland war’s aboot tae erupt in the city. The key witness fur the prosecution against them, Sergeant Shane Priestly, is deid and lo and behold, Shaun Murphy, wan ae Wan-bob Broon’s missing gangsters, turns up hivving been stabbed insteid ae shot, as previously stated in The Stalker’s service notebook.”
“Ah’m sorry, bit ye’ve lost me, Cooncillor,” Pearl managed tae get in.
“It’s The Stalker’s notebook, Pearl. That article you wrote…Ah mean, the wan that went oot in your name this morning, blows the credibility ae whit Haufwit Murray claimed tae The Stalker that night straight oot ae the water, so it dis,” Geraldine said, butting in. “The reliability ae whit that auld gangster claimed his been totally undermined noo.”
“So, if ye’re interested in conspiracies, Pearl, then they don’t come any bigger than this,” The Purple Dove assured her.
“So, ur you saying that ma boss is part ae whit’s supposedly gaun oan then? That he’s part ae aw this…this, conspiracy tae get Wan-bob Broon and Charlie Hastie found not guilty and that Ah’m being used tae deflect the heidlines away fae their case meantime?”
“Pearl, hen, you couldnae make up whit goes oan behind the scenes in this mucky city, so ye couldnae,” The Purple Dove, wan ae the maist powerful cooncillors in the toon, said modestly. “Noo you know how aw us wummin hiv been oppressed fur so long.”
“So, ur youse saying that they’re gonnae walk then?” Pearl asked.
“We’re no sure,” Mrs Lanky replied. “Oor new QC, Daphnie Blair-Riley, says that she’s hid dealings wae that Cleopatra wan who’s in charge ae the investigation. She represented a client who’d been accused ae murdering that man ae hers, up in The High Court in Aberdeen. She claimed that she wis wan ae the maist treacherous and sleekit people she’d ever come across in her entire life, and her a wummin as well. Said that she wis ruthless tae a fault and wis also wan ae the dirtiest players she’d ever come across since the Ruth Ellis trial.”
“So, whit happened tae her client?”
“Found guilty by a majority verdict, despite the jury being full ae wummin. She said that it wis due tae the dirty tricks that Cleopatra started pulling oot ae the hat a couple ae days or so before the trial, resulting in no gieing the defence team time tae fully research an appropriate response. The poor soul wis sent doon fur life, despite her obvious innocence.”
“And the point is?” Pearl asked, getting really confused noo.
“The point is, Pearl, hen,” The Last Rider ae The Purple Sage said, interjecting. “That unless that Cleopatra wan is still a dirty, scheming bast…Ah mean, a ruthless operator, wae something hidden up that sleeve ae hers, then there’s a fair chance that that pair ae killers ur gonnae walk, so they ur.”
Silence.
“So, whit de ye want fae the likes ae me…and please don’t take this the wrang way, bit ye mentioned earlier, that wan favour deserves another,” Pearl said tae The Purple Dove, gulping, feeling they cheeks ae hers flush, no sure if it wis wae embarrassment or guilt at her attempting tae negotiate, given the subject matter they’d been discussing fur the past twenty minutes.
The reaction wisnae whit she expected though.
“Aw, did Ah no say earlier that she wis a wee tight wan, wis Pearl,” Purple Drawers gushed, looking at the wummin roond the table, who aw nodded their heids, smiling, as Geraldine glared accusingly at her. “We’ve been trying tae get somewan fae The Glesga Echo…a journalist…somewan who kin work wae us tae expose whit’s been gaun oan and noo Ah think we’ve jist found her.”
“Look, Ah think Ah need tae be honest and upfront here. Despite everything that youse hiv jist telt me, Ah’m still gonnae pursue justice fur Lesley Bare, Pricilla Presley and they poliswummin colleagues ae hers, whether Ah’m being used by a pair ae a gangsters or a boss that resembles a giant rat or no.”
“And that’s very commendable,” Her Purple Majesty soothed.
“And honourable,” The Virgin Mary added, tae nods fae the others.
“Bit, at the end ae the day, Pearl, hen, it aw comes doon tae politics, so it dis,” The Cooncillor continued.
“Politics?” Pearl exclaimed, even mair confused than whit she awready wis and that wis saying something.
“Ye see, Pearl, while we aw want justice fur that poor, unfortunate soul, Lesley Bare, and of course aw they ex-poliswummin, remembering that it wis us that hiv led the charge in trying tae expose that horrible Irish Brigade…”
“Us?”
“Associates ae oors,” Mrs Lanky corrected.
“We hiv tae watch that we don’t spread oorsels too thin and end up fighting a war oan two fronts.”
“R-i-g-h-t,” Pearl sang, wondering whit path she wis getting led up this time.
“Rose Bain, that wee innocent angel, wis callously snuffed oot, murdered, because it wis believed that she hid information that could bring doon that bunch ae ruthless gangsters,” The Cooncillor purred. “Poor misled Lesley, oan the other haun, wis a battlefield casualty who knew the risks ae fighting oan the wrang side, despite the warning signals being there every time she went hame tae that horrible man ae hers. Noo, being wrang isnae ae crime, bit being blind and foolish could be construed in some quarters as dicing wae death.”
“Ah’m sorry?” Pearl asked, shaking her heid, looking across at Geraldine again, who looked away, clearly embarrassed.
“Whit Ah’m saying, Pearl, is that Lesley Bare terrorised a lot ae wummin in the toon that wur trying tae reach oot tae her. Ah kin assure ye that people like me will never furgive themsels fur failing in the task ae helping her tae see the sense ae her misguided ways, despite trying. Whit ye’re saying aboot aw they poor poliswummin is commendable and we want tae help ye in yer endeavours, bit there’s a time and place, so there is.”
“A time and place…fur whit?”
“Look, hen, we totally agree and understaun where ye’re coming fae, bit there ur casualties in war. Lesley Bare is a prime example. We hiv resources that kin be put at yer disposal, bit we hiv tae work thegither oan this. Aye, we want justice, bit no at the cost ae others…who in the great scheme ae things, may be judged as being mair deserving than others.”
“Ah’m sorry, bit ye’ve lost me again, so ye hiv,” Pearl admitted, feeling uncomfortable, as she looked at the hungry faces sitting there, sizing her up, much the same as her auld granny’s flea-bitten Alsatian used tae dae wae the can ae Kennomeat he wis aboot tae devour each night efter being oot wandering the streets wae his scruffy pals aw day.
“Whit Ah’m saying is that Wan-bob Broon is no only setting the scene fur him and that pal ae his tae walk, bit he’s daeing it wae your assistance, at the expense ae those ae us that hiv been campaigning oan behauf ae that wee angel that died under the wheels ae that van, that night.”
“Bit…”
“If Teddy Bare goes up oan trial, charged wae his wife’s murder, based oan evidence that you manage tae somehow come up wae fae they ex-poliswummin, then it takes the focus…and the public outrage, away fae Rose Bain’s killers, as they swan oot the door, hivving pulled the wool o’er everywan’s eyes. Noo, Ah know that me saying this might come as a shock, Pearl, hen, bit believe you me, there’s mair than wan way tae skin a cat, so there is.”
“So, youse ur asking me tae back aff? Is that whit ye’re saying?”
“Naw, whit Ah’m asking is this. Let’s you and us join forces and work thegither tae bring The Irish Brigade doon, wance and fur aw…efter Rose Bain gets her day in court. The evidence ae whit they done tae they poor poliswummin will still be there. Ye said so yersel. Time is running oot and Teddy Bare’s trial is looming. Why put aw that energy intae something that might no materialise? Everywan knows that they poor ex-poliswummin urn
ae gonnae sign statements. Any manipulation ae the charges against Teddy Bare by they crooked pals ae his in the force, will hiv been done and dealt wae by noo. The Irish Brigade might be doon, bit they’re noo oot. Fae whit we kin gather, Cleopatra is oan their trail, irrespective ae whit we kin dae. Why no take advantage ae allowing somewan like her tae dae the dirty work fur us?”
Pearl’s heid wis spinning. Nae wonder Geraldine hid looked away in embarrassment. Despite whit The Purple Dove hid jist said, this wisnae politics. This wis sexual assault, manipulation by those in authority, who abused their power tae rape, sexually assault and harass dozens ae victims o’er the years that eventually led tae people committing suicide and murder. Lesley Bare might’ve been thick, misled and misguided as tae where her loyalties lay in regard tae her sex, bit that wisnae an excuse tae deny her justice. She felt sick. Being asked tae choose who should get justice and who shouldnae hid been the last thing she’d expected. She wis sitting in the presence ae the person who’d accused her ma, o’er the word ae a notorious Irish Brigade member, ae poisoning her and her family. The consequences being that her ma could’ve done a hefty bit ae jail time, despite her innocence. Leslie Bare wisnae a casualty ae the fight tae improve the lot ae wummin in the world. Lesley Bare wis a victim ae a nasty manipulative basturt who believed aw wummin wur dispensable. The fact that Geraldine hid done jail time in fighting the cause ae wummin’s freedom made sitting listening tae whit Mrs Purple Arse hid been pontificating aboot seem aw the mair bizarre. Whit Geraldine and a lot ae other wummin wur daeing night efter night wae their spray-paint cans wisnae politics. That wis taking the fight tae where it should be taken. Whit Her Purple Majesty wis talking aboot might indeed be politics in her circles…a bit ae give and take here…you scratch ma back and Ah’ll scratch yours, tae ensure the deal goat done…bit it wisnae like that in Pearl’s world. The Mankys might be something mair than whit they claimed tae be, bit they wurnae liberty takers. She looked at The Purple Dove, sitting across fae her, trying, bit failing tae come across as Joan ae Arc. Fuck her.
“Ah need your support tae get justice fur aw they poliswummin,” she said tae them tersely.
“That goes withoot saying, hen,” The Cooncillor purred, the faces, except fur Geraldine’s, slackening. “As ye said yersel, time is marching oan and the chances ae you gathering up the evidence you need tae influence the charges against Inspector Bare his probably run oot. Jist you gie us a shout anytime, Pearl, hen. Ma door doon oan George Square will always be open tae ye, so it will.”
“The letters that Collette James hid in her possession? Ah’m trying tae find oot whit became ae them.”
“Aye, well, ye’d need tae ask her that. As far as Ah’m aware, the wummin who go by the name ae The Showgirls only ever goat a brief glance ae them.”
“She’s er, in hospital…oot in Gartcosh. She wis sectioned, so she wis.”
“Aw, Ah’m sorry tae hear that, hen,” The Cooncillor said, exaggerating the sadness in her voice, as the others nodded.
“So, ye widnae hiv any idea whit became ae them then?”
“Ah’m afraid not.”
“Ah heard that she wis supposed tae hiv been meeting wan ae The Showgirls up at the wee bridge in Cadder, bit that person never turned up, or if she did, she wis late,” Pearl continued, feeling hersel getting mair frustrated, as Geraldine shifted in her seat again. “Ah think she wis probably waylaid. Ah don’t suppose any ae youse wid know by who?” she asked, as Purple Drawers, screwed her face up apologetically, while the others looked as if butter widnae melt in their mooths.
“Sorry,” The Virgin Mary said quietly.
“Okay, how aboot this wan then? The last time Ah wis in yer office, before Ah wis evicted, Ah asked ye a question.”
“And whit wis that, hen?”
“Who did Geraldine here haun Rose Bain’s stolen file across tae oan Friday the 24th ae October and who, in the polis, did that person haun it back tae?”
Despite the gasps that seemed tae light up the dingy room, Pearl struggled no tae pish hersel laughing at them. The faces roond the table, including Geraldine’s, looked as if she’d jist nipped oot ae her seat and slapped each and every wan ae them individually, before nipping back unnoticed tae her seat. Tae save them fae further embarrassment and tae allow them tae recover fae their shock, Pearl looked aboot the room, noticing fur the first time the stacked black cases ae the Sally Army band’s musical instruments. She remembered Johnboy telling her and Senga aboot wee Skull Kelly breaking intae the hall and stealing a trumpet, back in the mid-sixties when they wur manky wee snappers. She remembered her and Senga laughing, as Johnboy went through the motions ae showing them how Skull stood up oan tap ae a horse and cart that they’d hired tae flog stolen briquettes, blowing hell oot ae the trumpet, as the Sally Army band, including the owner ae the instrument, played at the other end ae Grafton Square, trying tae convert the local Pakistani and Indian wummin tae Christianity. The local dugs hid aw been competing wae the racket the band wis making and the weans hid aw been waiting fur them tae finish, so they could haun o’er the clothes they’d hijacked fae their ma’s washing lines fur a balloon or a whistle, as they’d assumed the band wur a group ae local rag men, competing wae each other fur the clothes the weans wur turning up wae. When she thought aboot it, she couldnae remember the last time she’d come across a rag man. When she wis a wean, they’d come roond the backs oan a daily basis.
“And whit makes ye think that we’d know anything aboot that stolen file, Pearl?” Purple Drawers finally asked, looking like Madonna this time, as Geraldine shifted uncomfortably in her seat again.
“Because Ah heard, oan good authority, that The Showgirls wur responsible fur stealing the file fae the security section ae The Cove, doon in Pitt Street, before haunin it back. Ah also want tae know whit wis exchanged fur its safe return.”
“Fae whit Ah picked up, it wis Lesley Bare that walked oot ae the place wae it tucked up her jumper. She worked there, remember?” the Cooncillor replied slyly. “Presumably, it wis her that returned it as well.”
“Ah also heard, oan good authority, that the file wis handed back oan the same day that Lesley wis murdered, so, it couldnae hiv been her.”
“Oh, and who telt ye that?”
“Somewan who’s as concerned as Ah am that the victims…aw the victims…get justice.”
“Look, Pearl, Ah thought we’d jist agreed that we’d be working thegither oan this?”
“We did.”
“So, who ‘oan good authority’ ur we talking aboot?”
“Ah…Ah don’t know her name.”
“So, it’s a wummin…that’s whit ye’re saying? If ye know that, then surely ye must know who she is?”
“Ah’ve only met her the wance…and it wis dark.”
“Aye, bit she must’ve introduced hersel.”
Shit. Pearl racked her brain, bit fur the life ae her couldnae remember the name ae the film or the cartoon character she’d come up wae fur Mrs Fag-end. She couldnae call her that. They’d think she wis aff her heid. Christ, think, Pearl. Ye must be able tae remember it. It hid been her favourite cartoon as a wean.
“Er, she called hersel, er, Pussy Galore.”
“Ye whit?” five voices chorused, four ae them wae a look ae horror and disgust splashed across their faces.
“Pussy Galore? What’s a pussy…sounds like the name of a cat,” The Virgin Mary wondered oot loud, looking at her sisters fur confirmation.
“Er, Ah think it wis a character oot ae a James Bond film, the name ae which Ah cannae remember noo,” Pearl managed tae get in, trying tae make oot the name wis absolutely nothing tae dae wae her, as Mrs Prim Lanky Hair slung her daggers wae they piercing eyes ae hers, still clearly disgusted.
“And she called hersel that… a wummin?” the other Mrs Unnamed asked, hivving been silent up until then. “Sounds like a poliswummin that wid come up wae a nom de plume like that, so it dis.”
“Er, aye. Ah wis a wee bit surprise
d by the name masel,” she lied, feeling they cheeks ae hers flush, as the Nun gied her a strange look.
“Look, there ur some things we’ll be able tae assist ye wae jist noo, bit other things? Wance the gangsters’ trial is o’er and done wae, we kin get mair involved…wance the dust settles. Time’s running oot fur aw us involved in The Justice Fur Rose Bain Campaign, so it is.”
“Oh, right. Well, look, Ah need tae go. Ah’ve goat work and a deadline tae take care ae,” she blurted oot and stood up, as everywan wished her well.
“Ah’ll see ye oot, Pearl,” Geraldine announced, following her.
“Right, ladies,” The Purple Dove said, scowling, as she looked across at the door. “We’ll need tae try and find oot who this Pussy Galore wan is. If we don’t, that wee frizzy-haired wildcat is gonnae end up pulling the ceiling doon roond aboot oor ears, so she is.”
“Ur you bloody-well joking, Geraldine? Whit the hell ur ye daeing hinging aboot wae that bunch ae screwballs? That Purple Dove wan will sell you and they wummin in there doon the river. You mark ma words!”
“Look, Pearl. Ah know it looks bad, bit that heidline this morning wis like a grenade gaun aff amongst a lot ae people, so it wis.”
“Geraldine, Ah’m gonnae find oot whit the hell’s gaun oan. Noo, ye kin fart aboot wae that lot, or ye kin help me oot here, it’s up tae you. Ah’m no gonnae judge ye, because Ah know ye’re a good person, bit that evil bitch in there is gonnae get ye hung, so she is,” she snarled in anger, stomping aff doon towards Cathedral Street, heidin fur her work, tae see if Susan McFarlane’s address hid turned up.
